Why do many of us, from early childhooddreaming of a lavish wedding and endless family happiness, and end up becoming permanent lovers of married men? Oddly enough, but for a fairly large part of the fairer sex, such a fate seems to be predetermined by fate itself. Of course, it is not their fault that by the time they meet their beloved man, he is already married. Sometimes potential lovers do not know about this, and sometimes they do know, but, completely captured by their feelings, they attach little importance to the fact of marriage. And without resistance, they accept the status of "mistress of a married man", throwing themselves into love like a whirlpool. They decide to live for today, and then - come what may! And anything can happen. After all, a man is married, and therefore not free, and he usually tries to build a relationship with his mistress without harming his family. Not every woman can withstand this. So how should you behave if you suddenly (or not suddenly) happen to become the mistress of a married man?

What does it mean to be the mistress of a married man

Why does a woman become a mistress?After all, the trap of an affair with a married man is very insidious. After a romantic period of the relationship that completely discards any sober reasoning, a bitter epiphany comes: "I have nothing to dream about, because he has another." And a burning, unbearably painful jealousy awakens. It cannot be otherwise. Yes, usually married men tell their mistresses that both the physical and spiritual connection with their spouses has long been lost. But only a completely naive lady will believe that the beloved does not have an intimate relationship with his wife. And his legal faithful has much more rights to this intimate relationship. And there are also holidays that a married man spends with his family. There are calls from his wife during your meetings and his slightly guilty and rather tender response: "Yes, darling, I'll be there soon!" There is a nervous glance at the clock at the most inopportune moment and there is much, much more ... All this screams from all sides: "He is not yours! You are just a permanent mistress, but not a wife! ". This fact becomes painful, and rare meetings no longer bring the satisfaction that was at the very beginning of their acquaintance. Somewhere inside, at first quietly ripens, and then grows to gigantic proportions, sweeping away all thoughts: "Will he get a divorce or not? Does he really love or just play with me?" It would seem that you do not need to be seven spans in the forehead to foresee such a development of events, risking becoming a real mistress of a married man. We will not talk about temporary, one-night girlfriends of such men - such relationships, if they bring suffering, then in exceptional cases. And they are not considered promising at all. So why should a woman complicate her life so much, consoling herself with illusory dreams and often realizing that all her hopes are nothing more than illusions? And that the mistress of a married man can hardly be sure of a happy future with him? Do married men leave their families for mistresses? It happens. But quite rarely. And it's not that they don't have any feelings for women on the side. Sometimes they do, and even very strong ones. But even those who are extremely in love with such a woman turn out to be weak if the question of divorcing their wife becomes very acute. For many men, radical changes in life are tantamount to a natural disaster. And they are not at all eager to cause it with their own hands. Therefore, in order for them to think about whether to marry their mistress, the thought of divorce must first arise. In other words, a married man must be ready for divorce even before meeting another woman. Otherwise, the question "should I leave for my mistress?" will not arise before him right away, and perhaps will never arise. So why do women so thoughtlessly throw themselves into the arms of a married man if deep down they understand that the affair will be difficult, and often futile? The reasons are different.

Types of lovers married man

In general, there are several types of mistresses:

Mistress-masochist This is a woman whothe victim's position is appealing. In a relationship with a married man she understands everything, takes everything and agrees on everything. The masochist with sympathy, tenderness and love listens to man's effusions about how unhappy he is in the family, perceiving him as a noble and strong person. This is the ideal mistress of a married man who sincerely believes that the lover does not divorce his wife and suffers "this dumbness", because he feels obligated to the children (parents, a sick wife, etc.). She is convinced that "you can not build your happiness on someone else's misfortune" and is not going to destroy someone else's family. With a man like that, she likes to play nobility, and from time to time she leaves her, so that she finally arranges her personal life. Being an ideal lover, a devoted masochist during such periods is very afflicted, but does not even think about trying to create her own family. And when the beloved returns, she again takes it, shining with happy eyes. These are very convenient types of lovers, relationships with which men can last for many years.

Hysterical Mistress This woman likes spicyfeelings. Usually, hysterics are bright, self-confident, independent ladies who can easily arrange their personal life. If they want. But they do not want. They are adventurous and cannot imagine their life without risky situations, so they choose married men as the object of their passion, and those who are capable of constantly creating these risky situations. The psychology of a mistress of this kind is based on a high level of aggression, and she keeps her chosen one in suspense all the time, either flirting with someone in front of him, or disappearing for a few days, or calling his wife ... The fantasy of a hysterical mistress has no limits, and she can do anything. An affair with such a lady is not for every man. The relationship develops quickly and stormily, without delays and equivocations. A lady with the psychology of a hysterical mistress is not capable of maneuvering - she needs a victory at any cost, and she goes to her goal over heads. The numbers with a sense of duty and obligations to children do not work here. And married men should stay away from her and run away, headlong, but it does not work! The attacks of aggression of a hysterical mistress are replaced by attacks of incredible tenderness, and such a carrot and stick holds a man better than any waterfall of continuous caresses. But, since he stepped into a minefield, it means that he needed a powerful surge of adrenaline. And a married man will be drawn to such a woman until he is completely exhausted. When this moment will come - no one knows. The most paradoxical thing in the behavior of hysterical mistresses is that if a married man suddenly intends to start a family, they immediately break off all contact with him. Because the object becomes uninteresting.

The Eternal Bride Mistress is a woman who hasa refined nature, incapable of perceiving the world around her pragmatically. She is looking only for a prince, and finds all his traits in a strong, courageous, but, alas, married man, who strenuously plays the role of the one needed by the eternal bride. However, often he does not play this role at all. It is just that in a relationship with a mistress of this kind, any man involuntarily becomes indulgent. It cannot be otherwise. After all, she is so trusting and naive and so reveres him that he always feels like a noble knight with her! The eternal bride, looking at him, experiences serious delight: here he is, her prince! And at the same time, she does not think at all about the fact that he has a family. And, by and large, she does not care, because next to her is such a reliable, experienced and sublime man! In reality, the situation in a relationship of this kind is somewhat different. The mistress-eternal bride is looking for someone who would take responsibility for her future. She cannot and does not want to make any decisions on her own, therefore, as a protective wall and support, she is quite satisfied with a married knight. The main life rules of the mistress-eternal bride are the desire to not allow destructive reality into her fragile inner world. She almost sincerely believes that if her beloved is nearby, then they have only a bright future ahead. The "eternal bride" prefers not to think about his wife and children. And if one day this fact makes her change her behavior and thoughts, the young lady is amazed, frightened and often begins to behave like a complete hysteric. She showers the man with reproaches, calls his wife, complains about her treachery to others, cries and appeals for sympathy.

Mistress-mother This woman is a real lover,next to which the man rests and soul and body. Wounded from the solution of endless everyday problems and tired of the demands of his wife, he finds peace in the house of his mistress-mother. No one climbs into his soul, no one forces him to make money, take out rubbish, nail a nail ... Enveloped with care and affection, he seems to dissolve in the embrace of his mistress, feeling completely safe. The rules of the mistress mother are based on the principle of "do no harm". She will not ask questions about divorce, will not ask about where he has been so long, will not call his wife and will not reproach him in anything. Nutritious and tasty feed, laid, will give unforgettable sex ... It would seem, a complete idyll, divorce the same, have sown here forever! After all, at home - a grumpy wife in a washed dressing gown, serving on the table shop dumplings, and requiring regular attention to children. So no, no! He returns to his wife and children, in order to tear his nerves to order, and then again comes here to come to himself. Why?! Yes, everything is very simple. Men in fact understand that all this quiet comfort can turn out to be a carefully constructed trap. And, get them finally into the clingy paws of your mother's mistress, who knows what then will her care and attention turn into ... Perhaps, the new family life will be much worse than the previous one. So why risk and divorce, if not so bad?

These are the most common types of women whowithout any particular moral torment, they get involved with married men. There are also women who are dissatisfied with their family life, women who only want sex, women who are thirsty for money, etc. But we are not talking about them now. We are talking about those who, one way or another, are pushed into affairs with married men by nothing other than the desire for love. All of them, deep down, cherish the hope of becoming the wife of their chosen one, and very often this desire does not come true. The psychological background of such relationships, as a rule, is different. Such a complex object of desire is chosen by a woman because subconsciously she strives to overcome obstacles. Overcoming is accompanied by internal tension, the tension is relieved by a meeting with a loved one and appears in separation from them, then it is relieved again, is again inflamed, and so on. And often the main role is played not even by the man's attitude to his mistress, but by the very fact of the taboo nature of this relationship. However, there are also women among mistresses who are unlucky enough to fall in love with a married man and really hope that someday he will belong entirely to her. If she belongs to the category of masochistic mistresses, dreams can come true only if the legal wife leaves her husband herself. Hysterical mistresses can hardly count on a successful outcome of the relationship. What man in his right mind would agree to his life turning into a living hell? Even if he gets divorced, he will try to find a quiet harbor for himself, and not rush headlong into the stormy sea! Do people marry mistresses who are eternal brides? Only if love is one of the priorities in a man's life. Which, admittedly, is quite rare. But a mother mistress has a good chance of becoming a legal wife if she can prove that her devotion and care are sincere. Conclusion: in order for an affair with a married man to end in marriage, you need to put in a lot of effort. What kind of effort? Here are some time-tested tips for mistresses.

Tips for mistresses of married men

How to behave with a married man to minimize suffering and increase the likelihood of marriage with him?

If we try to unite our devotionand the undemanding mistress-masochist, the emotionality of a hysterical mistress, the naive romanticism of a mistress-eternal bride and the reliability of her mother's mistress, the chances of a marriage with a married man will increase. This cocktail has a truly enchanting effect.

If we do not try to replace a man with his wife, hisinterest will grow and, in the end, can turn into a very strong feeling. This means that we do not erase it, we do not cook it or clean it up. A man comes to the mistress's house to rest from everyday problems. And to meet him must be a beautiful loving woman, able to give moments of happiness.

If we do not start hysterics, whenbeloved suddenly noted the meeting because it was necessary to urgently solve some family issues - we knew what was going on. Therefore, the shutter speed, shutter speed and again the shutter speed! She will be an excellent assistant in the construction of a foundation on which a serious relationship is based.

If we do not allow whining in the case whenthe ringed best man will not be able to come to an anniversary, birthday, some celebration or hang around on weekends. If he spends all weekends and holidays with his family, that's normal. The fact that the family (for now) has much more rights to the loved one is an indisputable fact, and you need to come to terms with it.

If we do not get used to a man, considering himthe only one in his life. He will go to his wife. And if we admit the thought that this man is a fate, and cultivate it, as a result of habit will make the parting very hard and a burden to the separation pangs of jealousy. Do not forget about yourself, suffering alone, when you do not have a loved one. We find an interesting exercise, meet with friends and girlfriends, have fun in some companies, and in any case, do not torment phone nazvanivaya him without cause.

All this advice to mistresses, of course, is not givenguarantees that the man will get a divorce. But, in any case, he will not be scared off by the excessive obsession, hysteria and exactingness of a woman, meetings with whom should be a holiday. The most important advice to single women is not to fall in love with married men! It is quite possible that they sincerely love their spouses, only their feelings have dulled over time and no longer give off the same heat. Often, a married man does not realize this. But then, when the divorce becomes real, he suddenly feels unbearable mental pain, understands that his wife is more important, and chooses her. And the mistress, tormented by hopelessness and melancholy, is again left completely alone. Be that as it may, the fate of a mistress is an unenviable fate. Even if as a result she turned into a wife, you can’t escape from the man’s past. It happens, of course, that it remains the past and is forgotten over time. However, this happens quite rarely. Usually, the connection with the former family does not end, especially if there are children left in it. The woman who caused the divorce needs to be prepared for the fact that her beloved will spend time with them, call them, help them. And for the fact that the former spouse will not leave him alone. She will ask for help, inquire about her ex-husband's affairs, be sarcastic about his new family, and so on. And if the lady is also unprincipled, she will start pouring dirt on everyone. It must be said that many will sympathize with her. And she will have to be patient, wise, understanding. But will she have enough strength for this? So maybe it is better to find someone who is free and create your own world with him, devoid of outside interference? After all, no matter what the statistics say, there are enough worthy bachelors around. You just need to take a closer look at them and open your heart. Then everything will happen by itself. If you throw out of your head the thought that it is impossible to find your man now (they say that all normal ones are busy and in general they are a great rarity), he will certainly be found. Even with some shortcomings, a good husband needs to be molded. He doesn't fall from the sky. After all, a family lover was different before his marriage. It is quite possible that if the wife hadn't tried, we wouldn't have paid attention to him, who knows? Yes, the heart chooses itself. If you let it. And if you impose a taboo on family men, the heart will obey. And it will reach out only to the one who is destined only for us. We recommend reading:

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