How to forget the man you love: 8 steps to healing

Loving someone who is completely indifferent to youIs not this the greatest grief for a woman? There are different situations: someone initially does not feel a reciprocal feeling for a person who loves him, someone thought that he also loved, but love faded, and someone did not even know anything about the warm feelings that someone felt for them to him, and he fell in love with a completely different person ... Anyway, the love of someone who is completely indifferent to you is the most hopeless feeling in the world, because the love of another person is not at all something that you could control and somehow influence this. But stop loving and throwing it out of your heart is exactly what you need to do to start the healing process. It's not your fault that you love, but you do not; and the only thing left for you to do is move on and try to free your heart for another, mutual and happy love. And although it may seem impossible now, we will help you understand how to forget the man you love with all your heart, if he does not experience reciprocal love.

Stop loving and forget: eight steps to deliverance from unhappy love

So, have you decided? Do you want to stop loving and forget the man who does not love you? Then you should proceed as follows:

Be honest with yourself. If you see thata man does not love you, then do not try to prolong the relationship. Sooner or later he will tear them apart anyway, so it's better to do it first. So at least you will not feel abandoned; and this would only add to your suffering, because to unfortunate unrequited love would have added more and wounded self-esteem. Try to admit to yourself that your relationship is completely unpromising. And the longer this person is near you, the more you will sink into your love and longing for it. Accordingly, the more painful it will be to tear your relationship after all - after all, you literally skin to it grow! Nothing that you will be painful to realize all this, feel this pain. Allow yourself to grieve. Grief is the beginning of the healing process.

Concentrate on negative character traitsor the appearance of his beloved Yes, we are serious, he also has shortcomings! Falling in love makes you so blind that you will ignore anything that might not like the objective person, from small errors in behavior to the most significant character deficiencies. Although you do not need to start a "crusade" (and hardly you will do it!) to mentally turn a person to whom you treat with special warmth, literally into a monster, but still now it's time to open your eyes to some negative qualities in order to balance its positive features. And then you have it really holy! Is it possible to stop loving such an ideal person? No! Therefore, start actively looking for and noticing all its shortcomings. Maybe he always interrupts everyone, or tastes badly, ruffles the staff at your favorite cafe, listens to horrible music, shows complete disrespect to your system of values, or, finally, he always has damp and sticky hands - is not that disgusting? !! Collect in your "piggy bank" as much as possible unpleasant emotions in relation to his man. Write it all down. Make a list as long as you have something to come to mind, trying to get to the light of God all the inside of his beloved. Such actions will help to kill your idealized vision of the man that you owned until now. Learn to look at it critically. Accept the fact that this person will never tell you sincerely his "love". Is it too hard to realize this? All the better! The more you become aware of this fact, the more it will help to kill any false hopes that live in your heart, and the easier it will be to stop loving this man.

Get rid of all his gifts and anysouvenirs that could remind you of a joint pastime. Do you have a whole collection of movie tickets where you went together, napkins from a cafe where you once went to sit, yellow leaves from his favorite park and so on? And yet this teddy bear, which he gave for his birthday? And the whole kilometers of your correspondence in the electronic mail box? Well, get rid of all this in one way or another! Release in your life a place for a new relationship. Think about it: if you sit and sigh over photos of an ex-lover, how can you forget and stop loving it? Going through memorabilia, you will again and again recall those or other events associated with your unhappy love. But you need to get rid of this captivity of memories! Therefore, collect all these things, and then throw something away, give something to those people with whom you never cross in everyday life (for example, take a teddy bear to a children's hospital and give it to a game room or to some kid, and give the clothes to the organization that collects things for the poor). So you remove from your eyes everything that may at least somehow be associated with your ex-man.

Avoid situations that willsupport the smoldering of coals of memory about your beloved If you are listening to some music or song, you have an association with it, stop including this music. If in some places you are more likely to meet with an ex-man, then stop appearing there. If you have common friends, in a period of emotional healing try to communicate with those people who do not know anything about him. If you can not avoid meeting and still continue to "intersect" with him (for example, you study or work together), then try to completely stop contacting this person. Listen in the headphones music, for example, not to hear the sound of his voice, dine somewhere in another place, go to work or study on new routes. Try not to create the prerequisites for the outbreak of new emotions, because they will only delay your healing from unrequited love.

Find ways to take care of yourself and your mind,so as not to allow thoughts and memories in your head that can disturb you. You can not force yourself not to think at all, so just engage your brain with thoughts about something else. Call a friend and chat about something that does not touch your feelings for the man you are trying to forget. Read an interesting book. Look at a good film, necessarily gay (melodrama only disturbs your own feelings). Work in the garden or take a walk in the park. Start to learn a foreign language. Do whatever you like, just to take your brain and not give yourself sadness! The less you think about this person, the easier it will be for you. And in any case, do not tell yourself and others: "I can not live without it," "I love this person more than I could love someone else", "I can not love anyone else", "No no one is better than this man. " You must understand that all feelings change over time; will change and your attitude towards a man who does not love you.

Take your first steps beyond your zonecomfort Studies of psychologists show: in order to break old habits and replace them with new ones, it is necessary to do something new. For example, you can go on vacation or even just start to go to work on another, hitherto unfamiliar route. If you can not afford to make any major changes in your life, then start simply with daily small changes. Visit that part of your city where you have never been before. Go with your friends to a new cafe. Sign up for an interest club and make new acquaintances and new friends. Come up with a new hobby. The possibilities are endless!

How long have you been in love with this man? Months, years? And you did not think about the fact that during this time there was not once a chance for the emergence of other, more happy relationships? But you did not see these opportunities, because you were blinded by your love. Remember that your true love is still waiting for you. Do not be inaccessible to her the moment she is near!

Go back to normal life Meet theother men, flirt with them, and feel how great it is when men show interest in you! This will give impetus to your self-confidence. And you will give yourself a chance to get acquainted with the man who will appreciate you and will give you mutual love. Just be careful flirting. Although light, not burdened by any obligations relationship - it is now "what the doctor prescribed", yet you should do this if you are emotionally ready for it, and at the same time are honest with yourself and understand that it is the lungs and to nothing non-binding relationship. And again: you must be honest with a man; he should know that this is just a game for you, and you are not expecting anything serious from this relationship. Do not make this person once feel unhappy from unrequited love, as it was with you.

Do not be ashamed of what you loved, but did not saverelations. In some cases it can be very difficult to stop loving, it even seems impossible to imagine how to forget the man you love. But there is nothing wrong or shameful in this. Love for another person is a beautiful, selfless feeling, even if this love is unrequited. Over time, the pain will decrease, you can even become interested in a completely different man, and then a new love will awake in you. If there is something that can improve this world, then this is love. Remember that you will have a wonderful future if you can free yourself from your past! We advise you to read: