Like it or not, but necessaryrecognize - we women, very much like rumors and gossip. And, all women, regardless of our age, status and place of residence. And so - in the whole world and at all times. The opposite sex clearly remembers that there are only twenty-four hours in the day, so most of the time it spends on productive work. And we behind conversations can and in general account of time lose. And why? It is believed that men are worried about problems more global than women. They bear on their shoulders the burden of anxiety for the whole world: men in Russia are worried about who will become the next president in the United States and what fiscal policy will be pursued by them; American men are worried about how many people died in Iraq; of Iraqi men worried about how many children were orphaned in Afghanistan ... Of course, we women are puzzling over more prosaic things - studying children, the health and mood of the family, the need to buy a gift for the wedding of a friend, condolences to neighbors about the death of the head of the family and other problems of such kind. We do not rush to save the world, so we can always find time for "secular conversation".
Is gossip the result of evolution?
Yes, gossip is indeed an evolutionarymodel of behavior. Initially, they were necessary in order to be aware of all that is happening in the tribe, and this was really a necessary survival strategy. The exchange of news provided the basis for coordinating efforts and developing collective goals. In fact, without rumors and gossip there would be no civilization! Gossip appeared when people began to create large tribes. The more people, the more opportunities you have to talk to someone. Gossip became a kind of filter, with which you could learn the most interesting about a person or event, omitting dull details. This was a very effective method of transferring information to a large group of people, which made it possible to significantly save time and effort. And who was more comfortable with the transfer of information? Of course, to someone who spent less time to stay outside the birthplace of the cave. Men with greater physical strength, constantly chasing mammoths, then from saber-toothed tigers ran - that is, spent a lot of time hunting. There was no time for talking. But women, courting children and supporting the fire in the hearth, had fun talking about that and that. Since then, and it has become a rule - men are engaged in serious business, and women are happy to gossip.
Why are they gossiping today?
Of course, today we do not need to shareinformation for survival. So why has not a single woman been so amused by "rumors + gossip + scandals"? Even the most decent, honest and serious girl, no, no, and will wash somebody's bones. Psychologists (probably the male part of them) became interested in why women can not deny themselves a blame, but such a pleasant pleasure. And that's what they found out:
- Gossip gives women a sense of unity with otherspeople. When you tell someone something in secret, you thereby show that you trust this person. And this means that when you gossip, you establish a contact based on trust.
- Gossip and rumors help to make friends. After all, trust involves establishing a closer relationship than a simple acquaintance. And those who are already friendly, discussion of gossip and rumors helps to maintain the conversation, when all the interesting topics for conversation have been exhausted.
- We gossip to reduce the level of stress. Chatting - and relaxing. Like men who like to play video games. And yet, our psyche is so arranged - when we hear bad news about others, it makes us feel better. We experience the joy that our life turns out to be better than some. No, of course, we are not happy that someone, for example, was fired. We are happy from the realization that our own lives are heading in the right direction.
- We get "forbidden" pleasure, washingSomeone has bones. Each of us knows that there is nothing good in talking about someone badly. Nevertheless, from time to time we allow ourselves this forbidden pleasure. It's like eating a cake, knowing that you're on a diet. Gossip makes you feel a little guilty, and it's nice to tickle our nerves.
- Gossips help "process" the notableevents, contributing to the acquisition of our experience. Each woman has a need to share with someone else something significant for herself to analyze and digest what has happened to her.
- Gossip helps women analyze theirrelationships with other people. If men do not care how others treat them, it is very important for beautiful ladies. And it is gossip that gives them the opportunity to learn as much as possible about the relationship of people to each other.
- Women gossip to vent their feelings. Especially often young ladies resort to gossip, when they are something very upset, or in love, or jealous. In a word, when they are agitated by something. All women - creatures are very emotional, and the exchange of emotions is a vital element of the psyche of any woman.
- Gossip allows women to share secrets. That's why they like to gossip that they trust each other. Men can deny this as much as they like, but only women know how to be friends in real life, while having a deep faith in each other. Therefore, even the most "terrible" ones can trust secrets. But men hardly trust their friends for one hundred percent. And in vain, because they have lost a very good source of information!
Is gossip always harmless?
Yes, whatever you say, but women like to chatmuch more than men. No, men, of course, also like to spoon in their spare time in the company of their kind. But they talk innocuous enough: sports, fishing, outstanding sexual success ... Children's babble compared to what women sometimes discuss! Most ladies like to talk about fashion handbags, shoes, makeup, clothes, guys or husbands; but some of them prefer to talk about things that go beyond the typical themes for ladies. Moreover, they are just looking for a new reason to talk about any piquant news. And the most terrible thing about them is that they are hungry for digging in mud, in a small or big foolishness committed by someone. Most of the time, if they do not have a reason for gossip, they sniff out and hunt down, rummage in someone's dirty underwear, in order to get some scandalous news into the light of the world and to a general discussion. And we are not talking about journalists who earn their living by watching the personal life of celebrities. We are talking about ordinary women, our neighbors or co-workers who believe that they have the right to poke their noses into any crevice and discuss any detail of our life with you. These women feel unprotected. What can they think of better to hide their shortcomings and low self-esteem than to speak ill of other people, thereby diverting attention from their imperfection? Pouring mud on others, they feel at the same time cleaner than the person they condemn. By belittling others, they try to rise themselves. Communicate with such people is not safe, because they are like scavengers, they collect all sorts of muck. Only garbage collect dirt to clean our streets, and these women do the same, to then multiply this mud and pour it all around them. With such people it is dangerous to communicate, because they do not spare anyone. Today they are smiling sweetly to you, and tomorrow they will tell you about the stories with unpleasant smell about you.
We gossip, we gossip and we will gossip!
Yes, whatever you say, but gossip and rumorsstill remain a favorite occupation for women. And it was not even worth listing all the causes found by psychologists - women are gossiping, because "they do it all". It is difficult to ignore gossip and stay away from gossip, because they are distributed everywhere - in every school, university, office and every home. Often gossip is even used as a tool for spreading positive or negative rumors - to create the "right" mood. And what is left for us? If we can not avoid rumors, then we can only join and utter. The main thing is to not get in mud! After all, as Confucius said, who spread rumors, he threw away virtue.