Self-confidence ... Sometimes it seems that thissomething that everyone knows about, but are silent - apparently, they hide the secret of their happiness. Although there is nothing to hide, in general: everyone can become self-confident - you just need to tear your fifth point from the sofa and start to change something in your life. What exactly needs to be changed, we'll tell you in this article. Self-confidence means that you believe in the one you see in the mirror every morning. Confidence is very closely related to self-esteem, but not equal to it. Low self-esteem is when you consider yourself to be bad and useless. Low self-confidence - when it seems to you that you will not succeed. One thing about your qualities, and the other about your actions.
Steps to educating confidence
All these psychological calculations are very interestingin theory, but what in practice? In reality, it turns out that in order to raise self-confidence, you need to pull self-esteem and believe in your own strength, and for this you need to do something. We offer you six steps that will bring you closer to personal harmony.
Love for yourself
The cornerstone of happiness, without whicha full life is impossible. How does the opposite phenomenon manifest itself? You do not believe that you can be loved. It seems to you that you have never done anything really cool and useful. All your achievements are connected with luck and a special coincidence of circumstances, and your failures - with your shortcomings. You do not like your own ears, eyes, nose, mouth, waist, hips and legs, as well as intellectual abilities, and communicative qualities. You get out of hand forever, and you can not trust anything responsible. This list can be continued indefinitely, but the result is one - you do not like yourself. How to love yourself? This is a very complex and very simple question. To begin with, you need to get rid of criticism in your address for being disgraced to yourself. After all, how do we live? We do not just do not love ourselves - we also curse ourselves for this dislike. This is how a person works, and it's senseless to struggle with this - you need to accept this and stop punishing yourself with constant self-incriminations and self-flagellation. It is from there that a large part of your dislike for yourself is taken. Well, the rest will pass by itself, as soon as you start doing something really meaningful, for example, become a candidate for a master of sports or draw a beautiful still life. It's pointless to do something that no one will see and appreciate, because then it will be unclear why one should love oneself.
Purpose in life
The implementation of real and useful cases helpswe love ourselves. But in order to start doing something, it is necessary to understand what exactly. And now many of our fellow citizens have problems with this. For example, I just go with the flow: I go to work, to the store and home. I live unconsciously and on a semi-automatic machine. Get out of this vicious circle will help something important and interesting, something that makes you feel at home. This can be a hobby - an activity that you will be engaged in during your free time. Think about what you would always like to do. Until you need any criticism and analysis - just remember everything that ever was interesting to you. Make such a list, choose from it one or two items and start to deal with them. If thoughts arise in your head, why you should not do it, throw them aside and try. In the end, the attempt is not torture, and you do not lose anything and do not worsen the situation. Even if you do not succeed, it's not terrible - try again or choose another occupation. And if you then need to invest in forces or time, then it's okay too, because it's not a shame to spend on interesting things (and if it's a pity, then perhaps it's not a hobby). Sometimes sadness and despondency come into our lives because of bad work. Bad work is when you are engaged in a boring and useless business, the boss yells at you, and colleagues dump their duties. Why all this is necessary? Strange as it may seem, many people live by inertia, remaining in captivity of all kinds of frames like "everyone works, and I work", "I can not find a normal position" and so on. The very possibility of living happily and as you want is forgotten. And you look at those who do it, and you envy them, considering yourself a failure. All you need to do is find a good job. And here you will have to leave your comfort zone: improve your qualifications, search, throw boring certainty, exchange it for interesting uncertainty. Do not be afraid to invest in it, because an interesting thing in life is really very, very important.
Clear action plan
We have already begun to gradually move on to thismoment. Of course, understanding what you want is the first step towards finding personal happiness. But having a clear plan of action to achieve your goal is another necessary item, through which you can raise self-confidence. Its compilation will require effort, time and a detailed analysis of the situation, but it's worth it. First of all, estimate what actions are needed in order to start a new business. For example, if you want to learn how to draw, you need to know the information about what art schools are in your city. Then think about what initial investments you need for this. Many people are slowing themselves down at this moment, saying that they do not have the money, the energy, the time and the abilities to do anything. This in you is spoken by inner fear, the purpose of which is to leave your life (and you) as it is now. But you do not like this option! Remember that the road to happiness begins with the way out of unhappiness. So the most important secret of how to gain self-confidence is to get up off the couch and start doing something.
As we already mentioned above, you need a clear planactions. And to write it you need knowledge: about the kind of activity you want to do, about how they learn or start to do it, about which circles, sections and training courses are presented in your city. Without clear and understandable information, it is impossible even to learn a lesson, let alone do it directly. And if you decide to change your job, then upgrading your skills in the form of new knowledge is just necessary to find a worthy position. And a few words about how to search for information about something. It's great if in your environment there is someone who understands the area you are interested in - then you can always find out important information for you from him. Another important piece of knowledge is knowledge about oneself. Probably, they are even more important than all the others, taken together. It sounds a bit strange, but, unfortunately, many simply do not realize what they really like and is interested in, and what is not. For example, they work somewhere out of habit or because they need it, although they have long been irritated by the place and job responsibilities. Or they are doing snowboarding, because it's cool, although in fact they would have liked to play chess more. Understanding your needs will help you find a business that really suits you, accordingly, in it you will achieve real successes and, as a result, gain self-confidence and your strength.
Naturally, to realize your desiresand interests you will need resources. Nothing in life is given simply for the sake of it, but to get the most important and valuable things sometimes it takes a lot of effort. For many people, this is the excuse for not doing anything. That's only self-confidence does not grow from this, but only falls, because you feel like an idler and a loser. Accordingly, sooner or later there is a boiling point, after which you understand that you need to change something. The previous steps are made, and you are faced with the need to invest in what you like. Most often there is a need for three kinds of resources: time, forces and money. As for time, you can very often hear that someone does not. However, there are no situations of his complete absence - it's just that a person sets priorities. For example, he wants to sleep an extra couple of hours, be in a clean apartment or do someone a favor. From each of these actions, he gets his benefits, although often he does not realize this. Therefore, if you really want to do something interesting and important for you, time for a hobby can always be found: honestly and accurately describe where each hour is spent, then discard what is not really important or useful for you - and you will free up time for a new lesson. Money is another resource that is often required for the implementation of some kind of undertaking. You are faced with the need to pay for courses, buy some equipment or spend money on travel - there are a lot of reasons for spending money. If you start to "choke a toad," then remember that free cheese is only in a mousetrap. People just like you are working and want to get paid for their work and things. In addition, spending money on your favorite occupation is motivated to great success (namely, they are needed in order to increase self-confidence). And they pay off with the great satisfaction that you get later. Well, and finally, effort. You really have to do something: get up off the couch, go somewhere, do something and do it regularly. With this idea you need to get used to, if earlier you just did that went to work, and in your spare time lay on the couch. However very soon you will enter the necessary rhythm, get used to constantly do something and even begin to enjoy your activity.
Sometimes resources are required for you: love, care, support, self-confidence - all these things are necessary in order to do something. So the person is arranged - he is not a biorobot and works on psychic energy, which is taken from things pleasant for him. The support of friends and relatives is something that no worthy undertaking can do without. To get it, you just need to tell about your ideas and aspirations to a loved one. He will calm your anxiety, help in overcoming difficult situations and tell you that everything will be fine (and sometimes even give a magic kick so you get up off the couch). It's great if you have more than one such person, but several at once - then the amount of support is multiplied a couple of times. And what about those who have no one to share? It happens and such, for example, if your friends are skeptical, and all new beginnings are critical. Or you can not share with them (although in this case it would be nice to learn how to do it - support of loved ones in life will be very handy). Or all your friends are very far away, and you do not have the opportunity to communicate with them (although the Internet with Skype no longer makes it a problem). In any case, what to do if you can count only on yourself? To receive support from oneself: to calm, take care and please. Take a hot bath after a hard day, cook a delicious dinner and watch your favorite movie in the evening - all these things will please you, and it will be easier for you to tune in to anything. It is believed that if a problem seems huge and significant to you, like an elephant, you need to imagine that you have broken it up and "eaten" it in pieces. The same thing we tried to do in order to help you build self-confidence. Slowly, step by step, passing through all the stages, you will gain useful experience and achievements, turning to which, you can not already say: "I'm a fool and a failure." On the contrary, self-confidence will grow stronger and grow in you. And do not forget always and everywhere to look good, because for a woman a delightful appearance is more than half the success and well-being! We advise you to read: