"Mom, where do the children come from?""All parents are afraid of this question. But sooner or later, everyone will have to answer it. Many adults believe that the sexual education of preschoolers begins at this very moment. But this is not so - sex education begins much earlier. And it is on the shoulders of parents that this duty falls. And on how successfully parents will cope with this difficult duty, the entire further life of the child, his perception of the world, depends. It is about sex education that we will talk with you now. Any person after the birth of a path of psychosexual development. The child has his own view on the issues of sexuality and is determined with his personal preferences. And this very formation begins immediately after the birth of the baby. For example, a newborn baby is very dependent on tactile contact with his parents - and primarily with his mother. Follow the behavior of your baby the moment you take it on the handles, stroke, nurse. Most likely, the face of the child will be written satisfaction, he will smile, rather pokryahtyvat, agukat. Adults do not even suspect, but all this is nothing more than the expression of so-called infantile sexuality. Although, needless to say, nothing to do with infant and adult sexuality have. As the baby grows and develops its motor coordination, it becomes extremely inquisitive. In just six months - a year the crumb begins to actively explore all parts of his body, including the sex organs. And many parents, having noticed this, begin to panic and assume that their child has some kind of pathology of the psyche. However, this is not so! For a child, this behavior is normal practice. He studies all parts of his body - nose, mouth, ears, handles, legs, genitals. For him, such actions do not have a particular pathology. Some children, having studied their sexual organs, completely lose interest in them. Others, noting those pleasant sensations that arise during the study of the sexual organs, begin to purposefully try to repeat them again and again. This phenomenon is also normal and does not indicate a deviation from the norm. For about two years the child knows how all parts of his body are called. And by about three years the baby is quite capable of distinguishing the boy from the girl precisely by gender, and not by skirts and bows. In the same period, the child is fully and fully aware of his belonging to a particular sex. This process ends in about four years. And it is to four years the child finally formed a full awareness of himself as a boy or girl. In addition, it is during this period that the child renews a keen interest in the genitals - both his own and others. And it is very important that parents can form a correct attitude towards their sexual organs and body in general. In no case do not focus on the fact that the child touches the genitals - thus you risk instilling in him the idea that the sex organs are something shameful and forbidden. At the age of about five years, children become aware of nudity and feel ashamed to undress. Do not laugh at the child and do not treat his shame scornfully. It's time to begin to treat this behavior of the child with respect. If the child needs the help of parents, for example, during bathing, it is better that the parent of one with the child of the floor does this. It is with the observance of these simple rules that sexual education in the family begins.
Information freedom or blockade?
Approximately in 4 - 5 years the child starts to realizethe fact that there are certain taboos of a sexual nature in the adult world. Sexual education of children during this period should be particularly active. Be sure to talk with the child on the relevant topics. The child prefers to run around the house naked? Explain to him that this is not done. The kid is wondering where the children are coming from? In no case do not ignore this topic, do not joke and do not leave the answer. Try to explain in an accessible form for the child how the conception and appearance of the baby occurs. Of course, many popes and mothers are extinguished, not knowing how to present this information. Special literature will come to their aid. There are quite a lot of books devoted to such problem as sex education of preschool children. However, before reading a book for a child, be sure to read it yourself. As a rule, after reading such literature for several years, the child will lose all questions. But be extremely careful and carefully filter all the information that the child receives from the TV screen and books. During this period it is very important that the child does not see any too frank scenes, much less scenes with violence. The crumb is still so small that it will not be able to filter out such information. And as a result, a child can get a rather serious psychological trauma, which will make itself felt throughout his life.
But the child grows up and he appearsnew issues. Most often this happens in the period when the child goes to school, especially if the child did not go to kindergarten. And it's not surprising - children are very fond of sharing such information. And it may be different from the one your child has. Ignore the child's questions in no case it is impossible - sexual education of younger students is no less important. Of course, talking about intimate topics is by no means an easy task. Parents have a lot of questions and concerns. Suddenly they will give the child too little or, on the contrary, too much information? Suddenly they will start a conversation too sooner or later? What words can be used and which words can not be used? All these disturbances are quite understandable and natural. To date, there is no single universal scheme, so parents should build a conversation, considering the following factors:
- Personality of the child
The personality of the child can not be separated fromsexuality, as well as sexuality - from the individual. That is why sexual education of children of preschool age is inextricably linked with ordinary upbringing. Simply put, do not seek to educate a child sexually - just love him and lead a normal educational process.
- Sex education and puberty
Very many parents believe that sexeducation must begin during puberty. But this is fundamentally wrong - child psychologists argue that sex education must begin long before the onset of this age. After all, it is at the tender age of the child that the main attitude to life is laid. Of course, the child himself does not realize this, but all the information is postponed in his subconscious. And the brain will extract it at the right time. And who knows what kind of information?
In order for the process of puberty to beeffective, it is necessary to build a maximum confidential relationship with the child. The child must be sure that at home he is in any case loved, understood and always supported, no matter what happens. Only in this case there is a guarantee that the child will come with his problems home, not friends.
- Work on yourself
Before embarking on the education of a child,remember that you need to start with yourself. Surely, each of us has these or other problems of a sexual nature, or those or other complexes. The first thing to do is take them under strict control. Of course, you can hardly get rid of them in this way, but you can reduce the risk of transferring these problems to your child. Take this very seriously - numerous psychological studies have shown that most often problems of a sexual nature are hereditary. It is not so difficult to do this, because such conversations do not mean discussing the personal life of parents. Such conversations are very undesirable at any age of the child, even if he himself became a parent long ago. The only thing parents should do is to instill in their child the right attitude to their bodies and the process of conception. Remember that in the human body there is nothing shameful, just as in the process of conception. We all came into being in the same way. Incidentally, those parents who are extremely difficult to talk to such frank topics with their children, psychologists advise me to remember myself as a child. If this measure does not help, the most reasonable way is to seek help from specialists - a sexologist or a psychologist.
No longer a baby!
Time flies, your child grows - and his questionscease to be as innocent as before. And it is at this stage that most parents begin to avoid such topics in every possible way. And even in the event that the child himself took the initiative, they simply take the conversation aside. And very vainly - this contributes to the incorrect formation of a child's view of sex, which can remain for life. The main thing that parents should inspire is the idea that sex is absolutely normal side of life of any person. And therefore, in no case should it be perceived as something shameful or forbidden. Although, of course, to convey such information to the child is not easy. Children's teachers offer the following tips:
Do not blush or show up at all.his embarrassment during the conversation. In this case, the child will certainly note this fact. And discuss all issues related to sex education in a relaxed manner, like all other topics. Do not turn these conversations into boring lectures. Talk to the child on the street, during dinner, watching TV.
- The manner of the story
Very many parents are afraid that their childwill hear about sex more than it should at his age. However, this is not the case at all - the child's memory is extremely selective - he is unlikely to remember the information that is incomprehensible or boring to him. And remember that it is very important to correctly illuminate not only the biological side of the process, but also the emotional one. This will help the child more fully absorb all the information, and parents will be able to direct his thinking in the right direction.
- Parent Activity
In the event that the parents consider thatit's time to talk with the child on such a delicate topic, and the moment will be suitable, it is worthwhile to show initiative and the first to start a conversation. Remember, we have already said that sex education is an integral part of the overall upbringing of the child? Therefore, the same principles apply to sex education - sometimes it is much more effective to prevent the emergence of certain issues beforehand than to hear them at the most inopportune moment. If the child catches you unawares, you may well become embarrassed. But if you feel that the child is not ready to discuss these issues, do not insist. Just let him know that he can return to this conversation at any time. Right words. Child psychologists urge parents to avoid "child" names of genital organs. Learn how to pronounce the words "hand", "leg", and "member" with the same intonation. Numerous studies show that those children who practically from the cradle heard the correct definitions, will not feel embarrassment either in the matrimonial bed or in the doctor's office.
Already a schoolboy!
Sex education of primary schoolchildren - the mosteasy, because the first wave of curiosity and interest in the sexual side of human life has already left behind, and to the second is still far away. Therefore, during this period, parents should only instill correct views on the relationship of the sexes with the child, and in particular for boys, the correct perception of girls and women is very actual. Right now it's time to teach the child to give the girl a hand at the exit from the transport, skip in the doorway, help dress. Have you smiled? But this is so often not enough in many men. And this stage of education is very closely connected with sexual education. By the way, sex education of girls at this age is a little more difficult - after all right now it's time to tell your daughter about what menstruation is, why it exists, about what hygiene measures are needed during this period. Do not assume that in 7 - 8 years, this information is still premature - in modern girls often menstruation begins very early. And it will be much worse if she finds a child unexpectedly - your daughter may be frightened. In the West, this topic has long been included in the program of sexual education of students. Our schools of similar disciplines do not yet offer, so this honorable mission is entirely on the shoulders of parents.
I'm a teenager!
Sex education of a teenager is the most difficulta task. After all, sexual illiteracy at this age is very likely to result in serious problems, such as sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. And the emotional side of the issue should not be forgotten either. You do not want your child to enter adulthood with these or other complexes? So, conversations about sexual education at this age are simply necessary. Almost always it is in adolescence that a child encounters the first love. And the help of parents during this period is extremely important. As a rule, the child is not yet able to choose his own friend or friend. Therefore, he simply creates an ideal image in his head. And sometimes he accidentally finds him in this or that person. And not always it turns out right. It is here that the role of parents is very important. Of course, do not obsessively climb into the privacy of the child. But, nevertheless, "keep your hand on the pulse" you just have to not let the child do something stupid. In girls, as a rule, the sexual attraction to the opposite sex is much less pronounced than in boys. Typically, the girl is looking for love, affection, caring and tenderness. Most often the girl perceives her young man as a friend rather than a sexual partner. Walking under the moon, dancing, poetry - this is not a complete list of what your daughter dreams about. Boys, on the other hand, consciously strive for sexual intercourse. And parents should see to it that it becomes safe. Explain to the child what contraception is, unobtrusively advise the most optimal option for him. If you can not step over yourself and talk with your child on such a frank subject, at least make sure that he gets the necessary literature in his hands. As a rule, children rarely look for a friend or a friend among peers. And it's not accidental, because girls grow up much earlier. They start to look down on the boys, and those in revenge begin to offend the girls. And it is only natural that the girl will look for the object of attention among the older children. During this period, parents should be particularly attentive - the sex education of adolescents can not be neglected. Unfortunately, in schools, the sex education of students is reduced to a maximum of explanations of the physiological moments of a person's sexual life. That's why parents should pay attention to the emotional side of the issue. It is in adolescence, as a rule, that a child encounters such a concept as the first love. And how much bright memories she will leave about herself, depends entirely on her parents. Be sure to talk with your son or daughter about friendship, respect, girlish honor, male dignity. Teach your child the right attitude to the opposite sex - he certainly will still thank you for it. You do not want to raise out of the son of an out-and-out egoist and ladies' man, and from your daughter - a cynical bitch or a girl of easy virtue? Therefore, do not spare time and energy, communicate with your children - and you will always succeed! After all, sex education in school is unlikely to cope with this task. We advise you to read: