The life path is a complicated thing. He is replete with successes, failures and unexpected turns. And there is a high probability that when you are traveling along this road, your "fellow traveler" will be a crisis of personality. Now, reading about this, you certainly imagine him as a huge monster, which can not be ignored and not overcome. But remember the words of the great Friedrich Nietzsche: "What does not kill us makes us stronger." It turns out that your crisis can be of use to you! But how and what, you ask? We will talk about this.

What is a crisis?

A crisis is a clash between the old and the new,between the usual past and the possible future, between who you are now and who you could be. What used to be good and effective is more than that. The goals set are not achieved by the old means, but there are still no new ones. Very often in a crisis there are manifestations of hidden conflicts and inconsistencies. Psychological crises of the personality differ in that in such conditions a person is placed - he can no longer behave in the old way, his behavior no longer brings the results necessary to him. That's why, when you get into a crisis, you often experience a sense of impasse and try to find a way out of it. And the output is not there ... The crisis is also experienced by many people as a period of anxieties, fears, uncertainty, sometimes emptiness, meaninglessness of existence, stopping on the way - every person comes up with his own metaphor. That's what different people celebrate, talking about their experiences and feelings during a crisis:

• "I seemingly froze alone in some space and did not move."
• "No one was around, and there was a feeling that no one would help me, and the whole world was falling apart."
• "I felt trembling, weakness, heaviness, tension and stiffness."
• "It was like diving - it embraced me whole, and I could not hide from him anywhere."
• "I seemed to be in a transparent balloon, and an invisible film separated me from other people."
• "I really wanted someone else to help me."
• "I did not want anything, nothing at all!".
• "It seemed to me that the whole world seemed to be locked around me and about to crush me."
• "I was exhausted, and I did not have enough strength for anything."
• "My life no longer belonged to me, I was no longer its" author. "
• "Time inside of me seemed to stop, but something was happening outside and happening ...".
• "I wanted as soon as possible to find a way out of this impenetrable darkness."

All this is about him, about the psychological crisis. Separately, the words of each of the women do not mean anything and can mean anything, but together they make up a picture of a personal crisis. Agree, the picture is heavy and unpleasant. Still, it is not accidental that this condition is one of the most frequent reasons for turning to a psychologist.

What are the crises?

There are a lot of them. In fact, crises in the development of personality are of three types: age crisis, situational crisis and directly personal. As a rule, when people say: "I have a crisis!", Then we are talking about the third option. But we will consider everything - to know when to wait and gain and patience, and when - to ask advice from girlfriends or to look for a way out in literary sources. So, the age crises. This is actually the norm of life. They are almost every person, and in more or less the same format. An age crisis is when a person already wants something, but the environment does not give it to him yet. There are many such crises, and they arise almost from infancy. Children's crises are at the end of the first year, at three years, at seven years and throughout adolescence. They are all related to the child's gaining independence and new skills. For example, at three years old the child already wants to dress himself, but his mother does not allow it yet, because it takes too much time. And the child starts to drill. In this situation, the mother needs to take the child to maturity and specifically cut out the time for the child to dress himself - otherwise he will never learn to do it, and his growing up will stop. Greater interest to us is the age-related crises of adulthood. The first such crisis is 17-18 years. During this period, the first encounter with adulthood takes place. A person begins to self-determine and seeks his place in the world. The second crisis occurs in the interval from 30 to 40 years - the so-called mid-life crisis. A person looks around his life and answers for himself the question: did I do everything that I wanted? The next crisis - pre-retirement - happens in 50-60 years and is associated with retirement and the change of a dynamic lifestyle to a more peaceful one. And the last age crisis is the crisis of the end of life - all happen at different ages. It is associated with a general assessment of a lived life - positive or negative. Another type of psychological crisis is situational crises. They have their own reason well-understood by man. For example, I want a husband - rich, kind, caring, intelligent, and cheerful - in general, and eat fish and climb the pine. But all together it is impossible, and the woman are one on one with this "it is impossible". Or, for example, you want to have time to build a career, and the hearth is ideal to create, and time and energy is not enough for everything. All these "dead ends" are completely transparent. All you need is to prioritize, turn around and get out of this trap. Well, it can be a little start-up, but it's quite possible to live with it. And the last type is personal crises. They are distinguished by the complexity and confusion of experiences, it is from them that you find it so difficult to find a way out. They can have absolutely different reasons. We all know about the crises associated with sad events: grief, loss, loneliness, a sense of meaninglessness. But few know that crisis experiences can be caused by something that is essentially joyful - a child's birth, a wedding or a long-awaited rise. The result is always the same: the person feels that something has changed inside, and today he can no longer live the way he lived yesterday. He becomes different. These crises will be discussed further.

What awaits you: stages of experience

Thank God, the crisis of the individual developsGradually, since no one can withstand such a sudden drop in gravity. There are a number of stages that a person is going through, and you can rejoice - the crisis always ends in a way out. Just for everyone, this is your own way. A strong and healthy person is always able to find an option that suits her. But you are such a person? So, the stages of experiencing the crisis:

Stage of immersion. As a rule, at the very beginning of the crisis, a person is disturbed by unpleasant sensations in the body. But you still do not understand that you have a personal crisis - you just feel bad. You are tense and constrained, experiencing a sense of weakness and heaviness. Because something needs to be done, you do, but these movements are very fussy and meaningless. Your thoughts are like viscous porridge, and you endlessly chew on it. When you think about one thing, it immediately pulls out of your memory an even more unpleasant thought. You are vulnerable and are not protected from these and other unpleasant feelings. It looks like a huge black hole, and you fall into it. This is the first stage of the crisis.

Stage deadlock. He is accompanied by a sense of loneliness and lack of support. You are immersed in thoughts and endless introspection - sort out the events, ask yourself questions about the causes of the crisis and can not find answers. However, your thoughts and feelings are no longer linked into one unpleasant lump - they are increasingly experienced by you individually. Your past no longer helps, you are scared to be "here and now," and you are gradually beginning to build predictions for the future. The feeling of exhaustion and lack of power permeates you. You understand that outside help will not come, and you are growing more and more anxious to find a way out of this impasse. But you can not escape from these feelings - they must necessarily be experienced, and then for the first time there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Stage of the fracture. Against the backdrop of complete moral decay, you begin to take yourself out of the crisis space. At first, this output manifests itself literally - you hide under the blanket and shut yourself off from everything - and then psychologically. As if there are "you" and "you are in a crisis. Your consciousness is freed from old idle thoughts and attitudes. Crisis experiences are less and less often visited by you, and always single-handedly. There is a restructuring of the personality and there is a readiness for a new experience. The world around you seems to reopen, and you are in harmony with it. You are free and feel light in your body. You are not left with a thirst for new sensations and impressions - sometimes you even want to break off and embark on a journey. You finally have your desires, and you feel the strength and the ability to meet them. The feeling of happiness does not leave you, and you can finally say to yourself: "I did it! I experienced a personal crisis! "

Unfortunately, the crisis does not always end like thisiridescent - sometimes the opposite happens. Psychologists refer to neuropsychological and psychosomatic disorders, suicide, avoidance from society, post-traumatic stress, various crimes, alcohol or other addictions, etc., to poor variants of the development of events ... As we see, the crisis not only tests the personality for strength - it can it and destroy it.

How to survive the crisis?

After reading all that is written, you, probably,were horrified at the thought of what you will have to endure. But do not worry too much. Personality crisis can not overtake everyone, and if this happened to you - be happy, because this means a very high level of mental development. Well, if not - then the more rejoice, because we have already noted that this is one of the most difficult and unpleasant conditions in life. To the deepest regret, the way out of the crisis can not be avoided or accelerated. Remember - you need to survive the crisis, and only then will there be an opportunity to exit. "And what, you can not be different? Probably, is there any magical psychological remedy? "- with hope you will ask. And we will have to upset you: "No, it does not exist." There are really no magic means. But there is your personality and your own resources. They were used by God himself. It should be said that there are actually two ways out of the crisis. The first is to respond to the call of fate and, having taken it, jump into uncertainty and try to change. But we forget about the second option - choosing security and the desire to preserve the existing order, you stop and do not go to change. Yes, this removes the alarm. But it is anxiety always accompanied by personal growth, and the lack of change limits it, and sometimes even destroys you. We hope that you breathed out and chose the first option. Otherwise, you can not read further. So, how to ease yourself living crisis?

Find support. Yes, yes, you did not misinterpret. As much as you do not want to distance yourself from this world, support and sympathy will be very helpful. Even in a crisis, you remain a person who needs communication, love and care, so is not it better to get them from a person who is aware of what is happening? It can be a close friend, your spouse, a distant relative or even an occasional person on some forum. The main thing - it should be nice to you and pleasant, and also sincerely interested in what is happening with you. Agree that you will share with him the most intimate and important for you. It is necessary that he listened to you and did not condemn. Your communication should be honest, and the key to this is a sincere expression of feelings.

Start a personal diary. Write down everything that relates to events, experiences, bodily sensations, thoughts and attitudes to what is important for you, as well as the images and metaphors that pop up in your head. Keeping a diary will help you to better understand what is happening to you, and also to separate one experience from another. Through these records, you share your experiences with others.

Find the inner support. The world around you collapses, everything turns upside down, and in order to experience it, you need to find an island of stability in this world of chaos. Such an island of stability and support can be your belief in the justice of the world, in its goodwill and proper organization. You are an important part of this world and you can control your life. Such attitudes allow one to experience despair and loneliness without breaking down, while maintaining faith in the future. Thanks to them, your life again acquires meaning, based on the experience of all mankind.

Survive everything that happens to you. Do not run away, realize your feelings. Separate them from each other and untangle this coma of despair. Dive into them - all this is an invaluable experience, without which you can not become what you can become. On this you will need all your efforts and resources.

Do not give up, be persistent. Especially in those moments when you want to escape, fly to another planet or just shut down. Hold on! This is your strength. When it's completely bad, lean on important people for you and in your diary. By the way, then it will be interesting to reread everything that happened to you during this dark period of your life.

Be prepared for unexpected discoveries. For example, that you are not so kind as you thought about yourself. Or that sometimes you are so lazy to do something, that you can lose sight of something special. It is important not just to make these discoveries, but to take them for yourself. Gradually, you will come to the realization that the world is not black and white - it has gray and a lot of colors and intermediate shades. To see them is to accept things as they are.

Catch the rhythm of your life. It's no secret that each of us has our own rhythm of existence. During the crisis, it gets lost, and you need to restore it. There are three ways that you can use. The first is joining to natural rhythms (flickering fire, the sound of pouring water, the sound of rain), the second to mechanical (the sound of wheels on the train, the ticking of the clock), and the third is the inclusion in the rhythms created by other people (rhythmic singing, dances, songs and dances).

Talk to people who have already experienced personala crisis. First, it will give you the feeling that you are not alone on this planet (after all, we are often the most afraid of solitude), and secondly, someone else's experience will be useful to you in terms of opening new means of experiencing the crisis. Each person is unique and, adapting to a difficult situation, inventing something of his own. And suddenly his "own" will be useful to you? To try does not interfere.

Try new things. Directly continue the previous paragraph! But seriously, you have to try new things when you are ready for it. If you decide to jump with a parachute in a state of impasse - your condition may get worse. Listen to yourself, and if you feel inside the small needs for new sensations and global changes - do not forget to satisfy them.

Remember that the crisis is finite. Sometimes you can jump on despair. You will feel that the end and the edge are not visible to all the black whirlpool that has tightened you. At these moments, do not forget that the end will be, and it will be good. Everything depends on you. Keep yourself optimistic even in the most difficult moments.

That's all you wanted to know about the crisis of the person,but were afraid to ask. Well, maybe they did not, but now you all know. The most important thing to remember is that the crisis is experienced and finite, and its result is your new, brilliant and mature personality. The personal crisis is similar to the eruption of the teeth: it is painful, difficult, you can try to relieve it, but you can not miss this period (for example, getting your teeth out of the gums with a special device) is impossible. And it is thanks to the cut teeth that you finally can bite and chew. Also with the person - after going through the crisis, you will gain new experience, maybe even some knowledge and skills. After the crisis, many situations that seemed difficult to you, will be perceived as elementary: "And because of this I was worried?" In general, in a global sense, the crisis is good and useful. So do not be afraid, go for it, and you will succeed! We advise you to read:

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