The March of Mendelssohn was heard, the cries of the guests subsided"It's bitter," the flowers wilted. So, we congratulate you - in your house at last such mysterious creature as the husband was got. Of course, you are happy! And it is quite natural - what woman does not seek to decorate her passport with a long-awaited stamp? Well, except for a very rare exception. But remember that together with her husband you have acquired not only great joy, tenderness and support, but also serious responsibility. Your husband, in fact, is still completely wild - a young and inexperienced - a specimen, after which you need eyes and eyes. And the control must be continuous and vigilant. But do not rush to get scared - it will not last long. Of course, in the event that you put your hand to it. And for this you must know exactly how to raise a good husband. This is exactly what we will talk about today. After all, the education of a man is a process no less responsible than the education of children. And definitely heavier. A child from the very beginning is very attached to you, unlike your man. And the child is not predisposed to different aunts, spirits, fishing and weekends with friends, is not it? That is why the education of the ideal husband is an occupation that requires the woman to give full self-giving and attention. After all, in order to get the desired result, you need to try very hard to take into account thousands of different nuances and features of the male psyche. Of course, this task is not easy and a lot of women fold before it. And very vain - if you do everything right, your efforts will not be wasted. At the "exit" you get the ideal (well, or almost perfect) man with whom the house will be nice and quiet, and you can let go of society without any special fear. But enough prefaces - we begin to comprehend the basics of domestication and education of her husband.
Who is the head in this house?
As you know, raising a child begins withhis very birth. This is also true for a man - start the educational process from the very first day of his appearance in the house. Or your appearance in his house - the essence of the matter does not change it. The first thing you need to do is find out the answer to the eternal question "who is the master of the house?" The earlier your husband clearly understands this, the better. And for him himself! Although, of course, he never will appreciate it. But it must be done very carefully, so that the man does not feel any pressure and does not resist. In the end, if he wants to feel like a master, let him feel. But you are an intelligent woman, and you will always find a way to get your husband to do exactly as you need. Thus, you will be able to avoid a lot of problems, hassle and high-profile clarification of the relationship.
As you know, no one has yet the path to the heart of a manchanged - he still lies through his stomach. That is why do not forget the simple fact that the key to the successful education of any man is proper nutrition. And if in the first few months, and sometimes even years, a man completely manages "fodder" food, preferring to dessert you, then he will have to be fed. Sooner or later, but it will happen anyway. A familiar women's food is unlikely to meet all the needs of the male body. No, we do not require you to permanently evict from your refrigerator vegetables, fruits and low-fat yogurts. But from now on, next to them, other products must also settle. Get ready - the pans now will definitely need a much larger size. And clearly not one or two. After all, semi-finished products are good for feeding their husbands only in the very first few months, when the man is most worried about dessert - that is, you. Then you have to cook yourself - cook a lot and delicious. Otherwise, the husband will very soon begin to show signs of discontent and indignation. You do not want someone else to feed your faithful? Yes, by the way - it is not necessary to teach to her husband's restaurants. Of course, if you are not married to an oligarch. For otherwise the cook will cook, most likely. Jokes are jokes, and it is necessary to feed the husband tasty and satisfying.
Appearance of a man
As you know, they meet people by their clothes. And for men's clothing is still evaluated by prof. the suitability of his dearest half - that is, you. Yes, and most look at a well-groomed man is much nicer. Fortunately, to date, the vast majority of men are very attentive to their appearance. If you are lucky and you "dropped off" such a rare specimen that still thinks that a man is decorated with a three-day bristle, and from the word "manicure" shudders, you will have a difficult task - your husband's reincarnation and his "humanizing". You have to train a man to think that he should take a shower much more often than his car is in a sink, you need to cut your nails before they start knocking on the floor, deodorant is not a waste of money, and a comb is not just an object of interior . After these skills are firmly fixed in the subconscious of a man, take care of his wardrobe. Surely you have the perfect taste. However, do not overdo it - otherwise there is a risk that the shining man can be taken straight from under your nose.
At least the first eight to ten years are notIt is necessary to restrain the husband's desire to run to the left. For otherwise a man runs the risk of gaining excess weight. Are you afraid that he will not return home? In vain, only the forbidden fruit is sweet - the husband will not get away from you anywhere. But seriously, a man really should be constantly busy with something. Otherwise, he very quickly gets bored and begins to mope, be capricious and nerve. And as to itself, and to all associates. And this occupation can be anything - repair in an apartment, a shopping trip, a parent meeting in a kindergarten. However, in no case forget that the man is also a man. And he also needs personal space and time. Make sure that the man can do his favorite thing - collecting, burning, fishing, after all.
Alas, no educational process is not completewithout punishment - this is the prose of life. And even the most ardently beloved husband will have to be punished periodically. And the punishment should be lightning - to follow immediately for the offense. In no case do not postpone punitive measures for an indefinite period - the husband later will simply not understand why you punished him. And as a result, instead of taking out the necessary lesson from the incident, it will be mortally offended at you. Of course, you should not resort to physical punishment - it's extremely non-pedagogical. In addition, very often in such cases, the husband and surrender can give. No need to tease geese in vain. There are many much more humane and effective ways to make it clear to the husband that he was wrong and it's time to run for the flowers. It is difficult to say unambiguously which method will be effective in your case. For some men, the most terrible punishment is a disapproving look, and for another and "excommunication" from the body, it is not a special disaster. So decide for yourself how to punish your husband - you know him much better. But remember that in any case you can not get carried away by such a favorite by all women means, like tears. Of course, tears are working without fail on most men. However, they should not be abused, otherwise the man will stop paying any attention to your tears. And you are going to be a crybaby and a hysterical person. Therefore, leave the tears for the most extreme case, when you can not really do without them.
But there is no carrot without a carrot, reads the classicalpedagogy. Therefore, the husband needs not only to scold, but also to praise. And praise and encourage should be sincere - falsity is not the place. We are talking about our beloved husband, right? Otherwise, do not even waste time - the family without love will not - at least, a happy family. In addition, the reward is an excellent tool that stimulates a man to commit good deeds. So long after the wedding, a little more time has passed, to encourage the man simply - just throw back the edge of your blanket. But over time, you will have to expand the arsenal of incentives - a trip to fishing, hiking with friends in the sauna or football and so on. However, do not get carried away with incentives very much - psychologists say that in the educational process it is extremely important to balance: one encouragement must have one punishment. In the event that you overdo with incentives, the husband can feel the permissiveness and strongly disengage. And in the event that you overdo with the punishment, the husband can not stand and throw you - it is unlikely that he was looking for a strict mother in your face.
Talk with your husband
Of course, we are not talking about a simple householdcommunication at the level of such phrases as "pass me the sugar bowl, please" or "who will take the car today". A man is in vital need of full communication, even if he does not show his mind and periodically asks you to shut up a little. Tell your husband about how your day went, what are your plans for the future. Take care that the conversation does not rotate all the time around only your precious person - let your husband speak out, ask what's going on in his life, how his business is at work. Believe me, men really appreciate this kind of communication, which they perceive as care and increased interest in their person. And what kind of man does not always want to be in the spotlight? And you communication with her husband will bring many benefits. A very short time will pass, and very soon you will learn to recognize not only the intonation of your man, but even his silence. Women who have lived with their second half in a lawful marriage for more than a year, say that by silence, her husband can understand when he has something wrong - problems at work, poor health, unaccounted holiday budgets or bonuses paid by the family budget. In general, a very useful skill, so train.
The personal space of a man
Psychologists have reliably proven that fornormal existence, any person should have his own personal space. Men are not an exception to this rule. If a man aspires to seize any corner of the apartment, do not rush to stop his actions on the vine. Yes, the corner chosen by him, cluttered with all sorts of objects, does not decorate the interior of your home very much. And as a junk can act a variety of things - fishing line, hooks, other fishing gear, cars, spare parts, soldiers, computer elements. The essence of the matter from this does not change at all - a man catastrophically needs his place, where no one will jerk him and "saw", making endless comments about the mess in the apartment. And note - the mess is only in our picky female look Depending on the duration of marriage and the size of your living space, you still have to give her husband the most notorious personal space - it can be a desk or garage. But you should never touch anything in this male world. He will appreciate it and thank you many times. However, always make sure that the man does not try to expand his space. And he will definitely try to do it. And if he succeeds, then do not be surprised to find in the refrigerator earthworms, and on the balcony - a piece of rotten meat for a chop, with sponges. And your spouse will not understand your violent indignation - he did not do anything wrong, just prepared for fishing ...
Become a part of his life
In the first months after the wedding in front of a womanthe most important task is to become an integral part of the life of your man. For this purpose the heaviest artillery is used. Running to his wife to work, put him on the table photo - preferably, a wedding. In the car leave your handkerchief or gloves, other little things. Be sure to ensure that your husband always and everywhere wore an engagement ring. Regularly call your spouse for work so that his secretary will recognize you and not ask how to present. Thus, the husband will very soon get used to the fact that his life without you is impossible. However, all this should be done very carefully and unobtrusively - otherwise the husband can decide that you "press" on him and rebel. Be tactful, unobtrusive, but persistent.
At the first call ...
"Come here!"- this is the phrase to which the husband should respond immediately. And accustom the spouse to this as soon as possible. Typically, this skill is developed very quickly - because he is familiar to us all without exception, thanks to our moms. Always praise your husband after he comes to you at your call. Believe me - this skill, brought to automatism, will not only come in handy later. For example, at parties or on holidays, when there are so many different temptations around. By the way, always remember one "golden" truth. Never punish a man who comes to you at your call, too much. And it does not matter how much he drank before that, and how long he kept his eyes on the adorable girl. Otherwise, the likelihood of losing contact with a man is very high. And in this case there can be no question of any upbringing!
Work and husband
Fortunately, nature is extremely wise. And in the blood of most men, even from the time when they were forced to hunt mammoths, there was a desire to work. However, alas, very often a man forgets that work should bring not only moral and aesthetic pleasure, but also money. Of course, being a wife of an artist or a musician is very pleasant. But only in the event that the paintings are sold, and the stadiums are going to. Otherwise, the romance will very quickly disappear. And you will understand that it is up to you to keep a family. In order for this to happen, this behavior needs to be corrected. Often a woman goes on the path of least resistance and starts whole days "saw" the husband, citing the example of more successful acquaintances. Of course, the chance that a man will grow up in self-esteem and he will change jobs exists. However, this chance is extremely small. It is much more likely that a man will either become offended and psychotic, or simply get used to your discontent and stop noticing it. It is much more reasonable to act differently. First, review the family budget. Cut off spending on all the fun - going to the movies, cafes, football. Change the diet - buy cheaper products, exclude all your favorite treats. And it is necessary to do this even if your income level allows you to lead a habitual way of life. Sooner or later the husband will notice this. If this measure does not help, act more radically - at least one month will not pay for utilities, the Internet. Be sure to leave unpaid receipts in a conspicuous place. Ask for help from her husband, say that without him you can not do. Believe me, your confused tone and helpless eyes will make your husband think again much faster than constant tantrums and threats. By the way, one more important detail. Ask for help from all relatives and friends. And this assistance should be in the absence of assistance. Financial. If your spouse understands that money can always be borrowed, the problem will not only be resolved, but even more aggravated. If, in this case, the husband categorically does not want to work, there is only one way out - to seek help from a family psychologist. Although, for the sake of justice, it should be noted that very few men agree to visit this specialist. And the visit does not always lead to success. Therefore, you eventually have to make a decision - pull the strap itself, or change the spouse.
Repetition is the mother of learning
And remember that repetition is the mother of learning. Even a well-bred, years-tested man runs the risk of falling into a pristine state: to cease to reckon with you, to behave in an inappropriate way. Therefore, in no case should a woman relax and miss the situation out of control. Unfortunately, sometimes a man has unconditional instincts, hormonal bursts - and even a man can leave the family. Of course, in most cases, after a short time comes home, with the sight of a beaten dog. But you should not allow this at all. And so that this does not happen, never lose vigilance, letting your husband relax. As you can see, raising a good husband requires a lot of effort. But you probably knew about what went on? So do not stop halfway - you all will succeed! The best husband is the husband you grow yourself. And yet - do not forget that a man, in turn, can start to educate you! Of course, do not take everything written in this article too seriously. The most important thing that is necessary for creating a happy family is love. But remember that every joke has a bit of a joke. Be happy! We advise you to read: