At the beginning of life, every newborn recognizesthe authority of only one person. His mother. Of course! She will feed him, change his clothes, and put him to bed. The rest of the family cannot compare to this fragile woman. Take, for example, that hundred-kilogram man with a newspaper in his hands. Apparently, he is the weakest in the family. As soon as he came, he immediately sat down in the chair. They even brought him food there. Apparently, the father was very weak after work. But the woman did not eat at all. That means she is very strong, since she does not need food. In that case, I will ask for some more breast milk. Almost every new citizen of our country thinks like this. He lives peacefully, drinking milk, demanding dry diapers and does not know what a global crisis or an Oedipus complex is. And if he will have to get acquainted with the first term sooner or later, then the Oedipus complex often turns out to be completely unstudied in modern society. Although, as statisticians prove, almost 80% of the entire population of the world are subject to this psychological deviation. Don't believe me? But in vain. In order to be convinced of this, it is enough to dig into your own subconscious, well, and also in books on psychology and history. The fact is that the well-known Freud in his theory relies on the famous ancient Greek tragedy "Oedipus the King".
"Oedipus the King"
The myth tells that one day Laius, the kingThebes - oracles predicted that he would die at the hands of his own son. And that the offspring, in addition to the throne, would also encroach on his wife (his mother). What he heard frightened the ruler so much that he ordered that the newborn Oedipus be thrown to be eaten by animals. However, fate decreed otherwise, and the boy was picked up by compassionate shepherds. They raised him, not knowing who was in front of them. Therefore, for the adult Oedipus, his title and the names of his parents remained unknown. In principle, he did not try to find out about his pedigree. However, the royal blood took its toll, and the young man decided to conquer Thebes. The daring warrior succeeded in his plan, and in the heat of battle he killed his own father (the first part of the prophecy came true). Then everything went according to the script. Oedipus falls in love with his own mother and marries her. In fairness, it should be noted that the couple lived together for 20 long years. And only then does the hero learn who exactly he shared his marital bed with, and who is now lying in the grave because of him. Oedipus blinds himself, and the inconsolable mother commits suicide. That's the sad story. You'll probably ask now, what does this have to do with psychological complexes? Well, that's what we're going to talk about in more detail now.
The essence of the psychological complex
So what is the Oedipus complex and how exactly does itstruck more than half of the country's population? It's very simple. This psychological deviation occurs in both women and men. More precisely, it affects girls and boys aged 2 to 5 years and is expressed in an irresistible sexual attraction of the child to a parent of the opposite sex. That is, girls introduce a cult of adoration of the father, and sons experience tender feelings towards the mother. At the same time, the same-sex parent is perceived "with hostility". The daughter begins to be jealous of her father towards her mother, and the boys experience aggression towards their own father (greetings to you, Laius, from the depths of generations). It is clear that children are not capable of any murder, unlike the already mentioned Oedipus, but the complex itself can take root in the fragile subconscious and affect the rest of a person's life. Here you have both infantile girls and slender ranks of dependent men, called mama's boys. And all because the Oedipus complex was not only not eradicated, but was also encouraged by parents. Dad obediently carried his beloved daughter in his arms and laughed at her innocent statements that she would marry only him. Mothers (often not receiving the necessary attention from male peers) spoiled their beloved sons, giving them the last. As for the gender difference, the Oedipus complex in girls and boys differs little from each other. Perhaps only in the fact that girls more carefully hide their jealous feelings towards their mother. In adulthood, echoes of the old attraction are expressed in the fact that the girl begins to look for a husband similar to her father, and for men, their own mother remains the main ideal. It is not for nothing that many wives are somewhat similar to their mother-in-law, and girls who grew up without a father subconsciously look for men much older than their years as partners.
What influences the appearance of the Oedipus complex
You probably think that the Oedipus complexappears mainly in girls and boys from dysfunctional families? No, it doesn't. According to psychologists, such behavior does not depend on the financial well-being of the family, the age of the parents, or the social status of women and men who got married. There is no pattern that would determine the degree of probability of the appearance of a childhood complex in a particular cell of society. But in complete families, the Oedipus complex occurs more harmoniously in children. And the whole point is that boys and girls have an example before their eyes. For sons, this is their father, while girls try to be like their own mother. And this is right. It's another matter when in families where boys are growing up, fathers are too authoritarian. In this case, future men develop an inferiority complex. They mistakenly believe that they will not be able to become like their father and simply stop developing and achieving any results in life. And this is fundamentally wrong. In this case, men have to be "persuaded" for a long time that they are the best. The lessons can drag on for years, but still not bring the desired results. Moreover, the role of inspiration falls not on the mother, but on the other halves of men who have suffered from the dictatorship of the father. In this case, it is best to contact a psychologist for professional help in time. But the Oedipus complex itself should not be treated. Experts believe that such behavior in children is completely normal. Therefore, if you notice that your child has excessive love for one of the parents, do not be alarmed. Just try to show your beloved child that everyone is equal in the family, and do not let jealousy towards one of the adults go beyond all acceptable boundaries. We recommend reading:
