Mendelssohn's march sounded, and the newlyweds joyfullygo home. Well, if it's a separate apartment. Then this article could not be. But not everyone is so lucky with living space. Some brides have to establish a life with their mother-in-law in a one-room apartment. And many of them even survived in this unequal battle. Jokes are jokes, and the mother of her beloved husband is a serious matter. Especially if she is firmly convinced that you are not worthy and the little finger of her precious little son. And where do they come from? Reasonable question. However, the answer is no less reasonable: from the hospital. And, mother-in-law are not born, but become. At the very moment when a young girl gives birth to a long-awaited son and understands: this lump is the most precious thing that she has in the world. Do you think that at this moment the mother has become a mother? May be. But she also became a mother-in-law. And may you, the future daughter-in-law, have not yet been born to this world, she already hates you. For what? For the fact that you will take her little son one moment. Scared? That's the same. Now let's learn to get along with my mother-in-law. Features of life with the mother-in-law depend on several signs:

• Do you live with her in the same apartment?
• Your financial situation and education;
• Availability of children;
• Nature of the mother-in-law;
• Ability of the husband to stand up for his family.

In enemy territory

This is the most difficult option of all possible,Because you, the young wife, have to adapt to someone else's apartment, way of life. If you are used to get up at 10 am and have breakfast with hot sandwiches, and my mother's husband cooks milk porridge from the morning in the morning, disagreements can not be avoided. Let's say you performed a feat, got up at 6 am and went to sleep in the kitchen cooking porridge. No, first coffee to wake up, and then porridge. Suppose that you even succeeded, and the eyes of the ever-dissatisfied mother-in-law stopped the picture of Repin. "A young wife in the kitchen." Well, what, that sleepy? But the porridge hot on the stove smokes, and coffee still remains in the Turkish. Well, let it be that without makeup I look pale. Look at yourself in the mirror. Oh, you also have a lot of sugar in the cereal ?? What about the sugar bowl? In general, it is harmful to eat a lot of sweet. Especially you. There, at the door you barely pass. Of course, all the dialogues of the young wife passed mentally. Her mother-in-law also did not stint on tacit censure. And the main thing is that everyone's thoughts were written in black and white on their faces. And this we outlined the life of the daughter-in-law in the first month of life with her mother-in-law. When each of them still retains a good face in a bad game. A young wife desperately wants to like. The mother-in-law desperately struggles with the approaching hatred and tries to hide it. And then the cold war begins. The weapon of each of the women is a young husband of one and the son of the other. My mother-in-law: Your Tanya again poured the soup into the toilet bowl and did not wash it off. The stench stood on the whole apartment. Hardly aired everything. The draft was such that I probably caught a cold. (Demonstrative sneezing). Young mother husband: Be well, mother. Well, I'll tell her to make it more attentive. Wife to her husband: Sasha, sweetheart, again your mother finds fault with me. Today I poured the soup into the toilet, so my mother burst into the toilet and began demonstratively washing off the bucket. Could not you wait for the water to get into the tank? Then she opened the window everywhere. Does she have a climax? And such dialogues can be continued indefinitely. Then they grow into open conflicts. What advise in this situation? Psychologists recommend to sit down at the negotiating table. But it is advised only by those specialists who did not live with their mother-in-law. Wise experienced say: "Run while the family is safe!"

Hooray! We live separately!

Well? Escaped from the enemy captivity? Vite your own nest and remember your mother-in-law, like a terrible dream? Early rejoice. Mom's husband will visit you. And let the portion of the negative be significantly less than if you lived with it under the same roof, it will definitely be. In the statute of every young wife with the blood of his predecessors it is written: "Lick the apartment before the arrival of the mother-in-law". Very wise advice. Because every feather found on the carpet threatens to turn into a long lecture about slut women. Have you cleaned the apartment so that you can eat from the floor and drink tea from the toilet? That's not all. Now drag your husband into the bathroom, make you shave, and in the meantime, iron out the weekend pants. What's the point of this? Show how well you care about her little son. And God forbid he would have a microscopic hole on his socks! Any potential mother-in-law will start sewing these socks first, and then it will take for the rest of the wardrobe. I hope that you have all your things packed neatly? And the thread in a box of different colors? How can you not like to sew? Any self-respecting housewife will have threads for every pair of her husband's socks. You will not have that much? Do not worry, your mother-in-law will definitely give you a whole box of threads after a two-hour sewing of socks.

Her mother-in-law became a grandmother

Oh my God! This is my son! My blood! See how beautiful he is. There will be a thunderstorm for all the girls! At this moment you do not think about your mother-in-law. All thoughts are occupied by their beloved newborn son. You are so happy that you are ready to forgive all your grievances. Mom for the fact that she did not buy the prom dress you asked for. Father, who did not let go to the most important party in your life. Husband for the fact that he does not look at you with the same loving eyes as before. Mother-in-law for eternal bullying. But with the last forgiveness you obviously hurried. Because, soon you will have to listen to the dangers of diapers for boys, how to properly swaddle the children, how many hours a day to walk with the baby. Your mother-in-law with double force will start to patronize the young, complaining displeased at the irrationality of the young housewives and on the hands that the newly-made mothers grow .... However, no matter where they grow. How to deal with this? In order to understand this, imagine that your little son has grown up.

We change roles. You are your mother-in-law

Presented? Save a little more imagination. Here he fell in love and disappears for days on end at some girl. Has come, at last. And he did not even eat. And you cooked pies for a whole day with cabbage. His beloved. And borsch warmed up. Why not eat? Light fed. What is this Light ?? It turns out that her pies are more delicious than her mother's? Stop. Feel a wave of resentment and jealousy that runs through your blood? You do not yet know the girl's son, but do not love her any more. For pies. With cabbage. Which your son ate instead of yours. And even brought pies with him! This is already a form of mockery! What does this snot imagine? Does she think I can not cook? Or is my family starving? ... .Did you bring me? No thanks. I do not eat flour for the night. Especially not clear who cooked. And now imagine that Sveta will settle in your house and start baking the most notorious pies in your kitchen? How does it feel? Do you want to kill someone? If yes, congratulations. You have joined the ranks of the mother-in-law. And let your son still sleep in the cradle. You no longer want to share it with anyone.

Wisdom, patience and kindness

Now that you've been in your role for a secondin-law, we will learn to get along with her. It's time. And it does not matter that your marriage has been for many years. And there is as much hostility to the mother-in-law, if not more. Better late than never. So, we will develop a relationship strategy.

• First point - Gratitude

For what to thank? Do not rush to argue and argue that you do not have to thank this grymza. And what about your husband? After all, it was his mother-in-law who gave birth, brought up and brought up. And if it were not for her, maybe he would not have been so wonderful. But you have the best one. Right? If you after many years of open hostility begin to rush to the mother-in-law's neck with words of gratitude, you will at least not understand, but as a maximum - will cause the ambulance. It is best to do this at the birthday of her husband. Do not dare say it in person? Tell me by phone. Call your mother-in-law and thank that she gave birth and brought up such a son. This is completely to the point.

• Point two - We are advised

I know how you do not like listening to eternal teachingsmother-in-law. And I represent the expression of your face after you have read the next paragraph of the plan. But take my word for it. It works. Of course, you've been baking pies with cabbage since the age of 13, and you do not need advice. I have no doubt that you knead the dough with your eyes closed. But there is something that you do not know how, but can your mother-in-law do? Remember your favorite husband's salad, which for some reason you can not. Maybe it has some secret? And from whom do you ask? You guessed it?

• Point three - Praise

If you do not turn your tongue to praise a new onehairstyle of mother-in-law (really, it's hard to call hair over peroxide hair a hairdo), praise her son. Remember, how did you have young moms in the sandbox, who admired your son? You wanted to communicate with them again and again, did not you? And all because they expressed your point of view out loud. A little later you will learn to praise the charlotte of her mother-in-law, her ability to choose wallpaper and wash any stains from her clothes. And further (oh, miracle) you will wait for praise from your mother-in-law. No, no, the hail of frogs will not go away, and the world will not collapse. Everything will remain as it was. Just my husband's mother will start to treat you a little better.

• Fourth item - Give presents

Yes, everything is so corny. But the simpler the method, the better it works. It is important to give not what you do not need (each of us has a penalty shelf in the closet, where unwanted gifts are sent, which are then safely transferred). In the end, if you do not like the cut in terrible rosettes, why should your mother-in-law be delighted with him? Give from the heart. Do you like the mother of her husband violets? Find a rare variety and present it as a gift. It is not necessary to wait for a date. Give simply. Moreover, the more thoughtful the present will be, the greater the effect you will be able to achieve with it. One more thing: give yourself. You do not need to send your husband with bundles. I understand that the mother-in-law's face is the last thing you want to see. However, I emphasize once again: give yourself. Let pleasant presents are associated with you, not with your beloved son.

• Point Five - When Strategies Fail

Unfortunately, this happens in every secondfamily. A young wife of mother-in-law and floors rubs herself, presents presents, and meets her from the bus so that the "second mother" does not carry heavy bags, and unless she does not kiss her lips. And still not nice. Remember how in a joke? A son comes to the mother with three girls. "Mom, I'm getting married." Guess which of them is my bride. - And that one. Extreme left. - Right! How did you guess? - She did not like me right away. So in life. Therefore, if you have tried all the options, and your mother-in-law still persuades your son to divorce, change the tactics. To begin with, become independent of the mother of the husband. This concerns the housing issue and monetary relations. Very often parents financially support their children. And it's not bad. However, in your case you will have to refuse money. And then arrange the red flags. Yes, you get up at 10am. And you do not like breakfast, not with cereal, but with sandwiches. And give your son not to dance, as my grandmother wanted, but on karate to learn how to give change. And ... ..I think you'll find something to add to this long list. After all, why should you rebuild your life just for someone's whim, right? We advise you to read:

Comments

comments