Love is a wonderful feeling, few willto challenge this claim. We all strive to find love - this is the natural state of things. But life is very changeable in its essence, and sometimes it happens that instead of the bliss of mutual love, we experience the pain of love unrequited. In these bitter moments in the mind of every girl, the question arises about what to do, how to forget the guy you love, if love not mutual, or mutual, but has no right to exist (for example, if you fell in love with a non-free man). If you do not relate yourself to that category of people who are happy only when suffering, then you understand that it is unreasonable to cherish and cherish the love that is causing you pain. Therefore, all the tips that we will consider here will certainly help you to get rid of the pain forever and regain your peace of mind and harmony. According to psychologists, from such feelings as unrequited love, you need to get rid of as quickly as possible: not every person's soul is purified through suffering. It often happens that the soul is destroyed, and this does not fit into our plans with you, right? That it will not happen to you, it's time to start acting, perhaps, first through some effort on myself, I can not through it; but the road is mastered only by the one who ventured to take the first step.
Where to start: the first steps are the most difficult
It does not matter if you were yesterday a couple, and today withIn the morning you announced the termination of the relationship, or a free girl who discovered that a charming representative of the strong half of humanity was already dying for quite a long time. It's all the details. All you have to do now is understand yourself to understand what you are suffering from. Was love the cause? Treatment can be started only from the moment when the diagnosis is established accurately. Then the recovery will come more quickly and will be complete. We will give some examples of the fact that suffering is not always the result of love, but you try to try these situations on yourself. Perhaps, something of the named suits you?
- You are so single-minded girl that,setting a goal, laying your bones to achieve your goal. The indifference of the guy has put you in a dead end - you are not used to defeats; and to everything else - the forbidden fruit is the sweetest.
- A real relationship with a man is so difficult! To love an imaginary image is much easier: a loved one has no shortcomings and ... Yes, actually, and a loved one in fact, too.
- Or maybe you trivialize exculpationown laziness? Have gone headlong into love afflictions, instead of looking for work, writing a diploma, or something else that requires you to make any efforts and decisions?
- You are sure that you are crying because of the lossfavorite, and not because of losing the status of a successful girl? Your now ex-man was a very enviable groom (actor's appearance, presence of an apartment, work, career and further on the list) for any girl. Did you love him or what his society gave you?
- For some reason you think that loveit is impossible without drama, separation and suffering. There are many examples that can be used to prove the opposite, but it's not so easy for you to give up the torments of love that turned out to be sweeter for you than herself.
If in one of the examples above you seesimilarity with your situation, then how to forget the guy you love, the speech probably does not go. Laziness, wounded pride, vanity, pride - all this has the property of recovering naturally and very quickly. A little more difficult is a change of attitudes and an increase in self-esteem, but here too much depends on one's own desire and resources.
Love, I can heal you!
Everything is much more serious if it is all aboutthe most real love. Injury, obtained from the rupture of the relationship, causes the soul the same pain that can be inflicted physically on the body, striking a person. Continuing to see the analogy between physical and moral suffering, let's remember what happens to us when we received a physical injury? First comes the shock. We can even not feel pain in the first moments. Then she covers us. We begin to cry. We inform our misfortune of everyone from whom we want to receive help and relief from pain. The doctor gives us treatment. We try to comply with all recommendations, take medicine, we want to recover as soon as possible. Time passes and the wound heals. Health again is in order. Let's act according to the same algorithm and soon we will render our priceless soul - the injured, the injured - the first aid. Cleansing with tears Once the pain has already manifested itself, then the first shock has passed. You accepted the inevitability of a rupture of relations and the futility of efforts to resume them. What to do next? To cry. And as you have not cried, probably since childhood - selflessly, vzahleb, to the complete depletion of all your reserves of salt water. We women, this is not forbidden - we are emotional beings, and such detente, although it will devastate us, but for a while it will give relief and a temporary respite. Information message Choose a circle of persons whom you will dedicate to changes you have made in your personal life, proceeding from the principle of "do no harm to yourself!" Close, no doubt, will try to express your sympathy and support, but colleagues at work may disapprove of such a frankness. Therefore, limit the circle of people with whom you will talk about your trouble. Psychologists have a method according to which you can tell about your pain until you yourself want to stop talking about the same thing for the umpteenth time. This method is very suitable even for those ladies who are accustomed to avoid intrusion of strangers into their lives: having told about their personal drama to the first passer-by (provided that he agrees to listen), you do not risk that this will be publicized. If even this contact seems too personal - call the helpline. At some point you will feel that there are already no forces of yours to sing the same thing in the tenth circle, and also to listen to advice on how to forget a loved one, and words of sympathy from your exhausted listeners. It's time to take concrete actions, is not it? Treatment or self-treatment - you can individually, but you can all together The first stages are passed. You periodically can still cry and torment yourself and others with a lot of very sad memories of broken happiness. Logically, your next action should be to see a doctor. Doctors of souls - psychologists - will quickly and best help you figure out how to forget the guy you love unrequited and not reciprocally. Councils based on a scientific approach, of course, deserve respect. But the specialist's services cost a lot of money, and it's impossible to return the peace of mind for a couple of visits. No specialist will help you, if you do not want to recover, remember this. Ask yourself: "How can I help myself? I really want to regain joy in life. I can handle it myself or not? "Tips on whether to contact your doctor with the question of how to forget a guy that you like so far, or to overcome your pain yourself, can not be unambiguous. We are all individual. Perhaps the best result you will achieve, using all or some of the recommendations given in our article, combining it with the advice of a psychologist. You should definitely try the following:
All these tips work, gradually yousee for yourself. Direct your energy to a constructive and peaceful channel, more often tell yourself: "I can not afford the luxury of wasting time on depression and longing for the past. But I can and will be happy. " What to do is not recommended In addition to these recommendations, which help to quickly forget unhappy love, I wanted to give a few more. They concern those actions that you should not do:
- First time should avoid meetings with the formerguy Up to that, take sick leave or leave, if you work together. Even if the parting was completely civilized on both sides, you are the injured party. To see his calm face every day, at the same time as your own heart is like a pile of splinters - you need to shield yourself from such a possibility.
- Think about why you were abandoned you did not quit,but ceased to love. This is the first. And the second - it happens! .. Accept this as a fact, without tying yourself to your own personality. It happens that people break up. It happens with beauties and with simpletons, with educated and not very, with excellent hostesses and with those who know how to cook only boiled eggs. The presence or absence of a loved one does not depend on a certain set of your qualities. To improve oneself as a person is necessary for oneself and for one's own preferences. But it can not serve as a guarantor of happy love relationships.
- Declare that you will never again be able tolove. Thus, you yourself will forever commit to life without love, the loss of which has suffered so much. Even if you do not consider the option that a new man will help you (even without being aware of it) to quickly forget his predecessor, having presented the tenderness and love of his heart. Remember that a new love can and must arise in your life.
- To start all the serious Alcohol gives onlytemporary oblivion. About drugs in general will be superfluous - this is a clear harm and a threat to your health. Starting to collect men's hearts is also not recommended. Instead of the sweetness of victories at some point, you can suddenly feel emptiness and your own loneliness. After all, quantity can never replace quality. For a broken woman's heart there is no consolation in a dozen or two broken men's hearts: if you hurt someone else, you will hardly be able to comfort your own suffering. To forget the past love, neither alcohol, nor a lot of fans will help.
- Go to the other extreme and beginidealize past relationships and man Believe me, there are no ideal people, and to attribute the ex-man to the saints of your saints is not at least for this banal reason. Do not try to compare new fans and a new relationship with what has sunk into oblivion. We are all different. Surely your past love had something encouraging you and something frustrating. Give a chance to a new feeling to enter your life, and yourself - to hear from the new beloved cherished words: "I love you."
Towards a complete healing
Think positive, first through strength, and thenwithout effort on his part, and the pain of parting with the former love will soon weaken, and then come to naught. Memories will remain, but they will not hurt you any more. Always remember that time also heals the wounds of the soul, which means that every new day brings us closer to complete healing. Ultimately, the choice is always yours: choose to suffer or live a full-fledged happy life; and in that, and in another case you will have a sea of opportunities to do it. The whole world is keeping ready for each of us the means to achieve our goals. You just need to learn to see them and be able to use them. We hope (and we wish you with all our heart) that you will prefer the pains and torments of love undivided to the dazzling happiness that mutual love gives us. Do not exclude the possibility that once again learning the happiness of loving and being loved, at some point you even mentally even thank your unhappy love for having left your life. Life is generous to those who really want to be happy and loved and who refuse to spend themselves on fruitless suffering and experiences. Believe me, too, in your strength, tell yourself: "I can be happy!" We advise you to read: