Each of us is familiar with the aggression of a person. We are rude, rude, they push us and scold us with the last words. In most cases, this treatment seems absolutely outrageous, and really want to understand how to deal with attacks of aggression and irritability in people who we seem to have done nothing wrong? What pushes them at such a disgusting behavior? After all, not always it is due to a simple lack of culture and upbringing! Like many other life phenomena, aggression has its own psychological causes and forms, in which we will try to understand before we talk about getting rid of it.
What is aggression?
Attacks of aggression have many synonyms: violence, hostility, anger, anger, etc. ... Far from always they have the same meaning and meaning. From the point of view of psychology, aggression is any behavior aimed at causing harm to another living being who does not want such treatment. It would seem, what could be the benefit of hurting other people? But nature creates nothing in vain. There are different types of aggression, and you will be interested to know that in some cases it is very, very useful. So it is not worthwhile to row everything one size fits all. What are the goals and causes of aggression in humans?
- Coercion of others to any behavior. Man is a very intelligent and cunning creature. Why do something yourself, if you have the strength to make others "sweat"? In modern society, the manifestation of physical aggression and coercion is certainly not welcome, but forms in the form of moral violence, unfortunately, are still quite common.
- Thrust to power. It so happened that the authorities can rarely be achieved peacefully - one must always walk on the heads and inflict at least some light, and mutilation. Those who need power are very strong, and they do. Therefore, they, in general, are more aggressive than other people. This is especially the sin of men - it is for them that dominance over other males plays a special role.
- The desire to make a certain impression. If any form of aggression is manifested about a person, a different impression may appear: someone will be frightened, someone will want to face off, and someone will have a need for revenge. In order to understand what impression you will make with your aggressiveness, you need to know your communication partner well. And that so it is possible to snatch off nehily or not!
- Desire to cause damage. Agree, some people quite deserve that you behave with it aggressively. For example, Masha, who in the tenth class cunningly and deceitfully took your boyfriend away - she would not be prevented from serving your anger and aggression. The desire to harm another person can be based on different things - the desire to take revenge, something to take away - or maybe quite an independent need. And if signs of aggression appear at you occasionally - do not panic! This happens to all people.
- Psychological discharge. It happens that for the day so much bad will accumulate, that I want to yell at someone or beat. And you find yourself truly grateful to fate, when under the hot hand comes across some harmful and hamovataya aunt in the subway. Then you can relax and recoup on it at full strength! And feel after this quite easily and comfortably.
- Self-defense. Some people are very, very arrogant. Of course, dropping to their level may seem silly or not very decent, but sometimes it's just necessary, otherwise they just "eat" you. In such cases, anger fulfills the function of self-defense: when in our personal space invade, we "show teeth and claws," and then we are left alone. The fight against aggression in this form is meaningless, because we give up its basic function.
These are the main types of aggression. They may like or not like, but this is a fact - we really need aggression. A society in which people would not be hostile towards each other is simply unable to survive. Therefore, any attempts to learn how to get rid of aggression completely, are doomed to failure in advance - it's the same as trying to teach a person to live without love. Individual individuals manage to do this, but this does not suit everyone.
The origins of aggressive behavior
In addition to goals, anger and anger have moreserious and deep mechanisms affecting its occurrence. Psychological causes of aggression in people can be completely different: every more or less well-known psychologist tried to put forward his hypothesis about how and where it comes from. At present, the following main forms and types of aggression can be distinguished:
What influences aggression?
With the psychological essence of aggression, wefigured out. It is inherent in every person, and its existence is justified by a mass of goals and causes. However, there are things that can aggravate aggressive behavior and make it destructive. These include the characteristics of culture and upbringing, the peculiarities of the situation and some personal traits. The situation in the society, in particular, cultural norms - how others evaluate the hostile behavior is quite strong on the propensity to aggression. In some cultures, aggression is encouraged, and in others - is blamed. Also, the media has a great influence on people. If they constantly broadcast information about violence, threats and explosions, it will be perceived as something normal and, accordingly, increase the likelihood of aggressive behavior. From the treatment of aggression in such a society is of little use, since everything very quickly returns to its original state. The family situation is also able to influence the attacks of aggression and the frequency of their manifestation. For example, children who grew up in single-parent families are more likely to manifest different forms of hostility towards other people. But a family can be full and many children. In such families, aggression is determined by the relations between brothers and sisters: if they are accustomed to swear and fight among themselves, then at an older age they will be very hostile and impulsive. The family climate also contributes to this problem: how much parents cruelly punish their children, interfere in their lives and conflicts between them, are inconsistent in establishing rules and discipline, etc. ... But the point is not only in some long-playing factors. In some situations it is almost impossible not to be aggressive. As a rule, in such circumstances, we are provoked to aggression or create such uncomfortable conditions that we can not tolerate. The presence in this situation of outside observers is the only thing that can reduce the intensity of passions. There are also groups of people who, by their very appearance, can cause aggression in a person, for example, a divorced woman who meets men like her ex-husband dreams of doing something bad for them. Sometimes we are annoyed by some physical characteristics and situations: heat, stuffiness, noise, tightness, polluted air, etc. ... And, of course, the most important is a personal factor. Some features of our character may increase the likelihood of an aggressive reaction to any seemingly insignificant event. These include irritability and emotional sensitivity, high anxiety, the desire to take responsibility for everything that happens to oneself, assertiveness and the desire to achieve.
How to avoid aggression in life
With the causes of aggressive behavior, inIn general, everything is clear. However, it does not become easier because it would be desirable not only to know, but also to understand how to deal with aggression from others. If you want to influence a person, the most effective is the system of encouragement and punishment. Its essence is that good behavior of a person is encouraged by you, and a bad one is punished. There is a kind of training, because every person wants comfort and pleasure, and he avoids their opposite. However, there are a number of features in using this system:
- A balance between encouragement and punishment is necessary: if you go overboard with something, the result may not be so effective.
- Between aggressive reaction and punishment should pass a minimum period of time.
- The punishment must be noticeably severe and unpleasant.
- The aggressor should realize that some of his actions entail punishment.
- The probability of punishment should be quite large.
And what if you want to know howcope with the aggression that belongs to you? The answer is self-regulation. You can even use the same system of incentives and punishments - only you yourself will be in the role of the object, and in the role of educator. For example, as punishment you may have remorse or deprivation of yourself of some benefits, and as an encouragement - attempts to please yourself. Also, actions to change one's attitude towards the situation can be effective. As it was said above, aggression most often arises in the situation of obvious displeasure and the presence of obstacles to the achievement of an important human goal. You are angry with the circumstances, and several options are possible for this anger to come out: to be angry with others, to yourself, or to try to translate this energy into a more constructive way. Think about the fact that aggression will not give you anything, just spoil the mood. Instead, you can try to overcome the obstacle and solve the problem - then your anger will pass by itself. Very often outbreaks of aggression and anger in us cause things that we can not accept. For example, when someone, from our point of view, lives wrong or does something that does not fit into our picture of the world. In order that such things do not cause you an attack of anger, you need to work on the acceptance of others. You must accept the fact that everyone is free to live and do as he or she wants, including you. Every time angry and condemning someone, try to put yourself in his place - maybe this will help you better understand the person. Try not to accumulate in yourself the energy of anger and irritation. When we constantly restrain ourselves, it is exhausting, and we become more aggressive. We must understand that so much energy can not endlessly be in us - sooner or later there will be a splash out of it. Only it can be gradual and accurate, and can be all-destructive. Agree that the first option is much more preferable. If you feel that a wave of anger is rolling in on you and you will soon start tearing and throwing - pause. Try to get out of the situation or get distracted. You can close your eyes and count to ten, you can leave the room or just mentally put water in your mouth when talking with an annoying person. It is possible that this will save you from manifesting unnecessary aggression. There are things that you can not change and remove from your life. Either way, you will have to coexist with them. You can be angry with them and spoil your life, or you can try to accept and begin to treat them with calm indifference. In addition, you must avoid chronic fatigue, because very often it is the basis of aggression and irritability. Therefore, if you are suspicious of fatigue, give yourself a break, for example, arrange a day off and do what you have long wanted to do. A person becomes angry and aggressive in a situation of chronic discontent with his life. This discontent can be caused by different reasons: failure on the personal front, constant fatigue or a lot of unpleasant people in life. And if you want to understand how to cope with aggression, you need to make positive changes in your life. Try to identify positive points for yourself - so it will be easier for them to rejoice. Be attentive to yourself, try to live so that life brings you pleasure. After all, a satisfied person is much more often calm and balanced than a dissatisfied person. We advise you to read: