What do women feel after the collapse of the family? If family life was a nightmare, then, of course, relief and even joy. Well, if the marriage promised to be long and strong, and the gap occurred on the initiative of a man - sadness, fear and confusion. One way or another, but the breakdown of the family is always the appearance of new problems that can not always be handled on their own. And it's not that the husband used to make money, but now he will have to, - nowadays women often earn no less than men. The fact is that the already habitual way of life is fundamentally changing, and this must be adapted to changes. Next, we'll talk about how to survive a divorce to a woman and how to behave in such a situation to avoid oppressive and stressful conditions.
What does the woman feel after the divorce?
One of the most difficult moments in life,left without a woman's husband - the restoration of confidence in the male sex. On whose initiative there was no divorce, such confidence is often undermined. And this is a reflex. Just a woman begins to look at the strong sex through the prism of suffering and see almost every man the source of his troubles. It is this position that prevents her from converging with other men, even if they are clearly better than her ex-husband. Of course, it also happens that a woman immediately begins to look for a new candidate for life companions and quickly remarries quite quickly. However, such hasty marriages are not always successful. After all, they are based most often not on a deliberate decision, but on the desire to get away from the emotional and material problems that arose after the divorce. You can understand this step. Whatever it was, but most of the divorced women immediately after the collapse of the family lose their usual life guidance. The period of adaptation to new conditions of existence can greatly frighten. Therefore, and agrees to the divorce for the rapid creation of a new family with someone who is at hand. I must say that this is a rather risky act. It's good if the current groom is a man with whom a woman has known for a long time. Then, most likely, she knows the basic qualities of his character. But it also happens that the candidate for husbands arose in the circle of women recently. In this case, it is hardly necessary to force events without knowing it better. Otherwise, you can again fall into the trap of a failed marriage and finally lose faith in the probability of personal happiness. Firstly, because men in the first days of acquaintance try to submit themselves from the best side. And secondly, because the woman herself under the influence of stress is not able to soberly assess the pros and cons of bachelors around.
How to survive a divorce with the least loss
No matter how the family relations were built, we to thempsychologically adapt. And then, when everything stops, we find ourselves in a vacuum. We do not know who can be trusted now, who is to blame for what happened, how to act properly and what to do next. What lies ahead? Sleepless nights of solitude? The prospect of lack of money? Condemnation of close people or their participation? Fearfully? Certainly. But we must try to accept the fact that there is no more marriage. Otherwise, you will not make any steps to your own happiness. We must try to think about what happened and find a rational grain in it. Left an unloved husband? So great! Why waste your life on someone who is not dear to the heart? Left favorite? So it was not worth your love. Let it be free. And your happiness is yet to come. And spit on age. And after 40 years, a self-sufficient woman can find love and create a family, there are many examples. Therefore, we must agree that the former marriage is no longer essential. Well, it did not work out ... Anything in life happens! And now we must leave the past, try to live the present and build the future. Done not as it was before. What do you need to do for this?
- Allow your emotions to splash out
None of us has to be strong and should nothide from others your feelings. A break with a man can not pass without a trace. Quite naturally in this case, resentment, anger, sadness, even hatred. Divorce is a life crisis, and it can and should be accompanied by an emotional reaction: tears, screaming, indignation. Otherwise, psychological detente will not work. Of course, we must try to make your pain reflect as little as possible on relatives and friends. It's not easy for them. A wonderful reception in this case - to stay alone, imagine the former husband sitting in a chair and tell him about what's on your mind and about what you think about him. This brings relief and allows you to cope with the storm of emotions;
- Find yourself an occupation that will allow you to forget for a short time about what happened
It can be sports, dancing, knitting, sewing,drawing - anything, if only it distracted and delivered at least some pleasure. It helps to forget the care of some animal - a dog, a cat, a bird, even a fish. The main thing in this state is not to stifle pain with alcohol or pills. This technique can become fatal;
- To meet more often with those who are ready to listen and understand
Excellent psychotherapy in this case - communication withwomen, once also survived the divorce. The best psychologist is a friend who can tell everything. Let it even reproach or condemn something. For you, the main thing is conversation. A dispute will help restore the soul balance. Otherwise, the panic that arises from the impossibility of speaking out will destroy the psyche;
- If there are a number of children, get away with their problems
At least for a while. They are an umbrella from bad weather. Children are also unwell, but they will survive the collapse of the family faster - childhood has no insoluble problems. He has dreams. Although there are sons and daughters, for whom the loss of a father is tantamount to destroying the world. In this case, the more you need to pay attention to their condition and at least temporarily forget about yourself and your pain;
- Remember that a woman - it sounds proud
And pay attention to your own appearance. Painfully? Well, let! Make a beautiful haircut, put your hands in order, buy a stylish handbag and a suit! And work out a smooth gait. It is necessary to look so that HE gasped. And do not become a lost, descended person with an extinct look. Let him think that you live better without him;
- Flirt with all men
Especially with bachelors. Like them, do not like it - it does not matter. Now you are free, and you can do whatever you want. There are a lot of examples, when the unsightly lady has bloomed only because she started flirting.
- Buying flowers for yourself
No money? So get the cheapest. And every day! And at the same time, imagine that these chamomiles, buttercups, and even dandelions have been given to you by some passer-by;
- Acquiring cosmetics
Not necessarily expensive. And not even necessarily one that you can use every day. Let her stand on the shelf and enjoy her presence;
- To think not about what happened, but about how wonderful the future can be.
After all, now you are free! So, you have the right to build your life, regardless of the desire of a man who was once near;
- Do not bury yourself, believing that the main thing is children
Yes, they mean a lot. But after they grow up, they will start their own lives. I must say that if the mother is unhappy, it is also very difficult for the children to become happy. So do not forget about yourself. There are many worthy and free men in the world. Yes, even just to meet and take a walk with one of them - no small pleasure! Many women after the divorce believe that now you need to devote yourself to the child. No, it's partly true. As we have already said, a daughter or a son can greatly experience the disintegration of the family. But it should not become a life goal! There will be no happy offspring for those who plunge headlong into problems and forget about the smile;
- It is advisable to collect some money and go at least for a week to rest
Let not in another country - in a neighboring city. The change of the situation has a beneficial effect on the awareness of your place in society. It is advisable to visit places where you have never been and where to have something to look at. This will distract from the thoughts of the past;
- With all his might try to replace at least part of the wardrobe
New things bring a new success to the house. If the financial situation does not allow, you can just re-do the old things;
- Do not in any way analyze again and again the causes of the dissolution of marriage
So you will constantly feel pity foryourself, reproach yourself for what has not happened once. First, it will not allow emotions to take a more positive quality. And secondly, it will not allow us to create a new, more successful model of life, having pre-adjusted the psyche to it. Of course, it is not worth eradicating all the memories of what happened. And it will not work. Just remember something is needed about something good. Throwing thin thoughts, especially not ceremony. Yes, they are intrusive. But if the heavy thoughts come under control and constantly give them a rebuff, sooner or later they will retreat. Divorce is not the end of life, but its renewal. Life always offers a lot of options for happiness. Do I need to shut myself in and spend precious days on meaningless regrets that I will not return? Any bad weather ends someday, and it's replaced by nice sunny days. We advise you to read: