There is hardly a person in the world who, althoughwould not have experienced a fit of jealousy at least once in his life, even if only for a short time. This negatively colored, destructive, extremely painful and unhealthy feeling that arises when it seems that the closest person is not attentive enough to you, is familiar to a greater or lesser extent to almost everyone. Often jealousy takes on perverted, crazy forms, when a person imagines and fantasizes where, when, with whom and how his other half is cheating on him. The partner of the jealous person against his will becomes involved in these "games" of a sick mind, and he has to, defending himself, justify himself for what he did not actually do. Such endlessly repeating situations do not contribute to strengthening relationships, so the question of how to get rid of jealousy is relevant at all times.

Jealousy is a feeling that destroys the human psyche

You can be jealous of anyone, anything and inany age. A baby is jealous of his parents towards his younger brother or sister, a teenage girl is jealous of her best friend towards her classmates, but childhood jealousy is a completely normal phenomenon that disappears when receiving attention from parents or friends and finally disappears with age. No adequate adult will forbid a mother to communicate with a neighbor or a friend with colleagues, but a jealous person in love never has enough attention. Each time he demands more and more of it in unlimited quantities. Adult jealousy is caused by a state of complete integration into another person, when the slightest switch to another object causes a violent protest and hurt pride. Therefore, it is safe to say that the roots of jealousy lie in pride. Such a chronic tendency to jealousy is called jealousy and is compared to an illness. A chronic jealous person is not happy with himself, but he is unable to overcome his emotions, which stem from claims to complete and exclusive "possession" of the object of his adoration. These claims constantly appear, and although there are often no real reasons for them, the jealous person lives in constant fear of loss. He constantly feels that someone else is taking away the love of the most important person, and he is unable to bear such experiences, he is in a constant state of stress, anger, rage and resentment, which push him to inadequate and unreasonable actions. According to statistics, almost half of the world's population is subject to jealousy to one degree or another, and 27% of men and 23% of women suffer from it in a hypertrophied form. Such emotional people live on average 10-12 years less than those who do not expose themselves to such strong emotions. After family scandals over money, jealousy is in second place, and very often both of them end in the destruction of the family, and children suffer from this the most. Therefore, jealousy - the monster with green eyes, as it is often called - must and can be fought.

Jealousy doesn't mean love

There is a common stereotype: if he is jealous, thenloves. And many women begin to doubt the feelings of their partner if there is no jealousy in the relationship. In fact, this opinion is as true as the one like "beating means loving." There is nothing good in the feeling of jealousy, and it is not connected with love. In fact, love is a gratuitous feeling, when you want to make the other person feel good. Love gives everything, and does not demand anything in return. Such a bright, positive feeling cannot have anything in common with jealousy and violence. The myth "jealous and beating - means loves" was invented by people seeking to occupy a special position, humiliating loved ones. A jealous person has two ways to achieve the favor of the object of his adoration and make it so that he does not want to look the other way: endlessly demand that he, like a faithful dog, be at his feet all the time or make an effort, changing and disposing of his half to himself. "Inveterate" Jealous people most often choose the first, thereby destroying their marriage. A jealous person is an insecure person. He is driven by the fear of loss and the resulting loneliness. It is the fear of inevitable loneliness, and not love, that makes him keep his partner by any means and often waste his life on a relationship with a person who, by and large, may not need him. Unlike a woman, a man can be jealous of his wife even for their common children, believing that she pays much more attention to them than to him. Male jealousy manifests itself in an acute desire to dominate his woman as much as possible and completely limit her freedom. A jealous man does everything to prevent his companion from putting on makeup, dressing nicely, meeting with friends. The ideal option for him would be for a woman to have no friends at all. The roots of female jealousy in most cases grow out of low self-esteem. A jealous woman needs constant confirmation from her partner of her importance and attractiveness to him. She requires constant confirmation from him that she is much more beautiful and interesting than other women around him. Let's try to formulate more precisely the main reasons that make people jealous of each other:

Fear of losing your property. Egoism generates proprietary feelings and a too violent fantasy, which the jealous acted more often without any grounds and reasons.

Fear of loneliness and social unsettledness. It seems to jealous people that they will not be able to exist normally (morally or materially) without their partner.

Low self-esteem. The causes of jealousy often lie in the lack of confidence in their appearance and charm.

Children's complexes. Many jealousy build their relationships following the example of parents, where the father or mother was constantly jealous of each other.

How to get rid of jealousy forever

Jealousy is akin to a disease, and it is difficult to get rid of itfeelings on your own is quite difficult, because in order to learn how to manage it, you must first of all adequately understand the reasons for its occurrence and understand the futility of this relationship leading to the abyss of feelings. Therefore, as with any treatment, the best solution would be to seek help from a specialist. If this is not possible, you can try using the following method, consisting of several stages:

First of all, you will have to realize that you are obsessed with jealousy, and honestly tell yourself about it. This awareness is especially difficult for men.

Then you need to understand the reasons for jealousyin your particular case. Having determined them, try without charges, calmly, as quietly as possible, talk with your soul mate about the experiences that you are experiencing.

It is necessary to realize that your doubts,who are jealous, may be mistaken, and be prepared to listen and accept the point of view of their partner. If there is still distrust, check your doubts. Most likely you will be convinced that you were wrong.

When you finally decide to win in yourselfjealousy, do not spare a few days to make a written list of situations that could provoke you to an outburst of jealousy. Think through all the options in detail and slowly. Place them in order of increasing emotional intensity - from the least to the most unpleasant for you. Making such a list can take several days. Do not be lazy. Think it over carefully. After the list is made, you have to do the most important and difficult thing: turn on pleasant relaxing music, get comfortable, and mentally live through these situations one by one, imagining them in as much detail as possible. Do not move on to the next situation until you have experienced the whole gamut of unpleasant sensations. You do not need to experience the entire list in one day, as there will be no benefit from this. Gradually, this technique will help get rid of the feeling of jealousy towards your partner. No matter how strong and all-consuming jealousy is, it can always be dealt with, the main thing is to sincerely want it. Any of us can ask ourselves how to get rid of jealousy, and, having understood ourselves, take control of our feelings. You must love yourself and believe that you are good in yourself and worthy of love. When you truly understand that you are dear to others as you are, without any conditions, you will be able to accept yourself and become confident in your own abilities. You will no longer need to try to earn love by pretending to be someone else, and the exhausting need to constantly keep your partner close to you will disappear.

A few tips to the former jealous

Having understood myself and worked on myfeelings, you will be able to take your relationship to a new level, free from uncontrollable jealousy. To prevent this self-destructive feeling from taking over you again, take a few simple rules into service:

• constantly develop and strengthen confidence in your self-sufficiency;
• build relationships with a partner on mutual trust;
• spend a lot of time together, but do not be too much imposed and give each other freedom within reasonable limits;
• find an interesting occupation or hobby for yourself, which will take the place of jealousy in your free time and thoughts;
• love yourself for who you are;
• treat jealousy only as one of many human emotions, do not put it at the head of your relationship;
• Don't give in to hysterics towards your loved one - aggression won't help keep him, it only scares and pushes him away;
• Be sincere, tell your partner about your fears and ask him not to provoke you,
• to the feelings of your second half treat with respect.

Getting rid of jealousy will take a lot of effortmental strength and will take a lot of time. Be patient. Jealousy, like any other passion, must be kept in check. The question of how to get rid of it forever must be approached logically. Mistrust has never made a single family happy. Never compare yourself to others. There are more than 6 billion people on Earth, and there will always be someone smarter and more beautiful than us, but this does not mean that your other half dreams of replacing you with someone else. After all, she has already made her choice in your favor and is next to you. This means that she needs you and you have something that others do not have. The main thing for maintaining a relationship is to learn from your past mistakes, become wiser and be able to compromise.

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