The greatest discovery of my generation isthat a person can change his life by changing his attitude towards her. (William James) What woman does not want to be happy? Everyone wants this, but only a few of us manage to achieve this goal. And why? The reasons can be different. First, a happy life is something completely different from each other in the representation of different people. For some it is a friendly family, for someone - a good job, and someone absolutely can not enjoy life without a "platinum" bank card. So it turns out that each of us wants to learn how to become a happy woman, everyone is able to be her, but with that happiness is unattainable. We live in an incredibly fast pace of life, full of stress. When there is a collision with difficulties or disappointments, then most often the focus is on the negative. We are capable even of a small difficulty to turn into a big problem, and all life turns into a dreary struggle with troubles. And where is happiness? Why did a happy life become an unattainable goal for many people? The answer, oddly enough, is just as simple as the question itself: we do not know where to look for it.
Happiness is in us!
Too many people are looking for happiness outside of themselves. They believe that their happy life can be concluded in money, property, in other people. They do not understand what is true happiness. But there are people who have found joy and peace in themselves. They found that happiness is the personal choice of everyone, and decided to be happy in this capricious and unreliable world. This does not mean that such people do not have everything in order with their heads. It does not mean that they are naive or blind, that they do not notice negative events or dangerous behavior of other people. They just see it all as part of life; for such people, these are things that need to be considered, but which they will never allow to become the cause of their discontent. What is the simple human happiness? First of all, this is the ability to find your place .. As one wise man used to say, one must live his life, and not someone else's. From the very childhood we are "stuffed" with ideas about what we should do: with whom to play, what to learn, on whom to marry, etc. ... And no one thinks that some items from this long list may just not be ours. But it can be very painful when you realize that you are living for someone else. Unfortunately, it is very difficult to understand what we really want, and what is just a social husk. A professional psychologist can always help with this. Great humanists believe that the destiny of each person is a creative activity. Not always it comes down to drawing, embroidering a cross or photographing. Creativity is the process of creating something new, constructing an environment and changing the world. It is in him that we self-extract and self-fulfilling. When a person has a blocked need for creative activity, he feels his life meaningless and constantly faces psychological problems: depression, illness and anxiety. Communication with people is an important element of simple human happiness. A lonely person can not be happy. Yes, any of us need periods of privacy, but the absence of close people around and the inability to communicate with them can make you the most unhappy girl in the world. Even if something is not glued in life, do not seek to be isolated from the whole world - the happier you will definitely not become from it. On the contrary, enlist the support of friends and relatives, because these people are able to hold your hand on the most difficult parts of life. Strange as it may seem, rejection of negative emotions is not a step towards true happiness. In many popular pseudo-psychological books such advice sounds: "Get rid of your anger and let the happiness into your heart." Well thought out, eh? In fact, a person needs anger, like other negative emotions. It arises as a reaction to things that we do not like and helps us change our lives for the better. People who are not angry practically do not exist (mentally ill and the Dalai Lama we exclude), so when a person says that he is never angry, it shows the ability to hide his emotions deep into the unconscious. But they do not go anywhere! As a result, feelings will always find a way out, for example, in the form of a psychosomatic illness, and you will wonder what it is caused by. Therefore, it is better to learn how to express your emotions adequately to the situation. Well, if you too often experience a negative, then find out what personality traits it is connected with. Finally, it is very important to allow yourself to be happy for real. Some of us think that they are unworthy. Therefore, there are a lot of obstacles in the environment that do not allow you to go to your own happiness. But the true knowledge is that absolutely everything can be happy. The main thing is to believe in it and let go of yourself towards harmony and joy. People who, as they see it, have a happy life, always strive for success in their chosen field of activity. They follow their passions. Happy people develop long-term relationships with others. They accumulate property, but do not allow their happiness to depend on all these things. An understanding comes to them that only they themselves decide what will be their life. And if you want to join them, then you should do some things the same as they do.
Small changes can bring big dividends
The good news is that youra happy life is really in your own hands! Of course, we can not control the whole world and everything that happens in it. But we can control our reaction to what is happening. Using the proven recipe for a happy life, you change your attitude to the reality surrounding you:
- Live in the present No matter whathappened yesterday or a year ago and what can happen tomorrow or next year. Your happy life awaits you here, in the present, exactly where you are. Too often, we allow our past problems and worries about the future to dominate our present. We can not enjoy the moment "here and now", because we are worried and disappointed with things that have already left behind or are just waiting for us ahead. We put off our happiness today, convincing ourselves that everything will be better "one day." While we are busy developing plans for the future, our children are growing, neighbors and friends are moving to other areas, we are losing strength, and our dreams are dying. Life is not a rehearsal for a grand show that will happen next week! It is necessary to learn to live today and enjoy the present moment. Of course, you need to learn from the past and plan your future, but you have to live right here and now.
- Accept your imperfection Have you evermet a perfectionist who would be happy and filled with peace and joy? Probably not. The need for continuous improvement and the desire for inner peace are in direct contradiction. Perfectionists always enter a battle in which they knowingly assume the role of the loser, for they are never satisfied with themselves. No matter how well they do something, they will immediately want to do it even better. And this instead of focusing on the joy of victory and gratitude for having been achieved. No, they are obsessed with thinking that everything done is wrong, and everything needs to be remade! Where is there to be happy ... Do not be like them. In our life there is always room for improvement, but we must allow ourselves to value things as they are. And what is interesting: when we eliminate the need to improve in all spheres of life, we begin to see better the life inherent in beauty!
- Start every day, thinking of someone withgratitude This is such a simple action, and it takes only a few minutes every day. Gratitude and happiness go hand in hand. If you are experiencing sincere gratitude for all the gifts of life, then you constantly find an occasion to feel happy. It is so simple! We have a very large number of things for which we can be grateful: close friends, loved ones, friendly colleagues, a devoted dog, the first butterfly in the beginning of spring, a warm affectionate rain ... If you, waking up, every morning feel grateful, you can not feel anything , except happiness.
- Determine what you lack in life forfull of happiness This does not negate the fact that one should enjoy life here and now, but rather draws the contours of future achievements. Your goals and dreams charge you with energy. Think about the signs that you can conclude that you are happy. For example, this is a state where you are loved and taken care of by you. How do you understand that it has come? The more such characteristics you find for yourself, the easier you will understand where to go further and what to look for.
- Make a list of your personal little joysIn order to feel happiness, it is necessary not only to draw scenery, but also to fill them. The big always consists of small things. It is the same with happiness. Think about what always gives you pleasure and makes you happy. A new book, a romantic comedy, an album of a favorite band, a get-together with friends, shopping, a cup of fragrant coffee - these things can brighten up the everyday life of almost any woman. This list does not necessarily have to always remain that way: you can make changes to it, deleting what does not bring joy, and adding something new. And be sure to analyze how often you fill life with these things. If not, what is stopping you? Take for a rule at least once a day to please yourself with something pleasant.
- Do not waste time in vain If you take severalhours a day spend in social networks, it creates a feeling of emptiness and despondency in your life. It turns out to be all the more interesting, the more various actions it fills. And the lack of activity is poisoning our existence. So work where you like, and find yourself an interesting hobby. However, this advice does not mean that you should not rest - it's just wrong! Litter on the couch, sit back and even go to "Classmates" can be, but only when you really want to, and not have nothing to do.
This is only a small fraction of a variety of ways, liketo become a happy woman. Try to come up with other options that will work for you. Believe in yourself, because your possibilities are limitless. Be happy with yourself and with the whole world! We advise you to read: