A confident woman is self-sufficient, she is nothides from problems, but decides them. A confident woman looks truth in the face, she does not need to raise her voice to put someone in their place. A confident woman does not seek praise and acknowledgment of her dignity, but she skillfully attributes her shortcomings to them.

A little psychology

Why do some go through life with proudly raisedhead, and the other even to lift the eyes off the ground is difficult? In psychology, there is the concept of "self-esteem." This is how a person evaluates himself from a professional, intellectual, sexual, attractive side. Out of the sum of these self-evaluations, self-esteem and self-respect are formed as a person. The owner of high self-esteem is a self-assured person, low - insecure. If it is overstated, then we call such a person self-confident. Our psychological comfort directly depends on our self-esteem. You can change your life beyond recognition, gaining confidence, but how to do it if you are shy of your own shadow. What is a confident person! How to develop self-confidence? According to psychologists, self-confidence is a special case of confidence. Self-confidence is the ability and ability to control yourself and your fears. Psychologist Joze Volpe, observing his patients, described in detail all the inherent fears: fear of rejection, fear of falling into new situations, fear of being in the center of attention, fear of being criticized, fear of inability to refuse, fear of appearing inferior. The development of all these fears can lead to a serious psychological illness. All these fears are in the psyche of any woman, but some are able to fight them, while in others they become the dominant behavior. Their development leads to the fact that girls constantly feel guilt and shame, become inactive and, in the end, they do not trust even themselves and their feelings. Why is this happening? We all from early childhood inspire our children that they are the most intelligent, the most daring, the most beautiful and the most talented. We try to develop their self-esteem. Children grow up and begin their independent life. Some of them are: love, friends, work. Others, on the contrary, can not find themselves in life in any way, they are afraid to get acquainted with new people, to look for an interesting high-paying job, to believe in love. How to help them, is there such a pill that can make a person self-confident? Psychologists agree in one: there is no such pill for fear and there is no such powder to be sure and self-sufficient. I'm sure you can help! We must do this ourselves, the main thing is to want and move in the right direction, without fear of doing what is most afraid of. Let's start right now. We will act decisively, not looking back, even if very scary.

Create a diary

Most girls in their childhood kept diaries, wherethey wrote down what they considered the most important for themselves. So we will have a notebook that will help us cope with uncertainty and indecision. Daily write down all your successful cases there, even the most insignificant ones: a delicious borsch has turned out, you have visited a dentist. At a time when uncertainty rolls like a snow avalanche, take and read your notes - this will help necessarily. And do not forget to praise yourself for everything that you do. Praise always increases its self-esteem. If during the day you had an unpleasant situation and you could not get out of it with dignity, try in a calm environment to rethink it and re-play with a positive end. For example: you were rudely treated, and you were tormented by this problem for the rest of the day. Stop, take the notebook and write, how would behave in this situation, your self-confident friend. Next time in a similar situation you will have some kind of preparation for an exit from this problem. Gradually, these blanks will be more and more, and then a day will come when you no longer need to look in your notes, you will learn to solve this problem immediately.

Find a positive

Try to find in a negative incident yourpositive sides. Lost in the subway gloves - do not scold yourself. Tell me that we have long wanted to buy new ones, but these have already gone out of fashion. In the hairdresser did too short a haircut? It does not matter, the hair will quickly grow back. Since childhood, parents have once told us that we must learn from other people's mistakes. And we will learn from other people's positive examples. The colleague talks to the boss, bravely defends his view of the problem - we take on a pencil. Learn not to be afraid to ask, ask questions, if you do not understand something, have your own opinion. It is better to feel stupid once than to suffer this feeling for the rest of your life. There is no such person who knows the answers to all the questions, then almost every person from time to time falls into a similar situation as you.

Correct Speak

In order to feel confident, you needlearn to speak correctly. I mean not only the correctness of your speech, that is, the absence of words-parasites (learn to fill them with "silence"), but the use of specific words. The sentence must always begin with the pronoun "I". I want to see, I want to go, I need it ... And it will not be superfluous to use verbs in the imperative mood. Show me, tell me, bring it. Your speech should be emotional, so do not be shy, learn to talk about your feelings clearly, without hints. Do not be afraid to say the word "no" if you do not want to do something or do not like something. Humor plays a huge role in our life. A person is almost impossible to offend and disbalance if he has a sense of humor. As the great Beaumarchais said: "If I did not laugh at everything, I would have to cry all the time." So, if you learn to laugh at all the negative manifestations of life, then you will feel more confident.

Relation to appearance

Well, the most important aspect, which is undoubtedlyincrease your self-esteem and self-confidence - this is your appearance. Once you choose the right hairstyle, buy a fashionable, well-made thing that will go to you, look in the mirror and say: "Good devil!". Confidence does not take long to wait - you are on the right track. But I want to warn you that no beautiful dress will protect you from a boor, and for this you need to do everything that is said in this article. And in conclusion a few short-term everyday advice. First, pick up an encouraging slogan. Many ladies can be helped by a phrase chosen for themselves, repeated every day several times. For example, "I can do everything, I will succeed". And yet - in order to stop being embarrassed and to be in the center of attention, you must first learn how to get up in the center of the free space, and not somewhere off the edge. Then in a short time you will not only be interested, but you will become the soul of the company. Dear girls, when you get rid of false ideas about yourself, your life will change. A self-sufficient woman is a confident woman. This is for your men, your children and first of all for yourself! Own significance, the feeling of it is much more important than any ambition.

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