There are people who, even on the worst days,are able to act as if nothing special has happened. Their whole secret is that they have quite a high emotional stability. This stability helps them find solutions in difficult situations, overcome all adversity and get good results - in life, at work and in relationships with people - even when things are going badly. Obviously, such stability and the ability to cope with adversity gives us an advantage. It makes our life more fulfilling and happier.

What does it mean to be emotionally stable?

Essentially, this concept describes the abilityto withstand adverse factors. Our psyche not only copes well with stress, but also demonstrates the ability to return to a normal balanced state as quickly as possible after some emotionally difficult events. "What does not kill me makes me stronger," said Nietzsche. In other words, every time we experience stress and then return to a state of balance, the threshold of our resilience shifts upward, and our ability to cope with difficult situations increases. This also means that we develop our ability to "process" difficult events: what seemed impossible to us yesterday, we can easily endure today. Consequently, tomorrow our experience will become even more manageable, although this does not mean that we will stop feeling pain. It’s just that tomorrow we will not panic and helplessly whine about what yesterday seemed simply impossible to survive. We have demonstrated the ability to adapt, learn and grow. Emotional resilience is dynamic; it is “built” brick by brick for a long time, and over time it becomes different from what it was when we were born. It determines our ability to adapt and recover from circumstances such as losses, hardships, injuries, threats, illnesses, accidents, and the like. The strength of resilience affects our mood and physical well-being during a crisis, as well as the duration and strength of the impact of a traumatic event on us. It allows us to form basic life skills, shapes our character and will. But the development of emotional resilience is different for each of us, so we all react to stressful situations differently. The threshold of resilience is different, so it turns out that in the same conditions one person will be “strong”, and another will be called “weak”. But even the same person in one situation can be “weak”, and in another – “strong”. Everything depends on our experience, which, as we know, comes with time. But our experience also depends on the severity of the events that we must endure. The loss of a loved one, as sad as it is, is something that literally everyone will have to endure sooner or later – at least once in their life. But not everyone has to “acquire” experience of accidents, tragedies of violence, natural disasters or war. Everyone has their own experience – and so it turns out that everyone has their own emotional stability. But in any case, being emotionally stable does not mean that we turn into some kind of bulletproof vests and lose the ability to experience mental pain. The difference is that a strong person keeps himself in hand and knows how to control his emotions. And he recovers faster, of course.

4 habits that create emotional strength and stability

If you want to know what it isdeveloping emotional stability, then you need to form an idea of ​​some habits, without which it is difficult to achieve success in this. Try to develop them in yourself! They will act as an invisible shield around you, helping to motivate yourself, no matter what happens.

Awareness:Know your Achilles heel Your Achilles heel is your personal weakness, your weak link. It always makes you a scapegoat and makes you constantly look for excuses. For example, for some people it is time. There are ladies who never manage to do anything on time. And not because they do not have enough time, but simply because they do not know how to manage it properly. Such a young lady should take control of every minute of time, literally write down point by point what and when she needs to do. And even if it seems boring and tiring, take it and hold out like this for several days or weeks. She would be able to make amazing discoveries for herself! Surely it would turn out that she spends too much time on secondary matters, while the main work remains undone. What kind of emotional stability is there if the management once again threatens to fire her for failure to fulfill her work responsibilities! Once you have identified your weaknesses, begin to work on them to prevent them from taking over. Of course, we are talking about awareness as a habit only in a figurative sense. But it is nevertheless a very useful quality - to be able to see your weaknesses and to be able to work on them. Ultimately, this helps you regain control over your habits and will help you build resilience.

Personal development:Invest in yourself If you clearly understand that your shortcomings and weaknesses are preventing you from achieving your goals in life, then you need to develop the missing qualities in yourself. You and only you should be responsible for your life, and only you have the power to change it for the better. Think about how you could improve your personal qualities and skills, and invest in developing them. This will increase your chances of achieving success in life. The need to pay is often a reason to avoid or postpone learning and personal development. Although money is important, just think about how much more expensive it will be in the end to do nothing. Investing in yourself means giving yourself the opportunity to take responsibility for improving your life. And this is a habit that makes it much easier to achieve what you want to achieve in life.

Inner peace: stop yourself Our inner monologues with themselves determine how we look at the world around us. And are all your thoughts positive? In other words, do not those thoughts in your head revolve that interfere with the realization of what you really want? Such thoughts can attack you for a fairly long time before you realize that they are starting to influence you not in the best way. What to do in this case? It is necessary to proceed as follows. Imagine that your thoughts are soundtracks that sound in your head. What do you usually do when there is a song in the player that you do not really like? You turn it off, do not you? That's the soundtrack with a negative thought, too, stop! At first, it will not be easy to do, so help yourself to switch thoughts with the help of some physical actions. If you are lying in bed at this time - get up and write, for example, a shopping list for tomorrow. If you were sitting on the couch and watching TV - go for a vacuum cleaner or start washing dishes. Your "sound track" will not immediately disappear, but gradually you will notice that it becomes shorter and shorter. Stop yourself whenever you catch yourself on worrying thoughts. Even if you initially reduce the duration of listening to negative "soundtracks" by just two hours a week, then you will give yourself eight hours of inner peace for a month! Of course, there are very unpleasant questions that need to be resolved. But if you have a habit of stopping heavy thoughts, then here it will help you too. Instead of constantly thinking about this, you will write on paper so as not to forget about the need to solve the problem, and the rest of the time will think about what you really want to do now. And once you provide yourself with inner peace, it is likely that you will find a way to overcome the problem much faster. Yes, and emotional stability will be much higher!

Integrity:Ability to Accept Bad Days Sometimes it happens that we unexpectedly encounter some obstacles, and things do not go as we would like. On such days, everything will depend on how you perceive current events. There are people who give up when faced with failure, and even fall into depression. They think day after day about how they were unable to cope with difficulties, feeling more and more inferior. And there are people who perceive failure as a signal to look for other options. Instead of occupying their minds with thoughts of their inferiority, they turn on completely different “soundtracks” - they think about possible solutions to the problem. They are whole, because no part of their personality was damaged as a result of the failure. Integrity did not allow them to label themselves as losers, and the emotional stability of the personality became even higher after the ordeal.

Building or restoring stability

Your environment and social circleare the main factors that shape your ability to deal with stressful situations. Therefore, it is very important that you know exactly which situations you can easily cope with, and in which situations you may have problems with their perception and processing. In order for the development of emotional stability to occur in you as steadily as possible, listen to the advice of psychologists:

• Talk about your feelings with people who youare close and whom you trust. You may find that the people who surround you once faced the same circumstances from which you are also in difficulty. They can understand you, share your anxiety and help with advice, because they already have the experience of getting out of this situation.
• Look for all the information about the difficult situation, inwhich you are supposed to get. This will give you an opportunity to better understand what is happening, and you can view the crisis not as a desperate problem, but as a situation in which you can act decisively, because you know what you need to do. A good orientation in the problem helps fight fear, which is usually exaggerated when stress levels rise.
• Agree that sometimes there are situations that we can not change. Learn to accept such situations, preserving your personal integrity.
• Take the time to develop, strengthen, andmaintaining relationships with partners, children, family members, friends and acquaintances. The closer and more meaningful your relationship is, the better your ability to cope with problems and with stress.
• Develop in yourself hope and optimism. Visualize the positive results of your actions. Even at the most difficult time, do not forget that there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
• Let your life always go on as usual, and show the whole world that no difficulties and stresses can change the normal course of your life.
• Think for yourself a new hobby - the way new ideas and interests will fill your free time. This will significantly add to you positive emotions and remarkably distract from the problems.
• Help other people, voluntarily, notwaiting for a request for help. By supporting others, you will increase your ability to cope with difficulties. This will make you feel more confident.
• Mentally review your lessons from the past,Analyze how you coped with the events then - this will be another opportunity for self-discovery and acceptance, and will help you develop confidence in your ability to cope with future problems.
• If you already have experience of getting out of stresssituations, make a set of measures for recovery in the wake of those events (for example, spend time with close friends), and be ready to repeat them if necessary. Please note that during the restoration it is necessary to postpone the adoption of important decisions.
• Try to improve your physical health, strive for a healthy diet, do sports, do not forget about rest and provide adequate sleep. This will help you avoid stress.

The main thing you should remember is that good emotional stability will help you cope with any troubles. So don't forget to work on yourself! We recommend reading:

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