Everything happens in our lives, and not always our daysare unclouded. Suppose you have a quarrel with your husband (or with a young man whom you already saw in your dreams as such). And now your man is silent, withdrew into himself, and does not want to communicate with you at all. In the overwhelming majority of us, women, we immediately press the big red button with the inscription "panic": guard! Our man no longer loves us! Let's not panic right away, but rather try to figure out why this happens to our guys. First of all, it is worth remembering that we are very different. We think, and therefore we do not act in the same way. Remembering this, we will be able to understand the features of communication between guys and us, beautiful ladies. Let's start with the most unpleasant: if a man has stopped loving us, how can we find out about this?
10 signs that a man stopped loving
If you notice in the behavior of a man several of the signs listed below, you will have to admit that he no longer loves you, whether you like it or not:
If your man began to admit suchactions, it is very likely that he really stopped loving you. And if this is so, then do not try to make it become the same - you will not succeed. Most likely, your relationship has lost value for him, and he decided to move on. What to do in this case? Release him, because you can not force love. Free in your heart a place for another person who will be happy to make you happy.
What not to do if a man has become self-absorbed
Not always a man starts to avoidjust because I fell out of love. As a rule, the resulting isolation is explained by the fact that guys do not react to any problems in a way that is typical for us, because their psychology and perception of the surrounding reality differ significantly from our psychology and our perception of the world. And if at the time when a man ponders the problem and nurtures her decision, to behave incorrectly, then this can really deal a serious blow to your relationship. How should we act in this situation? Do not pressure him. When faced with some problem, a man must immediately solve it. This algorithm has evolved over thousands of years, and only this pattern of behavior has allowed men to survive in old times and help survive their kindred. Modern guys have kept this pattern of behavior, it is embedded in them at the level of genetic memory. There is a problem - you need to disconnect from everything that distracts from thinking about ways to solve this problem. We women often do not notice that we create such problems for our men literally one after another. We can just casually notice, for example, that we saw pretty boots in the store, and we, incidentally, will not have anything to wear in winter, because the boots bought last season do not fit well with the fur coat. By the way, about the fur coat - it has long been out of fashion! And so on. We are able to wind a whole bunch of problems, but just wanted to talk about your favorite shoes. But the man quite differently perceives what we said. He understands that he is facing the task - his wife or girlfriend is not well-dressed, and this, by the way, reproaches him as a getter. He immediately starts scrolling in his head all possible solutions to this problem. Analyze the wardrobe favorite, consider whether there are more important upcoming spending, estimate what income is expected and whether it is possible to earn something somewhere. If it is good enough for you and clothes, in particular, you buy quite often, then it can even be offended - it turns out, no matter how hard you try, but you still reproach him for not providing you with good. But we just talked about those boots, as they say about the picture from the museum - he does not think that we want him to buy us that picture ?! So, pouring a heap of problems on a guy, we literally force him into a corner. Any man tries to act immediately, solving the task assigned to him, and if the problem is really serious, then he needs time to think about it. And he locked himself in his psychological "cave", not wanting to share his thoughts with anyone. The guy understands: if he can not find a solution on his own, then he is not a man, but a sly. He can ask about our opinion about the decision he has already made, but only to make sure he is right and receive from you some additional advice. Therefore, one should never press on a man, demanding from him immediate answers to his questions. It must be remembered that each problem is tested for the strength of his male self-esteem. If you do not take this into account, you can achieve that the young man will leave you and go to the one that does not make him doubt his own consistency. Do not encroach on his personal space. Yes, it drives many women mad! We want to be there every minute, to see what he does, to know what his thoughts are about. But men also need a personal space, as we need it. After all, do we have any secrets in which we do not dedicate our dear? Of course, we immediately think about the worst, if a man silently passed by, if he wants to spend time without us, if he is angry with us and the like. But do not panic! Just remember: this is a man, he is made entirely from another test. When we talk with our friends, we can spend hours telling how we are upset. The man is different. If he is upset, he will not talk about it out loud. When men communicate, their goal is just to have a good time. They will not talk about problems, because they want to give themselves a break from them. And also because they want to look like real men, not snotty boys who do not know how to solve difficult problems on their own. Therefore, they, our guys, from time to time begin to avoid contact with us - because only in the male they can give themselves psychological relief. If you understand this and if you do not harass a man when he wants to retire in another room or just sit around in front of the TV, meet friends or go fishing - in short, if you do not constantly impose your communication on him, he will appreciate you in weight of gold, because these women are very few!
How to communicate effectively with men
To a man willingly went to communicate with you, you needspeak with him in one language. Imagine that you have come to Paris, for example, and are looking for a way to your hotel. And you know French in the amount of a phrase book in your hand, and you can even help yourself with gestures. Do you agree that you have very little chance of getting to your hotel, not to the other end of Paris? And then you and the road to Cannes will be pointed out! Now, if you were speaking in good French, then the way would be found with the help of Parisians literally in the blink of an eye. The presence of a common language is of great importance in human relations, when men and women struggle to understand each other. We women are much easier to adapt to different circumstances, so learn to speak the language of a man we are much easier. How can we make sure that a man does not want to avoid contacting us? What are the rules of communication with the guys to be observed?
How to teach a man to listen to you
Maybe it's that the man thinks that hecommunicates with us is quite enough, while it will seem to us that he does not notice and does not hear us at all. All the same notorious difference in our psychology! Instead of starting to nag your boyfriend or resorting to some dramatic gestures, it's better to just teach him to listen. There are several wonderful ways to do this. Consider what and how to say
- Never resort to whining. Most men automatically turn their attention off as soon as they hear the woman's whiny voice. What tone of your voice attracts your boyfriend's attention most of all? That's the tone and talk to him always!
- Do not talk too loudly and aggressively. Do not resort to verbal attacks to attract the attention of men, they really do not like it.
- Do not go around the bush. By the time you get to the point, he will no longer listen to your words.
Listen to a man when he talks to you InIn some cases, we are to blame for not being listened to. If we never listen to what the man says, he can reasonably think, they say, why should I listen to her?
- Do you pay attention to him when he wants to talk to you? Do you stop at the same time washing dishes, reading a book, watching TV to listen carefully to the guy?
- You want to talk only about somecertain topics? Does it not happen that he is very excited, for example, an accident at his job or a successfully found solution when repairing a car, but you are bored listening and you interrupt him? Your man will perceive such an attitude as a lack of interest in himself, and he will begin to avoid contact with you.
Choose the right time to solve problemsWhen you talk about a problem, never go to a person. If it seems to you that your boyfriend does not listen to you, do not tell him: "You never listen to me," say better: "I think you do not listen to me, and I would like to discuss this."
- Talk about your feelings in a quiet, cozy atmosphere. You do not want him to feel threatened and prepare for a deaf defense?
- Start a conversation with the fact that you really love and appreciate it. Explain that you feel that you can not effectively share with him your feelings and thoughts.
- Ask him to express his suggestions, how you could improve the quality of your communication. Find a common solution that will help strengthen your partnership.
Men are not so difficult to communicate as we arewe do in our ideas about this. If they want to communicate with us - they will do it. If they do not want to, then they have a reason for this, and we can not influence it in any way and we can not make them act as we would like. Give the guy to stay in his personal space. If this state of affairs drags on, then it's better not to go around the bush, but directly ask him if everything is in order in his attitude towards you. If he answers "yes", then just leave him alone. If he says "no", then do not make scandals and hysterics - it does not help. Only finally destroy all chances for change for the better. And if he says "I do not know," then ask him what the problem is, what embarrasses him. Be direct, but not too assertive, speak calmly. If he again says that he does not know what is the reason for his mood, then just ask him to let you know when it will be possible to talk about it. And give him the opportunity to be alone with himself as much as he needs. Believe me, a man will properly appreciate your attitude if you give him the opportunity to think calmly before deciding and moving forward in building your relationship. We advise you to read: