A confident woman -self-sufficient, she does not hide from problems, but solves them. A self-confident woman looks the truth in the eye, she does not need to raise her voice to put someone in their place. A self-confident woman does not seek praise and confirmation of her merits, but skillfully includes her shortcomings among them.

A little psychology

Why do some people go through life with their heads held high?head, while others even find it difficult to lift their eyes from the ground? In psychology, there is a concept called "self-esteem". This is how a person evaluates himself from the professional, intellectual, sexual, attractive sides. The sum of these self-assessments makes up self-respect and attitude towards oneself as a person. The owner of high self-esteem is a self-confident person, low - insecure. If it is overestimated, then we call such a person overconfident. Our psychological comfort directly depends on our self-esteem. You can change your life beyond recognition by gaining self-confidence, but how can you do this if you are embarrassed by your own shadow. What is a self-confident person! How to develop self-confidence? According to psychologists, self-confidence is a special case of confidence. Self-confidence is the ability and skill to manage yourself and your fears. Psychologist José Volpe, observing his patients, described in detail all the fears inherent in us: fear of being rejected, fear of getting into new situations, fear of being the center of attention, fear of being criticized, fear of not being able to say no, fear of seeming inferior. The development of all these fears can lead to a serious psychological illness. All these fears are in the psyche of any woman, but some know how to fight them, while for others they become the dominant behavior. Their development leads to the fact that girls constantly experience a feeling of guilt and shame, become inactive and, in the end, stop trusting even themselves and their feelings. Why does this happen? From early childhood, we all instill in our children that they are the smartest, the bravest, the most beautiful and the most talented. We try to develop a sense of self-worth in them. Children grow up and begin their independent life. For some, everything works out: love, friends, work. Others, on the contrary, cannot find themselves in life, are afraid to meet new people, look for an interesting, high-paying job, believe in love. How can we help them? Is there a pill that can make a person self-confident? Psychologists agree on one thing: there is no pill for fear and no powder to be confident and self-sufficient. I am sure we can help! We must do this ourselves, the main thing is to want and move in the right direction, without fear of doing what you are most afraid of. Let's start right now. Let's act decisively, without looking back, even if it is very scary.

Create a diary

Most girls kept diaries as children,where they wrote down what they considered most important to themselves. So we will start a notebook that will help us cope with uncertainty and indecision. Write down all your successful deeds there every day, even the most insignificant ones: delicious borscht, visited the dentist. At the moment when uncertainty rolls in like an avalanche, take and read your notes - this will definitely help. And do not forget to praise yourself for everything you do. Praise always increases your self-esteem. If during the day an unpleasant situation happened to you and you could not get out of it with a sense of self-worth, try to rethink it in a calm environment and replay it with a positive ending. For example: you were treated rudely, and you suffered from this problem the rest of the day. Stop it, take a notebook and write down how your self-confident friend would behave in this situation. Next time in a similar situation, you will have a kind of prepared way out of this problem. Gradually, there will be more and more of these blanks, and then the day will come when you will no longer need to look at your notes; you will learn to solve this problem right away.

Find a positive

Try to find your positive side in a negative incident.positive aspects. Forgot your gloves on the subway - don't scold yourself. Say that you've been wanting to buy new ones for a long time, but these ones are already out of fashion. Did the hairdresser cut your hair too short? No problem, your hair will grow back quickly. Since childhood, our parents have told us more than once that we need to learn from other people's mistakes. And we will learn from other people's positive examples. A colleague talks to the boss, boldly defends his point of view on the problem - take note. Learn not to be afraid to ask questions, to ask questions if you don't understand something, to have your own opinion. It's better to feel stupid once than to suffer from this feeling for the rest of your life. There is no such person who would know the answers to all questions, which means that almost everyone from time to time gets into a similar situation as you.

Correct Speak

In order to feel confident,You need to learn to speak correctly. I mean not only the correctness of your speech, that is, the absence of filler words (learn to fill them with "silence"), but the use of specific words. A sentence should always begin with the pronoun "I". I want to look, I want to go, I need this ... And it will not be superfluous to use verbs in the imperative mood. Show me, tell me, bring me. Your speech should be emotional, so do not be shy, learn to talk about your feelings clearly, without hints. Do not be afraid to say the word "no" if you do not want to do something or do not like something. Humor plays a huge role in our lives. It is almost impossible to offend and unbalance a person if he has a sense of humor. As the great Beaumarchais said: "If I did not laugh at everything, I would have to cry all the time." So, if you learn to laugh at all the negative manifestations of life, you will feel more confident.

Relation to appearance

Well, and the most important aspect, which is undoubtedlywill increase your self-esteem and self-confidence - this is your appearance. As soon as you choose the right hairstyle, buy a fashionable, well-tailored thing that suits you, look in the mirror and say: "You're a good devil!" Confidence will not take long to come - you are on the right track. But I want to warn you that no beautiful dress will protect you from a boor, and for this you need to do everything that is discussed in this article. And in conclusion, a few short everyday tips. First, choose an encouraging slogan for yourself. Many ladies can be helped by a phrase chosen for themselves, repeated every day several times. For example, "I can do anything, I will succeed." And also - in order to stop being shy and be the center of attention, you must first learn to stand in the center of an empty space, and not somewhere on the edge. Then soon you will not only be of interest, but you will become the life of the party. Dear girls, when you get rid of false ideas about yourself, your life will change. A self-sufficient woman is a confident woman. Your men, your children and, first of all, you need this! Your own importance, the feeling of it, is much more important than any ambitions.

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