Communication has long ago become an integral partour lives. At work, while studying, in transport, at home, on the Internet - yes, you never know where else! It takes the lion's share of our time. And everything would be nothing, if not for communication barriers. It is they, these annoying obstacles, that prevent us from receiving from him the pleasure and benefit. These barriers arise in a variety of situations and virtually every person. Therefore, in order to achieve success in life, you need to be well versed in what types of communication barriers and ways to overcome them.
What difficulties are there in communication?
Probably, each of you had a feeling thatthe interlocutor allegedly defends himself by erecting an invisible wall between you. This wall is the very notorious barrier. Where do they come from? Barriers of communication appear in our lives for various reasons - as a rule, this close intertwining of the features of our characters and situation. And already, sometimes, you will not understand who or what this fault is. As already mentioned above, practically every person faced problems in various communication situations, regardless of gender, age, social status, values and attitudes. This can only mean one thing - the reasons for the barriers in communication are different, and they are present in the life of each person. These reasons can be realized or not realized by communicating people. This largely depends on how quickly these people notice that they have problems, understand what kind they are and can finally solve them. By the way, barriers in communication can be even thought up by one or several interlocutors - and even this is enough for failures in interaction with each other. It is necessary to say that some barriers can occur more often in certain people and in certain situations. They can be peculiar to a certain gender, age, profession, nationality, culture, situation. Each of these patterns is worthy of separate consideration, but we will not do this within the framework of our article. So, what are the main types of barriers in communication? Communication barriers. These are barriers to communication, related to the exchange of information between interlocutors in the course of communication. What are they like?
- Semantic barrier. It gets in your way when you and your interlocutor mean different things under the same concepts. Such a barrier arises almost always and everywhere, because We understand a lot of things in a very different way. For example, for one girl a good husband is someone who loves her, cares for her, earns enough money, wants a child, loves spending time with her; and for another - one that rarely drinks and rarely beats it. Therefore, speaking on the same topic - "what are all the same guys!" - they actually will talk about different things and may face misunderstanding each other. In order to break this barrier it is necessary to understand the partner and his world view well-those meanings that he imposes on various concepts. In case of possible inaccuracies, always explain in detail what you mean, and try to use words and phrases that are understandable to the other person.
- Logical barrier. In fact, this is the inability to express one's thoughts. In the speech of such a person, cause-and-effect relations are confused, substitution of concepts occurs. Or it can be difficult for him to choose words for those complex thoughts that run through his head. If you encounter such an interlocutor, then have patience: listen to it very carefully and ask questions - this will help you to obtain the necessary information. If such a sin you yourself, it is better to try to get rid of it. Listen to how good speakers or writers express their thoughts, read the logic textbook, register for oratory courses, or simply ask your friends to give you feedback with recommendations - any of these options will help you become a more attractive companion.
- Phonetic barrier. This is a bad technique of speech - when it is unclear what the interlocutor says, and this prevents to perceive information. If you are interested in communicating with this person, then there are several options. With formal or business communication you will have to adapt to his manner of speaking, occasionally asking again in confusing times. With informal or friendly communication, you can softly convey to the interlocutor that it is difficult for you to understand it because of some features of his speech. Ask him, if possible, to adjust to you and adjust them.
- Modal barrier. We all receive information from the world through five senses, but one of them is a priority. This is your modality. For example, people with visual modality are best able to assimilate the information they have seen, but what they hear is much worse. Knowing this, try to determine the modality of your interlocutor on the fly and use it: visual show charts and diagrams, play with voice in voice, and touch frequently to the kinesthetic and show everything "on your fingers". Use appropriate verbs in speech, for example, "see," "hear," or "feel."
- The personal barrier. Each of us has a character, and some of his features may not suit someone. But at someone these features are so sharp that its character can be a barrier in dialogue. This may be due to lack of knowledge of one's own characteristics or lack of self-control. For example, excessive slowness or, conversely, fussiness can irritate communication partners. In case you yourself have encountered such a person, try to report your discomfort and ask him to be slower or faster. Well, try to adequately perceive your own shortcomings, tk. for someone and they too can become a barrier.
Interaction barriers. These are barriers related to interaction with a person during communication and arising from discontent with the behavior of a communication partner. As a rule, there are significant differences in the positions of the interlocutors.
- Motivational barrier. Occurs when partners in communication have different motives for coming into contact. For example, you want support from a girlfriend, and she wants you to discuss her new dress. In this case, you may encounter misunderstanding and even quarrel. To prevent this from happening, it will be helpful to indicate your own motives in time: "You know, now I really need you to support me, and then discuss the dress."
- Barrier of incompetence. Often found in teamwork. You can be angry with the incompetence of a partner when he starts talking obvious to you nonsense. This causes a feeling of anger, vexation and wasted time. You have two options - or gradually push him to a deeper understanding of the issue (for example, unobtrusively explaining something), or turn off communication. The choice is yours, and it depends on your goals.
- Ethical barrier. Occurs in the situation of incompatibility of the moral positions of the partners in communication. The main thing is not to try to re-educate or ridicule your interlocutor. It is much more correct to turn off communication or try to find some kind of compromise, especially if you have some important common goal.
- Barrier of communication styles. Each of us has its own unique manner. It depends on temperament, character, upbringing, profession and other factors. As a rule, it is formed for a long time, and then it becomes difficult to change. The style of communication includes the main motive (why do you communicate - self-affirmation, support, etc. ...), attitudes toward others (kindness, tolerance, cruelty ...), attitude to yourself and the nature of the impact on people (pressure, manipulation, persuasion and etc. ...). Most often, the style of communication of another person we just have to accept, since it is difficult to change, and communication is often necessary.
Barriers of understanding and perception. These are barriers related to the perception and knowledge of each other, as well as the establishment of mutual understanding on this basis.
- Aesthetic barrier. Occurs when we do not like the way the interlocutor looks. There are different reasons for its occurrence, for example, if it is untidy or carelessly clothed or if something annoying in its appearance is irritating us. It is difficult to think about this, but it is necessary, because this contact can be very important for us.
- The social barrier. The cause of difficulties in communication can be different social status of partners. However, it is important to remember here that the emergence of such a barrier is primarily due to attitudes in the minds of the interlocutors. If they attach importance to the social status of each other and for them it can be an obstacle, it can complicate communication. But in fact for many situations the status is not important - for example, to discuss some of your favorite pursuits or support each other.
- Barrier of negative emotions. Agree, it is quite difficult to communicate with a frustrated or angry person. Many of us tend to take these emotions to one's own account (at least in part). It should be remembered that often the cause of bad mood of the interlocutor lies in some other things - the situation in the family, problems at work or a personal crisis. However, in the event that the negative emotions of the interlocutor significantly hamper the conversation, it is better to postpone it for another time.
- Barrier installation. Very often communication is complicated if your partner initially does not have a very good opinion of you. In most cases, it will be more correct to discuss this issue and honestly ask the interlocutor about it, try to explain to him that he is mistaken. In those situations where this is not possible, try to simply take into account this fact and build your communication with the partner fairly accurately. When some time passes and he realizes that his installation is in no way supported, it can disappear by itself.
- The "double" barrier. It is that we involuntarily think of our interlocutor as ourselves: we ascribe to him our opinions and views and expect from him the same actions that they themselves would have committed. But he's different! It is important not to forget about this and try to perceive and remember everything that distinguishes it from us.
- Rudeness and ignorance. We all face people who are simply badly educated. Sometimes such treatment should be simply endured, especially in the event that a person does not respond to comments. It is very important in this situation to remain polite - sometimes this in itself stops rudeness. Remember that in communication with such a person you have some purpose, and this is clearly not the desire to put it in place.
- Inability to listen. It manifests itself in the lack of interest in what you say, the desire to talk about yourself or constantly interrupt. If you are in such a situation, the blood from your nose is necessary, so that you will be listened to, try to speak better. Use various ways to attract attention: intonation, facial expressions, gestures, the basics of NLP.
Who is he, a person who regularly faces barriers to communication?
We told you about the main barriers that preventfruitful communication of people. However, did you notice that some people constantly have some difficulties connected with communication, and to others everything goes like clockwork? Indeed, there are types of character that significantly impede interaction with other people. As a rule, such a person behaves in a similar way in completely different situations. And then he himself complains that no one wants to communicate with him. In this case, the personality of this person acts as a barrier to communication. What are the main features of this nature? First of all, it is necessary to say about such a feature as global mistrust. Such a person does not trust either himself, or people, or the world at all. He is suspicious and disposed towards others. As a rule, he achieves his goals at the expense of other people. At the same time, he is often torn apart by internal contradictions, which he is not very aware of. Man, unsuccessful in communication, is characterized by egocentricity, authoritarianism and a tendency to manipulation. He loves to be praised when he gets what he wanted for a long time. He has proprietary features. If his desires are not satisfied, he is angry, but almost never helps other people achieve their goals and does not sympathize with them. Such a person is emotionally unstable, and his mood often changes. The people around him describe him as irritable and quick-tempered, but internally cold. He often experiences negative emotions and has a low level of self-control. This person does not understand others well and their feelings. He is insensitive to what happens to them, is characterized by low insight and observation. He is not given to understand that the interlocutor may be important to something else or that he understands the meaning of this or that phrase differently. He is often unable to predict and evaluate the future. He is characterized by shyness, isolation, insecurity, alienation, passivity, lack of initiative. Usually such a person turns out to be intolerant, ill-educated and ignorant. At the same time he thinks in very strict categories and frameworks, and the surrounding reality should not go beyond them. He has a lot of stereotypes. He is envious and at the same time vain. A lot of what he expects from other people, he is prone to outbursts of jealousy. He does not know how to argue his statements, choose an adequate form for them, establish and stop contact with others. Unsuccessful in communication, a person does not know how to give good feedback. He talks a lot and listens a little, periodically makes unacceptably long pauses in speech, likes to interrupt interlocutors and then "slow down" (this is due to the fact that his vocabulary does not correspond to what he wants to say). For him, social norms often turn out to be incomprehensible - he does not know how to keep distance, is inclined to blackmail, lies, pressure and aggression. Most often in communication uses the following strategies: protection and avoidance of communication, depreciation of the opinions of others and aggression, control over others or excessive formalism. Such a person can be described as immature, infantile, and sometimes immoral. As a rule, this person is not very happy with his life and successes. Any failure causes anger and aggression in him, as a result of which he often tries to achieve his goals by some immoral means. He does not value himself or other people. He does not have the ability to really love and start a close relationship, so he usually does not have friends and family. Indeed, the psychological portrait we painted is terrible and resembles the image of some criminal or marginal. But in one sense or another, this is so. Constant difficulties in communication are a symptom of the fact that a person has something not right inside himself. But not necessarily he will have all of the above features and features. The psychological portrait written above is collective, and it includes a great many different people with a common problem. Therefore, in life, you can observe only some specific features and features.
Difficulties in communication and life situation
However, everything depends not only on the person andcharacter of a person. There are situations in which almost every one of us becomes uncomfortable. This affects our entire behavior, including communication with other people. In this case, the barrier is the situation that caused discomfort, and its features. Once in such circumstances, all participants of communication feel uncomfortable. Someone realizes this in greater, and someone - in a lesser degree. At the same time they do not just feel it - accidentally or specially they interfere with each other to satisfy their desires and achieve the goals of communication. As a result, everyone experiences, gets angry, does not understand each other and generally strains. Most often this happens in situations of restriction, denial, accusation and insult (which, in general, is not surprising). On the one hand, collective memory affects. Mankind in general and the inhabitants of Russia in particular have repeatedly experienced repression, repression, war, famine. Therefore, insults, accusations, restrictions and refusals are very clearly imprinted in the minds of people who subsequently apply them more and more often to solve conflicts, overcome obstacles, gain power and even search for happiness. This becomes a typical way of responding to a whole people, if to speak globally. On the other hand, the presence of such negative memory becomes unnecessary, when we have so richly represented the culture of aggression. Probably, each of you will agree with the fact that in the modern society of aggression much attention is paid. This is especially true for all kinds of media - television, newspapers, magazines, the Internet, advertising companies. The culture of aggression is also gaining popularity due to some peculiarities of our life: overpopulation of schools, hospitals and prisons, high unemployment, low skills of people working with the population, low salaries and lack of career prospects, corruption, poor quality of government work and much more. you know firsthand. You all face this and know that these situations are always fraught with barriers in communication.
How to understand that a barrier has appeared in communication?
Of course, being inside the situation, do itnot difficult. In the process of difficult communication, you experience discomfort, distrust of a partner, you can not open up, show emotions, you do not know what to say - in general, such communication can not be called easy. However, if you need to assess the presence of psychological barriers, then it will be very useful to know how people behave in a situation of difficult communication. In the role of such an external indicator is our nonverbalty. Especially evident in it are hostility, a craving for power and domination, insincerity and the desire to stand out. As we already mentioned above, our unfortunate subject can experience all this range of feelings and desires. In what specific signs are all its negative features manifested?
Of course, a person experiencing difficulties incommunication, does not always behave in this way. These are only the most typical and bright markers, and one can conclude from them not only that there are barriers in the interaction, but also about the interlocutors themselves - about their relationship to each other and about their goals and orientations in communication.
How to overcome difficulties in communication?
So, we went on to the most interesting - howstep over the psychological barriers. Difficulties in communication - a tricky thing, but they can be overcome. "How?" You ask. And we will tell you about some ways and methods of overcoming barriers in communication. Watch your appearance. This does not mean that you should always look like a movie star on the carpet. On the contrary, in many situations this will be pretentious and unnatural. Your appearance should be sympathetic. This is facilitated by accuracy, neatness and the ability to wear those things that you really go. The manner of communication should correspond to the situation and people. Agree, it will be a bad move, if at the disco you will communicate with all restrained and strict, and in negotiations - fun and without distance. Take into account the characteristics of the interlocutor: his age, sex, education, character and views. For example, it is not worthwhile to wear a short skirt for a meeting with a Muslim. Try to stand in the place of a communication partner and try to understand his point of view. As you already probably understand, we all differ from each other. The same things have completely different meanings for us, and we also understand them in different ways. Hence, most barriers follow. The most correct way to solve such problems is to allow another to be different and different from you, and also to try to understand his position, even if you do not agree with her. Train empathy and sensitivity. This, accordingly, the ability to empathize with other people and feel what is happening to them before the smallest changes in the state. Two of these features are the key to success in communication. Do not expect from partners what they can not give you. So you just cause resentment in yourself and blame the other for what they did not give you. Try to want from partners real things that are appropriate to their characteristics, and tell them about their expectations. Do not try to fully meet the expectations of the partner. Firstly, it's boring, and secondly, it's very hard, and it's impossible to exist for long. It is better to be natural to the maximum, but taking into account the interlocutor and social norms. Watch your words. Your messages should be logically linked, contain interesting information to the interlocutor and be based on something common - for example, a common understanding of the meaning of words or some minimal shared memory. Your speech should be understandable to the interlocutor both in the literal sense, and in the sense of matching his outlook. Be open and honest about your thoughts, feelings and expectations. If you are asked for something, and you are already confident in your refusal - it is better to voice it right away. So neither you nor the interlocutor will lose time and resources. Receiving a "look from the outside." Sometimes, in order to understand something (for example, to realize what specifically hampers your communication with a partner), you need to look at the situation from the outside, describe it in abstract words without introducing your emotions and personal characteristics. Respect your partner. Even if he annoys you incredibly, try to show imagination and find something that will cause you to respect him. It can be some kind of trifle, for example, his manner of singling out individual words with intonation. Or something more serious - for example, a very rude person in communication, who at the same time spends half his income for charity. In any person, you can find something good and worthy of respect, and if this does not work, then it is worth thinking about - is this communication you really need? Unfortunately, there is no such thing in life that you can only communicate with pleasant people without barriers. As a rule, we all somehow find ourselves in situations when these difficulties arise. The task before you at this moment is to feel the barrier, determine its appearance and apply the method that most effectively removes it. Be calm, confident, tolerant of the weaknesses of others and try not to get into conflict situations! We advise you to read: