The fact that a family is a unit of society is knownall from the very childhood. There is even a whole science, called the psychology of family relations. Of course, it is impossible to disclose it in detail within the framework of one article, but we will try at least to open the veil of this mystery. After all, any person wants to have love and understanding in his family. And this requires the most real hard work. And first of all - work on yourself, because you can not demand from close people of what you do not do yourself.
The family plays an extremely important role inlife of any person, and the whole society as a whole. Sociologists and family psychologists distinguish three main components of any prosperous family - stability, dynamics of development and performance of certain functions. And we will begin the conversation with the most important thing - with the functions that the family must perform:
- Educational function
For most of us, the concept of upbringingis associated only with children. However, this is not at all the case - after all, the educational process concerns adults. They satisfy their need for the expression of paternal and maternal feelings, self-fulfilling in their children. And for society, this function of the family is no less important, because it is parents who socialize their children, thereby preparing them for life in the team.
- Household function
Every person has a certain number of householdneeds - in food, clothing, housing. And the family together meets their needs. This function is especially important for children who can not take care of themselves.
- Emotional function
Everyone needs a whole range of emotions -respect, recognition, love, affection, psychological support and protection. If these feelings are absent in a person's life, his mental health can be seriously threatened. And the family, as a rule, gives an opportunity to get all these emotions. Of course, we are talking about a full-fledged happy family. It is hardly possible to talk about some kind of understanding, support and mutual respect in the family, where one of the members abuses alcohol, or simply shows aggression.
- Spiritual function
In addition, the family satisfies suchpsychological needs of family members, as a joint pastime, leisure, learning new things and so on. This is also very important. Do not believe me? And you look at the family, going together somewhere. Happy smiles dad and mom, enthusiastic faces of children - is it not happiness?
- Monitoring function
Control is a very important function thatany family. And it does not matter what kind of control. This can be a control over the learning process of the child, or over the health of a family member.
- Sexual function
Sexual function includes a lotconcepts. This is the sexual education of children, and the satisfaction of the sexual needs of men and women. Probably, it's not worth talking about how important it is for the child's correct development of sexual education - all this and so perfectly understand. And who can do this better than parents? Yes, and sexual contacts between husband and wife can avoid a very large number of problems and troubles. Of course, we talked about those functions that are possible in principle. However, in each family, variations are possible in one direction or another. Some functions may be weakened or completely lost, and some, on the contrary, come to the fore. For example, in recent years, emotional, educational and sexual function are becoming increasingly important. Moreover - and within the same family, the balance of functions can fluctuate very much, shifting in one direction or another. Fortunately, in the modern world, household function is not as acute as it used to be - there are no more mammoths to extract needs. Yes, and a woman in modern society is fully capable of providing a decent lifestyle not only for herself, but also for her children. Therefore, marriage is most often based on emotional and spiritual functions.
What is needed for happiness?
It would seem that everything is quite simple and understandable. So why are there so many unfortunate families around? What prevents their well-being? Family psychologists call the following terms of happiness:
It is extremely important to be able to hear not only yourself, but alsoother members of his family - to understand them, to treat them with due attention to their interests, tastes, desires. Only in conditions of such psychological harmony can you create a full-fledged family.
- Full communication
Of course, the modern rhythm of life is oftencommunication leaves very little time. But still try to spend time with your second half, children. After all, you can talk and while doing household chores, and at dinner. By the way, very often families who are in a crisis situation receive advice from the family psychologist to take supper for everyone at least several times a week.
Another of the stones of the foundation of a happy family -this is trust. In principle, without trust there will be practically nothing - no sympathy, no mutual respect, not even love. An example of this is the huge number of families in which trust disappears, and relations are slipping.
- Complete intimate life
Whatever the hypocrite said, but, whatever one may say, withoutnormal intimate life to imagine a family is simply impossible. Of course, we are not talking about situations in which problems in an intimate life are somehow connected with the health of one of the spouses. In all other cases, it is necessary to overcome the embarrassment and seek help from a doctor - a sex therapist. If, of course, your family is dear to you and you want to keep it.
- Presence of Home
And it is at home with a capital letter. No - no, it's not about a chic house or apartment in the city center. It can be a modest one-room rentable apartment somewhere on the outskirts. But family members should feel comfortable and comfortable. They should know that crossing the threshold of the apartment, they fall into their own cozy world, where they will be understood and supported, no matter what happens. In a word, "my house is my fortress".
In order for the family to be happy and strong, ideally it is desirable that the spouses' vital values coincide as closely as possible. To date, psychologists have identified such core values as:
- Mutual understanding between all members of the family.
- Presence of children.
- Material well-being.
- Separate own housing.
- Confidence in the future.
- Interesting and beloved work.
And another very interesting fact -Numerous sociological studies have shown that men are more practical than women. They take first place such values as a separate apartment, material well-being and interesting work. And only after this, mutual understanding between spouses and children follows. Women are creatures more selfless and emotional. For them the main thing is mutual understanding with the spouse and children, and only then the apartment and material well-being. Lovely ladies, do not be offended by this for their men! After all, they have always been the breadwinners and breadwinners of the family. That's why they became more practical. But in fact, in order to balance all this, we are the keepers of the home. While the relationship of a man and a woman are at the stage of a "candy-bouquet" period, life in most cases is quite cloudless. However, after a year of living together, some difficulties begin. Approximately 40% of all married couples say that attitudes toward the life companion become more demanding and strict. It takes quite a bit of time and the first wave of love passes. The spouses look at each other with a closer and more critical look. In all cases, even the most ideal, there is a certain degree of frustration. And, according to the psychology of family relations, the stronger the degree of love, the deeper will be the degree of disappointment. However, do not despair - this is a completely normal and natural process, which will not be missed by any married couple. The main thing is to understand what is happening and to show wisdom and endurance. As a rule, most families quite successfully pass this first crisis of family life.
Stages of the Family
Family psychologists distinguish several stagesthe formation of the average statistical family. Of course, this is a very average information, because there are so many individual characteristics, for example, the age of the spouses, the presence of negative experience of relationships, children from a previous marriage.
All of the above is true fortraditional, all of us familiar model of the family. But time flows, people and customs change. To date, there are many forms of relationships between men and women who call themselves a family. Of course, in fact these relationships are called a family is very difficult, but it is still worth knowing about their existence. At least for general development. So:
- Traditional marriage
Traditional marriage is exactly the formfamily, to which people are accustomed for many years. In this form of the family, the needs of children, their educational process and rights come to the forefront. For spouses this form of marriage is the most conservative - the maximum number of all kinds of prohibitions.
- Civil marriage
Supporters of civil - unregisteredofficially - marriage claim that it differs from the traditional family solely by the absence of a stamp in the passport. Opponents, on the other hand, argue that civil marriage is different from ordinary, non-binding relations only by living on a common living space. However, strictly speaking, everything depends on each individual and the seriousness of his intentions. In recent decades, this form of marriage has become increasingly popular. By the way, not so long ago the authorities made a decision and made changes in the legislation. Persons who have been living in a civil marriage for more than a year, if there are witnesses to the fact that they have a common household, are allotted the same rights and duties as officially registered their marriage to the spouse.
- Periodically interrupted marriage
In this case, the wife spends most of her timetogether, but consider it permissible to periodically leave and live independently and separately from each other. And not always the reason for this is a quarrel. Sometimes people just want to rest from each other. For such families, this way of life is absolutely normal.
- Family meeting
As a rule, these are people, officiallyregistered their marriage, but living by virtue of various circumstances separately. It can be work or study in another city, and maybe just a mutual desire. Most often the wife periodically visits her husband, prepares him food, does housework. The mother is also involved in raising children. However, sometimes it is the other way around.
- Muslim family
The Muslim family is no different fromtraditional. Almost nothing, except that a man is allowed to have several wives. And, of course, the rights of women are infringed as much as possible. However, in recent years, even Muslim countries have gradually begun to give up polygamy in favor of monogamy.
- Swedish family
For the mentality of our people, such a concept asSwedish family, still difficult to understand. However, in some countries this form of family is very widespread. It would be a mistake to think that only people who have sex with such people live in Swedish families. As a rule, such a family is its own small and friendly world, full of friendship, mutual understanding and trust. However, for the upbringing of children, it goes without saying that this family form is not the best.
- Free family
Free - or as it is often called,an open family is the family where the spouses have no prohibitions concerning intimate relationships outside the family. Sometimes this decision is vowel, sometimes - no. But the fact remains. Of course, the psychology of family relations is a much broader concept. But we told you only about the basics. And it was not made by chance - it's foolish to start studying higher mathematics without knowing the simplest arithmetic, is not it? We wish you that all the knowledge gained will only benefit your family - hopefully strong and united. We advise you to read: