Romance, secret meetings, passionate sex.And then the painful anticipation, jealousy, tears in the pillow. And practically no hope that the man you love will move in with you forever. So, a woman fell in love with a married man. What to do in such a situation? Leave everything as is, enjoying fleeting meetings? Try to divorce him from his wife and find personal happiness? Break off the painful relationship and look for a new love? Being the mistress of a married man is not the best and not the easiest fate for a woman. And many made a vow to themselves that they would never repeat such a mistake again. But not everyone succeeds. There is a type of women who fall in love with married men again and again. What is this, karma? A crown of celibacy? How easy it is to explain your own actions with such things. And convenient, isn't it? But in fact, women themselves plunge themselves into these painful experiences. Why painful? Because the beloved, although nearby, does not belong to the woman. In order to understand this situation and what to do next, you need to know all the intricacies of this delicate issue - an affair with a married man.
Young girls in danger
Most often, young people fall into the nets of married menimmature girls. Perhaps, in their chosen one they see a father, whom they so lacked in life. Or maybe they are infatuated with an adult man, bestowing gifts and compliments. Men are attracted to the youth and inexperience of young girls. With them, they feel younger, full of strength and youthful recklessness. But at the same time, they feel more confident - a kind of brutal man. They set a goal to mold an image from a young girlfriend that will satisfy all their requirements. The first few months, everything can be just perfect. But only at first glance. Judge for yourself - a woman falls in love, with all the ensuing consequences. But instead of complete and undivided attention, there are rare calls, hasty dates. She is deprived of even the simplest, but such pleasant little things - to write a text message to her beloved or just call when she wants. And not frantically guess whether the wife will be nearby. Holidays alone, alone in the evenings. Sooner or later, a woman loses her mental balance and falls into despair, not knowing what to do next. Often, such a "psychological breakdown" is very, very dangerous for women. From a young age, they get used to the idea that their lot is second place, that the joys of fleeting encounters are enough for their happiness. It is good if a young girl, taught by bitter experience, no longer falls for such a bait. Otherwise, she can spend her whole life on those who see her as just a backup airfield.
Mistress as entertainment for a woman
Some psychologists believe that womenhave an affair with a married man if they are afraid of the responsibility of a family relationship. They like the adrenaline that secret meetings give, the "illegality" itself excites them. "I need it like air," they say. In order to understand whether this is really so, answer the question honestly: what will you do if he decides to stay with you, divorces his wife and marries you? Will the charm of novelty and the joy of the relationship disappear? Perhaps your love for a married man is just a game, a cure for boredom. In this case, you should seriously think about it: are you ready to exchange your youth for an unnecessary relationship, or is it time to build your own family? The lack of responsibility is addictive. And in the event of a breakup with one "married man", you can fall into the same traps again and again and fall in love with a married man.
Fear of loneliness
Many women over 30 years of age do notIt is not so easy to find a suitable man. By that time, most worthy candidates have already created their own families, and the others are often not satisfactory. The chance to become attached to someone else's husband is quite high. Single mature women find solace in relationships that somehow fill the spiritual emptiness. They understand with their minds what pain they cause the family of their chosen one, but the sense of self-preservation prevails. At least a little, at least a couple of years - but to feel needed and desired. Imagine that you are very hungry. But, for some reason, you consider normal food impossible for you. Therefore, you drink water, trying to drown out your hunger. For some time, the hunger subsides, but after a while you want to eat again. The same thing happens with a man who is tied to obligations to another family. No matter how often you receive him, the feeling of spiritual hunger does not go away, it flares up with renewed vigor as soon as he leaves the door. After all, water will never replace normal food. In order to prolong the relationship and keep this man near you, you find many ways to tie him to yourself. This includes great sex, and attention to his problems, affection and tenderness. Perhaps, if he were your husband, you would not give him even half, but - in war, as in war. Your spiritual hunger is so strong that the need for saturation overcomes all moral principles and pity for his family. What awaits these unfortunate women? An eternal mistress is a sad sight. Alone all her life, without children. Lonely holidays, sad weekends - these are the days that married men prefer to spend with their families. Remember the movie "Winter Cherry"? Its heroine suffered from loneliness and pain for years. So is it worth repeating other people's mistakes? Ask yourself - what awaits me in the future?
Why do men need this?
Men who seek meetings on the side rarelyfeel remorse. They justify their behavior by saying that they are simply tired of everyday problems, they are bored with home sex, they deserve a break from their usual routine. Moreover, the main consolation is that they are not going to leave their wife and children. Sexual relations with one and only woman are rare among men. Conquering new representatives of the fair sex is a kind of self-affirmation, proof of their leadership and obvious masculinity. Coming to you, they again feel like sexy machos, romantic heroes. And your desire to keep him and avoid quarrels makes the relationship with you very comfortable. Subconsciously, men understand perfectly well that if they create a real family with you, the same problems will appear as with their wife. At home, he has a cozy, familiar apartment, an established life. Moving to an unknown place and starting all over again - such a prospect is not to anyone's taste. So what is the point of destroying old relationships for your sake? Men will always find a thousand and one reasons why they cannot leave their family and, as a result, will never marry you. Often, men explain to their mistresses their reluctance to leave their family by the fact that they have children. At first, they are worried that the child is still small and they cannot leave him without a father. Then the child goes to school and needs the care and control of both parents. Later, adolescence begins, which can break the child's unstable psyche. Then his son or daughter learns to build their own relationships and they do not need a bad example. Well, maybe when the grandchildren grow up ... But by that time you will not only not have your own grandchildren, but also a normal family. Guarding someone else's happiness for years, you can remain a lonely and unhappy woman for the rest of your life. While your girlfriends are babysitting their own babies, you will be running around children's stores, buying toys for his child. Is any, even the strongest love worth such sacrifices? By the way, if a man leaves a family with a child, he will have to pay alimony. You'd be surprised how many men don't get divorced for this reason alone.
Imaginary fidelity
Sometimes a woman sincerely believes the words of her lover,that he does not sleep with his wife, but only with her. This spurs her desire to continue the relationship with him. If the spouse does not have a serious illness that prevents her from having sex (and this is unlikely), then your man is lying. Any woman should be sure that she is the only one for her partner. A man knows the rules of this game very well: at home he swears fidelity to his wife, and tells you that he sleeps only with you. Surely he combines sex with two women and gets great pleasure from it. If you have fallen in love with a married man, then the fate of picking up crumbs from someone else's table is inevitable. No matter how much you convince yourself that he loves only you, perhaps his body has not yet cooled down from the caresses of another woman. And you will not be able to change anything.
The image of a caring husband
If your lover has already managed to meet youbuild a successful career, then this is another argument in favor of not leaving your family. It is known that in the eyes of the public, a man who left his wife and child for his mistress does not inspire confidence. That's just how people are. We are not talking about people from show business, where such relationships are the norm. But if a man is a politician or a successful businessman, he will do his best to maintain the position of a loving and caring spouse. And for this, no rash steps should be taken. He will try to hide your existence in any way, and creating a new family hearth is out of the question. A woman who fell in love with a married careerist must be ready for loneliness. No matter how touchingly her lover treats her, he will never put his career, earned by hard work, at risk.
And what should I do?
What to do if you fell in love with a married mana man? First of all, think about yourself. If you are ready to be a life-saving buoy, a temporary shelter, a backup airfield - it means you do not value yourself. Don't you want a normal family, so that your husband comes to you every day from work, takes care of you during pregnancy, raises children with you? Every woman, from a very young age, dreams of a white wedding dress, a beautiful wedding, a long and happy married life. If you do not dare to break off a vicious relationship, then your dream may not come true. After all, it is unlikely that you can achieve something if you do nothing. Even if you manage to insist on your own and the man leaves his family for you, you will make three people unhappy at once. The wife, who will suffer greatly. The man, tormented by remorse. You - all the experiences of the lover will be written on your face. Moreover, in eighty cases out of a hundred, husbands still return to their ex-wives after a few years - they have too many ties to them. Are you ready for such experiences? Isn't it easier to let the man go and start living your own, full life? Of course, it is difficult to step over your feelings, but after an illness, healing will definitely come. There is such an ancient legend about King Solomon. There lived a wise King Solomon and he wore a ring on his hand with the engraving "everything passes." No matter what trouble happened, he looked at the wise inscription, and the anxiety left him, making him stronger and firmer. One day his son died and King Solomon threw the ring on the ground in a rage. Then he noticed another inscription on the inside of the ring: "this too passes." Be strong and wise. The fact that a woman fell in love with a "busy" man does not make her worse. But the fact that she did not find the strength in herself not to destroy someone else's and her own happiness will give her many bitter tears and experiences in the future. Let him go, look around: perhaps your true happiness is somewhere nearby! We recommend reading: