The Mendelssohn march ended and the guests' cries died down."Bitter", the flowers have withered. So, congratulations - such a mysterious creature as a husband has finally appeared in your home. Of course, you are happy! And this is completely natural - what woman does not want to decorate her passport with the long-awaited stamp? Well, with very rare exceptions. But remember that together with your husband you have acquired not only great joy, tenderness and support, but also a serious responsibility. Your husband, in fact, is still a completely wild - young and inexperienced - a specimen that needs to be watched like a hawk. Moreover, control must be continuous and vigilant. But do not rush to be scared - this will not last that long. Of course, if you put your hand to it. And for this you must know exactly how to raise a good husband. This is what we will talk about today. After all, raising a man is a process no less responsible than raising children. And definitely more difficult. A child from birth is very attached to you, unlike your man. And a child is not predisposed to various aunties, alcoholic drinks, fishing and weekends with friends, is he? That is why raising an ideal husband is an activity that requires a woman's full dedication and attention. After all, in order to get the desired result, you need to try very hard, take into account thousands of different nuances and features of the male psyche. Of course, this is not an easy task and many women give in to it. And it is in vain - if you do everything right, your efforts will not be in vain. At the "output" you will get an ideal (well, almost ideal) man, with whom you will feel good and calm at home, and you can let him out in society for a walk without any particular fears. But enough of the introduction - let's begin to comprehend the basics of taming and raising a husband.

Who is the head in this house?

As you know, raising a child begins withfrom his very birth. This is also true for a man - start the educational process from the very first day of his appearance in the house. Or your appearance in his house - it does not change the essence of the matter. The first thing you need to do is immediately find out the answer to the eternal question "who is the boss in the house?" The sooner your husband clearly understands this, the better. And for him! Although, of course, he will never appreciate it. But this must be done very carefully so that the man does not feel any pressure and does not resist. In the end, if he wants to feel like a boss - let him feel it. But you are a smart woman, and you will always find a way to make your husband do exactly as you need. In this way, you will be able to avoid many problems, stress and loud showdowns.

Proper nutrition

As we know, the way to a man's heart is unknown.did not cheat - it still lies through his stomach. That is why do not forget the simple fact that the key to successful education of any man is proper nutrition. And if in the first few months, and sometimes years, a man gets by with "foraged" food, preferring you for dessert, then later he will have to be fed. Sooner or later, but this will happen in any case. And the usual female food is unlikely to be able to satisfy all the needs of the male body. No, we do not require you to evict vegetables, fruits and low-fat yogurts from your refrigerator forever. But from now on, other products should settle next to them. Get ready - you will definitely need much larger pots now. And clearly not one - two. After all, semi-finished products are good for feeding husbands only in those very first few months, when a man is most concerned about dessert - that is, you. Then you will have to cook yourself - cook a lot and deliciously. Otherwise, your husband will very soon begin to show signs of discontent and indignation. You don't want someone else to feed your husband, do you? Oh, and by the way, you shouldn't accustom your husband to restaurants. Of course, unless you're married to an oligarch. Otherwise, the cook will most likely do the cooking. Jokes aside, you need to feed your husband tasty and filling food.

Appearance of a man

As you know, people judge a person by their clothes.And by a man's clothes they also evaluate the professional suitability of his better half - that is, you. And it is much more pleasant to look at a well-groomed man. Fortunately, today the vast majority of men are very attentive to their appearance. If you are lucky and you "dug up" such a rare specimen who still believes that a man is adorned with a three-day stubble, and shudders at the word "manicure", you will have a difficult task - the transformation of your husband and his "humanization". You will have to accustom a man to the idea that he should take a shower much more often than his car is in the car wash, nails should be cut before they start knocking on the floor, deodorant is not a waste of money, and a comb is not just an interior item. After these skills are firmly entrenched in the man's subconscious, take care of his wardrobe. Surely you have perfect taste. However, don’t overdo it – otherwise there is a risk that the man, shining like a polished nickel, could be snatched right from under your nose.

Male workload

At least for the first eight to ten yearsIt is worth restraining your husband's desire to run to the left. Otherwise, the man risks gaining excess weight. Are you afraid that he will not come home? In vain, only forbidden fruit is sweet - your husband will not go anywhere. But seriously, a man really should be constantly busy with something. Otherwise, he will very quickly get bored and start to mope, be capricious and fray the nerves. And both himself and everyone around him. And this activity can be anything - repairs in the apartment, shopping, a parent-teacher meeting in kindergarten. However, in no case forget that a man is also a person. And he also needs personal space and time. Make sure that the man can do his favorite thing - collecting, wood burning, fishing, in the end.

Whip…

Unfortunately, no educational processdoes without punishment - such is the prose of life. And even the most beloved husband will have to be punished from time to time. Moreover, the punishment must be lightning fast - follow immediately after the offense. In no case postpone punitive measures for an indefinite period - after a while, the husband simply will not understand why you punished him. And as a result, instead of learning the necessary lesson from what happened, he will be mortally offended at you. Of course, you should not resort to physical punishment - this is extremely unpedagogical. In addition, very often in such cases, the husband can give back. There is no need to tease the geese in vain. There are many much more humane and effective ways to make your husband understand that he was wrong and it is time for him to run for flowers. It is difficult to say for sure which method will be effective in your case. For some men, the worst punishment is a disapproving look, and for others, even “excommunication” from the body is not a big deal. Therefore, decide for yourself how to punish your husband – you know him much better. But remember that in no case should you get carried away with such a favorite remedy for all women as tears. Of course, tears work flawlessly on most men. However, you should not abuse them, because otherwise the man will stop paying any attention to your tears. And you will be known as a crybaby and hysterical. Therefore, save tears for the most extreme case, when you really cannot do without them.

Gingerbread ...

But there is no carrot without a stick, says the classicpedagogy. Therefore, you should not only scold your husband, but also praise him. Moreover, you should praise and encourage him sincerely – there is no place for falsehood here. After all, we are talking about a beloved husband, right? Otherwise, you should not even waste your time – there will be no family without love – at least, a happy family. In addition, a reward is an excellent means of stimulating a man to do good deeds. While a little time has passed after the wedding, it is easy to encourage a man – just throw back the edge of your blanket. But over time, you will have to expand the arsenal of rewards – a fishing trip, a trip with friends to a sauna or a football match, etc. However, do not get too carried away with rewards – psychologists say that balance is extremely important in the educational process: there should be one reward for every one punishment. If you overdo it with rewards, your husband may feel permissive and become very unruly. And if you overdo it with punishments, your husband may not be able to stand it and leave you – it’s unlikely that he was looking for a strict mother in you.

Talk with your husband

Of course, we are not talking about simple everyday lifecommunication at the level of such phrases as "pass me the sugar bowl, please" or "who will take the car today." A man vitally needs full communication, even if he does not show it and periodically asks you to be silent for a while. Tell your husband about how your day went, what your plans are for the future. Make sure that the conversation does not always revolve around your precious person - let your husband speak out, ask what is happening in his life, how he is doing at work. Believe me, men really appreciate this kind of communication, which they perceive as care and increased interest in themselves. And what man does not dream of constantly being the center of attention? And communication with your husband will bring you a lot of benefits. It will take very little time, and very soon you will learn to recognize not only the intonations of your man, but even his silence. Women who have lived with their other halves in a legal marriage for more than one year claim that they can understand from their husband's silence when something is wrong with him - problems at work, poor health, vacation pay or bonuses not taken into account in the family budget. In general, it is a very useful skill, so practice it.

The personal space of a man

Psychologists have reliably proven that forFor a normal existence, any person should have their own personal space. Men are no exception to this rule. If a man is trying to take over some corner of the apartment, do not rush to nip his actions in the bud. Yes, the corner he has chosen, cluttered with all sorts of objects, does not really decorate the interior of your home. Moreover, the most diverse things can act as trash - fishing line, hooks, other fishing tackle, cars, spare parts, soldiers, computer elements. The essence of the matter does not change at all - a man catastrophically needs his own place, where no one will pull and "nag" him, making endless comments about the mess in the apartment. And note - a mess only from our picky female point of view. Depending on the duration of the marriage and the size of your living space, you will still have to allocate this notorious personal space to your husband - this can be a desk or a garage. But you should never touch anything in this man's world. He will definitely appreciate it and thank you more than once. However, constantly make sure that the man does not try to expand his space. And he will definitely try to do this. And if he succeeds, then do not be surprised to find earthworms in the refrigerator, and a piece of rotten meat for a cutlet with maggots on the balcony. And your husband will not understand your violent indignation - after all, he did nothing wrong, he was just getting ready to go fishing ...

Become a part of his life

In the first months after the wedding, in front of a womanthe most important task is to become an integral part of your man's life. To do this, use the heaviest artillery. When you drop by your husband's work, put a photo on his desk - preferably a wedding photo. Leave your handkerchief or gloves, or other small items, in the car. Be sure to make sure that your husband always and everywhere wears a wedding ring. Regularly call your husband at work so that his secretary recognizes you and does not ask how to introduce you. In this way, your husband will very soon get used to the fact that his life without you is impossible. However, all this must be done very carefully and unobtrusively - otherwise, your husband may decide that you are "pressuring" him and will rebel. Be tactful, unobtrusive, but persistent.

At the first call ...

"Come here!» - this is the phrase to which the husband should respond immediately. And accustom your spouse to this as early as possible. As a rule, this skill is developed very quickly - after all, we are all familiar with it without exception, thanks to our mothers. Always praise your husband after he comes to you at your call. Believe me - this skill, brought to automatism, will come in handy more than once later. For example, at parties or on vacations, when there are so many different temptations around. By the way - always remember one "golden" truth. Never punish your husband who came to you at your call too much. And it does not matter how much he drank before that, and how long he made eyes at a charming girl. Otherwise, there is a very high probability of losing contact with the man. And in this case, there can be no talk of any upbringing!

Work and husband

Fortunately, nature is extremely wise.And in the blood of most men, ever since the times when they were forced to hunt mammoths, there remains the desire to work. However, alas, very often a man forgets that work should bring not only moral and aesthetic pleasure, but also money. Of course, being the wife of an artist or musician is very pleasant. But only if the paintings are sold and stadiums are full. Otherwise, the romance will disappear very quickly. And you will understand that it will be you who will be responsible for supporting the family. In order to prevent this from happening, such behavior needs to be corrected. Often, a woman takes the path of least resistance and begins to nag her husband all day long, citing more successful acquaintances as an example. Of course, there is a chance that a man's pride will flare up and he will change jobs. However, this chance is extremely small. It is much more likely that a man will either start to get offended and freak out, or will simply get used to your discontent and stop noticing it. It is much wiser to act differently. First, review the family budget. Cut back on all entertainment – ​​going to the cinema, cafes, football. Change your diet – buy cheaper products, eliminate all your favorite treats. And this must be done even if your income level allows you to lead your usual lifestyle. Sooner or later, your husband will definitely notice this. If this measure does not help, act more radically – do not pay for utilities, the Internet for at least one month. Be sure to leave unpaid receipts in a visible place. Ask your husband for help, say that you cannot do without him. Believe me, your confused tone and helpless eyes will make your husband come to his senses much faster than constant hysterics and threats. By the way – another important detail. Ask for help from all your relatives and friends. And this help should consist precisely in the absence of help. Financial. If your spouse understands that money can always be borrowed, the problem will not only not be resolved, but will worsen even more. If in this case the husband categorically does not want to work, there is only one way out - to seek help from a family psychologist. Although, in fairness, it should be noted that very few men agree to visit this specialist. And the visit does not always lead to success. Therefore, in the end, you will have to make a decision - to pull the strap yourself, or change your spouse.

Repetition is the mother of learning

And remember that repetition is the mother of learning.Even a well-mannered, time-tested man risks falling into a primordial state: he stops taking you into account, behaves inappropriately. Therefore, a woman should never relax and let the situation get out of control. Unfortunately, sometimes a man's unconditional instincts prevail, hormonal surges occur - and a man can even leave his family. Of course, in most cases, after a short time, he returns home with the look of a beaten dog. But you should not allow this at all. And to prevent this from happening, never lose vigilance, letting your husband relax. As you can see, raising a good husband requires a lot of effort. But you probably knew what you were getting into, right? Therefore, do not stop halfway - you will definitely succeed! The best husband is the husband you raise yourself. And also - do not forget that a man, in turn, can begin to raise you! Of course, you should not take everything written in this article too seriously. The most important thing that is necessary for creating a happy family is love. But remember that there is a grain of truth in every joke. Be happy! We recommend reading:

Comments

comments