Many people are looking for reasons for failures in the world around them. Dad is to blame for the fact that we have not received higher education, we consider our husband responsible for not having made a successful career. Even a positive change in the fate of a person expects from the side: the head will raise the salary, the grandmother will leave a huge inheritance. Or children will grow up, become famous and provide us with a decent old age, which we will spend in a luxurious estate abroad. But no one thinks about how to change your life for the better yourself. Without the help of relatives, friends, colleagues, superiors, rich and famous boyfriend. But in vain. This method is the most reliable and effective. But being a mistress of one's own destiny is no easy task. Prepare for the fact that you can no longer lie on the couch, blaming and criticizing the more successful, talented, rich. 
Learn not to shift the blame on the rest
Looking for the guilty is perhaps the most belovedoccupation of all people on our planet. Only from today you must learn to analyze your own mistakes, which were made by you. Do not you have a higher education? So where does the parents, who barely make ends meet? In addition, you could quite enter the desired faculty after you became independent and left your father's house. Did not have a career? What is the reason? First prevented the pregnancy, and then the husband persuaded to become a housewife to drive the child in mugs and bake pies? Start acting now. Work and achieve success even retirees. The main thing is to start. In addition to all, you have a lot of advantages - an adult child and a stable family. Women, whose children can go to school on their own, usually think about finding a good job. At the very beginning of a conscious life, the fair sex representatives planned to be successful, to make a career, but life was completely different. It was not possible to combine the office chair and maternity. And the girl under the influence of the family (society) became a housewife. What is waiting for a girl who refused to build a career on time? Children have grown up. Sometimes high school students even deny having excessive care of their mother. My husband is bored with her, because all these years he grew up, developed, and the range of her interests narrowed to a family hearth. A woman who has dedicated her life to a family is no longer needed by anyone. At best, she will be thrown by her grandchildren for the weekend. At worst, her husband will leave her. But initially it was she who decided to devote herself to home! Therefore, it makes no sense to blame others.
Boldly look to the future and think positively
Many people who decided to change their destiny tobetter, are defeated and surrender at the very beginning. In the soul they want change, but the fear of failure is stronger. In order for the huge chariot of life to still move in the direction you need, it is necessary to realize some truths.
- Victory is not achieved instantly
The more goals you set for yourself, thelonger will have to go to them. If the first time to achieve the desired did not succeed, do not despond, but try again. Remember what kind of insistence was in childhood. So you learn to swim, but from the first time, naturally, you can not stay on the water. However, you again and again enter the river to achieve the goal. And as a result, everything goes out for you. Here the same picture, only instead of a pond - an office, and instead of the ability to swim - the long-awaited promotion.
- You need to be able to analyze and look for new ways
If you can not change your life for the better withsecond time, you need to analyze your mistakes. Perhaps you are doing something wrong? You can not take pressure, not thought out all the details. For example, you need to open a jar of canned goods, but only a fork is at hand. Believe me, there will not be a great desire for the fulfillment of the goal. You also need a cannery key. The same goes for more complex goals.
- Self-confidence - first of all
Before you change your life for the better,you need to properly tune. If you subconsciously wait for defeat - you know, it will be so. Therefore, remember the film "The most charming and attractive" and engage in auto-training. Believe in yourself, your strength and capabilities.
- Do not need to envy and look at other people's achievements
Analyze what you want to achieve. Do you really need this? Very often we try to change life for the better with an eye on someone. A friend bought a car? We, too, enroll in a driving school, secretly envious of its brilliance in the eyes and enthusiastic talk about speed. However, in the end, we understand that the road pleases not everyone. Yes, and the responsibility for the car, pedestrians and dashing drivers, rushing past, is an unbearable burden. And it's good if we realize it at the moment when we sit next to the instructor in the training car. And if the false goals are determined too late, when the new car is already in the garage. In order that this does not happen, you need to think in advance about how to change life for the better, based on personal requirements, and not someone else's achievements. 
Act and move forward only
After we outlined the goals and set upto win, we begin to translate plans into reality. It is important to understand a simple thing: before you change your life for the better, you must first change yourself. And the transformation must occur from the inside. You have to correct the character, get rid of bad habits. Only after this, everything will automatically start to improve everything around. And only after you put in order in life, you can make a plan for further action. Because only so you can achieve what you want.
- Get rid of old things
So, for starters, start cleaning in the apartment. Throw out things that you have not worn for more than two years. Go through the dishes. Think about why you need three tea and five coffee sets? Do you want to transfer your daughter or daughter-in-law into an inheritance? Perhaps for you it is of great value, and for them - the usual old stuff that will take up space and dust on the shelf. Do you think that the sets will be useful to you? It is not easier to acquire one beautiful, which you will use constantly. Remember once and for all - until you get rid of the trash, do not acquire new things. You will not move on, dream and plan, if you do not throw out all the nonsense. Why buy new furniture, if this sofa is still nothing. You'll think he's more than your mother or grandmother. Plus, an endless mess, a lot of garbage will disorient you. You will start to rush from the extreme to the extreme, grab for several things at once. Depression, apathy, low self-esteem is just a small list of what ordinary disorder can lead to.
- Forget about those you do not need
The same applies to our life values. Stop holding on to people who will never be useful to you. Friends, with whom you in the institute were not just water, now live their own lives. Also it is not necessary to be imposed, constantly to call and communicate if they do not show special enthusiasm.
- Put yourself in order
Your husband loved you for his beautiful hair anda luxurious figure? Examine yourself from head to foot and think, you would have liked him as he is now. The soul, of course, is good, but appearance plays an important role. Wrinkles in this case does not spoil the girl. But if you last dyed your hair six months ago, and things were bought before the birth of your baby - everything is very bad. Watch yourself. Sign up for a manicure, hair, massage. Go shopping. Be sure to start attending the fitness club to lose weight and get rid of wrinkles on the body. Believe me, even the employer will be more pleasant to communicate with a well-groomed, if not elderly lady, than with a young lady who neglects basic hygiene. Perceive the world adequately
- Do not shift the blame
So, the first is to learn how to changeattitude to any situation and the action of another person (naturally, from negative to positive). For example, a child without a demand turned on the laptop and accidentally deleted all your important documents. Previously, you would put the kid in a corner, long swearing with the house for not tracking, trying in vain to restore the files. And the atmosphere in the house left much to be desired. The child cries, the relatives get angry, you are also nervous. Not a very pleasant picture, is it? And now let's look at the situation from the other side. The kid erased the data from the computer. Who, in your opinion, is to blame? It was you who did not follow the child and left him unattended (albeit for a short time). A little man, and that was enough to make him mischievous. And if he had not reached out to the laptop, but, say, to sockets or wires? In addition, you left the equipment unattended. Was it really difficult to remove the laptop from the child's field of vision? And the homeless here are nothing to do with. They have as many rights and responsibilities as you. Therefore, if you yourself are guilty of the situation that has happened, then why rip off the evil on the others? Do you agree with this point of view? So, who needs to be put in a corner? You, and only you!
- Do not live past
Five to ten years ago, you could not find a job ina big company, and now you are afraid to send your application there? Enough to worry! Maybe then the recruiting manager was not in the mood, you did not have enough experience, this vacancy did not match your ambitions. Now much has changed, including the potential and age, so boldly go to the interview. Do the same in all other cases. After all, if you look back, your neck will curl up. Learn to distinguish between past and present.
- Learn to say no
Think about how often you go on aboutfriends, relatives, acquaintances? Are you able to deny others without feeling guilty? Perhaps you did not even notice such a spinelessness. But it can destroy your life, career, family, personal happiness. If you count, a third of what you do (and even more) is not due to your needs or preferences, but to the desire of others. Of course, this does not mean that you should forget about the rest, stop paying attention to children, parents, husband. To live only for yourself is boring and uninteresting. The main thing is to be able to balance between what you want and what I demand from you the rest. It's one thing when you come to the rescue of a friend who can not sit at home with a sick child, because she has a job at work. But doing this every time she needs to run to a manicure - reckless. Do not be able to say "no" - a sign of stupidity, disrespect for yourself and your desires. Learn to distinguish a request for help with impudence. Do only what your heart tells you. And it's only the bosses who can pay you to do your own robot. Know how to plan and dream
- When setting goals, do it more specifically
Want a new car? Describe which model would be preferred to see in the garage. And even better - find the picture of the vehicle you like and hang it near the desktop. Every day, looking at the picture, you will tune in to your dream. In this case, it will be much easier to achieve.
- Schedule a detailed plan
This paragraph is somewhat similar to the previous one, but itmore detailed. And you need to do it exactly after you have learned to specify your goals. Write - how exactly should your life for the better. Will you move to a new apartment in the city center? Find good friends? Will you work on prestigious and highly paid work? Describe each item, paying attention to detail. Now schedule the time to reach each specific goal. When and where will you move? And after how many months will you find a new job that will bring a stable income? The more carefully you prescribe the plan of action, the more accurate and quicker it will be.
- Do not be afraid to dream
Sometimes some desires seem delusional. A typical accountant does not even dare to think that he could become a good leader in a large company. A family, renting an apartment for many years, does not even hope for its own corner, believing that real estate is expensive today and will not be affordable. Although a regular mortgage loan would solve the housing problem. Naturally, you have to pay for it. But one thing is when you give money to a stranger for an apartment that will never be yours. And a completely different situation develops when a person buys a home from the bank. But, of course, only dreaming, doing nothing - is not enough. Otherwise, we would all be rich, famous, successful and loved. If you dream about your own home, then buy a newspaper with ads, sign a contract with a real estate agency, go to the bank. Any step will bring you closer to the goal. The realtor will advise a reliable option for lending, talk about the intricacies of buying real estate, pick up a suitable apartment for the cost and layout. However, remember the mood. Failures should not turn you off the right direction. Have you decided to radically change your life for the better? Change, no matter what. And never stop on what has been achieved. Have moved to a new apartment? It's time to think about giving. Bought a car? So, we need to go on a round-the-world trip. Do not feel sorry for yourself and give time to rest. The spent forces will be restored as soon as you realize that the goal has finally been achieved.
- Believe that it's time to change something in yourself
In order to normal everyday routinehas turned into an interesting and rich life, it is necessary to let the fresh wind of change enter the gray days. Think about what you wanted to achieve earlier, but did not do so due to family circumstances, due to lack of free time and internal barriers? Maybe learn to play the guitar? Or learn English? It is time to revive old desires. Sign up for courses on your favorite instrument or hire a foreign language tutor. A new hobby will allow you to shake and look at the world around you with different eyes. Forget about the word "tomorrow" Laziness, unfortunately, the main enemy of a better life! Do not postpone for later what you can do today. Get up and go to the training center, bank, real estate agency, car dealership. Try to maximally load your day so that the goals become even closer. Imagine that you live the last week. What would you do? So do what can bring you closer to the goal. Of course, the bank will stand in its place and in a week. Yes, and a loan will be given to you both tomorrow and in a year. Bank employees do not care in whose apartment you live and what the house of your dream looks like. Do not postpone anything for later. Start to change right now. By the way, remember one well-known truth - who gets up early, that God gives. Set the alarm for an hour or two earlier than usual. So you can manage a day to do a lot more things. Do not feel sorry for yourself. Remember that lying on your side, success is not achieved. No one will come to your house and say: "Listen, are you dreaming of a separate three-room apartment with a chic panoramic view of the sea? And I just have a good option for you. And with the bank all the issues have been resolved long ago. " That sounds silly, right? But this example clearly shows that it's up to you to solve all the problems. First, try to get up at least an hour earlier. And you can have a nap before dinner when you live in a new apartment. If you want, of course. After achieving one goal, you start to desire more. So the person is arranged: he does not know how to be content with the small. There is no limit to perfection. In addition, in ten years you will want to help children, grandchildren with the implementation of their dreams. Try not to communicate with those who do not believe in you. If it is almost impossible to do this (for example, in case parents or the second half doubt you), then stop sharing your plans with them. Do you want to improve your life? Perfectly. Do this in silence. And if you talk about dreams and thoughts about the future, then only to those people who will definitely support you and give good advice. The same goes for communicating with unpleasant people. Warm-hearted neighbor, whiner-colleague, ex-husband, playing on nerves - all sent to the list of ignored persons. You do not need a negative at the time when you go to your goal. And then you yourself will notice how bright your life has become without energy vampires acting in the form of a classic spoon of tar. We want to get pure honey with you at the end of the experiment, right? Be flexible in the implementation of the desired course, a three-room apartment in the center of the capital - it's great. But if your income does not allow you to cover the cost of the loan, then maybe you should choose a more modest option and simpler? Nobody forces you to abandon the intended goals. Just learn to break up tasks into lighter tasks. So you can achieve everything you want. You could not have read Anna Karenina without mastering the alphabet in the first grade. First, buy a "Khrushchev" in the sleeping area, and then swing and a more solid housing. In this case, you can both sell the previous apartment, and hand it over to the tenants, and with money for rent, you can partially repay the loan. The main thing is to believe that you will succeed. Do not hesitate, do not stop and do not change directions. This is how you achieve your goal and change your life for the better. 
Do not take failure to heart
So, imagine that you slipped and fell. Do you think someone noticed this? Some will pass by, not paying attention to you, others will try to help you. No one will even think of laughing, gloating, or trying to knock down again. It's exactly the same in normal life. If you make a mistake in the report, make a wrong plan, make a small typo in the letter, the end of the world will not come. Of course, no matter how hard you try, there will always be troubles on your way that you have to constantly struggle with. But if you do not sit idly by, and start thinking out how to get out of this situation, you will succeed. Remember the parable of two mice caught in a jug of milk. One stopped resisting, folded her legs and drowned. The second did not want to put up with the impending death. Quickly moving, she whipped a thick sour cream, from which it's much easier to get out. Now you know how to change your life for the better. And who to be: an unfortunate victim or mistress of your own destiny - choose only you! We advise you to read:
