What do women feel after a family breakup?If family life was a complete nightmare, then, of course, relief and even joy. Well, and if the marriage promised to be long and strong, and the breakup occurred on the initiative of the man - sadness, fear and confusion. One way or another, but the breakup of the family always means the emergence of new problems, which it is not always possible to cope with on your own. And the point here is not that the husband used to earn money, but now you have to do it yourself - these days women often earn no less than men. The point is that the already familiar way of life is changing dramatically, and you still need to adapt to these changes. Next, we will talk about how a woman can survive a divorce and how to behave in such a situation in order to avoid an oppressive and stressful state.
What does the woman feel after the divorce?
One of the most difficult moments in life,a woman left without a husband - restoring trust in the male sex. No matter who initiated the divorce, such trust is often undermined. And this happens reflexively. The woman simply begins to look at the stronger sex through the prism of the suffering she has endured and sees almost every man as the source of her troubles. It is this position that prevents her from getting closer to other men, even if they are clearly better than her ex-husband. Of course, it also happens that a woman immediately begins to look for a new candidate for life partners and quickly remarries. However, such hasty marriages are far from always successful. After all, they are most often based not on a thoughtful decision, but on the desire to get away from the emotional and material problems that arose after the divorce. Such a step can be understood. Be that as it may, but most divorced women immediately after the breakup of the family lose their usual life guidelines. The period of adaptation to new living conditions can be very frightening. Therefore, a divorcee agrees to quickly create a new family with whoever is at hand. It must be said that this is a rather risky act. It is good if the current groom is a man the woman has known for a long time. Then she is most likely aware of his basic character traits. But it also happens that a husband candidate has recently appeared in the woman's social circle. In this case, it is hardly worth forcing events without getting to know him better. Otherwise, you can again fall into the trap of an unsuccessful marriage and finally lose faith in the likelihood of personal happiness. Firstly, because men at the beginning of their acquaintance try to present themselves from the best side. And secondly, because the woman herself, under the influence of stress, is not able to soberly assess the pros and cons of the bachelors nearby.
How to survive a divorce with the least loss
No matter how family relationships are built, weWe adapt to it psychologically. And then, when everything stops, we find ourselves in a vacuum. We don’t know who we can trust now, who is to blame for what happened, how to act correctly and what to do next. What lies ahead? Sleepless nights of loneliness? The prospect of lack of money? Condemnation of loved ones or their participation? Scary? Of course. But we must try to accept the fact that the marriage is no longer there. Otherwise, you will never take any steps towards your own happiness. We must try to think over what happened and find a rational grain in it. An unloved husband left? How wonderful! Why waste your life on someone who is not dear to your heart? A loved one left? It means he was not worth your love. Let him be free. And your happiness is yet to come. And to hell with age. Even after 40, a self-sufficient woman can find love and start a family, there are many examples of this. Therefore, it is necessary to agree that the former marriage is no longer essential. Well, it didn’t work out… Anything can happen in life! And now we must leave the past, try to live in the present and build the future. It is completely different from what it was before. What needs to be done for this?
- Allow your emotions to splash out
None of us have to be strong and none of us shouldhide your feelings from others. A breakup with a man cannot pass without leaving a trace. In this case, it is completely natural to feel resentment, anger, sadness, even hatred. Divorce is a life crisis, and it can and should be accompanied by an emotional reaction: tears, screaming, indignation. Otherwise, there will be no psychological release. Of course, you should try to ensure that your pain affects your family and friends as little as possible. It is not easy for them as it is. A great technique in this case is to be alone, imagine your ex-husband sitting on a chair and tell him what is on your mind and what you think of him. This brings relief and allows you to cope with the storm of emotions;
- Find yourself an occupation that will allow you to forget for a short time about what happened
It could be sports, dancing, knitting, sewing,drawing - anything that distracts and brings at least some pleasure. Caring for an animal - a dog, a cat, a bird, even fish - helps you forget. The main thing in such a state is not to dull the pain with alcohol or pills. Such a technique can be fatal;
- To meet more often with those who are ready to listen and understand
Excellent psychotherapy in this case is communicationwith women who have also gone through a divorce. The best psychologist would be a friend to whom you can tell everything. Even if she reproaches or condemns you for something. The most important thing for you now is conversation. And an argument will help restore your mental balance. Otherwise, the panic that arises from the inability to speak out will destroy your psyche;
- If there are a number of children, get away with their problems
At least for a while. They are an umbrella from bad weather.Children also have a hard time, but they will survive the breakup of the family faster - childhood has no unsolvable problems. It has dreams. Although there are sons and daughters for whom the loss of a father is equivalent to the destruction of the world. In this case, it is even more necessary to pay attention to their condition and forget about yourself and your pain at least for a while;
- Remember that a woman - it sounds proud
And pay attention to your own appearance.Does it hurt? So be it! Get a nice haircut, tidy up your hands, buy a stylish handbag and suit! And practice a smooth gait. You need to look so that HE will gasp. And not become a lost, fallen person with a dull look. Let him think that you live better without HIM;
- Flirt with all men
Especially with single ones.Whether they like it or not is irrelevant. Now you are free and can do whatever you want. There are plenty of examples of how a previously unattractive lady blossomed just because she started flirting.
- Buying flowers for yourself
No money? Then buy the cheapest ones. And every day! And imagine that these daisies, buttercups, and even dandelions were given to you by some passerby;
- Acquiring cosmetics
It doesn't have to be expensive. And it doesn't even have to be one that you can use every day. Let it sit on a shelf and make you happy with its presence;
- To think not about what happened, but about how wonderful the future can be.
After all, now you are free! And that means you have the right to build your life regardless of the wishes of the man who was once next to you;
- Do not bury yourself, believing that the main thing is children
Yes, they mean a lot.But after they grow up, they will start their own life. It must be said that if the mother is unhappy, it is also very difficult for her children to become happy. Therefore, do not forget about yourself. There are many worthy and free men in the world. Yes, even just meeting and walking with one of them is a great pleasure! Many women after a divorce believe that now they need to devote themselves entirely to the child. No, this is partly true. As we have already said, a daughter or son can be very upset by the breakup of the family. But this should not become a life goal! Those who plunge headlong into problems and forget about a smile will not have happy offspring;
- It is advisable to collect some money and go at least for a week to rest
Let it not be to another country, but to a neighboring city.A change of scenery has a beneficial effect on the awareness of one's place in society. It is advisable to visit places where you have never been before and where there is something to see. This will allow you to distract yourself from thoughts about the past;
- With all his might try to replace at least part of the wardrobe
New things bring new success to the house. If the financial situation does not allow, you can simply remake old things;
- Do not in any way analyze again and again the causes of the dissolution of marriage
So you will constantly feel sorry foryourself, reproach yourself for what never happened. Firstly, it will not allow emotions to take on a more positive quality. And secondly, it will not allow you to create a new, more successful model of life, having previously tuned your psyche to it. Of course, you should not eradicate all memories of what was. And it will not work. You just need to remember something good. And drive away bad thoughts, without much ceremony. Yes, they are intrusive. But if you take control of heavy thoughts and constantly rebuff them, sooner or later they will retreat. Divorce is not the end of life, but its renewal. Life always offers a lot of options for happiness. Should you close yourself off and waste precious days on meaningless regrets about what will never return? Any bad weather ends someday, and fine sunny days come to replace it. We recommend reading:
