Surely many of us at least once, but sufferedsometime material losses. Someone's friend lent money for a major purchase, and then "forgot" to return or began to claim that it was your voluntary gift. Someone lost the purse in which the entire salary lay. And someone lost a well-paid job. Someone's husband became a surety of a borrowed friend, and then had to repay the debt of a bankrupt loser. Someone has burned down his business. Yes, you never know what can happen! But the trouble is that in addition to financial losses, there are also emotional precipitations that fall on the person who lost money. He is literally knocked out and does not know how to survive the loss of money. There is nothing surprising in that people mourn about lost money, jobs, apartments or cars. And that's why: any kind of loss causes a natural reaction - sadness. Try to remember your condition when you lost something. Maybe it was a pet, a relationship with a loved one, a stolen car or your favorite project at work. Have you experienced any of these emotions?
- Feelings of guilt, self-flagellation
- Feeling of loneliness
Or such features of behavior:
- Social self-isolation
- Insomnia or drowsiness
- Disorders of appetite
This is an incomplete list of feelings, emotions and patternsbehavior, which are typical for the process of mourning. And if you encountered any of them - it means that you, most likely, experienced a grief. We are used to the idea that grief can only be experienced after the loved one that we love is dying. We do not tend to recognize our feelings as sad, when we lose something other than a loved one. But when it comes to financial losses, it's not just about money. It would not have acted on us emotionally so destructively if only money had been lost. We suffer other losses along with a sudden drop in assets. What kind? Let's talk about losing a really significant amount of money from an everyday point of view and consider a few examples of how this can affect your life and your plans.
What can be affected by a major financial loss?
Plans for retirement. Perhaps you put money aside so that you do not need it after retirement. Or to buy a house closer to nature. Or go on a long journey. And now you somehow lost this money. Or they lost their jobs, and now they have to live on money that they wanted to put off. Savings for the education of children. You thought about the fact that your children will go to study in another city, and you would like to be ready to materially support them all the years of study. Or you planned to use paid form of training. House or apartment. Perhaps you took out loans, and now you do not know how to pay them and run up interest. Do not you have to sell your home to return the bank debt? Social status. You were once a successful high-paying specialist, and now you are an unemployed housewife, who is forced to watch helplessly as a husband struggling to get by, trying to secure a family and pay a mortgage. Life style. Your life may have been very intense before this loss. Good food, rest at resorts or travel around the world, buying presents to friends and relatives ... Much of what seemed to be taken for granted became now inaccessible. Scenario of life. When you were very young, you came up with a life scenario for yourself. "I will be a doctor". "I want to work with animals." "I will become an actress". When you grew older, you expanded your script: "I will get a good education, get a great job, marry and live an interesting, happy life!" Most likely, your script did not include something like "I will lose all my savings at 50 years old "or" I'm going to entrust someone with all my money to get them stolen from me, and I'll work again at 70 years old. " Or, "I will buy the house of my dreams, and then I will collect loans and will have to sell it." Sharp changes in your life and the collapse of a dream greatly exacerbate those emotions that arise with financial loss. A person experiences a real grief, he does not know how to survive the loss. The situation is aggravated by the fact that, for all the similarity of emotions with emotions in the loss of a loved one, there are some differences:
- Perception of the event by others. It's one thing to tell someone that your mother died, and it's quite another to say that you lost money, for example, in a financial pyramid. You hardly sympathize. And anyway, we usually do not communicate with friends and acquaintances on issues related to money. So there remains a man with his grief alone.
- Refusal to realize grief. Usually, those who lost money think: "I should not be so killed, as if someone died." Yes, fortunately, the loss of money is not the same as the death of a loved one. But you can not devalue your feelings, you can not drive them inside yourself.
- Lack of social ritual for such grief. We have a lot of rituals related to death: funerals, wake ceremonies, mourning, etc. All this helps to survive the death of a loved one and adapt to a world in which there is no longer a dear person to us. But there is absolutely nothing that would help us somehow survive the grief of the big financial losses. And the person besides grief still has a feeling of complete collapse of all life.
So, it's all really prettydifficult to survive, is not it? It is difficult, if you do not know how to survive the loss of a large amount of money and financial well-being correctly. Even in such difficult times for you there is an opportunity not only to recover from the loss, but even to start to prosper. We will tell you what to do to better transfer the psychological load, recover from the shock and return to normal life.
How to survive and start to prosper by bearing financial losses
First, let's talk about how to survive financial losses:
- Allow yourself to accept the loss
Accept the fact that this loss is in facthappened to you. At first, your consciousness will refuse to accept what happened as a reality. This is normal, because denial is a strong defense mechanism. It protects you from pain until you are ready to deal with it. And when you catch yourself thinking: "Even if in the new job I get only half of what I received before, we can still live as before", it means that you still refuse to accept the loss. But it is necessary to assess the situation as soon as possible and accept its reality in order to find a way out of the situation that has arisen. Allow yourself to grieve about what you have lost. You really experienced a loss. It is necessary to give vent to their emotions - to cry, to burn. If you hide your feelings and pretend that nothing has happened, you will only increase stress and overload your nervous system. So not be ill for long! Do not resist. This does not mean that you must surrender. But that means that you have to admit, just like acknowledging your emotions, that you have experienced financial losses and your situation has worsened. Such recognition, unlike self-deception (they say, everything will be as before ...), will help you to think and act constructively to correct the situation.
- Create and use your support system
Find people you can trust: friends, family, people close in spirit. Collect your support team. They will sympathize and help you in the same way as they would help with the loss of a loved one. Take their help! Speak. To give vent to your feelings alone with yourself is one thing, and talking about your feelings with friends is another. Moreover, it is necessary to talk not so much about the loss (how much you lost), how much about your emotions, which this loss causes. This is very important, because it is a good way to "rework" your grief and not get stuck in it.
- Change your view of what is happening
Stop being lamented. Of course, this is easier said than done; but, remembering this bitter moment again and again, trying to "fix" the situation in the past, you will harm yourself today. You significantly reduce the scope of your world, leaving there only a place for this problem and making it unique in your life. Leave what happened in the past. Life goes on. Expand your focus and see what else is important in your life. Even after the most devastating bankruptcy, you can survive. It's not cancer ... Remember your previous difficulties. When you ran into this loss, you might have thought it was the worst thing that could happen to you. Perhaps it is. But surely before, you have met with some difficulties in your life, because each person falls a lot of tests. Agree that the previous difficulties were not solved by themselves, you had to make a lot of efforts to overcome them. May your past victories give you courage and motivation to overcome this barrier. Do not stay in the past and do not run ahead; think about today. This is also not easy. It is understandable your thoughts and worries about what will happen to you next. But instead of thinking about the events of the past or panicking before the future, better think about what is happening right now. Take thought of finding a solution to the problem, and not bemoaning your future, think about what you can do today.
And now - about what can be done for the future prosperity:
The fact that you will quickly recover after financiallosses, of course, will not mean that you will return the lost money. But it will mean that you have learned to survive in a difficult situation, and will prosper in the future. How do you prefer to perceive your loss - as a defeat or as a new opportunity? We advise you to read: