Originally the word "character" (from the Greekcharakter – a trait, a feature, to scratch, to mark, to brand) was translated as “coinage, minter” and was used as a term for systematizing coins. And in modern language this word implies the sum of a person’s personal qualities – such as, for example, honesty, courage, fortitude, loyalty, kindness and other qualities, positive and negative. This is the most important description of a person, as it defines the very essence of a person – what he is like. Of course, the basis of character is laid genetically, something is brought in during the process of raising a child; but any person can consciously instill some character traits in himself or, conversely, get rid of some shortcomings. Self-education, tempering of one’s character and will will help an inconspicuous girl, a “gray mouse” to become a strong personality, a self-confident lady. In addition, this way you can achieve greater productivity in your sphere of influence – become a more competent specialist at work or a recognized leader in your social circle. What are the ways of self-education? Let's take a step-by-step look at how to develop willpower and character, temper your will and improve your personal qualities.

Basic steps for training moral discipline

First, it is necessary to understand what constitutes force.character. In other words, "what is strength, brother?" Strength of character is defined by those qualities that allow us to exercise control over instincts and passions, give us the ability to resist the many temptations that so often come our way. Moreover, strength of character is freedom from prejudices and biases and the manifestation of tolerance, love and respect for other people. And one more thing you must understand before you begin self-education: why do you want to develop a strong character? Why does strength of character matter to you? It will be easier for you to temper your will if you understand the following:

• The strength of character will allow you to achieve what you are planning, helping to cope with obstacles and setbacks. This will help you achieve serious goals, after all.
• The strength of character will allow you to conduct an "investigation" and eliminate the causes of a bad mood, and not just whining and complaining, as many people are inclined to do.
• The strength of character will give you the courage to recognize your own mistakes and weaknesses. Recognition of mistakes is the first step towards correcting them.
• Tempered character will give you the strength to "save a foothold" when circumstances turn against you, and you can swim against the current.

Once you have identified the obvious benefits of a strong character, begin to build it, brick by brick, step by step. Here are the basic things you should learn to do:

• Empathize with other people

The ability to empathize with others, especially those who are moreweak people, as well as the ability to love others no less than yourself, will help you improve the harmony of your own personality. Empathy is significantly different from sympathy. It involves your active participation in the fate of another person, helping him as needed, while sympathy means emotional, but rather passive reactions - looking, listening, assenting and comforting. By actively helping another person, you will develop as a person and build character.

• Resist their irrational impulses, such as, for example, the craving for sweets

The great philosopher Aristotle said thatThere are seven basic human passions: love, hate, desire, fear, joy, sadness and anger. These passions in themselves are not abnormal for a person; but their insidiousness is that they can “bypass” our intellect and make us their slaves. We begin to eat too much, shop uncontrollably, give in to our anger, plunge into sadness and despondency - everyone has their own weaknesses and passions. By tempering your will, you can free yourself from enslavement to your own passions. Indulging in your desires is a sign of a weak character, and the ability to restrain your whims and emotions is a sign of strength of character and will.

• Be pleased that you have

Imagining that the grass is greener somewhere and thatsomeone has a recipe for a happy life, you risk not seeing the grass under your own feet. Remember that these are just your assumptions about how well others live. In fact, you cannot know for sure. It is better to focus on how you live yourself and look for the good around you. Perhaps this is where you should start building character.

• Learn how to manage your feelings

Nothing but common sense canguide you in your everyday life. A person with a strong character will view everything that happens around him from the position of a reasonable perception of facts, and not through the prism of his emotions. Learn not to cloud your mind with the chaos of your feelings. It may be quite difficult, and sometimes it will seem that it is even impossible not to succumb to the feelings that nest deep in the bottom of your soul (this is easy for men, and we women are so emotional!), but you can learn to suppress their manifestations. You can overcome emotions by relying on common sense and once again on common sense. Learn to be restrained!

• Educate yourself in leadership skills

Don't be a sad pessimist, it's not enoughbe simply optimistic. A pessimist complains about the wind, an optimist waits for the wind to begin to overcome it. A leader will do everything necessary to adjust the sails and make sure that his ship is ready to sail in any weather.

• Be brave

Be courageous enough to go tojustified risk. If you constantly avoid difficult situations, you will be forced to give up victory and the joy associated with it. Do not be afraid to take on something new, have the courage to resist injustice and dare in your desire for self-improvement.

• Firmly Go to the Goal

Every person consciously or unconsciouslythinks first of all about his own interests. Do not allow anyone to impose their will on you, and do not do this to others. Recognize for yourself the fact that each person has his own idea of ​​the truth; you will not be able to please everyone, and not everyone will think the same way as you. Find the right path for yourself, and follow it without turning or retreating.

• Learn to do good and avoid conflicts

Seek peace and harmony in your relationships with otherspeople, strive for this with all your heart, cultivating character. Do not step over others to achieve your goal, not paying attention to the needs of others; try to do something for the benefit of others. If you think only about personal gain, then you will have to enter into conflicts with people around you, which sooner or later will inevitably lead to failure. But if you act in such a way as not to violate anyone's interests, then people will also try to support you, and you yourself will feel satisfied. And your needs will also be satisfied.

• Always look for the golden mean

Be neither stingy nor extravagant,gloomy, not unbridledly cheerful... The ability to find the golden mean is a sign of a strong character, capable of resisting extremes. Develop your character correctly!

• Keeping calm

Calmness is a state of inner silence,which allows you to concentrate and collect your thoughts. Such inner contemplation leads to ideas, ideas lead to opportunities, and opportunities allow you to achieve success. Calmness is an indispensable condition for a strong character. Without calmness, passions can easily boil over, leading to strong desires and interfering with common sense. Although calmness is not the enemy of feeling - rather, it becomes its regulator and allows you to express feeling properly.

• Be positive

Focus on the positive things in life,leaving no time for negativity. So, one day a patient, complaining about his numerous problems, asked the doctor how to cure his illnesses. "Don't think about them, and this will become your most important medicine!" - the doctor answered. And indeed, even physical pain can be avoided by an effort of will, distracting your thoughts with some things. This happens in life: the less you think about the bad, the easier and more joyful each of your days will be.

• Believe in yourself, not in your destiny

Everyone is responsible for their own development and progress.your life. Don't be a fatalist, believing that your fate is predetermined by many circumstances, and that you are powerless to change anything in your life. This would mean a complete rejection of all attempts to take the initiative to improve your life and yourself. Work on yourself, change yourself and change your life, because no one and nothing will do it for you.

• Be patient

A person with a strong character will not back down ifwill face a difficulty, he will go to the end and overcome all obstacles. Learn to postpone the pleasures of life until a later date if this will help you to achieve the desired goal faster; learn to wait.

• Overcome all fears

For example, fear of heights.Or fear of communicating with people. Shyness is a stumbling block to success. Often fears are not based on facts, but on our superficial observations. We are afraid not of what is actually there, but of what seems to us to be there. Avoid building a foundation on sand, prefer solid ground instead. Once you overcome your fear, you will have enough strength of character to have the determination to act victoriously!

• Clear your mind

To grow a beautiful and fruitful garden,A gardener must first clear the soil by removing all the weeds. Like a gardener, you must "weed out" from your mind all the thoughts that act as weeds, undermining your strength and self-confidence. Protect yourself from such thoughts. Whenever they begin to overwhelm you, occupy yourself with something exciting for fifteen minutes to an hour.

• Always be honest

It is necessary to be truthful always and in everything.It's difficult, but if you're dishonest, then first of all you're dishonest with yourself. And that's what's going to hurt you first. The tendency to tell lies is evidence of cowardice, what strength of character is that?

• Work hard

Finally, wherever you are, do everythingpossible, what you can do. Work, and avoid idleness like the plague! This will teach you to value time, and the quality of rest too. You will prefer not idle idleness, but good, active rest, which will improve your health and even rejuvenate you, inspiring you to quickly return to useful things. In addition, the habit of work will help you develop your character.

Start acting!

Now that you know how to parentstrong character and what traits you need to develop in yourself first of all, you have only one thing left to do - start acting! We will not hide the fact that it is not easy to engage in self-education - no one is so inclined to make concessions to us as we ourselves are! Our mistakes are especially unsettling. Every time we take even a small step in the wrong direction, we perceive it as almost the end of the world. But! - we have already talked about the fact that we need to keep our excessive feminine emotionality in check. Such thoughts will not allow us to achieve a good result. Mistakes are inevitable, because we know that "only he who does nothing makes no mistakes", and "the road is mastered by the one who walks". In order not to despair when making mistakes, you must remember that you must always:

• Try again

It is impossible to say how many times it should be donerepeated attempts to build character. You have to do it until you succeed. You will never know what you are capable of if you give up at the first failure. How many times does a small child need to fall to learn to take his first steps? How long did great athletes train before they set their records? How many unsuccessful opuses did great composers or writers write before they became world famous? How much suffering does a person endure before finding true love? How many times did a young ballerina fall before she learned to do fouettés? You will never know your strengths if you do not try to develop them. The very act of making an attempt strengthens your will, giving birth to faith in future success and building character.

• Accept defeat, but never pass in front of him

You will never understand how to cultivate in yourselfstrong character until you learn to overcome failure. Those people who have faced failure and overcome it have the strongest will. After a long series of failures, they are able to make another attempt. As a rule, any of them can say: "The day when I was ready to give up, I decided to try again..." Did you know that Edison, before inventing the electric light bulb, made 3,573 resoundingly unsuccessful attempts? Yes, resounding - sometimes his experiments ended in explosions and fires. But the cheerful inventor, when asked how he was able to survive so many failures, cheerfully answered: "But now I know 3,573 ways NOT to invent an electric light bulb!" Indeed, failure is the path to understanding the truth!

• Eliminate any negative impact on you

Who among us has not experienced the pain of having insteadsupport from friends or loved ones have you heard criticism addressed to you? Probably, many have encountered something similar. There will always be a person who will try to prove the unreasonableness of your plans. Try to ignore the opinion of such people on this matter. No need to argue with them, no need to prove anything. Just try to stop all conversations with them on this topic. You must walk the chosen path yourself, because no one can live your life for you. Therefore, listen only to constructive criticism, which will really help you learn and grow as a person.

• Make a plan for work on yourself

Write down what you want to change in yourself, and by what deadline. Set specific goals: get rid of such and such a shortcoming, develop such and such a habit.

• Change your vocabulary as soon as you gathered to educate the character

Give up the words "I can't", "if", "maybe". These words carry the stamp of uncertainty. By saying them, you involuntarily program yourself for a sure failure.

Look for people with similar aspirations

There is nothing that will help you build character andto climb the steps of self-development higher and higher, as communication with people who will become your like-minded people. In times when you may fail, they will be able to find the right words to prevent you from plunging into the abyss of despair. When you achieve even the smallest goal, they will rejoice with you in your success and inspire you to new achievements. And if something does not work out for them, you can always give them a helping hand. What you can do alone will be much less than what will be possible if you combine your efforts. We recommend reading:

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