Sexual addiction has always existed, butIt is in our time that this topic has become public and a subject of discussion. It is called self-destructive, because it causes a lot of suffering. And if sexual addiction in men is usually more of a physiological nature, then for women it is a purely psychological problem. This kind of lack of freedom can easily be equated to alcohol or drug addiction. After all, its main factor is an escape from reality, an obsession with certain experiences. Women suffering from sex addiction experience real “withdrawal” if they are unable to satisfy their need. It is like an obsession that cannot be controlled; it is in first place in their lives, even despite the negative consequences.

Causes are from childhood

In most cases, the origins of the femalesexual addiction occurs in childhood. This is either sexual abuse at an early age, or simply a lack of attention from parents. In the first case, the child receives a distorted model of behavior. Having grown up, the girl begins to believe that sex with a partner is the only way to be needed by someone. Having experienced violence in childhood, she suffers from extremely low self-esteem. Having realized her “sinfulness”, the girl blames herself for what happened to her and does not believe that such a “terrible person” can be sincerely loved. Therefore, she looks for new sexual partners to relieve the feeling of loneliness, fear and helplessness. Only during sexual intercourse does she feel desired and needed; other aspects of life are of little interest to her. In the second case, when a woman’s sexual addiction arose due to the lack of attention to her as a child on the part of her loved ones, something similar happens. The girl lacks affection, love and touch; having grown up, she gets all this during sexual relations. Having received a brief moment of euphoria, she asserts herself and increases her self-esteem. But such a relationship does not bring tenderness and love, and therefore she goes in search of a new partner. It turns out to be a kind of vicious circle: escaping from loneliness, a woman looks for a sexual partner, and not having received spiritual closeness, she repeats the vicious path. She seduces and conquers a man again and again - but under the shell of a femme fatale lies the fear of accepting her uselessness. It is so arranged that children often blame themselves for the mistakes of adults. And if at a young age they were unloved or not treated with attention, then they consider themselves simply unworthy of it. With pain in their hearts, they accept the role of an outcast, whose pinnacle of happiness is crumbs from someone else's table. And therefore, they do not hesitate to change sexual partners for the sake of momentary happiness, not believing in the possibility of getting something more. Sometimes this leads to masochistic pleasure - to endure the humiliation of one's own worthlessness and repeat one's actions again and again. Even understanding the destructiveness of such behavior, they are unable to stop.

Disease or just debauchery?

When we hear about this kind of addiction,unflattering thoughts about women of easy virtue and prostitutes come to our minds. Although, as for the latter, there are only a few sexually addicted people among them - usually "night butterflies" are only concerned with the economic aspect. They are not interested in sex as such - they just do not see another way to earn money. Those who suffer from real sexual addiction cannot imagine their life without sexual relations. And not because they like the process itself: you can be sexually addicted without liking sex, because it is not the point. It is just that some women see sex as the only opportunity to feel affection, understanding, tenderness. Of course, such behavior is condemned by society, because those around do not understand the reasons that push a woman into the arms of different partners. And if for men such behavior is not considered a great sin, then a fat cross is put on the reputation of women. Having fallen into the trap of negative public opinion, a woman has no choice but to continue to look for "happiness" in this way - bad fame does not give the opportunity to meet a normal guy. Perhaps, by asking for help, she could change internally and change her behavior. But in our country it is not customary to "air dirty linen in public." In Western countries, there are entire clinics specializing in treating sexually addicted people. There, it is completely normal for people to come to a psychoanalyst with such a problem and receive professional help instead of condemnation. Therefore, before being indignant and insulting such women, it is worth considering - what prompted them to the fate of eternal spiritual loneliness in the beds of different men?

Fear of spiritual closeness

Perhaps the term "sexual addiction" itselfis not quite correct – it would be more accurate to say “violation of intimacy”. Many representatives of the fair sex realize that their behavior is wrong, they suffer from guilt and remorse, but continue to seek sexual adventures. It is like a forbidden fruit that frightens and attracts at the same time. They experience condemnation from others and even from their partners, becoming an object of insult. But this does not stop them. Why does sexual addiction control them? Be that as it may, women with such a problem themselves avoid permanent relationships, because they are afraid of spiritual intimacy. Most often, they simply do not know what it is. Neither at home nor at school does anyone teach how to love correctly, to take and give wonderful feelings. And sex serves as an excellent substitute for spiritual warmth, albeit short-lived. After all, the very word “intimacy” in the minds of many has become synonymous with the word “sex”:

• I have close relations with him.
• Do you mean sex?

But true intimacy implies trust,absence of fear, desire to always be close to a loved one. There, problems are solved calmly and together, and the novelty of the relationship is maintained in the shared bedroom, and not in the search for new partners for sex. Unaware of the existence of such internal warmth and closeness, many unhappy women confuse ordinary sexual addiction and the feeling of love. Is there really no way to get rid of sexual addiction? Everything is not so gloomy. This problem, of course, can be solved. The main thing is to realize its existence and start the path to healing. You need to try to understand yourself, find the original reason for your behavior, then it will be much easier to cope. If you yourself do not suffer from sexual addiction, but you have similar acquaintances, then the “force” method will not give anything. Until a person himself wants to improve his life, no one will help him get rid of the problem. Of course, there is a difficult path ahead. However, like everything in our life that requires a good result.

If you understand that all your troubles come fromchildhood, try the following exercise. Take a comfortable position of the body, try to relax as much as possible. Your breathing should be deep and slow. Imagine that you are walking along an unusual road that leads to your childhood. On this road you will meet a little girl 5-6 years old. It's you many years ago. Sit down side by side, stroke her head and try to calm her. Say that you love her, take her in his arms. Promise that everything in her life will be good and that you will always protect her. Stay with her side by side. Then go back the same way. Do this exercise more often - it will help you to reconcile with your past, calm and love that part of yourself that pushes you to ill-considered actions

Try to communicate more and sincerely withordinary, healthy women. Joint gatherings, intimate conversations about sex will help relieve tension and shame. You will feel that sexual contact is not the only opportunity for self-satisfaction and joy. Loneliness, which throws you into other people's beds, will gradually recede. Ordinary female friendship with support in difficult times and mutual assistance can work wonders. You will be distracted from hunting for the opposite sex and will find a lot of interesting activities in the circle of ordinary women.

If it seems difficult to get rid of the problemindependently - contact a psychologist. Do not be afraid and ashamed. First, your meeting will be confidential. Secondly, you will not be condemned, but will be offered a real way out of the impasse. After all, if you continue to suffer alone, your whole life will turn into a total torment. Is not it easier to try to get rid of this with the help of a professional?

If you have decided to start a new life without sexaddiction - it means that you have already taken a big step towards change for the better. Your beliefs that you are alone and helpless are wrong. There are probably many close people around you who are ready to support you and love you, just do not push away their helping hand. Understand this, and you will be able to keep the one and only man you dream of by your side. Feel that not only sex gives warmth and closeness, but also care, loyalty, devotion. What happened to you is a test that can be overcome, or you can just live with it, tearing your soul apart. Sexual addiction is not a sentence, and there are many people in the world who have coped with much more difficult life situations. Love yourself and the world around you, and then life will sparkle with new, bright colors. We recommend reading:

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