Many of us have faced this problem,as a lack of self-confidence. Doubts, excessive self-criticism, searching for mistakes – all this prevents you from living life to the fullest. Intolerance of your own shortcomings makes you hide in a corner where you can watch more successful, liberated and happier people. Often, such representatives of the fair sex are not satisfied with their appearance or education. They doubt their ability to communicate with their superiors, clients, partners and friends. If they are praised, the girls experience mixed feelings. Sometimes it seems to them that the opponent is just mocking or joking. But even people who seem quite self-confident sometimes experience such feelings. In fact, self-esteem is like a roller coaster. Each of us has days when we feel successful and are at the peak of fame. But sometimes hours of deep depression come. And then it seems to us that our existence is useless, so nothing sensible can be done either at work or at home. After such self-hypnosis, mistakes and failures begin to haunt us. Living with such feelings is not very pleasant. It is especially hard for people who experience them constantly. Therefore, it is they who should urgently decide how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence. So, first of all, it is necessary to get rid of unpleasant thoughts and memories as quickly as possible. Say goodbye to doubts, because this is the only way to live to the fullest, without thinking about the problems that have arisen. Many probably thought, after reading these lines: “It’s easy to say, but much more difficult to do!” And they, of course, will be right! Of course, you will have to work hard on yourself. Moreover, it will take more than one week to raise your self-esteem to the desired level. But the results will definitely please you.
Why do people think badly of themselves?
The feeling of inferiority appears whenwe judge ourselves and our abilities not by our “standards” dictated by our capabilities, but by the standards of other people. Then, no matter what the girl does, she fails. As a result, she turns out to be worse than others. Over time, the loser, who has lost confidence in herself and her abilities, gets used to being only second. And every time she fails to become first, she feels that something is wrong with her. The fair sex begins to dig into her memories, looking for reasons there, comparing herself with others. She does not look at the doors and opportunities open to her, but turns back all the time. And all because we allowed ourselves to fall under the hypnosis of the false statement “I should be like someone else” or “I should be like everyone else.” Unfortunately, we are taught this in school. If you think about it, this point of view is simply absurd. But our society is multifaceted. In any group, people differ in character, behavior, abilities. What is most interesting is that each of them is unique in their own way. Therefore, there can be no general standards and frameworks. Unfortunately, often the problem of a person with an inferiority complex is aggravated by the fact that he tries to be better than himself. His feelings stem from the erroneous assumption that he is inferior to others in his qualities. And the more such a person tries to be smarter, stronger, more beautiful, the worse he feels. Often he tortures himself, bringing his body to neurosis. Try to remember once and for all: you do not have to prove anything to anyone. Let your friend dress better, your co-worker count faster, and your sister cook better. You are who you are. No better and no worse than others. Stop comparing yourself to others to gain self-confidence.
Signs of low self-esteem
Some of the girls sometimes don't even understand,что их неудачи связаны именно с собственной низкой самооценкой. Испытывая трудности в общении, такие особы даже не догадываются, что ключ к решению этих проблем надо искать в самих себе. Кстати, порой люди даже не осознают, что их поведение свидетельствует о неладах с собственным Я. Излишняя агрессия и желание доминировать Ваш начальник кричит на подчиненных, не объясняя причины? В магазине продавец просто так нахамил? Не стоит на них обижаться! Дело в том, что они пытаются за ваш счет повысить свою самооценку. Кто бы мог подумать, что человек, постоянно стремящийся испытать чувство превосходства над другими, имеет такие же проблемы. Поругавшись с вами, они вряд ли приобретут уверенность в себе. Скандал только усугубит ситуацию. В дальнейшем шеф, паспортистка или гаишник постарается довести вас до слез. К огромному сожалению, чувство собственной неполноценности и чувство собственного превосходства – это две стороны одной и той же медали. Человек, высокомерно относящийся к окружающим, легко и с удовольствием унижающий других, на самом деле в себе совершенно не уверен. Проявляя характер подобным образом, такая особа пытается хотя бы на какое-то время почувствовать себя немного лучше. То есть он, втаптывая в грязь другого, старается возвыситься сам. Чрезмерная застенчивость и постоянное смущение Застенчивость – это еще один показатель заниженной самооценки. Стеснительный человек не умеет отказывать в чем-то другим, даже если ущемляются его собственные интересы. Он не осмеливается высказывать, а уж тем более отстаивать свое мнение в спорном вопросе. Даже если такая особа знает больше остальных, она не сможет занять хорошую должность или стать лидером в коллективе. Не возвращать в магазин некачественные продукты, не просить повышения в зарплате, не ходить на прослушивания в поисках лучшей работы – такова позиция человека, который однажды уже обжегся. Такие девушки очень многое теряют в своей жизни, потому что им не хватает сил, чтобы использовать новые возможности. При этом уверенность в себе и собственных силах у обиженных на жизнь особ с каждым разом все больше падает. Научиться не бояться отстаивать свои права и поднять самооценку – задача не из простых. Желание быть лучшей во всем Перфекционизм также может быть проявлением низкой самооценки. Например, перед выходом из дома девушка может несколько часов провести перед зеркалом, пока не убедится, что выглядит идеально. Или же она пытается содержать дом в идеальном порядке. Или на работе сама старается добиться лучших показателей, требуя того же от всех сослуживцев и подчиненных. Обычно перфекционистки с трудом переносят чужие успехи, особенно если сами ничего не добились на этом же поприще. Чтобы поднять самооценку, им приходится все время соревноваться с другими. К сожалению, это чревато нервными срывами, депрессиями и постоянной злобой на мир. Ревность и собственничество Еще одно проявление неуверенности в себе – необоснованная ревность. Ревнивице кажется, что она недостаточно хороша для своего партнера. Красавица не уверена в прочности отношений, сомневается в чувствах парня или мужа. Девушка безосновательно полагает, что другие женщины лучше, чем она, поэтому боится, что вторая половинка потеряет к ней интерес. Если вовремя обратиться к специалисту, поднять самооценку такой девушке можно за несколько сеансов. Психолог поможет выяснить причину самобичевания и подскажет, как с ней лучше бороться. Существует вероятность того, что в прошлом у этой женщины были неудачные отношения, ее предавали или обманывали. Теперь же она переносит чужой образ на новых партнеров.
Why is it necessary to work on yourself?
Do you think low self-esteem isjust your own business? If you really think so, then you are very much mistaken. Your attitude towards yourself has a huge impact on how other people perceive you. After all, it is just as scary to communicate with a frightened little girl as it is with an angry, rude man. In addition, people with low self-esteem, as a rule, do not achieve their goals. Because they capitulate at the slightest sign of failure. And vice versa, people who believe in themselves and their success are not afraid of their mistakes. They use them to learn something new and increase their chances of success. Remember once and for all, self-esteem works like a magic spell. Two people can propose the same thing at a meeting. But only the one who speaks confidently, clearly and without hesitation will be heard. The one who presents his plan timidly and quietly will not even be noticed.
Raise self-esteem correctly
Unfortunately, there are no easy paths in life.You can’t raise your self-esteem without putting in some effort. Confidence isn’t sold in a store, isn’t given out at work instead of a salary, and isn’t hidden in the refrigerator at home. However, there is great news – you can get it absolutely free! All you need is the desire to develop and improve yourself in order to raise your opinion of yourself. And – get started! Follow the plan:
- Watch your posture
A person who keeps his back straight and his head upraised high, looks quite respectable. Pull in your stomach, straighten your shoulders, lift your head! And – go ahead, boldly go to work, a party or a meeting with friends. Do not think about how you look at the moment, do not analyze yourself, otherwise you can lose all confidence. If you enter a room where there are people – greet loudly. If you just mumble something under your breath or prefer not to greet at all, this will only betray your desire not to draw unnecessary attention to yourself. You will not be noticed that evening!
- Smile
Your mood can be transmitted to others.If you "give out" smiles to everyone, you are immediately perceived as a very pleasant companion. Cheerful laughter is one of the most important tools of non-verbal communication. An angry and gloomy person causes only one desire - to quickly move away from him. Do not forget that our self-esteem is affected by how we look at the moment. But appearance is not the most important thing. Many girls know how to hide defects and imperfections with the help of makeup so that you would not even guess about it. In addition, a cheerful disposition is much better than the perfect doll face of a woman who is cold in all respects.
- Believe in yourself
It is worth noting that self-confidence, although notplays a central role in our physical attractiveness, but its importance is still great. Everything in a woman should be balanced. A person who is happy with his appearance usually does not pay attention to sidelong glances and condemning whispers. Therefore, try to keep your body in good shape, make sure that your wardrobe is updated from time to time. Do not spare money on periodic visits to beauty salons. Manicure, hairdo, beautiful makeup - all this has a positive effect on increasing self-esteem. And most importantly, do not forget to smile at your reflection in the mirror every morning!
Remember your rights and do not take unnecessary responsibilities
You have the right not to represent anyjustifications or excuses to defend your behavior. Don't want to babysit your friend's child, go to a seminar, or do your colleague's work? Say so! Don't look for an excuse, just say that you won't do it. Finally learn to say a firm and irrevocable no. You also have the right to change your mind. Just don't forget to warn others about it at least an hour in advance. You don't want your boyfriend to stand outside the theater with roses, do you? In this case, you shouldn't make excuses either. Speak honestly and openly that you don't have the desire, the opportunity, etc. Don't forget that you have the right to make mistakes. It is the analysis of your shortcomings that negatively affects self-esteem. When faced with a problem, never tell yourself that you don't know, don't understand, don't understand it. You just have to want it and put in a little effort to do what others have failed to do. We recommend reading:
