What is written on the faces of lovers waiting for theirqueue of marriage registration? Love, happiness, pride (still, because next to - the best man in the world). But the most important thing that unites newlyweds is confidence in the future. All of them are convinced that their marriage will stand the test of time, life, children. But time passes, and the question "how to keep love" is increasingly turning in the head of wives with experience. Why wives? Because, as a rule, men are not puzzled by such problems. They believe that once a woman opened the door to them after a hard day's work and put food on, then everything is in order. Well, let's leave the men in their familiar world, and let's talk about love. Can I extend it? Make it brighter against the backdrop of gray everyday life? Or any marriage is doomed? Let's figure it out. To begin with, let me reassure all those who believe that it is impossible to preserve love. All in your hands. And if you want this man to be with you for the rest of your life, then it will be so. And how to do it - we will teach you.
Ideal people do not exist
As a girl, we dreamed of a beautiful prince onwhite horse, who is always neatly dressed, full and with flowers. In real life, it turns out that the potential groom wore smelting just for you, and now he prefers family panties to the knees. That in the morning it is better not to kiss him (until he brushes his teeth). That his horse eats more oats than he carries. Stop, stop, stop. And now look back at yourself. Do not you find that your hair has not been distinguished for a long time by the "natural" splendor that you diligently sought before the date? And from the mouth in the morning you do not smell roses either. The list can be continued indefinitely. But why? Is it so difficult to love a person as he is? Your husband forgives you for your weaknesses? Do not you have one? And the tenth bottle of perfume for this month? That's the same. Therefore, do not remove pink glasses immediately after the wedding. Believe me, it is much easier to keep love in them. And be lenient to the weaknesses of your husband. And he will repay you in return.
Trust is primarily
Tell me, you like it when someone digs intoyour things? No? Then why do you regularly check your husband's mobile phone? And do not say that you are doing this for insurance. All that you need to know, the husband will tell you. Trust him. Without trust in love in any way. Otherwise, all ends with the fact that you will find in the phone of the spouse what you were looking for. More precisely, it will seem so to you. Strange call in outgoing or incomprehensible text message in the magazine - everything will be interpreted by you as "I told you". And then what? Scandal? Divorce? Did you achieve this? We are sure that - no. So instead of checking your mobile husband with trembling hands, make him a cup of coffee. This step will help to keep love much better than any suspicion.
What kind of family without scandals? Everyone curses periodically. Perhaps, this quality unites all families. The difference is how they reconcile themselves. There are couples who for weeks can not talk to each other. And all these seven days they are puzzled not at all how to preserve love, and upholding their own rightness. We will reveal one great secret: there is no right in the dispute. Both are to blame. So why not admit this and take a step forward? And pride is not to blame. You keep the atmosphere of love in the house. Believe me, this is more important than a fleeting dispute about anything. By the way, if the point of view is to be defended, it is advisable to do so on a sober head. To begin with, calm down, analyze what happened and only then start a conversation. Did you notice that the word "scandal" was not there? Arrange all the points above the "i" and you can not raise your voice to your spouse. Start with your own experiences. Describe what feelings you had to endure in this situation. Do not blame the husband. It will not help. Do you often admit that you are wrong? So what is the husband better than you?
Praise your husband
But what you need to do with excess isto praise. Therefore, if you want to preserve love, look for dignity in the wife. Did he help you to wash the dishes? Thank you. Nailed the regiment? Be sure to note this. And it does not matter that he should do it six months ago. You will see - as soon as you start praising your husband, you will not only improve your relationship, but also help you become more often. There is another quality that distinguishes modern wives. They are accustomed to scold the spouse at all, but to praise in the ear, so that no one will hear. Do the opposite, and your family will be guaranteed stronger. Celebrate with the dignity of your husband. Tell the children how lucky they are with their father. And you yourself will not notice how after many years you will notice a noisy golden wedding. Because men do not abandon such women. Well, with whom else would he feel so indispensable, intelligent, beautiful and bold? After all, he himself did not even know about all the virtues that you ascribe to him.
Be an example
Do you know what is missing for modern husbands? Ability to read our thoughts. Then they bought us red roses instead of carnations on March 8, they would suggest washing their dishes after breakfast, and they would never eat with such an appetite (as if their houses were not fed). And most importantly - they would always arrange a romantic dinner with candles, when we are sad. But, unfortunately (or fortunately, since you bought the fifth pair of kapron tights for a week you still did not), our husbands can not read the thoughts. And sometimes you want romance! Well, then arrange it yourself! Put a note in your pocket with confessions, buy him an unexpected gift, order a table in the restaurant. Believe me, your happiness is in your hands. And while you wait for surprises from her husband, it will be an eternity. Do you remember what they think and feel a little differently? By the way, hints will not help either. Only direct text. But do you agree that after "asking for" a romantic dinner, its value is sharply reduced? Therefore, go for it! Be an example for your husband and a blacksmith of your own family well-being.
However, even ideal wives grieve their husbands. Similarly, the spouses are not always attentive enough to their second half. Years go by, grievances accumulate. And what yesterday seemed a harmless little thing, today turns into a problem of universal scale. Scattered socks, unclosed tube with toothpaste, raised toilet seat - you can continue indefinitely. But all these problems will remain problems, if you do not talk about them. It is much more difficult to preserve love than to acquire love. In the honeymoon, you only lacked the guilty smile of her husband in order to forgive a small defect. Today, the wave of discontent more and more rolling up from the head. Right? Then it's time to talk to my husband frankly. Only then will the socks even for a week find their way to the tank with dirty laundry. And toothpaste ... Well, forgive him for this little sin. In the morning we are all a little distracted.
A word is not a sparrow
A small afterword to the previous rule ofthe vault "how to save love." Sometimes the wife so colorfully painted the misdemeanor of her husband, which involuntarily wants to sympathize with the guilty. As soon as they do not call the person with whom they lived for many years! And this is for an ordinary pair of socks under the couch or a forgotten toilet seat in the toilet. Lovely women, the rule "say offense" provides only a correct attitude towards a man. Otherwise you not only will not save love, but also hack it on the root. Think your behavior is perfect enough? Of course not. So why does your husband not allow himself such insults? And again: if a person with whom you have lived for many years - a goat, then who are you? End this comparison yourself and understand that resentments need to be eradicated, and not rooted even more in the soil of conjugal hatred.
Do not compare
Here it is - the curse of all marriages. When the unfamiliar Vasya from the next entrance becomes an object for constant comparison. And his car is better, and he greets his neighbors more often, and his salary is more. In this case, the facts are not taken into account, saying that Vasya five years ago shook the deadline for a robbery, and he's been mercilessly slapping his wife. The main thing - to reproach. And there, you see, your native husband will reach out to a second-hand foreign car or ask you, at last, to increase your salary. In order to understand how such comparisons end, it is enough to recall the line from the Bible: "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth." And now you are compared to the busty Vika - the childhood friend of your husband or Aunt Masha, who (unlike you) never pies pies. So how is it? Nicely? And just something and it was necessary - hold your tongue behind your teeth. Actually, there are much more rules. In the same way as problems in marriage. And there is no unequivocal decision to keep warm relations between spouses. But there is one indispensable condition, which, like cement, keeps marriages even in the strongest storms of life. This is the desire to be together. It happens that one of the spouses begins to move away. And then the second partner, instead of being offended, should analyze the past life and understand what pushed the person away. Why is there a cold of disappointment in his eyes instead of love? Sometimes this requires the help of a professional psychologist who is neglected by modern couples. And this is strange. You go to the dentist if you have a toothache? So why not cure marriage? Especially since it is more important than a seal. Do you agree?