Creating and maintaining a family requires work,patience, compromise, wisdom, and from both partners. Not always all these efforts end with a happy ending "they lived happily ever after." It happens that both spouses give in and come to a divorce, or one of them initiates the breakup. In any case, divorce is associated with stress, worries and can cause serious psychological trauma. Experts believe that women experience divorce more painfully. After all, they are naturally more emotional than men, their experiences are usually deeper and more intense. And despite the impressive number of theories and slogans about gender equality, our world still belongs to men. Firstly, it is the woman who is supposed to be married, otherwise it is shameful, difficult, late, wrong - who knows what else. Secondly, it is not so easy to find a highly paid job, and such a job among typically male professions is almost nonsense. During a divorce, a woman may face legal insecurity or the fact that laws do not always work in practice. There are many examples and reasons. But all this does not mean that you need to despair and become despondent. The question of how to survive a divorce from your husband is difficult, but there are answers to it. Before thinking about the soul, it is worth starting with the material. Namely, what means to live on? When this issue is not resolved, all other emotional aspects are much more difficult to experience. Often in marriage, a woman does not work and does not have her own income, or works, but earns negligible. In such situations, you need to pull yourself together and find a new source of income. You should not count too much on alimony, because anything can happen. Let it be a pleasant bonus. And it is always safer to rely on your own strength. Divorce is divorce, it is difficult to predict the behavior of a partner, it can be like a war. Job searches can take some time - it is advisable to start in advance. For a greater chance of success, use all methods: the labor exchange, the Internet, friends, acquaintances, social networks (not just to brag about your vacation on Facebook, let it also serve the cause). The second, also very important point - where to live? Who will get the shared apartment (and any other property) after the divorce. How to divide the property, how to remain in profit? It is best to contact a lawyer with these questions, preferably in advance. If you are the initiator of the divorce, there is time, if not - still contact and do not delay. There is a place and money to live, but it has not yet become easier. Everything will definitely get better, it takes time, patience and a little work.

Professional help

Many people are afraid of psychologists and consider therapya waste of time, a money grab. Some people think that only people with a diagnosis go to psychologists and that going to the doctor can compromise them. In fact, this is all nonsense. Just think, if a person has a sore leg, he goes to a specialist - a surgeon, an orthopedist. So why can't we go to a specialist "like us" with our mental problem? Will our friends really give more competent advice, and will it be 100% beneficial? If your financial situation allows (even if the cost of sessions is not exorbitant, you still have to pay for them), go to a specialist. It is very important to be sure that you have found a truly competent and professional psychologist.

Girlfriends, alcohol, tears

In a divorce situation, many women turn toan old tried and tested method - to cry to friends over a bottle of something alcoholic. No matter how psychologists evaluate this method - some believe that it is necessary to let off steam, others that it will only intensify the experience - it will be tried. In fact, there is nothing wrong with sharing your pain with friends. Especially in the early stages of this difficult period. But you need to know when to stop. Talk, cry for a month or two and that's enough. Firstly, only true friends are ready to withstand complaints and listen attentively to grievances, but they also have a limit to their patience. Secondly, constantly returning to the past and rubbing out grievances can hinder movement towards the future and a new life. You need to forgive, live through your grievance and let go, opening the door to something else. And you need to be especially careful with alcohol. Once or twice - forgivable as a painkiller, but in reliable company. Alcohol and despair are bad allies, how many stupid things can be done in such a state. You should not drink alone. The problem will not be solved, but poor health and the risk of developing alcoholism are quite real.

Maximize yourself

Dale Carnegie also said that in order toIt is easier to survive suffering, you need to be constantly busy. And by the way, as a successful example, the case of one woman who lost her child was cited. Which, you must admit, is in no way comparable to divorce. So, keep your hands and head busy as much as possible. You can do anything, as long as there are fewer thoughts about divorce. However, it is smarter to do it usefully. For example, you can throw yourself into work - and it will not take long to achieve a promotion.

Physical exercise

It would be ideal to sign up for a gym,group aerobics or fitness classes, yoga. The main thing is to like it. This will give many advantages. Maximum employment has already been said - the benefits are obvious. There is also an opportunity to get your body in order. This will not only improve your well-being, but also add self-confidence. In addition, it has been proven that during sports, the hormone of happiness is released in the human body. What you need after a divorce! If you cannot attend sports sections, make it a rule to take a walk in the fresh air every day. Even the most gloomy mood becomes brighter after you breathe fresh air and look at the sun.

New Horizons

Most of the masterpieces of literature, poetry and evensciences were created during periods of mental suffering. Perhaps it is worth remembering what dream you wanted to realize? Have you always wanted to draw, play the guitar, write poetry? Perhaps it is time to try, find out your own talents and open new horizons for development? By the way, do not forget about art therapy (psychotherapy with the help of art). In moments of particular sadness and worries, it would not hurt to splash out all the negativity on a piece of paper or canvas. And it is not at all necessary to be carried away by something so sublime. For example, it would be nice to learn a foreign language. It is fascinating, additional communication, a plus to the resume.

Fight fire with fire

There is always temptation after a difficult breakupthrow yourself into the arms of a new passion. Psychologists are of the opinion that you shouldn't do this. Without letting go of your old love and without experiencing the loss, it is difficult to build a new long-term relationship. Even if you are preparing for a short-term romance, you can fall into the net of your own wrong decisions - fall in love with someone who is not really suitable, reopen the wound, comparing your new passion with your former husband, etc. There is a risk that your emotional state will become even worse. And if you also think about the feelings of another person - what if he is not in the mood for a light affair? However, there are exceptions to the rule. It may also happen that a new love will not only help you survive the bitterness of broken hopes, but will also become the beginning of a strong union. Therefore, you should be vigilant, but also do not forget to listen to your own heart.

No self-pity for me

You can feel sorry for yourself, but only a little bit.at the very beginning of a breakup with your spouse. But this bad habit can take root. After all, it is much easier to do nothing, to languish in self-pity, consoling yourself with sweets, cigarettes, alcohol, than to work on your body and emotions. This is a simple but destructive path. It will only lead to a worsening of your mood, as well as problems with your health, figure and complexion. Going through a divorce is not easy, but you are already on the path to new discoveries and impressions. Just think, soon the negative emotions will go away, and the real freedom of a new life will open up to you!

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