Each of us is familiar with aggression in humans.We are treated rudely, they are rude to us, they push us and curse us with the worst words. In most cases, such treatment seems absolutely outrageous, and we really want to understand how to deal with attacks of aggression and irritability in people to whom we have seemingly done nothing bad? What pushes them to such disgusting behavior? After all, it is not always explained by a simple lack of culture and upbringing! Like many other life phenomena, aggression has its own psychological causes and forms, which we will try to understand before talking about getting rid of it.

What is aggression?

Attacks of aggression have many synonyms:violence, hostility, anger, malice, etc. … They do not always have the same meaning and sense. From a psychological point of view, aggression is any behavior aimed at causing harm to another living being that does not want such treatment. It would seem, what benefit can there be from causing harm to other people? But nature does not create anything in vain. There are different types of aggression, and you will be interested to know that in some cases it can be very, very useful. So do not lump everything together. What are the goals and reasons for aggression in humans?

• Coercion of others to any behavior. Man is a very intelligent and cunning creature. Why do something yourself, if you have the strength to make others "sweat"? In modern society, the manifestation of physical aggression and coercion is certainly not welcome, but forms in the form of moral violence, unfortunately, are still quite common.

• Thrust to power. It so happened that the authorities can rarely be achieved peacefully - one must always walk on the heads and inflict at least some light, and mutilation. Those who need power are very strong, and they do. Therefore, they, in general, are more aggressive than other people. This is especially the sin of men - it is for them that dominance over other males plays a special role.

• The desire to make a certain impression. If any form of aggression is manifested about a person, a different impression may appear: someone will be frightened, someone will want to face off, and someone will have a need for revenge. In order to understand what impression you will make with your aggressiveness, you need to know your communication partner well. And that so it is possible to snatch off nehily or not!

• Desire to cause damage. Agree, some people quite deserve that you behave with it aggressively. For example, Masha, who in the tenth class cunningly and deceitfully took your boyfriend away - she would not be prevented from serving your anger and aggression. The desire to harm another person can be based on different things - the desire to take revenge, something to take away - or maybe quite an independent need. And if signs of aggression appear at you occasionally - do not panic! This happens to all people.

• Psychological discharge. It happens that for the day so much bad will accumulate, that I want to yell at someone or beat. And you find yourself truly grateful to fate, when under the hot hand comes across some harmful and hamovataya aunt in the subway. Then you can relax and recoup on it at full strength! And feel after this quite easily and comfortably.

• Self-defense. Some people are very, very arrogant. Of course, dropping to their level may seem silly or not very decent, but sometimes it's just necessary, otherwise they just "eat" you. In such cases, anger fulfills the function of self-defense: when in our personal space invade, we "show teeth and claws," and then we are left alone. The fight against aggression in this form is meaningless, because we give up its basic function.

These are the main types of aggression.You may like them or not, but it is a fact – we really need aggression. A society in which people do not show hostility towards each other is simply incapable of survival. Therefore, any attempts to find out how to get rid of aggression completely are doomed to failure – it is the same as trying to teach a person to live without love. Some individuals succeed in this, but it is not suitable for everyone.

The origins of aggressive behavior

In addition to goals, anger and malice have moreserious and deep mechanisms influencing its occurrence. The psychological causes of aggression in people can be completely different: each more or less famous psychologist tried to put forward his hypothesis about how and where it comes from. At present, the following main forms and types of aggression can be distinguished:

Aggression as an instinct. Many psychologists believe that the nature of the emergence of aggressive behavior in humans is instinctive. Aggression contributes to survival, performing three main functions: the struggle for territory and food resources, the improvement of the gene pool and the protection of offspring. Aggressive energy constantly arises in the human body, accumulates and at some point breaks out. Each has its own borders, the transition through which is fraught with hostility in behavior. Aggression also could get to the person from the ancestors-hunters. Obviously, hunting nature can be the impetus for violence, wars and destruction. Thus, we can talk about the inevitability of aggression and the complexity with its control.

Aggression as a result of the inability to implementtheir needs. This is a completely different approach: we all faced the inability to satisfy our desires because of any obstacles, and in such a situation, anger and aggression almost always appear. They can be directed at other people, on things or even on themselves. There are also variations in the ways of manifestation of aggression: we can shout at someone, push or start to wail: "It's all my fault! There is no forgiveness for me! ". The saddest thing is that such a way of responding, if it is used often, starts to become a habit, but its effectiveness for solving problems and overcoming those very notorious obstacles seems very doubtful.

Aggression as a result of learning. As a child, we all learned from adults: we imitated them in a manner to speak, eat, dress and behave as a whole. Similarly, watching adults, we learned aggressive behavior: if we saw how our mom and dad constantly yell at each other and around people, this way of behavior was remembered by us as the only true one. Of course, there are other factors that increase the likelihood of aggression in adulthood - this is unacceptable treatment, constant nagging and attacks from adults and even direct instructions: "Well, you're so small! Give the change to this boy! ". A person who grows in such a situation, it is difficult to be quiet, sweet and fluffy. However, in this case he has the opportunity to learn how to control his aggression by developing self-regulation ability, observing people who are able to calmly resolve conflicts and encourage themselves for every manifestation of meekness and philanthropy.

What influences aggression?

With the psychological essence of aggression wefigured it out. It is inherent in every person, and its existence is justified by many goals and reasons. However, there are things that can aggravate aggressive behavior and make it destructive. These include the peculiarities of culture and upbringing, the peculiarities of the situation and some personality traits. The tendency to aggression is strongly influenced by the situation in society, in particular, cultural norms - how others evaluate hostile behavior. In some cultures, aggression is encouraged, and in others - condemned. Mass media also have a great influence on a person. If they constantly broadcast information about violence, threats and explosions, this will be perceived as something normal and, accordingly, increase the likelihood of aggressive behavior. There is little use in treating aggression in such a society, since everything very quickly returns to its original state. The family situation can also affect attacks of aggression and the frequency of their manifestation. For example, children who grew up in single-parent families are more likely to show various forms of hostility towards other people. But the family can be complete and have many children – in such families, aggression is determined by the relationships between brothers and sisters: if they are used to arguing and fighting among themselves, then at an older age they will be very hostile and impulsive. The family climate also contributes to this problem: how cruelly parents punish their children, interfere in their lives and conflicts between them, are inconsistent in establishing rules and discipline, etc. ... But it is not only about some long-term factors. In some situations, it is almost impossible not to be aggressive. As a rule, in such circumstances we are provoked to aggression or such uncomfortable conditions are created that we cannot tolerate. The presence of outside observers in such a situation is the only thing that can reduce the intensity of passions. There are also groups of people whose very appearance can cause aggression in a person, for example, a divorced woman who meets men similar to her ex-husband dreams of doing something bad to them. Sometimes we are irritated by some physical characteristics and situations: heat, stuffiness, noise, crowding, polluted air, etc. … And, of course, the most important factor is the personal factor. Some traits of our character can increase the likelihood of an aggressive reaction to any, seemingly, even the most insignificant event. These include irritability and emotional sensitivity, high anxiety, the desire to take responsibility for everything that happens, assertiveness and a desire for achievements.

How to avoid aggression in life

With the reasons that cause aggressive behavior,In general, everything is clear. However, it does not make it easier, because you want not only to know, but also to understand how to deal with aggression from others. If you want to influence someone, then the most effective system is reward and punishment. Its essence is that good behavior of a person is encouraged by you, and bad behavior is punished. Some semblance of training occurs, because any person wants comfort and pleasure, and he avoids their opposite. However, there are a number of features in using this system:

• A balance between encouragement and punishment is necessary: ​​if you go overboard with something, the result may not be so effective.

• Between aggressive reaction and punishment should pass a minimum period of time.

• The punishment must be noticeably severe and unpleasant.

• The aggressor should realize that some of his actions entail punishment.

• The probability of punishment should be quite large.

What if you want to know how?справиться с агрессией, принадлежащей вам? Ответ один – саморегуляция. Вы можете даже использовать ту же самую систему поощрений и наказаний – только вы сами будете и в роли объекта, и в роли воспитателя. Например, в качестве наказания для вас могут быть угрызения совести или лишение себя каких-то благ, а в качестве поощрения – попытки доставить себе удовольствие. Также эффективными могут быть действия по изменению своего отношения к ситуации. Как было сказано выше, агрессия чаще всего возникает в ситуации явного неудовольствия и наличия препятствий к достижению важной для человека цели. Вы злитесь на обстоятельства, и возможны несколько вариантов выхода этой злости: злиться на других, на себя или попытаться перевести эту энергию в более конструктивную Задумайтесь над тем, что агрессия вам ничего не даст, лишь испортит настроение. Вместо этого вы можете постараться преодолеть препятствие и решить проблему – тогда ваша злость пройдет сама собой. Очень часто вспышки агрессии и гнева у нас вызывают вещи, которые мы не можем принять. Например, когда кто-то, с нашей точки зрения, живет неправильно или делает что-то, что не вписывается в нашу картину мира. Для того чтобы такие вещи не вызывали у вас приступ злости, нужно поработать над принятием других. Вы должны принять тот факт, что каждый человек волен жить и делать так, как ему хочется, в том числе и вы. Каждый раз злясь и осуждая кого-то, попробуйте поставить себя на его место – может быть, это поможет вам лучше понять человека. Старайтесь не накапливать в себе энергию злости и раздражения. Когда мы постоянно сдерживаем себя, это выматывает, и мы становимся агрессивнее. Надо понимать, что столько энергии не может бесконечно долго находиться в нас – рано или поздно произойдет выплеск ее наружу. Только он может быть постепенным и аккуратным, а может быть всеразрушающим. Согласитесь, что первый вариант является гораздо более предпочтительным. Если вы чувствуете, что волна злости накатывает на вас и вы скоро начнете рвать и метать – сделайте паузу. Попробуйте выйти из ситуации или отвлечься. Можно закрыть глаза и сосчитать до десяти, можно выйти из комнаты или просто мысленно набрать в рот воды при разговоре с раздражающим человеком. Вполне возможно, что это убережет вас от проявления ненужной агрессии. Есть вещи, которые вы не можете изменить и убрать из вашей жизни. Так или иначе, вам придется с ними сосуществовать. Вы можете злиться на них и портить себе жизнь, а можете попытаться принять и начать относиться к ним со спокойным равнодушием. Кроме того, необходимо избегать хронической усталости, ведь очень часто именно она лежит в основе агрессии и раздражительности. Поэтому при подозрении на усталость дайте себе передышку, например, устройте себе выходной и займитесь тем, чем давно хотели заняться. Человек становится злым и агрессивным в ситуации хронического недовольства своей жизнью. Это недовольство может быть вызвано разными причинами: неудачами на личном фронте, постоянной усталостью или большим количеством неприятных людей в жизни. И если вы хотите понять, как справиться с агрессией, необходимо внести в свою жизнь позитивные изменения. Попробуйте обозначить для себя положительные моменты – так вам будет проще им радоваться. Будьте внимательнее к себе, старайтесь жить так, чтобы жизнь приносила вам удовольствие. Ведь довольный человек гораздо чаще бывает спокойным и уравновешенным, чем недовольный. Советуем почитать:

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