It is well known that the family is the unit of society.everyone from childhood. There is even a whole science called the psychology of family relationships. Of course, it is impossible to disclose it in detail within the framework of one article, but we will try to at least lift the curtain of this secret. After all, any person wants love and mutual understanding to reign in his family. And this requires real hard work. And first of all - work on yourself, because you can’t demand from loved ones what you don’t do yourself.
Family functions
Family really does play a very important role.in the life of any person, and indeed of the whole society. Sociologists and family psychologists identify three main components of any prosperous family – stability, development dynamics and the performance of certain functions. And we will start the conversation with the most important thing – with the functions that a family should perform:
- Educational function
For most of us, the concept of educationis associated only with children. However, this is not true at all – after all, the educational process also concerns adults. They satisfy their need to express paternal and maternal feelings, and self-actualize in their children. And for society, this function of the family is no less important – after all, it is parents who socialize their children, thereby preparing them for life in a group.
- Household function
Every person has a certain number of householdneeds - food, clothing, housing. And the family satisfies its needs together. This function is especially important for children who cannot yet take care of themselves.
- Emotional function
Every person needs a whole range of emotions –respect, recognition, love, affection, psychological support and protection. If these feelings are absent in a person's life, his mental health may be under serious threat. And the family, as a rule, gives the opportunity to receive all these emotions. Of course, we are talking about a full-fledged prosperous family. It is hardly possible to talk about any understanding, support and mutual respect in a family where one of the members abuses alcohol or simply shows aggression.
- Spiritual function
In addition, the family satisfies suchpsychological needs of family members, such as spending time together, leisure, learning new things, etc. This is also very important. Don't believe me? Just look at a family going somewhere together. The contented smiles of mom and dad, the delighted faces of the children - isn't that happiness?
- Monitoring function
Control is a very important function thatis performed by any family. And it doesn't matter what kind of control it is. It could be control over the child's learning process or over the health of a family member.
- Sexual function
The sexual function includes a lotconcepts. This includes sexual education of children and satisfaction of sexual needs of men and women. There is probably no need to talk about how important sexual education is for the proper development of a child – everyone understands this perfectly well. And who can do this better than parents? And sexual contacts between husband and wife allow you to avoid a very large number of problems and troubles. Of course, we have talked about the functions that are possible in principle. However, in each family, variations are possible in one direction or another. Some functions may weaken or be completely lost, while others, on the contrary, come to the fore. For example, recently, the emotional, educational and sexual functions have become increasingly important. Moreover, even within one family, the balance of functions can fluctuate greatly, shifting first in one direction, then in another. Fortunately, in the modern world, the household function is not as acute as before – there is no longer a need to hunt mammoths. And a woman in modern society is quite capable of providing a decent lifestyle not only for herself, but also for her children. That is why marriage is most often based on emotional and spiritual functions.
What is needed for happiness?
It would seem that everything is quite simple and clear. So why are there so many unhappy families around? What prevents them from living happily ever after? Family psychologists name the following components of happiness:
- Surrender
It is extremely important to be able to hear not only yourself, but alsoother members of your family - to understand them, to treat their interests, tastes, and desires with due attention. Only in conditions of such psychological harmony can you create a full-fledged family.
- Full communication
Of course, the modern pace of life is oftencommunication leaves very little time. But still try to devote time to communication with your other half, children. After all, you can talk while doing household chores and at dinner. By the way, very often families in a crisis situation receive advice from a family psychologist to make it a rule to have dinner together at least several times a week.
- Confidence
Another one of the foundation stones of a happy family isthis is trust. In principle, without trust there will be practically nothing - no sympathy, no mutual respect, and especially no love. An example of this is the huge number of families in which trust disappears, and the relationship goes downhill.
- Complete intimate life
Whatever the hypocrites say, but, no matter how you look at it, withoutIt is simply impossible to imagine a family with a normal intimate life. Of course, we are not talking about situations in which problems in intimate life are somehow connected with the health of one of the spouses. In all other cases, it is worth overcoming embarrassment and seeking help from a doctor - a sexologist. If, of course, your family is dear to you and you want to save it.
- Presence of Home
And it is precisely the House with a capital letter.No, no, we are not talking about a luxurious house or apartment in the city center. It could be a modest one-room rented apartment somewhere on the outskirts. But family members should feel cozy and comfortable. They should know that when they cross the threshold of the apartment, they find themselves in their own cozy little world, where they will be understood and supported, no matter what happens. In a word, "my home is my castle."
Life values
In order for a family to be happy and strong, ideally it is desirable that the life values of the spouses coincide as much as possible. Today, psychologists highlight the following basic values:
- Mutual understanding between all members of the family.
- Presence of children.
- Material well-being.
- Separate own housing.
- Confidence in the future.
- Interesting and beloved work.
And one more very curious fact -Numerous sociological studies have shown that men are more practical than women. For them, such values as a separate apartment, material well-being and interesting work come first. And only after that come mutual understanding between spouses and children. Women are more selfless and emotional creatures. The most important things for them are mutual understanding with a spouse and children, and only then an apartment and material well-being. Dear ladies, do not be offended by your men for this! After all, they have always been the breadwinners and providers of the family. That is precisely why they have become more practical. But in order to balance all this, there are us - the keepers of the hearth. While the relationship between a man and a woman is at the "honeymoon" stage, life in most cases is quite cloudless. However, after a year of living together, some difficulties most often begin. About 40% of all married couples claim that their attitude towards their life partner becomes more demanding and strict. Very little time passes and the first wave of falling in love passes. Spouses look at each other with a more intent and critical gaze. In all cases, even the most ideal ones, a certain degree of disappointment sets in. Moreover, as the psychology of family relationships asserts, the stronger the degree of love was, the deeper the degree of disappointment will be. However, do not despair - this is a completely normal and natural process that no married couple will bypass. The main thing is to understand what is happening and to show wisdom and endurance. As a rule, most families quite successfully overcome this first crisis of family life.
Stages of the Family
Family psychologists distinguish several stagesformation of an average family. Of course, this is very average information, since there are many individual characteristics, for example, the age of the spouses, the presence of negative relationship experience, children from a previous marriage.
Family Species
All of the above is true in relation totraditional, familiar to all of us, family model. But time passes, people and morals change. Today, there are many forms of relationships between men and women that call themselves family. Of course, in fact, it is very difficult to call these relationships family, but it is still worth knowing about their existence. At least for general development. So:
- Traditional marriage
Traditional marriage is exactly the form that is calledfamilies that people have become accustomed to over many years. In this form of family, the needs of children, their upbringing process and rights come to the fore. For spouses, this form of marriage is the most conservative - the maximum number of all kinds of prohibitions.
- Civil marriage
Supporters of civil - unregisteredofficially – marriage claim that it differs from a traditional family only by the absence of a stamp in the passport. Opponents, on the contrary, claim that a civil marriage differs from ordinary, non-binding relationships only by living in a common living space. However, strictly speaking, everything depends on each individual person and the seriousness of their intentions. In recent decades, this form of marriage has become increasingly popular. Incidentally, not long ago the authorities made a decision and amended the legislation. Persons living in a civil marriage for more than a year, if there are witnesses that they ran a common household, are granted all the same rights and obligations as spouses who have officially registered their marriage.
- Periodically interrupted marriage
In this case, the spouses spend most of their timetogether, but they consider it acceptable to periodically move away and live independently and separately from each other. And this is not always due to a quarrel. Sometimes people just want to take a break from each other. For such families, such a way of life is absolutely normal.
- Family meeting
As a rule, these are people who are officiallywho have registered their marriage but live separately due to various circumstances. This may be work or study in another city, or it may simply be a mutual desire. Most often, the wife periodically visits her husband, cooks food for him, and does housework. The mother is also mainly responsible for raising children. However, sometimes it is the other way around.
- Muslim family
A Muslim family is no different fromtraditional. Almost nothing, except that a man is allowed to have several wives. And, of course, women's rights are infringed to the maximum. However, in recent years, even Muslim countries have gradually begun to abandon polygamy in favor of monogamy.
- Swedish family
For the mentality of our people such a concept asSwedish family, is still difficult to understand. However, in some countries this form of family is very widespread. It would be a mistake to think that such people living in a Swedish family are connected only by sex. As a rule, such a family is its own small and friendly world, full of friendship, mutual understanding and trust. However, for raising children, of course, this form of family is not the best.
- Free family
Free - or as it is often called,An open family is a family where the spouses have no restrictions regarding intimate relationships outside the family. Sometimes this decision is public, sometimes not. But the fact remains. Of course, the psychology of family relationships is a much broader concept. But we have told you only about the basics. And this was not done by chance - it is stupid to start studying higher mathematics without knowing the simplest arithmetic, isn't it? We wish you that all the knowledge you gain will only benefit your family - we hope, strong and friendly. We advise you to read:
