“Mom, where do babies come from?» Этого вопроса боятся все родители. Но рано или поздно всем придется на него отвечать. Многие взрослые люди полагают, что половое воспитание дошкольников начинается именно в этот момент. Но это вовсе не так – половое воспитание начинается гораздо раньше. И именно на плечи родителей ложится эта обязанность. И от того, насколько успешно родители справятся с этой нелегкой обязанностью, зависит вся дальнейшая жизнь ребенка, его восприятие мира. Именно о половом воспитании мы и поговорим с вами сейчас. Любой человек после появления на свет проходит путь психосексуального развития. У ребенка формируется свой взгляд на вопросы сексуальности и определяется со своими личными предпочтениями. И начинается это самое формирование сразу же после рождения малыша. Например, новорожденный малыш весьма зависим от тактильного контакта со своими родителями – и в первую очередь с матерью. Проследите за поведением своего малыша в тот момент, когда вы берете его на ручки, поглаживаете, кормите грудью. Скорее всего, на лице ребенка будет написано удовлетворение, он будет улыбаться, довольно покряхтывать, агукать. Взрослые даже и не подозревают, но все это есть не что иное, как выражение так называемой младенческой сексуальности. Хотя, само собой разумеется, ничего общего младенческая и взрослая сексуальность не имеют. По мере того, как кроха растет и развивается его моторная координация, он становится крайне любознательным. Всего в полгода – год кроха начинает активно исследовать все части своего тела, в том числе половых органов. И многие родители, заметив это, начинают паниковать и предполагают, что у их ребенка имеется какая-либо патология психики. Однако это вовсе не так! Для ребенка подобное поведение – нормальная практика. Он изучает все части своего тела – носик, ротик, ушки, ручки, ножки, половые органы. Для него подобные действия не имеют особой патологии. Одни детки, исследовав свои половые органы, напрочь теряют к ним интерес. Другие же, отметив те приятные ощущения, которые возникают во время исследования половых органов, начинают целенаправленно пытаться повторить их снова и снова. Подобное явление также вполне нормально и не свидетельствует об отклонении от нормы. Примерно к двум годам ребенок знает, как называются все части его тела. А примерно к трем годам малыш вполне способен отличить мальчика от девочки именно по половым признакам, а не по юбочкам и бантикам. В этот же период ребенок целиком и полностью осознает свою принадлежность к тому или иному полу. Заканчивается этот процесс примерно к четырем годам. И именно к четырем годам у ребенка окончательно формируется полное осознание себя как мальчика или девочки. Кроме того, именно в этот период у ребенка возобновляется пристальный интерес к гениталиям – как своим, так и чужим. И очень важно, чтобы родители смогли сформировать правильное отношение к своим половым органам и телу в общем. Ни в коем случае не заостряйте внимание на том, что ребенок трогает гениталии – этим самым вы рискуете ему внушить мысль о том, что половые органы являются чем-то постыдным и запретным. В возрасте примерно пяти лет дети начинают осознавать наготу и стесняться раздеваться. Не смейтесь над ребенком и не относитесь к его стыду пренебрежительно. Пора начинать относиться к подобному поведению ребенка с уважением. Если ребенку нужна помощь родителей, например, во время купания, лучше, чтобы это сделал родитель одного с ребенком пола. Именно с соблюдения этих простых правил и начинается половое воспитание в семье.
Information freedom or blockade?
At about 4-5 years old, the child beginsbe aware of the fact that in the world of adults there are certain taboos of a sexual nature. Sex education of children during this period should be especially active. Be sure to talk to your child on the relevant topics. Does your child prefer to run around the house naked? Explain to him that this is not accepted. Is the child interested in where babies come from? Do not under any circumstances keep silent about this topic, do not joke or avoid answering. Try to explain in a form accessible to the child how exactly the conception and birth of a baby occurs. Of course, many fathers and mothers are embarrassed, not knowing how to present this information. Special literature will come to their aid. There are quite a few books devoted to such a problem as sex education of preschool children. However, before reading this or that book to your child, be sure to read it yourself. As a rule, after reading such literature, the child will no longer have any questions for several years. But be extremely careful and carefully filter all the information that the child receives from the TV screen and books. During this period, it is very important that the child does not see any overly explicit scenes, and especially not scenes with violence. The baby is still so small that he will not be able to filter such information. And as a result, the child can receive quite a serious psychological trauma, which will make itself felt throughout his life.
I'm growing!
But then the child grows up and developsnew questions. Most often, this happens during the period when the child goes to school, especially if the baby has not gone to kindergarten. And this is not surprising - children love to share such information. And it may differ from what your child has. You should never ignore your child's questions - sex education for younger students is no less important. Of course, talking about intimate topics is far from the easiest task. Parents have a lot of questions and concerns. What if they give the child too little or, on the contrary, too much information? What if they start the conversation too early or too late? What words can be used and which ones cannot? All these worries are understandable and natural. Today, there is not a single universal scheme, so parents should build a conversation, taking into account the following factors:
- Personality of the child
The child's personality cannot be separated fromsexuality, just as sexuality depends on the individual. That is why sex education of preschool children is inextricably linked with regular education. Simply put, do not try to educate your child sexually – just love him and conduct the regular educational process.
- Sex education and puberty
Many parents believe that sexualeducation must begin during puberty. But this is fundamentally wrong - child psychologists claim that sex education must begin long before this age. After all, it is at a tender age that the child's basic attitude to life is laid down. Of course, the child himself does not realize this, but all the information is stored in his subconscious. And the brain will extract it at the right moment. And who knows what information exactly?
- Confidence
In order for the process of puberty to beeffective, it is necessary to build the most trusting relationship with the child. The child must be sure that at home he is loved, understood and will always be supported, no matter what happens. Only in this case is there a guarantee that the child will come home with his problems, and not to his friends.
- Work on yourself
Before you start raising a child,Remember that you need to start with yourself. Surely each of us has some or other sexual problems, or some or other complexes. The first thing you need to do is take them under strict control. Of course, you are unlikely to get rid of them in this way, but you can reduce the risk of passing these problems on to your child. Take this extremely seriously - numerous psychological studies have shown that most often sexual problems are hereditary. This is not so difficult to do, because such conversations do not imply discussing the personal life of the parents. Such conversations are highly undesirable at any age of the child, even if he or she has long become a parent. The only thing parents should do is to instill in the child the correct attitude towards their body and the process of conception. Remember that there is nothing shameful in the human body, just as there is nothing shameful in the process of conception. We were all born in the same way. By the way, psychologists advise those parents who find it extremely difficult to talk about such frank topics with their children to remember themselves in childhood. If this measure does not help, it would be wiser to seek help from specialists - a sexologist or a psychologist.
No longer a baby!
Time flies, your child grows – and so do his questionscease to be as innocent as before. And it is at this stage that most parents begin to avoid such topics in every possible way. And even if the child himself has taken the initiative, they simply divert the conversation. And it is very in vain - this contributes to the incorrect formation of the child's view of sex, which can remain for life. The main thing that parents should instill is the idea that sex is an absolutely normal side of any person's life. And therefore, in no case should it be perceived as something shameful or forbidden. Although, of course, it is very difficult to convey such information to a child. Children's teachers offer the following advice:
- Naturalness
Don't blush or show it under any circumstances.your embarrassment during the conversation. In this case, the child will certainly note this fact. And discuss all issues related to sex education in a relaxed manner, like all other topics. Do not turn such conversations into boring lectures. Talk to your child on the street, during dinner, watching TV.
- The manner of the story
Many parents are afraid that their childwill hear more about sex than is appropriate for his age. However, this is not true at all - a child's memory is extremely selective - he is unlikely to remember information that is incomprehensible or boring to him. And remember that it is very important to correctly highlight not only the biological side of the process, but also the emotional one. This will help the child to more fully assimilate all the information, and parents will be able to direct his thinking in the right direction.
- Parent Activity
In the event that parents consider thatIt's time to talk to your child about such a sensitive topic, and the moment will be right, you should take the initiative and start the conversation first. Remember, we already talked about the fact that sex education is an integral part of the general upbringing of a child? Therefore, all the same principles apply in sex education - sometimes it is much more effective to prevent the emergence of certain questions in advance than to hear them at the most inopportune moment. If the child catches you by surprise, you may well be at a loss. But if you feel that the child is not ready to discuss these issues, do not insist. Just let him know that he can return to this conversation at any time. The right words. Child psychologists urge parents to avoid "childish" names for genitals. Learn to pronounce the words "arm", "leg", and "penis" with the same intonation. Numerous studies show that those children who have heard the correct definitions practically from the cradle will not feel embarrassed either in the marital bed or in the doctor's office.
Already a schoolboy!
Sex education for primary school students is the mosteasy, since the first wave of curiosity and interest in the sexual side of human life is already behind us, and the second is still far away. Therefore, during this period, parents should only instill in their child the correct views on gender relations, and in particular, for boys, the correct perception of girls and women is very important. Now is the time to teach a child to give a girl a hand when exiting transport, let her through the door, help her get dressed. Did you smile? But this is exactly what many men lack. And this stage of education is very closely related to sex education. By the way, sex education for girls at this age is a little more difficult - after all, now is the time to tell your daughter what menstruation is, why it exists, what hygienic measures are necessary during this period. You should not assume that at 7 - 8 years old this information is still premature - modern girls often start menstruating very early. And it will be much worse if it catches the child unexpectedly - your daughter may be scared. In the West, this topic has long been included in the sexual education program for students. Our schools do not offer such subjects yet, so such an honorable mission falls entirely on the shoulders of parents.
I'm a teenager!
Sex education for teenagers is the most difficulttask. After all, sexual illiteracy at this age can very likely result in serious problems, such as sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancy. And you shouldn't forget about the emotional side of the issue either. You don't want your child to enter adulthood with any complexes, do you? And that means that conversations about sex education at this age are simply necessary. Almost always, it is during adolescence that a child encounters his first love. And the help of parents during this period is extremely important. As a rule, a child is not yet able to choose a girlfriend or boyfriend on his own. Therefore, he simply creates an ideal image in his head. And sometimes he accidentally finds it in one person or another. And he is far from always right. This is where the role of parents is very important. Of course, you should not obsessively interfere in the child's personal life. But, nevertheless, you simply must "keep your finger on the pulse" so that the child does not do stupid things. In girls, as a rule, sexual attraction to the opposite sex is expressed much less clearly than in boys. As a rule, a girl is looking for love, affection, care and tenderness. Most often, a girl perceives her boyfriend more as a friend than a sexual partner. Walks under the moon, dancing, poetry - this is not a complete list of what your daughter dreams of. Boys, on the contrary, consciously strive for sexual contact. And parents should make sure that it is safe. Explain to your child what contraception is, unobtrusively advise the best option for him. If you cannot overcome yourself and talk to your child on such a frank topic, at least make sure that he gets the necessary literature. As a rule, children rarely look for a girlfriend or boyfriend among their peers. And this is no accident, because girls grow up much earlier. They begin to look down on boys, and they, in revenge, begin to offend girls. And it is quite natural that a girl will look for an object of attention among older guys. During this period, parents should be especially attentive - Sex education for teenagers should not be left to chance. Unfortunately, in schools, sex education for students is limited to explaining the physiological aspects of human sexual life. That is why parents should pay attention to the emotional side of the issue. After all, it is in adolescence that a child usually encounters such a concept as first love. And how bright memories it leaves about itself depends entirely on the parents. Be sure to talk to your son or daughter about friendship, respect, maiden honor, and male dignity. Teach your child the correct attitude towards the opposite sex - he or she will certainly thank you for it. You don’t want to raise a notorious egoist and womanizer from your son, and a cynical bitch or a girl of easy virtue from your daughter, do you? Therefore, do not spare time and effort, communicate with your children - and you will definitely succeed! After all, sex education at school is unlikely to cope with this task. We recommend reading:
