Remember how easy it was to start up as a child?friends? You approach a boy or girl you like and say: “Let's be friends!” And that's it, you are friends. And now? A lot of difficulties in the form of inflated expectations, social norms and some incomprehensible conditions. And loneliness rolls in more and more often. How to find friends and not be alone in this crazy-crazy world?

Friend - this sounds proudly!

Surely each of you has friends, andsome even have many. But have you ever thought about what the concept of “friend” means to you? This meaning can be different. Moreover, it changes not only from person to person, but also from situation to situation and over time. In childhood, it was easy to find new friends - it was enough to play sandcastles together. Then you gradually began to understand that a game is a game, but someone who first builds sandcastles with you and then secretly destroys them is not a very good friend. But what kind of a friend he should be is not yet clear, and it is not so important. Already in adolescence, a friend is someone with whom you have similar interests and spend a lot of time together. We experience our first mistakes and quarrels, and by adolescence, our own ideas about friendship gradually arise. The older we become, the more important the moral and spiritual qualities of friends become. This is due to the fact that an adult experiences many different life situations, including difficult ones, and especially values ​​​​a real strong friendship. Appearance and musical tastes become less important, but responsiveness and sympathy come to the fore. As a rule, for an adult, several roles coexist in a “friend”. A friend is:

• one who supports you;
• one who shares your values, worldview and attitude;
• the one with whom you are having fun;
• the one with whom you share common interests;
• he who hears you and understands you;
• the one who respects you;
• one who helps you in difficult situations and not only.

If you have people in your life who have collectedall this to yourself - congratulations, because you are a happy person! However, this happens quite rarely. In most cases, we are supported by some people, and we have fun with others. And sometimes it happens that friendship does not stick at all. And what to do? How to find real friends or at least one such friend?

Habitat

You decided to make friends.No, not like a cat or a dog, you just want to change or expand your social circle. But in order to communicate with these new people, you first need to meet them. And here the question arises: where to find friends? There are many places where potential friends live - it all depends on what new people you want to meet.

• Toy Library

Let's remember our childhood!As we wrote above, the strongest bonding force for us was the game. Why not use this technique now? Many cities host such game parties – usually organized by board game stores, clubs and bars. Take part in such an event – ​​you will have fun and communicate to the fullest!

• Clubs and bars

Most often, of course, in such places, guysmeet girls. But why not look for friends there? In any case, it will be fun and pleasant. Night clubs are distinguished by the fact that any conversation can be easily started with a joke or a funny comment addressed to a person you like. But you may have difficulties with transferring such a “fun” friendship into a more serious direction (although this is not a fact!)

• Communities of Interest

One of the most promising options is thatin terms of communicating with people with whom you have a lot in common. For example, if you are a young mother, you can enroll in a family center for courses and communicate there with other young mothers, which can develop into joint walks with children, shopping trips and much more. After all, you have a huge common interest and a reason for communication - children! But the world does not revolve around children - you can be united by a favorite TV series, culinary experiments, reading literature - there are many, many such things. Look for such communities on the Internet (for example, on forums or through social networks) - and communicate there with like-minded people.

• Actually the Internet

Well, it's absolutely impossible in our age of technology.not to mention this option for meeting people! There is everything on the Internet, including people. But people, unfortunately and fortunately, are completely different. You can find a lot of friends who share your views on life, your interests and love for Korean carrots, but you can also run into schoolchildren, scammers or just crazy people. Therefore, be careful when communicating on the Internet and follow basic safety rules.

• Friendly party

This option is absolutely safepsychological point of view. Being invited to a party, you already know the hosts and are not afraid to be alone at this celebration of life. If you want to meet someone, you can easily ask mutual friends to introduce you. Communication is accompanied by music and cocktails, which makes it easy, fun and enjoyable, and also encourages its continuation in the future.

• Study

It would seem that this is not the most optimal place forto make friends. But that's not true! For example, if you attend an English language course, you and the other members of the group have a common goal - to know a foreign language well. And you can help each other with this - in particular, meet before the course for a cup of coffee and speak only English. Spending time this way, you get to know each other better, and most likely, some of your new acquaintances will be interesting and pleasant to talk to. So don't be lazy and strive to spend time usefully!

• Sports activities

It could be a gym or a promenade,It doesn’t matter which one you run on. You and other people like you are united by physical activity and a common interest – to be healthy or to lose weight. In addition, it is more fun to do sports together – for example, to ride bicycles and discuss the latest fashion trends.

If a friend was suddenly ...

Finding friends is not the hardest thing.It is much more difficult to maintain long-term and warm relationships with them and to preserve your strong friendship. And many people have certain difficulties with this. We often make excessive demands on others, which we ourselves can hardly cope with. We are angry at friends who let us down, although we ourselves are sometimes guilty of the same thing. We judge, although we ourselves demand unconditional acceptance and sympathy from others. Unfortunately, such double standards are not uncommon these days. And the worst thing is for those who try to live by them - these are the people who increasingly find themselves alone on the sidelines of life. How to avoid this and strengthen relationships with new friends? What qualities should you develop in yourself when communicating with friends?

• Interest

Reach out to other people and be interested in themlife. Few people need a stuck-up grump who doesn't care about anyone. Remember what Dale Carnegie said: "Man is the creature who loves to talk about himself more than anything else." So ask your friends questions about how they live, what's going on with them, and what interests them. Ask about things that are important to them every time you meet. Talk about them and their lives, and then this will be a signal that you care about them and value them.

• Patience

Be tolerant in your communication with friends; everyone hasWe all have our flaws: some chew loudly, some abuse filler words, and some become reckless after the third cocktail. Most of the shortcomings can be tolerated, because they are not really that important for your friendship. So separate such things from the truly important obstacles and turn a blind eye to them, otherwise you risk losing many worthy people and being left alone.

• Responsiveness

Friends are needed in many ways precisely for this purposethere was someone to call at two in the morning and say: “I feel really bad. Come over!” And a real friend will come, bring a bottle of martini and make sure that everyone feels good. And this is not an exaggeration! Be mentally prepared for such actions, because they are the ones that stick in your memory: “And I remember how Irka really helped me out then, although she had no time at all!” Even if you miss something while helping your friends, it will pay off a hundredfold in the form of trust in each other and a feeling of a strong rear.

• Readiness to compromise

Friendship is at least two, or even morepeople who decided to be friends. And these people may have different opinions on some issues. For example, your friend thinks that the best birthday is a party at a club, and you are disgusted by loud music and the smell of cigarettes. But you go because she is your friend and it is her birthday. And she, in turn, goes with you to a sushi bar, keeping you company in eating raw fish that she hates. Over the course of a long friendship, there are so many such compromises that they stop counting them and go to meet your friend halfway just like that.

• Honesty

But when making a compromise, we must not forget abouthonesty in relationships. There is always a place for it in the relationships of true friends. This does not mean a complete absence of lies - it is not at all necessary to tell your friend that her husband is a complete idiot. But it is worth saying that you are not very comfortable with the fact that you constantly spend time together. In general, friends should talk about their feelings and emotions, even if it is scary and uncomfortable. That is why they are friends, to share the most important and intimate things with them.

• Support

It is very important in friendship.After all, who else but a true friend will support you in your craziest endeavors? If your friend has decided to enroll in the Sorbonne or become a Formula 1 racer, support her. In most such situations, honesty is not needed (except for those cases when you are absolutely convinced that she is completely and utterly ruining her life). And if she fails, console her. This is what real support is. Only friends and the closest people, thanks to their support, help us find a way out of the most difficult situations.

• Be yourself

You might say:“Six tips on how to make friends by pretending to be someone else, and the last one is to be yourself? Nonsense!” But it’s not true, because you don’t have to be someone else. It kills sincerity in relationships and is almost always felt. Be yourself, develop your interests and strengths, and allow yourself to have shortcomings. Just try to direct your behavior in the right direction sometimes so that your friends feel good with you. All these points can be combined into one – treat others the way you want to be treated. And this is right, because each of us gets what we deserve. Friendship is a garden that requires constant care, effort, and resources. If you don’t spend time in it and don’t cultivate it, it becomes overgrown with weeds and ceases to be a garden. Therefore, spend time and effort to find and keep your friends, and this will be your most reliable investment! We recommend reading:

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