Jealousy is the sister of love, just as the devil- brother of angels. (V. Shakespeare) Male jealousy exists as much as humanity itself. And in far primitive times, and in our age of high technology, men have been and continue to be owners - that's their psychology. Well, they can not easily survive the fact that other males stare at their women, they immediately calculate in the mind the possible consequences of random encounters, unexpected calls and simply interested views of their "rivals". Some women like this attitude, because it proves that a man is not indifferent to his beloved and is afraid of losing her. But there are women who for many years endure the groundless, pathological jealousy of their men, accompanied by scandals and even beatings. Why are men jealous and how to cope with their jealousy?
Causes of male jealousy
There are thousands of reasons why menare jealous of their women. Now we are not talking about justified jealousy, when a woman herself gives reason to doubt her loyalty and decency. Unfortunately, most of the time men indulge their girlfriends for absolutely innocent reasons, somehow a smile of an unfamiliar passer-by or a bouquet on the 8th of March from the boss at work. They see a threat to relations where it does not exist and can not be, leading the woman to white heat. So, what makes men behave this way? They measure on their arshin Conversations about the polygamousness of men are no longer surprising. You see, nature has created them by such males-conquerors who need to drag as many women into bed as possible to realize their own "professionalism". And wives or girlfriends, waiting at home, do not stop them from continuing to assert themselves with some extraneous ladies on the side. That's just the idea that their legitimate second half suddenly want to establish themselves through their sexuality with the help of other men, leads them into a frenzy. They will not allow anyone to instruct themselves horns, and their own treason - and not treason at all, and so, pampering. How, since thoughts about adultery are visited by them, then who can exclude the possibility of such desires from their wives? "Since other women's wives are having sex with me, that means my wife can also do the same" - that's where the feet of these jealous men grow! And because they "graze" they are their hapless girlfriends, strictly suppressing any attempts of the spouses to communicate with other representatives of the stronger sex. Be it a young fellow of ordinary-looking appearance from a neighboring entrance, or a respectable elder of an intelligent kind with noble gray hair on his temples. It does not matter how great the chance of "rivals" really interested in a woman: it's important to notice and stop any attempts! And from here begin the strictest conditions, according to which the girl should not be painted, wear skirts above the knees and generally talk with any homo sapiens who is not a legal spouse. Otherwise, reproaches, scandals, insults, exhaustion of nerves. It's nothing that at home the tense situation and the tearful wife, the main thing is unmarried male honor and confidence in the absence of horns on such clever, able to count the moves to the head. The desire to assert themselves There are men who are jealous and scandalous with their wives only because they want to assert themselves at their expense. Weak by nature, they often fail both in building a career, and in trying to "shine" with their masculinity and power in the eyes of others. That's why they are looking for the slightest reasons for recouping their own wife. And jealousy is an excellent reason to be rude, insult, humiliate and "put in place." So they harass their wretched wives with cavils and accusations. It gives them great pleasure to feel like a master in a house that has the right to urge a resigned wife - even if she answers for all the wrongs caused by fate. And blaming his wife for adultery, men in the depths of their hearts understand the baselessness of their words, but eventually convince themselves of their rightness and begin to believe that the woman is indeed wrong. This self-hypnosis is even good for them: perfidy and injustice of everything that surrounds them is obvious, which means that the fault for all the failures in life lies on someone else. For example, on the traitor wife. All attempts by a woman to justify herself and prove her innocence lead nowhere. No matter how much she wants to explain the injustice of reproaches and how obediently she made concessions (sometimes absolutely ridiculous!), Her husband's behavior does not change. On the contrary, every time a wife begins to justify herself, the man becomes even more convinced of his "rightness". All the excuses he takes for the fading, further confirming the guilt. And every such scandal, when a wife makes concessions, will only raise his self-esteem and make him continue his favorite line of conduct. Uncertainty Sometimes a man who began to meet with a girl he liked, or even married to a beloved woman, can not fully believe in his own happiness. Because deep down he thinks that he is not worthy of such a beauty, clever, etc. Uncertainty in himself makes him doubt the sincerity of the partner's feelings and constantly wait for a dirty trick in the form of her betrayal and severing the relationship. That's why this type of men prefers to control every step of their passion in fear of being abandoned and humiliated. There is always someone who can be worthy, smarter, more attractive and stronger than him, so this person harasses himself and his companion with constant scandals and accusations. Trying to always keep his hand on the pulse of events, the man hopes not to miss the dangerous moment and force the woman to abandon her "insidious plans". In the course there is everything: from attempts to induce feelings of pity to real threats. Some especially "neglected copies" even blackmail their friends, promising to commit suicide, if they do not come to their senses and stop "changing" them. Rich imagination Some guys like to inflate an elephant out of a fly. Did the stranger gaze on you? So, you have known him for a long time and are making secret meetings, otherwise why is he smiling so mysteriously? And if you have a non-business executive called and asked for a small consultation on a business issue, then the real meaning of this call is clear: you are encrypted and agree on another appointment. By the way, is that why you were recently promoted? Such men find evidence of "infidelity" of their wives everywhere and continue to suffer suspicions even when they are alone with their woman: suddenly now she is thinking of someone else? Their imagination rages, logical conclusions go beyond all limits of reality. That is why it is practically impossible to explain or prove such a person to such a person. Sometimes women, worn out by constant accusations and scandals about their "infidelity", begin to sincerely wish to change their tormentor really: if you really endure, so at least be for what!
What is jealousy?
Whatever one may say, jealousy can also be different. Otherwise, some young ladies would not be tempted to cause it artificially, wanting to once again make sure of the love of their boyfriend. But some ladies are not up to complacency: the jealousy of their men goes beyond all boundaries, and sometimes becomes a threat to life! Easy, pleasant jealousy Agree that if a man is not a bit jealous, it's even unpleasant. Let's say you danced the entire party with some macho, and the husband did not brow. Still as calm, sweet and indifferent to male attention to you. This is where you want him to look you menacingly, or even call a poor macho to "talk". That's about such jealousy they say, they say, is jealous - that means, he loves. And she does not give special troubles to the woman, of course, if she does not go beyond what is permissible. Normal, easy jealousy is a perfectly normal feeling. Men are proprietors, and do not want to share what is dear to them, to someone else. Rather, this feeling suggests that a man is really indifferent to his girlfriend and is making serious plans about a joint future. And because such a sweet jealousy is only welcomed by absolutely all representatives of the weaker sex. Exaggerated jealousy Alas, not every man is able to think logically when it comes to jealousy. Instead of mild anxiety, such people experience painful experiences, fearing to be deceived by their woman. They tirelessly control the partners: they check phones, do not allow to communicate with friends, call to work to clarify the location of their lady. And for a five-minute delay, a real scandal can be arranged: they say that during this time you can commit adultery. What is most interesting, on the part of such people can be very attractive - sociable and friendly, causing good disposition among people. And only a wife can know what this man really is - a suspicious, nervous, ignorant man of reason. It's not easy to live with such jealous people, because a woman must constantly control her behavior, being afraid to commit a reckless act. When talking with her husband, she carefully selects words, fearing to push him into negative thoughts, with strangers behaving "quieter than water, below the grass" - just to avoid domestic scandals. Gradually, she moves away from her circle of acquaintances - friends, girlfriends and even relatives. Because the norms of behavior imposed on her by her husband are not compatible with the principles of friendly communication. Very often the wives of such hypertrophied jealousy cease to follow their appearance and begin to turn into unattractive, aging individuals. Their husbands are only on hand - so there is much less chance that someone will "bite" at such a ugly woman. Pathological jealousy A person with pathological jealousy is an extreme case. Unfortunately, this does not mean that such cases are rare. Uncontrollable, unrestrained jealousy is akin to a disease - a man does not control his actions at all and is capable of bringing a woman not only moral humiliation, but also physical punishment. He does not need to look for reasons to doubt his wife's infidelity - he sees them everywhere. And it does not matter which line of behavior his woman builds-trying to fight his attacks or submissively demolishing what is happening-in any case he will continue to treat her. One can argue for a long time about what makes women continue to live with such pathological jealousy. Maybe a financial predicament, a fear of loneliness, or even fear for one's life. In any case, they will not be envied. Especially terrible is a person in a state of intoxication - and, as a rule, people with uncontrollable jealousy are prone to drunkenness. In this state they are capable not only of beatings, but even of killing. And cases of such crimes in the judicial practice - a great many.
How to deal with jealousy
If you are lucky and your man is jealous of youinsignificant degree, but only so that you once again feel loved, then do nothing. Enjoy life and bathe in his attention. If the male jealousy gives you a lot of inconvenience, but while you love this person and do not want to part with it, you should fight for your quiet life. We present to your attention several ways to combat the jealousy of a man.
- How trivial it may sound, but simplytry not to give cause for jealousy. He does not like that your male colleagues call you outside of business hours? Just agree with them that you can solve all business issues only in the office. It annoys him that on general gatherings with friends you dress too sexy? And this is not a problem: it is not so difficult to look modest and stylish, you will not be left out of such concessions. And so on and so forth. Calm the sick pride of your man and let him know that you do not want to provoke him into jealousy.
- More often tell a man how much you care for himlove and that no man can compare with him. Believe me, not only women "love with ears": guys also want to be told about feelings. Of course, you should not turn the words of confessions into eternal lisp - men do not tolerate it. But here to make it clear at the right time that he is the one and only, just necessary.
- Learn to calmly react to his accusations oftreason, because you know something, on whose side the truth! If each time with foam at the mouth to prove their innocence, then the manner to take you out of yourself and relieve stress through scandals will enter into his habit. If the quarrel is not avoided - go to another room. Give him a chance to cool down and think about his behavior.
- Try using examples to explain to him thatunreasonable jealousy is able to destroy even the purest, brightest relations. Do not hesitate to tell us about the feelings you feel when listening to unfair accusations and accusations. In the end, he married you, he promised to protect and protect you, as the apple of his eye. And instead, exhausts your nerves with ridiculous suspicions, destroying your mental health.
Note that all these methods are good, if onlyyour man does not belong to the category of pathological jealousy. Otherwise, all the efforts and tricks will be for nothing. This painful condition can be tried to cure by contacting specialists, but this requires the patient's desire to change. And this, as a rule, does not happen. Such people are sure that they are right about everything, and they will not admit of their mental imbalance for anything. But love works wonders, and if your jealous genius really needs you, then you can agree to try to cure your illness. In all other cases, the only advice for women in this situation is to run away from their tormentor. The threat to health and life is more important than your attachment to this person. Neither the birth of children, nor the rejection of all their habits and norms of behavior will not make the pathological jealous person change. And once you are free, you will find your happiness - the only one who can really appreciate your wounded heart. We advise you to read: