Loving someone who is completely indifferent to you– Isn’t this the greatest grief for a woman? There are different situations: someone initially does not feel reciprocal feelings for the person who loves him, someone thought that he also loved, but the love faded, and someone did not know anything at all about the warm feelings that someone had for him, and he himself fell in love with a completely different person... Be that as it may, love for someone who is completely indifferent to you is the most hopeless feeling in the world, because the love of another person is not something that you could control or influence in any way. But to fall out of love and throw him out of your heart is exactly what you need to do to begin the healing process. After all, it is not your fault that you love, but you are not loved; and the only thing left for you to do is to move on and try to free your heart for another, mutual and happy love. And although it may seem impossible to you now, we will help you understand how to forget a man you love with all your heart if he does not love you back.
Stop loving and forget: eight steps to deliverance from unhappy love
So, have you made up your mind? Do you want to stop loving and forget a man who doesn't love you? Then you should do the following:
Be honest with yourself If you see thatIf a man doesn't love you, then you shouldn't try to prolong the relationship. Sooner or later he'll break it off anyway, so it's better to do it first. At least you won't feel abandoned; and that would only add to your suffering, because hurt pride would be added to unhappy unrequited love. Try to admit to yourself that your relationship is completely hopeless. And the longer this person stays with you, the more you will immerse yourself in your love and longing for him. Accordingly, the more painful it will be to break off your relationship later - because you will literally grow attached to him like skin! It doesn't matter that it will hurt you to realize all this - feel this pain. Allow yourself to grieve. Grief is the beginning of the healing process.
Focus on the negative traitscharacter or appearance of your beloved Yes, we are serious, he has flaws too! Being in love makes you so blind that you will ignore anything that might not please an objective person, from small behavioral flaws to the most significant character flaws. Although you do not need to literally start a “crusade” (and it is unlikely that you will succeed!) to mentally turn the person you treat with special warmth literally into a monster, but still, now is the time to open your eyes to some negative qualities in order to balance out his positive traits. Because he is a real saint to you! Is it possible to stop loving such an ideal person? No! Therefore, start actively looking for and noticing all his shortcomings. Perhaps he constantly interrupts everyone, or dresses very tastelessly, is rude to the staff at your favorite cafe, listens to terrible music, shows complete disrespect for your system of life values, or, finally, his hands are always wet and sticky - isn't it disgusting?! Collect as many unpleasant emotions towards your man as possible in your "piggy bank". Write it all down. Make a list as long as you can think of something, trying to bring out all the ins and outs of your loved one. Such actions will help kill your idealized vision of a man that has possessed you until now. Learn to look at him critically. Accept the fact that this person will never sincerely tell you "I love you". Is it too hard to realize this? So much the better! The more you realize this fact, the more it will help kill any false hopes that live in your heart, and the easier it will be for you to fall out of love with this man.
Get rid of all his gifts and anysouvenirs that could remind you of your time together Do you have a whole collection of movie tickets you went to together, napkins from a cafe you once went to sit in, yellow leaves from his favorite park, and so on? And that teddy bear he gave you for your birthday? And kilometers of your correspondence in your email inbox? Well, get rid of all of this one way or another! Make room in your life for new relationships. Think about it: if you sit and sigh over photos of your ex-lover, will you be able to forget and fall out of love with him? Sorting through memorable things, you will again and again recall certain events associated with your unhappy love. But you need to free yourself from this captivity of memories! So, gather all these things, and then throw some away, and give some to people you never come into contact with in your everyday life (for example, take the teddy bear to a children's hospital and give it to a playroom or to some kid, and give the clothes to an organization that collects things for the poor). This way, you will remove from your sight everything that can be somehow associated with your ex-man.
Also avoid situations that willkeep the embers of your loved one's memory smoldering If you hear music or a song that makes you think of him, stop listening to it. If there are places where you are likely to run into your ex, stop going there. If you have mutual friends, try to communicate with people who don't know anything about him during your emotional healing. If you can't avoid meeting him and still "cross paths" with him (for example, you study or work together), try to completely stop communicating with him. Listen to music on your headphones, for example, so you don't have to hear his voice, have lunch somewhere else, take new routes to work or school. Try not to create the preconditions for an outbreak of new emotions, because they will only delay your healing from unrequited love.
Find ways to keep yourself and your mind busy,to keep thoughts and memories out of your head that might upset you You can’t stop thinking at all, so just occupy your mind with thoughts of something else. Call a friend and chat about something that has nothing to do with your feelings for the man you’re trying to forget. Read an interesting book. Watch a good movie, make sure it’s funny (a melodrama will only upset your own feelings). Work in the garden or take a walk in the park. Start learning a foreign language. Do whatever you like to keep your mind occupied and prevent yourself from feeling sad! The less you think about this person, the easier it will be for you. And by no means repeat to yourself or others: “I can’t live without him,” “I love this person more than I could love anyone else,” “I can’t love anyone else at all,” “There’s no one better than this person.” You must understand that all feelings change over time; your attitude toward the man who doesn’t love you will change too.
Take your first steps outside your zonecomfort Research by psychologists shows that in order to break old habits and replace them with new ones, you need to do something new. For example, you can go on vacation or even just start going to work on a different, previously unfamiliar route. If you cannot afford to make any major changes in your life, then just start with small daily changes. Visit a part of your city where you have never been before. Go with your girlfriends to a new cafe. Sign up for a club of interest and make new acquaintances and new friends. Come up with a new hobby for yourself. The possibilities are endless!
How long have you been in love with this man?Months, years? Have you ever thought about the fact that during this time, there were more than one opportunity for another, happier relationship to emerge? But you didn’t see these opportunities because you were blinded by your love. Remember that your true love is still waiting for you. Don’t be unavailable to her when she is near!
Get back to normal life Meetother men, flirt with them, and feel how great it is when men show interest in you! This will give an impetus to strengthen your self-confidence. And you will give yourself a chance to meet a man who will appreciate you and give you mutual love. Just be careful when flirting. Although a casual, non-committal relationship is exactly what the doctor ordered right now, you should still do it if you are emotionally ready for it, and at the same time be honest with yourself and understand that this is a casual, non-committal relationship. And one more thing: you should be honest with the man; he should know that for you this is just a game, and you do not expect anything serious from this relationship. Do not make this man feel as unhappy one day from unrequited love as it already happened to you.
Don't be ashamed of what you loved but didn'tsaved the relationship. In some cases, it is very difficult to fall out of love, it even seems impossible to imagine how to forget the man you love. But there is nothing bad or shameful about this. Love for another person is a beautiful, selfless feeling, even if this love is unrequited. Over time, the pain will decrease, you can even become interested in a completely different man, and then a new love will awaken in you. If there is anything that can improve this world, it is love. Remember that you will have a wonderful future if you can free yourself from your past! We recommend reading:
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