All of us at least once in my life hadto experience parting with a loved one, and if you did not want to break the love relationship, then going through it will be much more difficult. Many people start to wonder, why it happened, and can not find a way how to forget a man who during some life span was perhaps the most important thing in the whole world for them. Psychology knows not so many methods of getting rid of memories of a loved one, because such feelings and their experience entirely depend on the various individual characteristics of each individual person. However, there are universal ways with which you can quickly forget your loved one and start living a full life again. Let's consider these methods a little more in detail.
What should I do to get rid of the memory of my beloved?
Remove all things reminiscent of once belovedman To permanently get rid of the constant thoughts about the person who was dear to you, sometimes it is enough to simply remove from your life all the things that remind him. Most often, such things can include all kinds of gifts, small souvenirs, postcards and notes that he gave to you, as well as your forgotten clothes, umbrellas, bags, disks and other personal things that your ex-lover did not have time to pick up or simply not I considered it necessary to do this. If you wish, you can give various things that are necessary in everyday life, but remind you of things about it, to friends or acquaintances, but it is much better to take them and without any regrets throw them away, rigidly suppressing your consciousness attempts to leave at least something that you particularly like. Psychology says that by "clearing" your living space from any things that can remind you of a failed novel, for the first few days you will probably feel a little uncomfortable, but already literally a week later you will feel a complete renewal of your thoughts and, perhaps even catch yourself, that for the whole day they never remembered the former lover. Get rid of psychological "anchors" "Anchors" in psychology are called any moments that cause in a person a certain emotional reaction with a very bright coloration, which often arises at a subconscious level and causes the emergence of certain feelings. So, examples of such "anchors" that prevent a loved one from forgetting once are a musical composition that sounded on your first date or during any other significant moment; places in which you often liked to walk together; common friends and the like. If you do not remove such "anchors" from your life, then forgetting an expensive person to whom you have experienced any feelings will be very, very difficult even for those people who have a rare ability to control their thoughts and emotions. The fact is that the "anchors" act solely on the subconscious and, whether you like it or not, cause a surge of certain emotions. The most difficult thing is to reveal all the moments and phenomena reminding you of the former beloved, try not to analyze why exactly these or those situations cause certain feelings in you, and try to completely exclude them from your life. To do such a painstaking job will take more than a week, but as a result, you will be able to get rid of the strongest subconscious signals that prevent you from quickly forgetting the one with whom you had to part. In addition, such deep independent work on oneself allows us to significantly develop the ability to cope with any difficult life situations and try to sort out a little in such an interesting science as psychology. Go on a trip The Council to embark on a journey that modern psychology gives in every second difficult life situation already seems a bit "worn out", and therefore less effective. However, in case you are concerned with the question of how to forget a person who once gave you the happiest moments of life, such advice is actually one of the most effective. The fact is that after taking a vacation and having decided to go on a trip, any person, as a rule, is already pre-configured for a positive wave, and getting to the destination, further deepens into a positive perception of life due to the presence of a large number of new impressions. If such a rest is supplemented with light and pleasant physical exercises in the fresh air, as well as a healthy tasty meal with an abundance of fruits and vegetables, then "enlightenment" of thoughts will not keep you waiting. Rest can be chosen absolutely any, as they say, to your taste, because its purpose is complete relaxation and spending time exactly the way you like it most. The only undesirable type of rest in order to forget the former lover is the daily lying on the beach, because the brains that are not engaged in this case begin to "throw" their thoughts to the owner only about whom you had to part with recently. And in general, the most effective on vacation is the principle of "the more risky and unusual, the better", as it allows in most cases completely to get rid of any thoughts about a person who once was not indifferent to you. Remember all its negative qualitiesNormally, the person to whom you are experiencing strong romantic feelings or who just like you very much, appears before the eyes in a "pink" light, not allowing you to see even the slightest of his shortcomings and negative aspects of the character. However, even in couples with experience who have lived together for more than one year, partners can notice certain shortcomings in each other's behavior, but they may not attach importance to them, so that the picture of almost ideal romantic relationships remains in the mind. This, of course, is pure water self-deception, which simply allows for a long time to exist in a comfortable emotional and psychological state. However, at the moment when parting with a loved one, we most often completely forget all the negative aspects of the already existing union, and only joyful moments pass through our mind's eye. You can continue to entertain yourself with pleasant memories, but you will not be able to forget the former lover in this way. In order to get rid of mental dependence on a loved one, one should try to remember all the negative features of his character, as well as any unpleasant situations connected with him, and, most importantly, write it all down on paper. In the most famous works on psychology it says that you can recall all sorts of "sins" and negative features of your former second half, but you can really realize all this only when you have a detailed list before your eyes. To write down everything follows, up to the most insignificant trifles, since with each negative feature the action of such a way of forgetting the lover only intensifies. Having written such a list, it is necessary at least several times a day (and it is better with every free minute) to reread it until you understand that there is simply no need to regret the unrelated relations with such a rude, unpleasant and unattractive type. Such a method very often allows not only to quickly forget the life partner that has not taken place, but also to develop a good habit of paying attention not only to the advantages, but also to the shortcomings of people who at first glance are often not very noticeable, but can subsequently significantly influence the construction of -or relations with this person. Leave the attempts to forget One of the most controversial, but quite effective in many "neglected" cases, the way of forgetting a person is the deliberate cultivation of any, even the smallest thoughts about it. You should try to think about your former second half every second without being distracted by any other thoughts. Every day it is necessary to try to increase the duration of memories of a loved one, filling them with any "gaps" in thoughts, including during occasional free minutes at work or school. It would seem that such advice is completely absurd, because you have a completely opposite goal, but many people are just such hypertrophied mental attention to their former life companion and helps to forget it. The fact is that, by forcibly summoning certain thoughts in your brain, eventually you will achieve that your subconscious will begin actively resisting them and literally "pushing" them with completely new and, as a rule, much more joyful and positive thoughts. Despite all the effectiveness, such a method can only be used when others have proved ineffective. Find a new romantic hobby Progressive psychology offers another bold way that allows you to forget once a loved one - just to fall in love again and turn a dizzying romance, the emotions of which will allow you to dislodge thoughts about the failed second half. This method can only be used if you know for sure that new feelings and impressions can easily lead you out of any state characterized by such negative manifestations as melancholy, apathy, lethargy and the like. However, even if you decide to start a new romance, this does not mean that it's worth "rushing" at the first person you meet, as such relationships can lead to an even greater immersion in a state close to depression. It's just worth communicating with new people, getting acquainted with those who have similar interests, starting an active social life, enrolling in dancing or any courses that involve learning something that has long attracted you. In general, the more active life you lead, the sooner you will meet a new love and be able to immerse yourself in a romantic relationship, completely forgetting and a former lover. Just wait. Very often people startfeverishly look for ways how to make oneself forget a person, when only a few weeks or even days passed after the parting. Of course, in such cases, there can not be any effectiveness of forgetting, for it is not possible to quickly get rid of thoughts about a person who yesterday was for you one of the most expensive in this world. Psychology as a science, most closely engaged in the problem of human feelings and emotions in a variety of planes, advises simply to have patience and wait until the first, most vivid negative impressions of the gap are not extinguished, and life will not enter a more familiar channel. Trying to forget a loved one for a couple of days or weeks is stupid and inefficient, because at a subconscious level you will still consider him to be your close person for at least a few months. Particularly positive people who like life in all its manifestations, for a complete disappearance of thoughts about the former beloved, may be enough for 2-3 weeks, but for more impressionable personalities who are used to experiencing everything at a very deep inner level, for forgetting a truly beloved person may be needed even for about a year. However, to what type you would treat, in any case, it is necessary to trust the flow of time, which, as is known, is the best healer in getting rid of all heart experiences. Despite the fact that now the opportunity to forget a loved one can seem completely unreal to you, remember that many people all over the world managed to get rid of obsessive thoughts about a former lover forever and start living a new, bright and rich life. If you are not too lazy and take advantage of all the advice from our article, you will surely succeed in such a difficult business as forgetting once a loved one. If, after having tried all the methods described above in practice, you have not achieved the desired "oblivion", it is only necessary to consult a psychologist who will help to forget the failed second half once and for all.