The creation and preservation of the family requires labor,patience, compromise, wisdom, and from both partners. Not all these endeavors end up with a happy end: they lived happily ever after. It happens that both spouses surrendered and came to a divorce, or one of them became the initiator of the rupture of relations. In any case, the divorce is associated with stress, feelings and can cause serious psychological trauma. Experts believe that women suffer a divorce painful. After all, they are by nature more emotional than men, their experiences are usually deeper and more intense. And despite the impressive number of theories and slogans about gender equality, our world still belongs to men. Firstly, it is the woman who is supposed to be married, otherwise it's embarrassing, difficult, late, wrong - is not it enough what else. Secondly, it is not so easy to find a high-paying job, and such work among the typically male professions is almost nonsense. When divorcing a woman may face legal insecurity or the fact that laws in practice do not always work. Examples and reasons are many. But all this does not mean that you need to despair and fall into despair. The question of how to survive a divorce from a husband is complicated, but there are answers to it. Before thinking about the soul, it is worth starting with the material. Namely on what means to live further? When this issue is not solved, all other emotional aspects are much more difficult to experience. Often married a woman does not work and does not have her own income, or works, but receives negligible. In such situations, you need to gather and find a new source of income. Do not count too much on alimony, because anything can happen. Let's better it will be a pleasant bonus. And rely always on your own. Divorce - there is a divorce, it is difficult to predict the partner's behavior, it happens as in war. The search for work can take some time - it is advisable to start in advance. For greater probability of success, use all methods: the labor exchange, the Internet, friends, acquaintances, social networks (not only as a boast on Facebook, even if it serves the cause). The second, also very important point - where to live? Who will get a common apartment (and any other property) after the divorce. How to divide the property, how to stay in the win? With these questions, it is best to contact a lawyer and preferably in advance. If you are the initiator of a divorce, there is a time, if not, then do not hesitate to contact and do not pull. There is where and what to live on, but not yet felt better. Everything is sure to get better, you need time, patience and a little work.
Many are afraid of psychologists, consider therapya waste of time, a pumping out of money. Some think that only people with a diagnosis are treated by psychologists and a trip to the doctor can compromise. In fact, this is all nonsense. Just think, if a person has a sore leg, he turns to a specialist - a surgeon, an orthopedist. So why can not we address our spiritual problem to a specialist "like". Do your friends give more competent advice, and it will be 100% beneficial? If the financial situation allows (although the cost of the sessions is not sky-high, but they still have to be paid for), contact a specialist. It is very important to be sure that a truly competent and professional psychologist is found.
Girlfriends, alcohol, tears
In a divorce situation, many women turn toold tried and tested method - to cry to girlfriends under a bottle of something alcoholic. No matter how psychologists evaluate this method - someone thinks that it is necessary to release steam, someone that this will only intensify the experience - it will be tested. In fact, there is nothing wrong with sharing your pain with friends. Especially in the early stages of this difficult period. But you need to know the measure. We talked, we cried for a month or two, and enough. Firstly, only true friends are ready to withstand complaints and listen attentively to grief, but they also have a limit of patience. Secondly, a constant return to the past and grinding offenses can interfere with the movement toward the future and a new life. It is necessary to forgive, live your offense and let go, opening the door to something else. And it is especially necessary to behave with alcohol. Once or twice - excusable as an anesthetic, but in a reliable company. Alcohol and despair are bad allies, how many stupid things can be done in this state. Do not drink alone. The problem will not be solved, but the poor state of health and the risk of getting alcoholism are real.
Even Dale Carnegie said that in order toeasier to endure suffering, you need to constantly be busy. And by the way, as a successful example was given the case of a woman who lost her child. What, you will agree, does not go into any comparison with divorce. So, we occupy our hands and head as much as possible. You can do anything, if only the thought of divorce was smaller. But it's smarter to do it with profit. For example, you can hit the job - and the increase is not long.
It would be ideal to enroll in the gym, on thegroup classes aerobics or fitness, yoga. The main thing that was pleasant. This will give a lot of advantages. The maximum employment has already been said - the benefits are obvious. It is also possible to put your body in order. This will not only improve your health, but also add confidence to yourself. In addition, it is proved that during the exercise of sports in the human body a hormone of happiness is allocated. What you need after the divorce! If there is no possibility to visit sports sections, take for yourself the rule every day to make walks in the fresh air. Even the most gloomy mood becomes lighter after you breathe the air and look at the sun.
Most of the masterpieces of literature, poetry and evenscience created in the period of mental suffering. Perhaps you should remember what dream you wanted to make? you all your life like to draw, play the guitar, write poetry? Maybe it's time to try, learn your own talents and open new horizons for development? By the way, do not forget about art therapy (psychotherapy with the help of art). In moments of special sadness and emotions, it will not hurt to throw out the entire negative on a piece of paper or canvas. And it is not necessary to get involved with something so sublime. For example, it would be nice to learn a foreign language. Exciting, additional communication, plus to resume.
Fight fire with fire
Always after a heavy parting there is a temptationrush into the embrace of a new passion. Psychologists are of the opinion that this should not be done. Without letting go of past love and not having experienced loss, it is difficult to build new long-term relationships. Even if you are tuning to a short-lived romance, you can get into the network of your own wrong decisions - not to fall in love with the one who really approaches, to wound the wound, comparing the new passion with the old husband, etc. There is a risk that the emotional state will get worse. And if in addition to think about the feelings of another person - suddenly he is not tuned to an easy affair? However, there are exceptions to the rules. It can also happen that a new love will not only help to overcome the bitterness of broken hopes, but will also be the beginning of a strong union. Therefore, it is worthwhile to be vigilant, but do not forget to listen to your own heart.
No self-pity for me
You can regret yourself, but only a little bit, in the verythe beginning of a break with the spouse. But this bad habit can also take root. After all, it is much easier to do nothing, to languish with self-pity, consoling with sweet, cigarettes, alcohol, than working on your body and emotions. It's a simple, but destructive way. It will only lead to a worsening of mood, as well as problems with health, figure and complexion. Experiencing a divorce is not easy, but you are already on the path of new discoveries and impressions. Think only, soon negative emotions will go away, and you will discover the real freedom of a new life!