We are all something from time to timeupset or sad. Such feelings are a completely normal reaction of our psyche to certain stimuli that come from outside. And most of us know how to cope with such a state and clearly understand what needs to be done to feel the joy of life again. But if such a state has dragged on and turned into depression - what to do in this case? How to overcome depression, in what direction should you move?
Find out the cause of depression
To fight the enemy at workon the sly, you need to try to recognize him in person. If you cannot understand the reason for your depression, then look for the key in comparing your life today with the period when nothing prevented you from being happy. The best way to understand your depression is to study it carefully. Use a scale from zero to ten to evaluate the strength of negative emotions and the severity of your condition several times during the day. The best way to do this is to keep a special diary. Evaluate your condition day after day, doing this as often as possible during the day, and be sure to write down what you did during the period of time you are evaluating. As observations show, people who are even severely depressed do not experience a bad mood all the time. Usually, they feel much better when they are doing something - they are at work, busy cooking, visiting friends or relatives, cleaning, etc. And they feel worst in the "standby mode" - on weekends, in the evenings, and so on. So, by observing your condition, you will be able to determine what your blues and poor health are usually associated with. The easiest way to change your emotions for the better is to simply start acting in a way that makes you feel more comfortable. When you can determine what makes you distract yourself from unpleasant thoughts, it will be easier for you to avoid worsening your mood and well-being. Following another rule will help you overcome depression. This rule is as follows: if you want to be happy, then smile more often, be friendly with other people and find as many interests and hobbies in your life as possible. Do not wait until you have a good mood, create it yourself. People suffering from depression who follow this rule feel much better. Such behavior gradually becomes more comfortable and natural for them. In addition, others usually react positively to such changes in behavior, so you will get much more pleasure from communicating with people. Therefore, try not only to work on your mood, but also improve your body language. Improve your non-verbal behavior, which can reveal your depression to others. Do not speak quietly, slowly and boringly in a monotonous voice. Try to show a change in pitch and tone, add enthusiasm to your voice. Watch your posture: do not slouch, keep your back straight and your shoulders straight. Do not lower your head and do not look down all the time. Actively use eye contact with people and do not frown under any circumstances.
Try to correct your bad habits
You have probably already identified your habits thatmake depression worse. After all, you have been keeping a diary of your depression, haven’t you? Now start working on replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. If you tend to blame your depression on circumstances or other people, then fight such thoughts, because they will make you feel helpless. Tell yourself: “I brought this depression on myself. I shouldn’t have reacted this way to this situation or to this person’s actions or words.” Develop self-confidence, practice problem-solving skills, and use more positive thinking in a similar situation next time. If you feel that other people think badly of you, tell yourself: “I can’t read other people’s minds. So I shouldn’t assume that they think one way or another.” Humor will also help you solve many of life’s problems, preventing you from drowning in negativity. If you find it difficult to motivate yourself to do something serious, then try to start small. If you force yourself to just start, you will very quickly find that you even enjoy the first steps in completing a task, and the skills you gain allow you to take the next steps with increasing confidence. So do not let negative thoughts about the upcoming task block your progress towards improvement and interfere with your happiness. Most likely, negative thoughts arise when you lack energy, your mood is low, you find it difficult to endure physical activity, etc. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones, such as: “I only feel like this at the very beginning, it will be much better later”, “I’ll just try to do this. Who knows, maybe I’ll really like it?”, or “Why sit around and be bored? I’d rather try to do this!” Depressed people tend to forget about the feeling of pleasure and the joy of achievement, both in trying to do something new and in many other areas of life. Learn to recognize these feelings in yourself! Develop, cherish even the smallest sprouts of such feelings, be proud of what you do. Tell yourself more often, “Oh, this is not bad! Maybe if I try this a few more times, I’ll like it even more?” Or, “Not bad at all for a first try! I can imagine how great I’ll be doing this next time.” Repeat the activities that give you the greatest sense of satisfaction and pleasure. This will help to consolidate the positive shifts in your mood and perception of reality. And remember, it’s not the one who waits who wins, but the one who acts!
The balance in your life is very important
Every person must maintain a balance betweenpleasures and work. Anyone who is overloaded with work needs to reduce the load and give themselves a chance to rest in order to maintain health. But for people suffering from depression, prolonged rest and inactivity can only do harm, and we have already talked about this. They need to take care to be constantly busy with something. For them, rest should be active. Many doctors and psychologists recommend regular physical exercise to help overcome depression and - what is very important! - improve overall tone and mood. Physical exercise strengthens us, making us more energetic. And deep relaxation helps people find harmony within themselves and helps fight depression, especially in states of unmotivated anxiety. Find out more about various relaxation and meditation techniques and learn how to use them in your life.
Prevent "reward" for passivity or dependent behavior
When you are depressed and complaining,cry, talk about your sadness or discuss your problems, your friends and loved ones probably respond with sympathy and tender love. Unfortunately, such a reaction from loved ones serves as a kind of reward and does not soften, but only feeds your depression. Moreover, it contributes to the fact that you develop dependent behavior. A person is often weak, and he really wants everyone to pity and sympathize with him, almost vying with each other to offer their help. Perhaps you are also waiting for such a “reward” when you are drowning in negative thoughts or self-pity. Someone starts to eat too much, someone overspends money, buying everything in sight, someone abuses alcohol ... It seems to them that this way they can at least feel better for a while. But all this is self-deception. It is necessary to eliminate these and any other “rewards” for depressive behavior. If you really want to feel better, then stop seeking comfort in complaining, sighing, looking sad and crying. Work on yourself to make your social interactions with other people more active and positive, try to show warmth towards them, show interest in their affairs and concerns, help them with something. Ask your friends and loved ones to ignore your behavior during possible bouts of depression. Explain to them that they will be much more helpful to you if they end the phone call or shorten the visit if you start complaining and crying, and spend more time with you and show interest when you act more positively. It is very important to talk about this, because most loved ones and friends usually accept the behavior that corresponds to depression as a given, and try to cheer you up with extra attention and warmth when you feel down.
Look for and develop friendly and romantic relationships
People who consider themselves happy are likeusually have a few very close friends and a lot of acquaintances. Perhaps you also need to find friends? Become more open in communication, try to give people more warmth, look for similar interests - and those with whom you will feel especially comfortable communicating will be drawn to you. Family relationships are often very important for overcoming depression. Gratitude, selfless love and care in marital relations can protect you from depression, even in spite of severe stress; but it also happens that it is family problems that lead to depression. It is also necessary to consciously work on increasing positive behavior in marriage. Perhaps in your family there is no trusting relationship, exchange of feelings and receiving recognition, understanding and emotional support from each other? Exchange of feelings is much more important than just exchanging some other information. Ask your spouse to praise you more often and to say out loud many of the things that usually go without saying and for this reason are not voiced. Let him express his appreciation for what you do every day, and it does not matter how he does it - with a word, a look or an affectionate gesture. You try to act in a similar way towards your spouse. Psychologists note that during depression, people most often begin to interact with their spouse and children in an angry and even hostile tone. Do you shout, constantly sulk over every little thing, remember old grievances that seem to be in the past, try to insult in anger, demand and put forward ultimatums or begin to criticize, overgeneralizing? Such behavior causes many new problems, by no means solving the old ones. In addition, it can become a habit, which will inevitably destroy your closeness with your loved one. Therefore, try to block any manifestations of aggression, no matter how difficult it is.
Once again about the usefulness of the diary
That keeping a diary can help you,we have already talked about. To sum up our conversation about how to overcome depression, we cannot help but mention how your personal diary can be useful. Create special pages in it where you can make a list of life situations that gave you the experience of happiness and joy. Describe the most important moments, including beautiful landscapes, especially warm moments of spiritual closeness with people dear to you, the time when you were especially cheerful and good. Make another list - a list of your positive qualities. Include all your talents, achievements, virtues, and so on. A friend who really wants to help you get out of depression can make a list of your best personality traits for you. A worthy assessment of your positive qualities by other people will be especially valuable for you. Make your own collection of inspiring thoughts, quotes, poems and affirmations. Write life-affirming, positive affirmations for yourself, and then repeat them throughout the day for self-improvement or emotional well-being. For example, you can write down: “I will try to be an example of friendliness and love towards my colleagues,” or “Calmness and serenity fill my heart.” Continue adding more and more elements to your journal, and do not forget to reread what you have written regularly. This will help keep your mind focused on the positive, not the negative aspects of reality. And in the life of a positive person, there is no place for depression! We recommend reading:
