It is unlikely that there will be a person in the world who, at leastonce in a lifetime, even briefly, would not have experienced an attack of jealousy. This negatively colored, destructive, extremely painful and unhealthy feeling that arises when it seems that the closest person is not attentive enough to you, is familiar to a greater or lesser degree to almost everyone. Often jealousy takes a perverse, insane form, when a person thinks out and fantasizes about where, when, with whom and how his half changes to him. A jealous partner against his will becomes involved in these "games" of a sick mind, and he has to defend himself, justify himself in what he really did not do. Such endlessly repeated situations in no way contribute to strengthening relationships, so the question of how to get rid of jealousy is relevant at all times.

Jealousy is a feeling that destroys the human psyche

Anyone can be jealous, to anything and inany age. The Kid is jealous of parents to a younger brother or sister, a teenage girl is the best friend to classmates, but children's jealousy is a perfectly normal phenomenon that disappears when receiving attention from parents or friends and finally disappears with age. No adequate adult person will not forbid mothers to communicate with a neighbor or friend and colleagues, but a loving jealousy of attention is never enough. He every time demands it more and more in unlimited quantities. Adult jealousy is due to the state of full integration into another person, when the most insignificant of his switching to another object provokes violent protest and wounded pride. Therefore, we can say with certainty that the roots of jealousy lie in pride. Such a chronic inclination to jealousy is called jealousy and is compared with illness. Chronic jealous and himself is not happy, but to overcome his emotions, which stem from claims for complete and exclusive "possession" of the object of his adoration, can not. These claims constantly appear, and although often there are no real reasons for them, the jealous man lives in a constant fear of loss. It always seems to him that someone else takes away the love of the most important person from him, and he is not able to bear such experiences, he is in a constant state of stress, anger, anger and resentment that push him into inadequate and unreasonable deeds. According to statistics, almost half of the world population is affected to a greater or lesser extent by jealousy, while 27% of men and 23% of women suffer from hypertrophy. Such emotional people live on average 10-12 years less than those who do not subject themselves to such strong emotions. After family scandals because of money, jealousy is in second place, and very often both end in the destruction of the family, and suffer from this most of all children. Therefore, with jealousy - a monster with green eyes, as it is often called, - it is necessary and you can fight.

Jealous - does not mean love

There is a common stereotype - jealous, thenloves. And many women begin to doubt the feelings of their partner, if there is no jealousy in the relationship. In fact, this opinion is as true as it is such as "beats means loves." In a sense of jealousy there is nothing good, and with love it is not connected. In fact, love is a feeling of gratuitousness when one wants to make it so that the other person is well. Love gives everything, and in return does not require anything. Such a bright, positive feeling can not have anything in common with jealousy and violence. The myth "jealous and beats - it means love" was invented by people who want to occupy a special position, humiliating their loved ones. A jealous man has two ways to achieve the object of his adoration and to do so that he does not want to look the other way: to demand endlessly that he, as a faithful dog, be at his feet all the time or make an effort, changing and placing his half to himself. "Crazed" jealous often choose the first, thus destroying their marriage. A jealous man is not a confident person. It is driven by the fear of loss and the resulting loneliness. It is the fear of inevitable loneliness, and not love, that forces him to hold a partner by his side by any means and often wasted his life on a relationship with a man whom he may not even need by and large. Unlike a woman, a man can be jealous of a spouse even to their common children, believing that she gives them much more attention than him. Male jealousy manifests itself in an acute desire to maximally rule over his woman and completely limit her freedom. The jealous man does everything possible to prevent his companion from doing make-up, dress beautifully, and meet with friends. The ideal option for him would be that a woman does not have friends at all. The roots of female jealousy in most cases grow from low self-esteem. The Revnivitsa needs constant confirmation from the partner in its importance and attractiveness for him. It requires constant confirmation on his part that she is much prettier and more interesting than other women around him. Let's try to more precisely formulate the main reasons that make people jealous of each other:

Fear of losing your property. Egoism generates proprietary feelings and a too violent fantasy, which the jealous acted more often without any grounds and reasons.

Fear of loneliness and social unsettledness. It seems to jealous people that they will not be able to exist normally (morally or materially) without their partner.

Low self-esteem. The causes of jealousy often lie in the lack of confidence in their appearance and charm.

Children's complexes. Many jealousy build their relationships following the example of parents, where the father or mother was constantly jealous of each other.

How to get rid of jealousy forever

Jealousy is akin to a disease, and get rid of itfeelings alone is rather difficult, because in order to learn to manage it, you first need to adequately understand the causes of its occurrence and understand the hopelessness of this leading relationship in the abyss of feelings. Therefore, as with any treatment, the best solution is to seek help from a specialist. If there is no such possibility, you can try using the following method consisting of several stages:

First of all, you will have to realize that you are obsessed with jealousy, and honestly tell yourself about it. This awareness is especially difficult for men.

Then you need to understand the reasons for jealousyin your particular case. Having determined them, try without charges, calmly, as quietly as possible, talk with your soul mate about the experiences that you are experiencing.

It is necessary to realize that your doubts,who are jealous, may be mistaken, and be prepared to listen and accept the point of view of their partner. If there is still distrust, check your doubts. Most likely you will be convinced that you were wrong.

When you finally decide to win in yourselfjealousy, do not spare a few days to write a written list of situations that could provoke you into a flash of jealousy. Think in detail and slowly all options. Place them in order of increasing emotional intensity - from the least to the most unpleasant for you. Drawing up such a list can take several days. Do not be lazy. Think it over carefully. After the list has been drawn up, the most important and difficult task is to be done: to include pleasant relaxing music, to be comfortable, and one after another mentally live these situations, presenting them in as much detail as possible. Do not go to the next situation until you experience the whole gamut of unpleasant sensations. You do not need to worry about the whole list in one day, because it will not benefit from it. Gradually, this technique will help to get rid of feelings of jealousy for a partner. No matter how strong and all-consuming jealousy is, it is always possible to cope with it, the main thing is to sincerely want it. Any of us is able to ask how to get rid of jealousy, and, having understood yourself, take your feelings under control. you must love yourself and believe that you are good in yourself and worthy of love. When you really understand that the roads around you are what you are, without any conditions, you can accept yourself and become self-reliant. You will no longer need to try to earn love by pretending to be someone else, and the exhausting need to constantly keep a partner close to you will disappear.

A few tips to the former jealous

Having understood myself and having worked on my ownfeelings, you will be able to bring your relationship to a new level, free from uncontrolled jealousy. That this self-destructive feeling again does not take over you, adopt a few simple rules:

• constantly develop and strengthen confidence in your self-sufficiency;
• build relationships with a partner on mutual trust;
• spend a lot of time together, but do not be too much imposed and give each other freedom within reasonable limits;
• find an interesting occupation or hobby for yourself, which will take the place of jealousy in your free time and thoughts;
• love yourself for who you are;
• treat jealousy only as one of many human emotions, do not put it at the head of your relationship;
• do not give vent to hysterics against a loved one - aggression will not help him to hold back, she only frightens and repels;
• Be sincere, tell your partner about your fears and ask him not to provoke you,
• to the feelings of your second half treat with respect.

Getting rid of jealousy will require great spiritualforces and will take a lot of time. Be patient. Jealousy, like any other passion, you need to keep in check. To the question of how to get rid of it forever, you need to approach logically. Distrust has not made any family happy. Never compare yourself with others. On Earth, more than 6 billion people, and there is always someone smarter and more beautiful than us, but that does not mean that your second half wants to replace you with someone else. After all, she has already made her choice in your favor and is near you. This means that she needs you and you are what is not in others. The main thing for the preservation of relations is to learn from their past mistakes, become wiser and be able to make compromises.

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