Love is a feeling that makes youthe planet Earth is spinning. This can be said without exaggeration. Experiencing it, we are ready to do what we would never dare to do in a normal state: move mountains, lose twenty kilograms, move to another country, jump with a parachute - and all this for the sake of a loved one. However, life is a strange thing, and this most magical love has the property of disappearing one day. Usually, one partner tells the other about its loss, and the latter does not know what to do about it. How to forget old love? What to do to recover after this?

Why does love go away?

When we remember relationships, each of usSurely what you like most about them is the beginning: the first exciting moments you experience together, loving glances, walks under the moon, magical moments of getting to know another person. And then suddenly, at some point, this feeling disappears. Why does this happen?

• True intimacy Oddly enough, it is she whocan provoke the departure of love. Many people are afraid of truly close relationships, as they require a serious commitment of mental strength and responsibility for another person. And such closeness implies a deep knowledge of the partner, including the shadow sides of his personality. Not everyone is able to survive a collision with them, and this, as a rule, is the first serious crisis in any couple.
• Inconsistency of inner worlds Each of ushas its own personal core, which you rely on in life: values, worldview, life goals. It is very important that the partner at least to some extent shares these important spiritual foundations for you. Differences in life ideology lead to serious differences in interests, needs, principles and behavior in general. Sooner or later, a man and a woman understand that their couple is simply not viable, unless, of course, one of the partners renounces his or her life principles.
• Mismatched characters If we are abovetalked about some fundamental differences, then in this case we are talking about behavior and temperament. For example, the wife is an extrovert and constantly chatters incessantly, listens loudly to the TV and moves chaotically around the apartment. And the husband is an introvert who loves solitude and peace. Yes, at the stage of falling in love this difference did not stop anyone, but later it can really “get” both partners.
• Lack of freedom Of course, there are people in the world,who feel at ease only when in the suffocating embrace of another. But most of us need personal freedom and space. The partner’s attempts to constantly control you are seen as an invasion and begin to cause aggression. If nothing changes, this inevitably leads to mutual misunderstanding and a breakup.
• Long distances There is such a thing -long-distance relationships, which are resorted to by couples who are unable to be together, but do not want to separate. Approximately three quarters of people who have had such an experience claim that it is almost impossible to maintain love in such relationships. There is no sex, physical contact, the opportunity to personally tell your loved one about your day and much more. Each of the partners begins to experience changes that the other does not always like. All this generally causes love to leave the relationship.
• Banal fatigue It also happens that youyou simply get tired of each other. This is because you know each other's characters and habits completely - there is no mystery, no zest left. At the same time, you cannot get used to and accept your partner - this takes years. All this causes discontent and irritation, which roll over your couple in fits and starts. This usually happens a year or two after you start living together.

This is far from a complete list of reasons, due towhich love passes. Of course, you can avoid this by neutralizing the power of negative factors as much as possible, but not everyone succeeds. And if you are now reading our article, then most likely the question of how to forget love does not give you peace.

How long does it take to forget?

How much time do you think should pass?before you forget your past love? There is no universal answer to this question and there cannot be. The speed of the process of forgetting previous relationships depends on many factors. A joint study by psychologists from leading universities in the UK and the US was aimed at studying them. For example, is it possible to forget your first love? Scientists have proven that this is almost impossible: about eighty percent of people in one form or another have encountered sudden manifestations of this seemingly long-faded feeling. Accordingly, forgetting your first love remains a big question. With subsequent relationships, things are different, and love wounds from them heal. From time to time, you can find various formulas for calculating the period of farewell to love on the Internet. The most famous and correct one sounds like this: from the moment of separation until calming down, approximately half of the time that you were together should pass. For example, if you dated a guy for a year, then you will need six months to forget him. For some people, this period is too long, so alternative options are offered: a week out of all the months you were together, exactly a thousand shots of tequila and not a drop less, a month of crying into your pillow, etc. - In fact, everything is individual for each person, and your task is to choose the way of experiencing a breakup that will suit you.

Out of sight - out of mind!

Love can be completely different: первая, безответная, иссушающая, спокойная и т.д. … Одно дело, когда безумно любили вы, и совсем другое — когда безумно любили вас. Восстанавливаться после этого нужно будет совершенно по-разному. Наверняка вы бывали в каждой из этих ситуаций и знаете, насколько тяжело проживать подобный опыт на собственной шкуре. Именно поэтому чуть ниже мы специально для вас собрали самые эффективные психологические рекомендации, касающиеся того, как отойти от предыдущих отношений. Первая любовь Первая любовь становится для любого человека волшебным окном в мир настоящих и глубоких чувств. Помните эти ощущения? Как правило, она настигает нас еще подростками. Ураган романтических чувств, гормональная буря, желание быть вместе всегда, несмотря ни на что — все это типичные признаки первой любви. Но она, как правило, проходит. Первое расставание по глубине переживаний сравнимо и даже способно переплюнуть саму влюбленность. Конечно, со временем раны затягиваются, но эти отношения продолжают быть все так же эмоционально нагруженными.  Да и нужно ли забывать первую любовь? В конце концов, воспоминания о ней всегда будут источником приятных переживаний, связанных с легким и беззаботным юношеством. Однако если она является причиной, по которой вы до сих пор не можете выстроить нормальную личную жизнь, то пора приниматься за дело. “Как же ее забудешь? — спросите вы. — Это же абсолютно нереально!”. Но мы попробуем вам доказать обратное. Самый простой и понятный способ — это ограничение общения с объектом первой любви. Но здесь кроются свои подводные камни: иногда мы годами терзаем себя на предмет того, что было бы, если бы вы не разошлись. И в этом случае ограничение общения может быть отличной почвой для идеализации бывшего кавалера и фантазий о нем. Вполне возможно, что достойным альтернативным вариантом будет попробовать установить с ним хотя бы какие-то отношения. Тогда вам станет понятно, что он отнюдь не идеален, и у него есть свои недостатки. Помните, что в одну реку дважды не войдешь. И если вы по каким-то причинам решитесь на возобновление отношений, то они будут совсем другими, нежели вам помнится. Прошло много времени, и человек, которого вы когда-то любили, очень сильно изменился — как и вы. Нередко воспоминания о первой любви являются лишь способом вернуться в пору юности и реализовать то, что было пропущено и потеряно. Забыть первую любовь получается не часто. Но вы можете перестать реагировать на того, кто является ее объектом. Для этого нужно осознать одну простую вещь: это вы были влюблены и переживали ураган чувств. А он был всего лишь человеком, вызвавшим это, открывшим в вас способность любить. Именно поэтому первая любовь обрастает таким количеством иллюзий. В конце концов, вы можете пустить энергию этих переживаний в мирное русло. Наилучший способ для этого — творчество. Останьтесь одна в комнате и вызовите в памяти воспоминания о первой любви. Как только они станут живыми, начинайте творить: рисовать, писать стихи, фотографировать, вышивать и т.д. … Делайте то, что вам нравится и что вы любите. Будьте уверены, результат получится другим, нежели обычно. Используйте этот метод каждый раз, когда первая любовь проявит себя, и через какое-то время сила, удерживающая вас, ослабнет. Безответная любовь Возможно, что объект страсти так и не ответил вам взаимностью — такое, к сожалению, происходит сплошь и рядом. Вот и получается, что вы любите, а вас — нет. Внутри остается черное болезненное ощущение, которое почему-то очень долго никуда не уходит. Оно провоцирует вас на глупые поступки, начиная от желания разорвать этого мужчину и заканчивая слезными мольбами в его адрес. Как забыть безответную любовь и избавиться от комка в своем сердце? Психологи предлагают разные способы:

Total renunciation Perhaps expulsion will help youlove from your life. Think about it, the symptoms of falling in love are copied one to one from a psychiatry textbook: sudden mood swings, increased anxiety, euphoria, depression and much more. Accordingly, if you approach unrequited love as a disease, then the treatment plan is very simple - eliminate the root cause from life. Drive away any thoughts about love, do not read books and do not watch films on the relevant topic, fill your life with something else - and then there is a high probability that the virus of love fever will stop besieging your fortress.

Logic is a great weapon that killsnegative emotions It's all about the work of the hemispheres: when one is activated, responsible for rational reasoning, the second, associated with feelings, rests. Therefore, try to turn on your head and soberly assess: why do you need love? What are its pros and cons for you? If you start to drift into romantic delirium, immediately turn on the strict critic - as if you were reading someone else's text. Do not forget to pay attention to the inevitable fading of feelings, the feeling of dependence and other "charms" of being in love.

Criticism won't hurt your chosen one eitherfrom the image of an ideal man. You know that there are no such people, right? So try to evaluate the object of your affection critically. Yes, now it seems to you that he is the most wonderful person in the world. But try to find at least one tiny flaw in him. Perhaps he snores at night. And does not know how to combine colors in clothes. And also constantly criticizes and corrects everyone - after all, he is the smartest. Imagine yourself living day after day with a person with all these shortcomings, and the veil of unrequited love will quickly fall from your eyes.

Fill Your Life When you're busy, youno time to think about the bad. It is no coincidence that one wise man called idleness the source of all problems - this is really true. Your mind tries to be in a full state, and when there is nothing else, it is filled with all sorts of nonsense like unrequited love. Therefore, immediately find yourself an interesting occupation that requires a lot of time and full dedication - work or a hobby.

Love in the past What to do if your exlove cannot be attributed to either the first or the second? By and large, all the same - the above methods are suitable for experiencing any breakup. Only in your case there will be no unnecessary complications that are inherent in the love of these two types. And time also works for you - it is the best healer for heart wounds. If it is almost impossible to forget your first love, then with any other it will definitely happen - you just need to believe. And when it gets really hard, remind yourself of a quick cure. And in order to make your life easier during this period, you can try a romantic vaccination. Louis Pasteur suggested introducing a small dose of weakened bacteria into the body to form a strong immunity to them. What prevents you from doing the same with regard to love? If you have an excessively pronounced craving for romance, give yourself free rein: find a more or less suitable object for passion and start a relationship with him. But make sure that he is not a new “perfect man”, otherwise you will fall madly in love again, and your task is to let yourself feel in love in an acceptable dose. Sometimes an illusion may arise that everything could be different for you, and it seems that the relationship can still be restored. It is necessary to get rid of it, and as quickly as possible. Firstly, it cannot be different. You cannot deny objective reality - you have what you have, and ideas about another scenario are self-deception. Secondly, even if it seems to you that some mistakes can be corrected and changed, imagine yourself in a year, two, five years. What will happen to your relationship? Most likely, all the discontent and inconsistencies will come out and bloom in full bloom. This means that you should not waste time on this novel, because there is someone who is much more suitable for you. Maybe you should forget your past love and make room for a new and real one? We recommend reading:

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