Self-confidence… Sometimes it seems thatit's something that everyone knows about, but keeps quiet - apparently, they are hiding the secret of their happiness. Although, in general, there is nothing to hide: everyone can become self-confident - you just need to get off your butt and start changing something in your life. What exactly needs to be changed, we will tell you in this article. Self-confidence means that you believe in the one you see in the mirror every morning. Confidence is very closely related to self-esteem, but is not equal to it. Low self-esteem - is when you consider yourself bad and worthless. Low self-confidence - when it seems to you that nothing will work out for you. One is about your qualities, and the other is about your actions.
Steps to educating confidence
All these psychological calculations are veryinteresting in theory, but what about in practice? In reality, it turns out that in order to cultivate self-confidence, you need to improve your self-esteem and believe in your own strength, and for this you need to do something. We offer you six steps that will bring you closer to personal harmony.
Love for yourself
The cornerstone of happiness, without whicha full life is impossible. How does the opposite phenomenon manifest itself? You do not believe that you can be loved. It seems to you that you have never done anything truly cool and useful. All your achievements are connected with luck and a special combination of circumstances, and your failures are connected with your shortcomings. You do not like your own ears, eyes, nose, mouth, waist, hips and legs, as well as your intellectual abilities and communication skills. Everything always falls out of your hands, and you cannot be trusted with anything responsible. This list can be continued indefinitely, but the result is one - you do not love yourself. How to love yourself? This is a very difficult and very simple question. To begin with, you need to get rid of criticism addressed to you for not loving yourself. After all, how do we live? We not only do not love ourselves - we also scold ourselves for this dislike. This is how a person is made, and it is pointless to fight it - you need to accept this and stop punishing yourself with constant self-accusations and self-flagellation. That's where a large part of your self-loathing comes from. Well, the rest will go away on its own as soon as you start doing something really meaningful, for example, becoming a candidate for master of sports or painting a beautiful still life. It's pointless to do something that no one will see or appreciate, because then it will be unclear what to love yourself for.
Purpose in life
Doing real and useful things helpsto love ourselves. But in order to start doing something, we need to understand what exactly. And this is where many of our fellow citizens have problems. For example, I just go with the flow: I go to work, to the store and home. I live unconsciously and on autopilot. Something important and interesting will help you get out of this vicious circle, something that will make you feel in your place. This could be a hobby - an activity that you will do in your free time. Think about what you have always wanted to do. For now, no need for any criticism or analysis - just remember everything that has ever interested you. Make such a list, choose one or two items from it and start doing them. If thoughts arise in your head about why you should not do this, throw them aside and try. In the end, trying is not torture, and you have nothing to lose and do not make things worse. Even if you fail at something, it’s not scary - you’ll try again or choose another activity. And if you need to invest effort or time later, that’s also okay, because you don’t mind spending it on interesting things (and if you do, then maybe the hobby isn’t worth it). Sometimes melancholy and despondency come into our lives because of bad work. Bad work is when you’re doing something boring and useless, your boss yells at you, and your colleagues shirk their responsibilities. Why do you need all this? Oddly enough, many people live by inertia, remaining captive to all sorts of frameworks like “everyone works, and I work too,” “I can’t find a normal job,” and so on. The very possibility of living happily and the way you want is forgotten. And you look at those who succeed and envy them, considering yourself a loser. All you need to do for this is find a good job. And here you will have to get out of your comfort zone: improve your qualifications, start searching, give up boring certainty, exchanging it for interesting uncertainty. Don't be afraid to invest in it, because an interesting thing in life is really very, very important.
Clear action plan
We have already started to slowly move towards this.moment. Of course, understanding what you want is the first step to finding personal happiness. But having a clear action plan to achieve your goal is another must-have item that will help you develop self-confidence. Drawing it up will require effort, time and a detailed analysis of the situation, but it's worth it. First of all, figure out what actions are needed to start a new business. For example, if you want to learn how to draw, you need to find out information about what art schools are in your city. Then think about what initial investments you will need for this. Many people hold themselves back at this point, saying that they do not have the money, strength, time and ability to do anything. This is your inner fear speaking, the purpose of which is to leave your life (and you) as it is now. But you are no longer satisfied with this option! Remember that the road to happiness begins with getting out of unhappiness. So the most important secret of how to gain self-confidence is it's getting off the couch and starting to do something.
Knowledge
As we wrote above, you need a clearaction plan. And to write it, you need knowledge: about the type of activity you want to do, how to learn it or start doing it, about what clubs, sections and training courses are presented in your city. Without clear and understandable information, it is impossible to even learn some activity, not to mention doing it directly. And if you decide to change your place of work, then improving your qualifications in the form of new knowledge turns out to be simply necessary to find a decent position. And a few words about how to look for information about something. It's great if you have someone in your circle who understands the area you are interested in - then you can always find out important information for you from them. Another important piece of knowledge is knowledge about yourself. Probably, they are even more important than all the others put together. It sounds a little strange, but, unfortunately, many simply do not realize what they really like and are interested in and what they do not. For example, they work somewhere out of habit or because it is necessary, although they have long been irritated by the place and job responsibilities. Or they go snowboarding because it is cool, although in fact they would like to play chess more. Understanding your needs will help you find a job that really suits you, accordingly, you will achieve real success in it and, as a result, gain confidence in yourself and your abilities.
Resources
Naturally, to bring your dreams to lifedesires and interests, you will need resources. Nothing in life comes easy, and sometimes it takes a lot of effort to get the most important and valuable things. For many people, this moment serves as an excuse for doing nothing. But self-confidence does not grow from this, but only falls, because you feel like a slacker and a loser. Accordingly, sooner or later there is a boiling point, after which you understand that you need to change something. The previous steps are taken, and you are faced with the need to invest in what you like. Most often, there is a need for three types of resources: time, energy and money. As for time, you can very often hear that someone does not have it. However, there are no situations of its complete absence - it's just how a person prioritizes. For example, he wants to sleep an extra couple of hours, be in a clean apartment or do someone a favor. He gets his benefit from each of these actions, although he often does not realize it. Therefore, if you really want to do something interesting and important to you, you can always find time for a hobby: honestly and accurately write down where every hour of yours is spent, then discard what is not really important or useful to you - and you will free up time for a new activity. Money - this is another resource that is often required to implement some undertakings. You are faced with the need to pay for courses, buy some equipment or spend money on travel - there can be many reasons for spending money. If you are starting to feel “suffocated”, then remember that there is no such thing as a free lunch. People, just like you, work and want to get paid for their work and things. In addition, spending on a favorite activity motivates you to greater success (and this is what is needed to increase self-confidence). And they pay off with great satisfaction that you receive later. Well, and, finally, efforts. You will actually have to do something: get off the couch, go somewhere, do something, and do it regularly. This is an idea that you need to get used to if you previously did nothing but go to work and lie on the couch in your free time. However, very soon you will get into the right rhythm, get used to doing something constantly, and even start to enjoy your activity.
Support friends
Sometimes you need resources:love, care, support, self-confidence - all these things are necessary in order to do something. This is how a person is made - he is not a biorobot and works on psychic energy, which is taken from things that are pleasant for him. The support of friends and loved ones - this is something that almost no worthy endeavor can do without. To get it, you just need to tell your loved one about your ideas and aspirations. He will calm your anxiety, help you overcome difficult situations and tell you that everything will be fine (and sometimes even give you a magic kick to get you off the couch). It's great if you have more than one such person, but several at once - then the amount of support multiplies two times. But what should those do who have no one to share with? This also happens, for example, if your friends are skeptics and are critical of all new endeavors. Or you can't share with them (although in this case it would be nice to learn how to do it - the support of loved ones in life will be very useful). Or all your friends are very far away, and you have no opportunity to communicate with them (although the Internet and Skype have stopped making this a problem). In any case, what to do if you can only count on yourself? Get support from yourself: calm down, care for and please. Take a hot bath after a hard day, cook a delicious dinner and watch your favorite movie in the evening - all these things will please you, and it will be easier for you to tune in to something. It is believed that if some problem seems huge and significant to you, like an elephant, you need to imagine that you broke it into pieces and “eat” it piece by piece. We tried to do the same in order to help you develop self-confidence. Little by little, step by step, going through all the stages, you will gain useful experience and achievements, turning to which, you will no longer be able to say: “I am a fool and a loser.” On the contrary, self-confidence will become stronger and grow in you. And do not forget to always and everywhere look good, because for a woman, a delightful appearance is more than half the success and well-being! We advise you to read:
