How strangely women are constructed.It seems like we got divorced a hundred years ago, you were the ones who initiated the breakup, you had successfully arranged your personal life, and then - bam... My husband's new wife. And everything that was hidden in the woman's soul behind seven locks flares up with new force.

The relationship "ex-wife is a real wife"

She peers inquisitively into the face of her ex's new flame, trying to find something (for example, flaws). She examines her figure, her clothes. She analyzes the ex-husband's relationship with his new wife:

• Well, you must! He opens the car door to her. I almost threw it out on the move. He also shouted: "Come on quickly and do not slam the door very much."
• No, well, did you see? This stole a new gold finger ring. And I was melted off from the grandmother's ring. Serega believed that all these "pieces of iron" on the fingers are women's quirks.
• Look, THESE went to the Emirates. We did not carry us farther than the Crimea.

Probably, in the soul of every woman there is a glimmer ofhope that the ex-husband will continue to suffer from unrequited love for her, and if he ever marries, his new wife will be more frightening than a nuclear war. How can you stop being jealous? Learn to perceive your ex-husband's new wife as a simple interlocutor, not as a rival? The answer is simple: take pity on her. Remember all the shortcomings of your ex-husband:

• he often forgot to brush his teeth;
• switched the TV on the most interesting place;
• I forgot about birthdays and other dates;
• considered flowers a useless gift, and beer - the best drink;

I'm sure there will be a lot of such points.Write them down on paper and see what kind of monster this poor thing has to live with. You've already escaped from it, but she's got many years of suffering ahead of her. Well, how did it work? Then let's continue the treatment.

"Stepmother" relations

Very often after a divorce people are left without workchildren. They had just gotten used to the fact that their dad, who had lived with them all the time, now came over on weekends and talked to their mom in a dry, businesslike tone, when a strange woman showed up. And for some reason, this woman tenderly held her father's arm and even kissed him sometimes. A storm of emotions was brewing in the child's soul. How could this be? His dad with a strange aunt? And his mom? This reaction was most acute in families where the ex-wife had not yet managed to arrange her personal life at the time of her husband's remarriage. Add to this the negative feelings of the ex-wife, which the child simply cannot help but feel. And that's it. The child began to quietly hate his father's new wife. What should you do? Should you allow the child to communicate with your husband's new wife if you feel that this communication is not good for the child? Talk to your ex-husband. Ask him not to take his wife with him to meetings with the child. Let him not bring the child to his home. A meeting at an entertainment center or a zoo will be much more useful than a child’s communication with the “new mother” at home. Does your ex-husband not share your concerns? Try going to a meeting with your child. The baby will feel your support. And most importantly, he will see that you are communicating peacefully with each other. Well, you won’t grab her hair, right? By the way, we can reassure you: the new wife’s ardent desire to meet your child and please him will pass very soon. At the very beginning of a relationship, every woman wants to show off her best sides. And friendship with a child from a first marriage is a serious bid for the title of “Miss Wisdom”. When the position in the heart of the chosen one is achieved, and the woman is convinced that she has taken exactly the place in him that she planned, the enthusiasm will subside.

Relations "alimentary"

Unfortunately, by this time the new wife will have sobered up so much that she will start counting every penny that goes past the family budget. And even if it is legal alimony, it will seem to her that:

• smart mother spends everything on herself;
• the former wife has successfully married, so let the new husband provide the child, and it is impossible to live by it either;
• something he pays them too much. With this money, you can feed an entire African republic.

Money issues become especially acute in thosefamilies where the ex-wife did not officially apply for alimony, and the husband brought the money voluntarily. As a rule, this amount was several times higher than our standard alimony, which is not enough to feed a child, nor even provide for a small kitten, who does not need clothes and tuition. And here the question arises: "Should a new wife help her husband's child?" Moreover, the help consists only in allowing the new spouse to allocate the necessary amount from the budget. Practice shows that she should not. Moreover, the once caring husband is also left out, who for some reason stops giving money for the child, citing purely feminine excuses. (I wonder who taught him this?) What to do? Go to court. And file for legal alimony. Since "good" you will never see the money again. Moreover, hurry to file the documents before a child is born in the ex's family. Not only can he forget that he has other children somewhere, but he can also reduce the amount of already small alimony, citing the fact that he has more than one child.

Relations "a good new wife of her ex-husband"

However, it happens that the ex-husband turns out to beis quite firm. And the new passion cannot influence the amount of alimony and the number of meetings with the child. If the girl is stupid, then soon she will also be relegated to the category of exes. And if she is smart, then the game “look how good I am” will begin. This is the most painful development of relations for ex-wives. Watching the new wife break into a sweet smile - not everyone can stand it. And if the child also takes a liking to the “good aunt” - write “lost”. Now the woman will begin to be jealous not only of her ex-husband (which is meaningless in itself), but also of her son or daughter. Here it is very important for the ex-wife to understand that for children there was and is no one dearer than their mother. And no matter how wonderful the new passion is, she will never take her place in the child’s heart. Of course, it is very difficult to think and react when you are choked by blind jealousy, and you are ready to cling to the carefully styled hair of a starched darling. Therefore, if you feel that you cannot control yourself, minimize communication with your ex's new wife. And when the child comes home from his father, do not ask him about the details of the day. Do not torment yourself. Time will pass and everything will fall into place. Look, and the ex-husband will bring another passion to meet. And you already have so much experience! We advise you to read:

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