Surely many of us have suffered at least onceonce material losses. Someone's friend borrowed money for a large purchase, and then "forgot" to return it or began to claim that it was your voluntary gift. Someone lost a wallet in which was all the salary. And someone lost a well-paid job. Someone's husband became a guarantor for a friend who took out a loan, and then was forced to pay off the debt of a bankrupt loser. Someone's business went bankrupt. You never know what can happen! But the trouble is that in addition to financial losses, there is also emotional fallout that falls on the person who lost money. He is literally thrown off track and does not know how to survive the loss of money. There is nothing surprising in the fact that people grieve over lost money, jobs, apartments or cars. And here's why: any kind of loss causes a natural reaction - sadness. Try to remember how you felt when you lost something. Maybe it was a pet, a relationship with a loved one, a stolen car, or your favorite project at work. Have you experienced any of these emotions?
- Sadness
- Anger
- Feelings of guilt, self-flagellation
- Anxiety
- Feeling of loneliness
- Shock
- Yearning
Or such behavioral features:
- Social self-isolation
- Nervousness
- Scattering
- Cry
- Insomnia or drowsiness
- Disorders of appetite
This is not a complete list of feelings, emotions and patterns.behaviors that are characteristic of the grieving process. And if you have experienced any of them, then you have most likely experienced grief. We are accustomed to the idea that we can only experience grief after a loved one dies. We are not inclined to acknowledge our feelings, such as sadness, when we lose something other than a loved one. But when it comes to financial losses, it is not only about money. It would not affect us emotionally so devastatingly if only money was lost. We suffer other losses along with a sudden drop in assets. What kind? Let's talk about losing a really significant amount of money from a worldly perspective and look at some examples of how it can affect your life and your plans.
What can be affected by a major financial loss?
Retirement plans.Perhaps you were putting money aside so that you wouldn’t have to live in poverty after you retired. Or to buy a house closer to nature. Or to go on a long trip. And now you’ve somehow lost that money. Or you’ve lost your job and are now forced to live on the money you wanted to put aside. Savings for your children’s education. You were thinking about your children going to study in another city, and you wanted to be prepared to financially support them throughout their years of study. Or you were planning to take advantage of a paid form of education. A house or apartment. Perhaps you took out loans, and now you don’t know how to pay them off and the accrued interest. Will you have to sell your home to pay back the bank? Social status. You were once a successful, highly paid specialist, and now you’re an unemployed housewife who is forced to helplessly watch as her husband, struggling to provide for the family and pay the mortgage, tries to do so alone. Lifestyle. Your life may have been very eventful before this loss. Eating well, going to resorts or traveling the world, buying gifts for friends and family… Many of the things that seemed self-evident are now out of reach. Life script. When you were very young, you made up a life script for yourself. “I will be a doctor.” “I want to work with animals.” “I will become an actress.” As you got older, you expanded your script: “I will get a good education, get a great job, get married and live an interesting, happy life!” Most likely, your script did not include something like “I will lose all my savings at 50” or “I am going to trust someone with all my money to have it stolen from me and I will have to work again at 70.” Or “I will buy the house of my dreams, and then take out loans and have to sell it.” Sudden changes in your life and the collapse of your dream greatly exacerbate the emotions that arise from a financial loss. A person experiences real grief, he does not know how to survive the loss. The situation is aggravated by the fact that, despite all the similarities between the emotions and the emotions of losing a loved one, there are still some differences:
- Perception of the event by others. It's one thing to tell someone that your mother died, and it's quite another to say that you lost money, for example, in a financial pyramid. You hardly sympathize. And anyway, we usually do not communicate with friends and acquaintances on issues related to money. So there remains a man with his grief alone.
- Refusal to realize grief. Usually, those who lost money think: "I should not be so killed, as if someone died." Yes, fortunately, the loss of money is not the same as the death of a loved one. But you can not devalue your feelings, you can not drive them inside yourself.
- Lack of social ritual for such grief. We have a lot of rituals related to death: funerals, wake ceremonies, mourning, etc. All this helps to survive the death of a loved one and adapt to a world in which there is no longer a dear person to us. But there is absolutely nothing that would help us somehow survive the grief of the big financial losses. And the person besides grief still has a feeling of complete collapse of all life.
So it's all really quiteis hard to survive, isn't it? It is hard if you don't know how to survive the loss of a large sum of money and financial well-being correctly. After all, even in such difficult times for you, there is an opportunity not only to recover from the loss, but even to begin to prosper. We will tell you what to do to better endure the psychological burden, recover from the shock and return to normal life.
How to survive and start to prosper by bearing financial losses
First, let's talk about how to survive financial losses:
- Allow yourself to accept the loss
Accept the fact that this loss is realhappened to you. At first, your consciousness will refuse to accept what happened as reality. This is normal, because denial is a strong defense mechanism. It protects you from pain until you are ready to cope with it. And when you catch yourself thinking: “Even if at the new job I get only half of what I got before, we will still be able to live as before,” it means that you still refuse to accept the loss. But it is necessary to assess the situation as soon as possible and accept its reality in order to look for a way out of the current situation. Allow yourself to grieve for what you have lost. You really experienced the loss. It is necessary to give vent to your emotions - to cry, to grieve. If you hide your feelings and pretend that nothing happened, you will only increase stress and overload your nervous system. It won’t take long to get sick! Don’t resist. This does not mean that you should give in. But it does mean that you must admit, just as you admitted your emotions, that you have experienced financial losses and your situation has worsened. Such recognition, as opposed to self-deception (like, everything will be as before...), will help you think and act constructively to correct the situation.
- Create and use your support system
Find people you can trust:Friends, family, and like-minded people. Gather your support team. They will sympathize and help you the same way they would help you if you lost a loved one. Accept their help! Talk. Giving vent to your feelings alone is one thing, but talking about your feelings with friends is quite another. And you should talk not so much about the loss itself (what and how much you lost), but about the emotions that this loss evokes in you. This is very important, because it is a good way to “process” your grief and not get stuck in it.
- Change your view of what is happening
Stop lamenting.Of course, it is easier said than done; but by remembering this bitter moment over and over again, trying to “fix” the situation in the past, you will harm yourself today. You will significantly narrow the scope of your world, leaving room only for this problem and making it the only one in your life. Leave what happened in the past. Life goes on. Expand your focus and see what else is important in your life. Even the most devastating bankruptcy can be survived. It is not cancer after all… Remember your previous difficulties. When you faced this loss, you may have thought - this is the worst thing that could happen to you. Perhaps it is. But you have probably encountered some difficulties in your life before, because everyone has their share of trials. Agree that previous difficulties did not resolve themselves, you had to make a lot of effort to overcome them. Let your past victories give you courage and serve as motivation to overcome this obstacle. Don't dwell in the past or look ahead; think about today. This is also difficult. It's understandable to have thoughts and worries about what will happen to you next. But instead of dwelling on the past or panicking about the future, think about what's happening right now. Occupy your thoughts with finding a solution to the problem, rather than mourning your future, think about what you can do today.
And now - about what can be done for the future prosperity:
That you will quickly recover from financiallosses, of course, will not mean that you will return the lost money. But it will mean that you have learned to survive in a difficult situation, and will prosper in the future. How do you prefer to perceive your loss - as a defeat or as a new opportunity? We recommend reading:
