Whether someone likes it or not, it is necessaryLet's face it - we women love rumors and gossip. And all women, regardless of our age, status and place of residence. And this is true all over the world and at all times. The opposite sex clearly remembers that there are only twenty-four hours in a day, so they spend most of their time on productive work. And we can lose track of time while talking. And why is that? It is believed that men are concerned about more global problems than women. They bear the burden of anxiety for the entire world: men in Russia are concerned about who will become the next president of the United States and what budget policy he will pursue; American men are concerned about how many people died in Iraq; Iraqi men are concerned about how many children were left orphans in Afghanistan... Of course, we women rack our brains over more prosaic things - children's education, the health and mood of household members, the need to buy a gift for a friend's wedding, write a condolence letter to neighbors on the death of the head of the family and other problems of this kind. We are not in a rush to save the world, so we can always find time for “small talk.”

Is gossip the result of evolution?

Yes, gossip really isevolutionary model of behavior. Initially, they were necessary in order to stay informed about everything that was happening in the tribe, and this was a truly necessary survival strategy. The exchange of news created the basis for coordinating efforts and developing collective goals. In fact, without rumors and gossip, there would be no civilization! Gossip appeared when people began to create large tribes. The more people, the more opportunities there are to talk to someone. Gossip became a kind of filter with which you could find out the most interesting things about a person or event, omitting boring details. This was a very effective method of transmitting information in a large group of people, allowing you to significantly save time and effort. And who was more comfortable transmitting information? Of course, the one who spent less time outside his native cave. Men with greater physical strength were constantly chasing mammoths, then running from saber-toothed tigers - that is, they spent a lot of time hunting. There was no time for talking. But women, while looking after the children and keeping the fire going, entertained themselves with conversations about this and that. Since then, it has been that way - men are busy with serious matters, and women enjoy gossiping.

Why are they gossiping today?

Of course, today we have no needsharing information for the sake of survival. So why hasn't any woman escaped the entertainment of "rumors + gossip + scandals"? Even the most decent, honest and serious girl will wash someone's bones every now and then. Psychologists (probably the male part of them) became interested in the reasons why women cannot deny themselves this reprehensible, but such a pleasant pleasure. And here's what they found out:

• Gossip gives women a sense of unity with otherspeople. When you tell someone something in secret, you thereby show that you trust this person. And this means that when you gossip, you establish a contact based on trust.
• Gossip and rumors help to make friends. After all, trust involves establishing a closer relationship than a simple acquaintance. And those who are already friendly, discussion of gossip and rumors helps to maintain the conversation, when all the interesting topics for conversation have been exhausted.
• We gossip to reduce stress levels.We chat - and relax. Like men who like to play video games. And our psyche is designed this way - when we hear bad news about others, it makes us feel better. We feel happy that our life turns out to be better than someone else's. No, of course, we are not happy that someone, for example, was fired. We are happy from the realization that our own life is going in the right direction.
• We get "forbidden" pleasure, washingSomeone has bones. Each of us knows that there is nothing good in talking about someone badly. Nevertheless, from time to time we allow ourselves this forbidden pleasure. It's like eating a cake, knowing that you're on a diet. Gossip makes you feel a little guilty, and it's nice to tickle our nerves.
• Gossips help "process" the notableevents, contributing to the acquisition of our experience. Each woman has a need to share with someone else something significant for herself to analyze and digest what has happened to her.
• Gossip helps women analyze theirrelationships with other people. If men do not care how others treat them, it is very important for beautiful ladies. And it is gossip that gives them the opportunity to learn as much as possible about the relationship of people to each other.
• Women gossip to vent their feelings. Especially often young ladies resort to gossip, when they are something very upset, or in love, or jealous. In a word, when they are agitated by something. All women - creatures are very emotional, and the exchange of emotions is a vital element of the psyche of any woman.
• Gossip allows women to share secrets. That's why they like to gossip that they trust each other. Men can deny this as much as they like, but only women know how to be friends in real life, while having a deep faith in each other. Therefore, even the most "terrible" ones can trust secrets. But men hardly trust their friends for one hundred percent. And in vain, because they have lost a very good source of information!

Is gossip always harmless?

Yes, whatever you say, women love to chatmuch more than men. Of course, men also like to gossip in their free time in the company of their own kind. But their conversations are quite harmless: sports, fishing, outstanding sexual successes... Child's play compared to what women sometimes discuss! Most ladies like to talk about fashionable handbags, shoes, make-up, clothes, boyfriends or husbands; but some of them prefer to talk about things that go beyond the typical topics for young ladies. Moreover, they are downright looking for a new reason to talk about any spicy news. And the worst thing about them is that they are eager to dig in the dirt, in someone's small or big stupidity. Most of the time, if they have no reason to gossip, they sniff out and track down, rummage through someone's dirty laundry in order to drag some scandalous news into the light of day and for general discussion. And we are not talking about journalists who earn their living by spying on the personal lives of celebrities. We are talking about ordinary women, our neighbors or co-workers, who believe that they have the right to poke their noses into any crack and discuss any detail of our lives. These women feel unprotected. What better way can they come up with to hide their shortcomings and low self-esteem than to say nasty things about other people, thereby diverting attention from their own imperfections? By pouring dirt on others, they feel cleaner than the person they are judging. By belittling others, they try to elevate themselves. It can be unsafe to communicate with such people, because they are like garbage collectors, collecting all sorts of nastiness. Only garbage collectors collect dirt to clean our streets, and these women do the same thing in order to then multiply this dirt and pour it all around them. It can be dangerous to communicate with such people, because they spare no one. Today they smile sweetly at you, but tomorrow they will be telling you stories about you with great enthusiasm and an unpleasant odor.

We gossip, we gossip and we will gossip!

Yes, whatever you say, but gossip and rumorsare still a favorite pastime for women. And it is not even worth listing all the reasons found by psychologists - women gossip because "everyone does it". It is difficult to ignore gossip and stay away from gossip, because it is widespread everywhere - in every school, university, office and every home. Often gossip is even used as a tool to spread positive or negative rumors - to create the "right" mood. So what can we do? If we cannot avoid rumors, then all we can do is join in and gossip. The main thing is not to get into trouble! After all, as Confucius said, he who spreads rumors has cast aside virtue.

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