Many of us have faced such a problem aslack of trust in oneself. Doubts, excessive self-criticism, search of mistakes - all this does not allow to live to the fullest. Intolerance to one's own shortcomings makes you huddle in a corner where you can observe more successful, liberated and happy people. Often, such representatives of the fair sex are not satisfied with their appearance or education. They doubt the ability to communicate with superiors, clients, partners and friends. If they are praised, the girls experience mixed feelings. Sometimes it seems to them that the opponent simply mocks or jokes. But even people who seem quite confident in themselves, sometimes experience similar feelings. In fact, self-esteem is like a roller coaster. Each of us has days when we feel successful and at the height of our glory. But sometimes the hours of deep depression come. And then it seems to us that our existence is useless, so it will not be possible to do anything sensible at work or at home. After such self-suggestion, mistakes and failures begin to haunt us. Living with such feelings is not very pleasant. Particularly hard for people who experience them all the time. Therefore, they should immediately resolve the issue of how to increase self-esteem and self-confidence. So, first of all, it is necessary to get rid of unpleasant thoughts and memories as soon as possible. Say goodbye to doubts, because only this way you can live to the full without thinking about the problems that have arisen. Many people probably thought about it, after reading these lines: "It's easy to say, but it's much harder to do!" And they, of course, will be right! Of course, you have to work hard on yourself. And in order to raise their own self-esteem to the desired level, you will need to spend more than one week. But the results obtained will surely please you.
Why do people think badly of themselves?
The feeling of inferiority appears whenwe judge ourselves and our abilities not by our "standards" dictated by our capabilities, but by the standards of other people. Then, so that the girl does, it does not work. As a result, it turns out to be worse than others. Over time, the loser, who has lost confidence in herself and her powers, only gets used to being the second. And whenever she does not get to be the first, she feels that something is wrong with her. The representative of the fair sex begins to delve into their memories, looking for reasons there, comparing themselves with others. She does not look at the doors and opportunities open before her, but all the time she turns back. And all because we allowed ourselves to fall under the hypnosis of a false statement "I should be like someone else" or "I should be like everyone else". Unfortunately, this is taught to us in school. If you think about it, then this point of view is simply absurd. But our society is multifaceted. In any group, people differ in character, behavior, abilities. What is most interesting, each of them is unique in its own way. Therefore, there can not be any common standards and frameworks. Unfortunately, often the problem of a person with an inferiority complex is aggravated by the fact that he tries to be better than himself. His feelings stem from the erroneous assumption that he is inferior to others in his qualities. And the more such a person tries to be smarter, stronger, more beautiful, the worse he feels. Often he tortures himself, bringing his body to a neurosis. Try to remember once and for all: you do not have to prove anything to anyone. Let your girlfriend dress better, the employee thinks faster, but her sister tastes better. You are what you are. Neither better nor worse than others. Stop comparing yourself with others in order to gain self-confidence.
Signs of low self-esteem
Some of the girls sometimes do not even understand thatTheir failure is associated with their own low self-esteem. Experiencing difficulties in communication, such persons do not even guess that the key to solving these problems must be sought in themselves. By the way, sometimes people do not even realize that their behavior indicates disagreements with their own self. Excessive aggression and the desire to dominate Your boss screams at his subordinates, without explaining the reasons? In the store, the seller is just so naughty? Do not be offended by them! The fact is that they are trying to increase their self-esteem at your expense. Who would have thought that a person who constantly strives to experience a sense of superiority over others has the same problems. Scolding you, they are unlikely to gain confidence. The scandal will only exacerbate the situation. In the future, the chief, passport officer or traffic cop will try to bring you to tears. To great regret, a sense of inferiority and a sense of superiority are two sides of the same coin. A man who arrogantly refers to others, easily and with pleasure humiliating others, in fact in himself is not at all sure. Showing character in this way, such a person tries at least for a while to feel a little better. That is, he, trampling in the mud of another, tries to rise himself. Excessive shyness and constant confusion Shyness is another indicator of low self-esteem. A shy person does not know how to refuse something else, even if his own interests are violated. He does not dare to express, let alone defend his opinion in a contentious issue. Even if such a person knows more than others, she will not be able to take a good position or become a leader in the team. Do not return to the store substandard products, do not ask for salary increases, do not go to auditions in search of a better job - this is the position of the person who once burned. Such girls lose a lot in their lives, because they lack the strength to use new opportunities. At the same time, self-confidence and self-reliance of the people insulted by life are falling more and more each time. Learning not to be afraid to assert one's rights and raise self-esteem is not a simple task. The desire to be the best in everything Perfectionism can also be a manifestation of low self-esteem. For example, before leaving home, a girl can spend several hours in front of a mirror, until she is sure that it looks perfect. Or she tries to keep the house in perfect order. Or at work she tries to achieve the best indicators, demanding the same from all colleagues and subordinates. Usually perfectionists hardly tolerate other people's successes, especially if they themselves have not achieved anything in the same field. To raise their self-esteem, they have to compete with others all the time. Unfortunately, this is fraught with nervous breakdowns, depressions and constant anger towards the world. Jealousy and possessiveness Another manifestation of self-doubt is unreasonable jealousy. It seems to the Revnivit that she is not good enough for her partner. Beauty is not sure of the strength of the relationship, doubts the feelings of a guy or husband. The girl unreasonably believes that other women are better than she, so she fears that the other half will lose interest in her. If you turn to a specialist in time, you can raise your self-esteem to such a girl in several sessions. The psychologist will help to find out the cause of self-flagellation and tell you how to fight it better. There is a possibility that in the past this woman had unsuccessful relationships, she was betrayed or deceived. Now she is transferring someone else's image to new partners.
Why is it necessary to work on yourself?
As you believe, low self-esteem is only ayour own business? If you really think so, then you are very much mistaken. Your attitude to yourself has a huge impact on how other people perceive you. After all, with a frightened little girl, it's also terrible to communicate, as with an evil, rude man. In addition, people who have low self-esteem, as a rule, do not achieve their goals. Because they surrender at the slightest sign of failure. And vice versa, people who believe in themselves and their success are not afraid of their mistakes. They use them to learn something new and increase their chances of success. Remember once and for all, self-esteem acts like a magical spell. Two people can suggest the same thing at a meeting. But they will only hear someone who speaks confidently, clearly and without hesitation. Those who present their plan timidly and quietly, will not even notice.
Raise self-esteem correctly
Unfortunately, there are no easy ways in life. To raise self-esteem, without having made efforts for this, it will not be possible. Confidence is not sold in the store, is not issued at work instead of salary and does not hide at home in the refrigerator. However, there is a wonderful news - you can get it for free! All you need is a desire to develop and improve in order to increase your opinion about yourself. And - start! Follow the plan:
- Watch your posture
A man who keeps his back straight, and his head -high, it looks quite solid. We select the stomach, straighten the shoulders, raise the head! And - forward, boldly go to work, a party or a meeting with friends. Do not think about how you look at the moment, do not analyze yourself, otherwise you can lose all confidence. If you enter a room where there are people, say loudly. If you just mutter something to yourself or prefer not to say hello at all, it will only give out your desire not to pay attention once again. You will not be noticed this evening!
Your mood can be transmitted to others. If you "give" everyone a smile, you immediately begin to perceive, as a very pleasant companion. Funny laughter is one of the most important tools of non-verbal communication. An evil and sullen person causes only one desire - to quickly depart from him. Do not forget that our self-esteem is influenced by how we look at the moment. But appearance is not the most important thing. Many girls are able to hide defects and shortcomings with the help of cosmetics so that you will not even guess about it. In addition, cheerful disposition is much better than the ideal doll face of a cold woman in all respects.
- Believe in yourself
It is worth noting that trust in yourself, though notplays a central role in our physical attractiveness, but its significance is still great. In a woman, everything should be balanced. A person who is satisfied with his appearance, usually does not pay attention to slanting looks and condemning whispers. Therefore, try to keep your body in good shape, make sure that your wardrobe is updated from time to time. Do not spare money for periodic visits to beauty salons. Manicure, hairstyle, beautiful make-up - all this has a positive effect on increasing self-esteem. And most importantly, do not forget to smile every morning to your reflection in the mirror!
Remember your rights and do not take unnecessary responsibilities
You have the right not to represent anyjustification or justification in defense of their behavior. Do not want to sit with a girlfriend's child, go to a seminar or do work for a colleague? Tell me about it! Do not look for an excuse, but just tell me that you will not do it. Learn to finally say a firm and irrevocable no. You also have the right to change your mind. Just do not forget at least an hour to warn the others about it. You do not want your boyfriend to stand with roses at the theater. In this case, too, do not make excuses. Speak honestly and openly that you have no desire, opportunity, etc. Do not forget that you have the right to make a mistake. It is the analysis of their shortcomings that negatively affects self-esteem. Faced with the problem, in no case tell yourself that you do not know, do not understand, do not understand this. You just want to and make a little effort to do something that others have not coped with. We advise you to read: