How to forget the guy you love: the ways to heal the soul

Love is a wonderful feeling, few people willchallenge this statement. We all strive to find love - this is a natural state of affairs. But life is very changeable in its essence, and sometimes it happens that instead of the bliss of mutual love, we experience the torment of unrequited love. In these bitter moments, the question arises in the head of every girl about what to do, how to forget the guy you love if the love is not mutual, or mutual, but has no right to exist (for example, if you fell in love with a man who is not free). If you do not consider yourself to be one of those people who are happy only when suffering, then you understand that cherishing and cherishing love that causes you pain is unwise. Therefore, all the advice that we will consider here will certainly help you get rid of pain forever and regain your peace of mind and harmony. According to psychologists, you need to get rid of such a feeling as unrequited love as quickly as possible: not every person's soul is cleansed through suffering. It often happens that the soul is destroyed, and this does not fit into our plans, right? To prevent this from happening to you, it is time to start acting, perhaps at first through some effort on yourself, through I can’t; but only the one who dared to take the first step will master the road.

Where to start: the first steps are the most difficult

It doesn't matter whether you were a couple yesterday or todayin the morning you were told about the end of the relationship, or a single girl who discovered that she has been pining for a charming representative of the strong half of humanity for quite a decent period of time. These are all the details. All you need to do now is to understand yourself in order to understand what exactly you are suffering from. Was it love that caused it? Treatment can only begin from the moment when the diagnosis is established accurately. Then recovery will come more quickly and will be complete. We will give some examples of how suffering is not always a consequence of love, and you try to apply these situations to yourself. Perhaps something from the above suits you?

You are such a goal-oriented girl that,Having set a goal for yourself, you will lay down your life to achieve it. The guy's indifference has put you in a dead end - you are not used to defeats; and besides, - the forbidden fruit is the sweetest.
A real relationship with a man is so difficult! To love an imaginary image is much easier: a loved one has no shortcomings and ... Yes, actually, and a loved one in fact, too.
Or maybe you trivialize exculpationown laziness? Have gone headlong into love afflictions, instead of looking for work, writing a diploma, or something else that requires you to make any efforts and decisions?
You are sure that you are crying because of the lossfavorite, and not because of losing the status of a successful girl? Your now ex-man was a very enviable groom (actor's appearance, presence of an apartment, work, career and further on the list) for any girl. Did you love him or what his society gave you?
For some reason you think that loveit is impossible without drama, separation and suffering. There are many examples that can be used to prove the opposite, but it's not so easy for you to give up the torments of love that turned out to be sweeter for you than herself.

If in one of the examples given you seesimilarity with your situation, then how to forget the guy you love is most likely out of the question. Laziness, hurt pride, vanity, pride - all this has the property of recovering naturally and very quickly. Changing attitudes and increasing self-esteem is a little more difficult, but here too a lot depends on your own desire and resources.

Love, I can heal you!

Everything is much more serious if we are talking about it after allо самой настоящей любви. Травма, полученная от разрыва отношений, наносит душе такую же боль, какую можно нанести физически телу, ударив человека. Продолжая видеть аналогию между физическими и моральными страданиями, давайте вспомним, чтопроисходит с нами, когда мы получили телесную травму? Сначала наступает шок. Мы даже можем в первые мгновения не почувствовать боль. Потом она нас накрывает. Мы начинаем плакать. Сообщаем о своей беде всем, от кого хотим получить помощь и облегчение от боли. Врач назначает нам лечение. Мы стараемся соблюдать все рекомендации, принимать лекарства, нам хочется как можно быстрее восстановиться. Проходит время, и рана заживает. Здоровье снова в порядке. Давайте поступим по такому же алгоритму и скорее окажем нашей бесценной душе — пострадавшей, получившей травму — первую помощь. Очищение слезами Раз боль уже заявила о себе, значит, первый шок прошел. Вы приняли неизбежность разрыва отношений и бесполезность усилий возобновить их. Что сделать дальше? Выплакаться. Причем так, как вы не плакали, наверное, с самого детства – самозабвенно, взахлеб, до полного истощения всех ваших запасов соленой жидкости. Нам, женщинам, это делать не возбраняется – мы эмоциональные существа, и такая разрядка хоть и опустошит нас, но на какое-то время это даст облегчение и временную передышку. Информационное сообщение Выбирайте круг лиц, которых будете посвящать в произошедшие у вас изменения в личной жизни, исходя из принципа «не навреди себе!» Близкие, без сомнения, постараются выразить вам сочувствие и оказать поддержку, а вот коллеги на работе могут неодобрительно отнестись к подобной откровенности. Поэтому ограничьте круг людей, с которыми будете говорить о своей беде. У психологов существует метод, согласно которому о своей боли можно рассказывать до тех пор, пока вам самой не захочется прекратить говорить об одном и том же вот уже в который раз. Этот метод очень подходит даже тем дамам, кто привык избегать вторжения посторонних людей в свою жизнь: рассказав о своей личной драме первому встречному прохожему (при условии, что он согласен выслушать), вы не рискуете, что это будет предано огласке. Если даже такой контакт кажется все же слишком личным – звоните на телефон доверия. В какой-то момент вы почувствуете, что сил уже ваших нет мусолить одно и то же по десятому кругу, а также выслушивать советы о том, как забыть любимого, и слова сочувствия от ваших измученных слушателей. Пора бы предпринимать конкретные действия, не так ли? Лечение или самолечение – можно по отдельности, а можно все вместе Первые этапы пройдены. Вы периодически еще можете поплакать и помучить себя и окружающих очередной порцией очень горестных воспоминаний о разбитом счастье. По логике вещей, следующим вашим действием должно быть обращение к врачу. Врачеватели душ — психологи — быстрее и лучше всего помогут разобраться в том, как забыть парня, которого любишь безответно и не взаимно. Советы, основанные на научном подходе, безусловно, заслуживают уважения. Но услуги специалиста стоят немаленьких денег, а вернуть душевное равновесие за пару посещений не представляется возможным. Ни один специалист не поможет вам, если вы сами не захотите выздороветь, помните об этом. Спросите себя: «Как я могу себе помочь? Я очень хочу вновь обрести радость в жизни. Я могу справиться сама или нет?» Советы по поводу того, обращаться вам к врачу с вопросом о том, как забыть парня, который нравится до сих пор, или же преодолевать свою боль самостоятельно, не могут быть однозначными. Мы все индивидуальны. Возможно, наилучшего результата вы достигнете, воспользовавшись всеми или некоторыми приведенными в нашей статье рекомендациями, совместив это с консультациями психолога. Вам обязательно надо попробовать следующее:

Until now you couldn't bring yourself to break upwith objects that remind you of your past life. Looking at them again makes your heart clench, but something kept you from throwing them in the trash. You put them in the far corner, and that was the maximum you were capable of at that moment. It's time to act more decisively and with conviction: I can do this now; start sorting out material reminders of the past. Photos, personal items of your ex-lover, which for some reason he did not consider it necessary to take, as well as all the trinkets and little things that were once so dear to your heart, throw away without options and pity. These objects had value when you were one. Now they are an extra reminder of a broken relationship and disappointment in love.

It's time to remember how you lived beforeyour meeting with your ex-love What hobbies, interests, and clubs did you have before? And did you never get around to some of them, because you wanted to spend this time with your loved one? Redouble your efforts to make up for lost time. Choose a time when you can sit quietly and think: “What do I want? After all, now I can afford whatever comes into my head!” Don’t hold back the flight of your thoughts and imagination: do you dream of learning a foreign language or jumping with a parachute? Nothing holds you back anymore. Were you once fond of knitting and never left the gym? It’s time to buy yarn and magazines with beautiful models, as well as buy a membership to a fitness club, immediately after that buying a set of sportswear for visiting it.

Any change of impressions (of course, inpositive) will distract you from sad thoughts If the situation allows, go on vacation. Choose a country you have long dreamed of visiting, pack your bags and buy tickets. Are work matters preventing you from leaving unexpectedly? Go shopping: cosmetics, clothes, interior items, new equipment or electronics - what does your soul require? When planning a grand shopping, sign up for all kinds of beauty treatments. After visiting a beautician, hairdresser, manicurist and pedicurist, you will feel like the queen of the world, and not only the mirror will confirm this.

Your love is in the past.You cannot change this, unlike the present, and, therefore, the future. Think about what you can change now so that the future will make you happy later? For example, work was clearly not your first priority before. Everything has changed, and from the words "I can easily make a career" just move on to active actions: it is in your power to change everything for the better. Decide for yourself how to build your own future great career: in the same organization and the same department where you have worked until now, or should you try to change the department, change the employer, or even open your own business.

They say that you don't have to suffer from the pangs of lovethose who are always ready to generously share it Have you always loved animals, but have never managed to get a small pet? It's high time to do it right now, to give your love and care to a small living creature. Your love for him is the most important thing in his life. And you, like no one else, can now say for sure that we are truly responsible for those we love.

All the given tips work, gradually yousee for yourself. Direct your energy into a creative and peaceful channel, tell yourself more often: "I cannot afford such a luxury as wasting time on depression and longing for the past. But I can and will be happy." What is not recommended In addition to the above recommendations that help you forget unhappy love faster, I would like to give a few others. They concern those actions that should not be committed:

At first, you should avoid meeting your ex.boyfriend To the point that you take sick leave or vacation if you work together. Even if the breakup was quite civilized on both sides, you are the injured party. Seeing his calm face every day, while your own heart looks like a pile of fragments - you need to protect yourself from such a possibility.
Think about why you were abandoned You were not abandoned,and fell out of love. That's the first thing. And the second thing is - it happens!.. Accept it as a fact, without any connection to your own personality. It happens that people break up. It happens to beauties and simpletons, educated and not so educated, excellent housewives and those who can only cook boiled eggs. The presence or absence of a loved one does not depend on a certain set of your qualities. It is necessary to improve yourself as a person for yourself and your own preferences. But this cannot serve as a guarantee of a happy love relationship.
Declare that you will never be able to do anything to anyone againfall in love Thus, you will forever condemn yourself to a life without love, the loss of which you suffered so much. Even if we do not consider the option that a new man will help you (even without being aware of it) to forget your predecessor faster, giving you the tenderness and love of his heart. Remember that new love can and should arise in your life.
To indulge in all seriousness Alcohol only givestemporary oblivion. It would be superfluous to mention drugs at all – this is obvious harm and a threat to your health. It is also not recommended to start collecting men's hearts. Instead of the sweetness of victories, at some point you may suddenly feel emptiness and your own loneliness. After all, quantity can never replace quality. For a broken woman's heart, there is no consolation in a dozen or so broken men's hearts: having hurt someone else, you are unlikely to be able to console your own suffering. Neither alcohol nor a multitude of admirers will help you forget your past love.
To go to the other extreme and startIdealize past relationships and a man Believe me, there are no ideal people, and you shouldn’t canonize your ex-man, at least for this banal reason. Don’t even think of comparing new admirers and new relationships with what has sunk into oblivion. We are all different. Surely, your past love had something that made you happy and something that upset you. Give a chance for a new feeling to enter your life, and for yourself to hear the cherished words from your new lover: “I love you.”

Towards a complete healing

Think more positively, first through force, and thenwithout any effort on your part, and the pain of parting with your former love will soon weaken and then disappear. The memories will remain, but they will no longer hurt you. Always remember that time also heals emotional wounds, which means that each new day brings us closer to complete healing. Ultimately, the choice is always yours: will you prefer to suffer or live a full, happy life; in both cases, you will have a sea of opportunities to do so. The whole world holds the means for each of us to achieve our goals at the ready. We just need to learn to see them and know how to use them. We hope (and wish you this with all our hearts) that you will prefer the dazzling happiness that mutual love gives us to the suffering and torment of unrequited love. Do not exclude the possibility that, having again experienced the happiness of loving and being loved, at some point you will even mentally thank your unhappy love for leaving your life. Life is generous to those who really want to be happy and loved and who refuse to waste themselves on fruitless suffering and worries. Believe in your strength, tell yourself: "I can be happy!" We recommend reading: