Everything happens in our lives, and not always our daysare unclouded. Suppose you have a quarrel with your husband (or with a young man whom you already saw in your dreams as such). And now your man is silent, withdrew into himself, and does not want to communicate with you at all. In the overwhelming majority of us, women, we immediately press the big red button with the inscription "panic": guard! Our man no longer loves us! Let's not panic right away, but rather try to figure out why this happens to our guys. First of all, it is worth remembering that we are very different. We think, and therefore we do not act in the same way. Remembering this, we will be able to understand the features of communication between guys and us, beautiful ladies. Let's start with the most unpleasant: if a man has stopped loving us, how can we find out about this?

10 signs that a man stopped loving

If you notice in the behavior of a man several of the signs listed below, you will have to admit that he no longer loves you, whether you like it or not:

He stopped calling you sweet nicknames (a rabbit, a puppet, a baby, etc.), which he thought up at the very beginning of your relationship.

A man stands aside when you try to beaffectionate with him, especially if you do it in public. For example, he liked earlier, when on a bus ride you stroked his hand, and now he takes it away and puts it in his pocket.

He began to say things that obviously can beoffensive or unpleasant for you. For example, a man suddenly tells you that you are very fat due to gain in weight and you need to lose weight. A loving person will never say this, even if he believes that it is really worth trying to lose weight. He does not want to hurt you!

A man begins to flirt and actively communicate withother girls right in your presence, and when you complain that you do not like it, he says that he will not mind if you also communicate with other guys.

Your boyfriend does not tell you how his day went. In general, he no longer wants to communicate with you as much as you communicated before.

More and more often his weekend man spends with friends, and he never invites you to his company.

He suddenly begins to call you another female name, and yet he does not apologize at the same time. Most likely, this is the name of the woman who now occupies his thoughts.

A man comes home very late, and at the same time does not want to explain where and why he stayed so long.

He is very angry if you start blaminghis, that he has changed a lot and no longer wants to communicate with you, as before. The man does not want to explain anything, takes a defensive position and even starts yelling at you.

He does not understand why you complain that his behavior toward you has changed, and does not try to correct his mistakes.

If your man began to admit suchactions, it is very likely that he really stopped loving you. And if this is so, then do not try to make it become the same - you will not succeed. Most likely, your relationship has lost value for him, and he decided to move on. What to do in this case? Release him, because you can not force love. Free in your heart a place for another person who will be happy to make you happy.

What not to do if a man has become self-absorbed

Not always a man starts to avoidjust because I fell out of love. As a rule, the resulting isolation is explained by the fact that guys do not react to any problems in a way that is typical for us, because their psychology and perception of the surrounding reality differ significantly from our psychology and our perception of the world. And if at the time when a man ponders the problem and nurtures her decision, to behave incorrectly, then this can really deal a serious blow to your relationship. How should we act in this situation? Do not pressure him. When faced with some problem, a man must immediately solve it. This algorithm has evolved over thousands of years, and only this pattern of behavior has allowed men to survive in old times and help survive their kindred. Modern guys have kept this pattern of behavior, it is embedded in them at the level of genetic memory. There is a problem - you need to disconnect from everything that distracts from thinking about ways to solve this problem. We women often do not notice that we create such problems for our men literally one after another. We can just casually notice, for example, that we saw pretty boots in the store, and we, incidentally, will not have anything to wear in winter, because the boots bought last season do not fit well with the fur coat. By the way, about the fur coat - it has long been out of fashion! And so on. We are able to wind a whole bunch of problems, but just wanted to talk about your favorite shoes. But the man quite differently perceives what we said. He understands that he is facing the task - his wife or girlfriend is not well-dressed, and this, by the way, reproaches him as a getter. He immediately starts scrolling in his head all possible solutions to this problem. Analyze the wardrobe favorite, consider whether there are more important upcoming spending, estimate what income is expected and whether it is possible to earn something somewhere. If it is good enough for you and clothes, in particular, you buy quite often, then it can even be offended - it turns out, no matter how hard you try, but you still reproach him for not providing you with good. But we just talked about those boots, as they say about the picture from the museum - he does not think that we want him to buy us that picture ?! So, pouring a heap of problems on a guy, we literally force him into a corner. Any man tries to act immediately, solving the task assigned to him, and if the problem is really serious, then he needs time to think about it. And he locked himself in his psychological "cave", not wanting to share his thoughts with anyone. The guy understands: if he can not find a solution on his own, then he is not a man, but a sly. He can ask about our opinion about the decision he has already made, but only to make sure he is right and receive from you some additional advice. Therefore, one should never press on a man, demanding from him immediate answers to his questions. It must be remembered that each problem is tested for the strength of his male self-esteem. If you do not take this into account, you can achieve that the young man will leave you and go to the one that does not make him doubt his own consistency. Do not encroach on his personal space. Yes, it drives many women mad! We want to be there every minute, to see what he does, to know what his thoughts are about. But men also need a personal space, as we need it. After all, do we have any secrets in which we do not dedicate our dear? Of course, we immediately think about the worst, if a man silently passed by, if he wants to spend time without us, if he is angry with us and the like. But do not panic! Just remember: this is a man, he is made entirely from another test. When we talk with our friends, we can spend hours telling how we are upset. The man is different. If he is upset, he will not talk about it out loud. When men communicate, their goal is just to have a good time. They will not talk about problems, because they want to give themselves a break from them. And also because they want to look like real men, not snotty boys who do not know how to solve difficult problems on their own. Therefore, they, our guys, from time to time begin to avoid contact with us - because only in the male they can give themselves psychological relief. If you understand this and if you do not harass a man when he wants to retire in another room or just sit around in front of the TV, meet friends or go fishing - in short, if you do not constantly impose your communication on him, he will appreciate you in weight of gold, because these women are very few!

How to communicate effectively with men

To a man willingly went to communicate with you, you needspeak with him in one language. Imagine that you have come to Paris, for example, and are looking for a way to your hotel. And you know French in the amount of a phrase book in your hand, and you can even help yourself with gestures. Do you agree that you have very little chance of getting to your hotel, not to the other end of Paris? And then you and the road to Cannes will be pointed out! Now, if you were speaking in good French, then the way would be found with the help of Parisians literally in the blink of an eye. The presence of a common language is of great importance in human relations, when men and women struggle to understand each other. We women are much easier to adapt to different circumstances, so learn to speak the language of a man we are much easier. How can we make sure that a man does not want to avoid contacting us? What are the rules of communication with the guys to be observed?

Always remember what a man wants to seeimmediate result of their actions. The biggest mistake of women is that they think that guys also like to speculate about their problems and experiences, as they like to do to us. While a woman can enjoy long and detailed tales of difficulties, a man prefers that the substance of the matter be spelled out accurately and concisely.

Find the right time to talk andto communicate. Guys are very unreceptive to any communication attempts when they are not in the mood. If a man watches TV, reads, works or is busy somehow else, ask him if he can talk to you right now. You are much more likely to be heard and get your share of attention if he sees that you are ready to compromise and postpone the conversation at a more convenient time. Psychologists say that the man most willingly goes to talk when you do something together. It does not matter whether you are doing something serious or just relaxing, for example, playing checkers or jogging. Men find it more enjoyable to communicate, which is part of the overall activity.

Show the man that you are interested incommunicating with him as soon as you got his attention. Men really like it when a woman maintains eye contact with them and speaks in a calm, pleasant tone. If you are telling something to your boyfriend, do not forget to be interested in his opinion: "Do you agree?" Or "What do you think?" Ask questions that you really do not know the answers to. Women like to re-learn the information already known to them, but men will never do it.

Listen carefully when a man speaks withyou. Do not interrupt, let him speak, even if you do not agree with him. He will treat your point of view with great respect if you give him a full outline and justify his own position. In addition, only after listening to the guy to the end, you can be sure that you understood it correctly.

How to teach a man to listen to you

Maybe it's that the man thinks that hecommunicates with us is quite enough, while it will seem to us that he does not notice and does not hear us at all. All the same notorious difference in our psychology! Instead of starting to nag your boyfriend or resorting to some dramatic gestures, it's better to just teach him to listen. There are several wonderful ways to do this. Consider what and how to say

• Never resort to whining. Most men automatically turn their attention off as soon as they hear the woman's whiny voice. What tone of your voice attracts your boyfriend's attention most of all? That's the tone and talk to him always!
• Do not talk too loudly and aggressively. Do not resort to verbal attacks to attract the attention of men, they really do not like it.
• Do not go around the bush. By the time you get to the point, he will no longer listen to your words.

Listen to a man when he talks to you InIn some cases, we are to blame for not being listened to. If we never listen to what the man says, he can reasonably think, they say, why should I listen to her?

• Do you pay attention to him when he wants to talk to you? Do you stop at the same time washing dishes, reading a book, watching TV to listen carefully to the guy?
• You want to talk only about somecertain topics? Does it not happen that he is very excited, for example, an accident at his job or a successfully found solution when repairing a car, but you are bored listening and you interrupt him? Your man will perceive such an attitude as a lack of interest in himself, and he will begin to avoid contact with you.

Choose the right time to solve problemsWhen you talk about a problem, never go to a person. If it seems to you that your boyfriend does not listen to you, do not tell him: "You never listen to me," say better: "I think you do not listen to me, and I would like to discuss this."

• Talk about your feelings in a quiet, cozy atmosphere. You do not want him to feel threatened and prepare for a deaf defense?
• Start a conversation with the fact that you really love and appreciate it. Explain that you feel that you can not effectively share with him your feelings and thoughts.
• Ask him to express his suggestions, how you could improve the quality of your communication. Find a common solution that will help strengthen your partnership.

Last advice

Men are not so difficult to communicate as we arewe do in our ideas about this. If they want to communicate with us - they will do it. If they do not want to, then they have a reason for this, and we can not influence it in any way and we can not make them act as we would like. Give the guy to stay in his personal space. If this state of affairs drags on, then it's better not to go around the bush, but directly ask him if everything is in order in his attitude towards you. If he answers "yes", then just leave him alone. If he says "no", then do not make scandals and hysterics - it does not help. Only finally destroy all chances for change for the better. And if he says "I do not know," then ask him what the problem is, what embarrasses him. Be direct, but not too assertive, speak calmly. If he again says that he does not know what is the reason for his mood, then just ask him to let you know when it will be possible to talk about it. And give him the opportunity to be alone with himself as much as he needs. Believe me, a man will properly appreciate your attitude if you give him the opportunity to think calmly before deciding and moving forward in building your relationship. We advise you to read:

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