Many people look for reasons for failures in the environmentworld. It is our father's fault that we did not get a higher education, we hold our husband responsible for the fact that we did not make a successful career. Even positive changes in fate are expected from the outside: the boss will raise your salary, grandma will leave you a huge inheritance. Or the children will grow up, become famous and provide us with a decent old age, which we will spend in a luxurious estate abroad. But no one thinks about how to change their lives for the better on their own. Without the help of relatives, friends, colleagues, senior management, a rich and famous boyfriend. And in vain. This method is the most reliable and effective. But being the mistress of your destiny is not an easy task. Get ready for the fact that you will no longer be able to lie on the couch, accusing and criticizing more successful, talented, rich people.
Learn not to shift the blame on the rest
Looking for someone to blame is probably my favorite thingoccupation of all people on our planet. Only from today you should learn to analyze your own mistakes, which were made by you. You do not have a higher education? So what do your parents, who can barely make ends meet, have to do with it? In addition, you could well have entered the desired faculty after you became independent and left your parental home. Your career did not work out? What is the reason? First, pregnancy interfered, and then your husband persuaded you to become a housewife to take your child to clubs and bake pies? Start acting now. Even retirees work and achieve success. The main thing is to start. In addition to everything, you have a lot of advantages - an adult child and a stable family. Women whose children can go to school on their own, usually think about finding a good job. At the very beginning of their conscious life, representatives of the fair sex planned to be successful, to make a career, but life turned out completely differently. It was not possible to combine the office worker's chair and motherhood. And the girl, under the influence of her family (society), became a housewife. What awaits a girl who refused to build a career on time? The children have already grown up. Sometimes high school students even deny their mother's excessive care. Her husband is bored with her, because all these years he grew, developed, and her circle of interests has narrowed to the family hearth. A woman who has dedicated her life to her family is no longer needed by anyone. At best, she will be given grandchildren for the weekend. At worst, her husband will leave her. But it was she who initially decided to devote herself to the home! Therefore, there is no point in blaming others.
Boldly look to the future and think positively
Many people who have decided to change their destinybest, suffer defeat and give up at the very beginning. In their hearts they want changes, but the fear of failure turns out to be stronger. In order for the huge chariot of life to move in the direction you need, it is necessary to realize some truths.
- Victory is not achieved instantly
The more goals you set for yourself, theyou will have to go to them longer. If you fail to achieve what you want the first time, do not be discouraged, but try again. Remember how persistent you were as a child. You are learning to swim, but naturally, you cannot stay afloat the first time. However, you enter the river again and again to achieve your goal. And in the end, you succeed. Here is the same picture, only instead of a pond there is an office, and instead of the ability to swim there is a long-awaited promotion.
- You need to be able to analyze and look for new ways
If you failed to change your life for the betterthe second time, you need to analyze your mistakes. Perhaps you are doing something wrong? You can't take it by force without thinking through everything to the smallest detail. For example, you need to open a can of preserves, but you only have a fork at hand. Believe me, a huge desire will not be enough to achieve the goal. You also need a can opener. The same applies to more complex goals.
- Self-confidence - first of all
Before you change your life for the better,you need to set yourself up correctly. If you subconsciously expect defeat, know that it will happen. So remember the film "The Most Charming and Attractive" and do auto-training. Believe in yourself, your strengths and capabilities.
- Do not need to envy and look at other people's achievements
Analyze what you want to achieve.But do you really need it? Very often we try to change our lives for the better with an eye on someone else. Did your friend buy a car? We also sign up for a driving school, secretly envying the sparkle in her eyes and enthusiastic talk about speed. However, in the end we understand that the road does not please everyone. And responsibility for the car, pedestrians and reckless drivers rushing past turns out to be an unbearable burden. And it’s good if we realize this at the moment when we sit next to the instructor in the training car. But what if false goals are set too late, when the new car is already in the garage. In order to prevent this from happening, you need to think in advance about how to change your life for the better, based on your personal requirements, and not on someone else’s achievements.
Act and move forward only
Once we have set goals andset yourself up for victory, we begin to implement plans into reality. Here it is important to understand a simple thing: before changing your life for the better, you must first change yourself. Moreover, the transformation must occur from within. You must correct your character, get rid of bad habits. Only after this will everything automatically begin to improve everything around you. And only after you have brought complete order to your life, you can make a plan for further action. After all, this is the only way you can achieve what you want.
- Get rid of old things
So, first of all, start cleaning your apartment.Throw away things you haven’t worn for more than two years. Sort out your dishes. Think about why you need three tea and five coffee sets? Do you want to pass them on to your daughter or daughter-in-law as an inheritance? Perhaps they are of great value to you, but for them, they are just old junk that will take up space and gather dust on a shelf. Do you think you will need the sets? It’s not easier to get one beautiful one that you will use constantly. Remember once and for all – until you get rid of the junk, you will not get new things. You will not move on, dream and plan if you do not throw all this nonsense out of your head. Why buy new furniture if this little sofa is still okay. Big deal, it’s older than your mother or grandmother. Plus, endless chaos and a large amount of garbage will disorient you. You will start rushing from one extreme to another, grabbing several things at once. Depression, apathy, low self-esteem - this is just a small list of what ordinary disorder can lead to.
- Forget about those you do not need
The same applies to our life values.Stop sticking to people you'll never need. The friends you were inseparable with at college are now living their own lives. And don't be pushy, constantly calling and communicating if they don't show much enthusiasm.
- Put yourself in order
Your husband fell in love with you for your beautiful hair anda luxurious figure? Look at yourself from head to toe and think whether he would like you the way you are now. The soul, of course, is good, but appearance plays an important role. Wrinkles in this case do not spoil the girl in any way. But if the last time you dyed your hair was six months ago, and you bought things before the birth of the child - everything is very bad. Take care of yourself. Sign up for a manicure, hairdo, massage. Go shopping. Be sure to start visiting a fitness club to lose weight and get rid of folds on your body. Believe me, even an employer will be more pleased to communicate with a well-groomed, albeit not young lady, than with a young lady who neglects basic hygiene. Perceive the world adequately
- Do not shift the blame
So, the first thing is to learn how to changeattitude to any situation and action of another person (naturally, from negative to positive). For example, a child turned on a laptop without asking and accidentally deleted all your important documents. Before, you would put the baby in a corner, quarrel with your family for not keeping an eye on him, and try in vain to restore the files. And the atmosphere in the house would leave much to be desired. The child is crying, your family is angry, and you are also nervous. Not a very pleasant picture, is it? Now let's look at the situation from the other side. The baby erased data from the computer. Who do you think is to blame? It was you who did not keep an eye on the child and left him unattended (even for a short time). This was enough for the little person to cause mischief. But what if he had climbed not to the laptop, but, say, to the sockets or wires? In addition, you left the equipment unattended. Was it really that difficult to remove the laptop from the child's field of vision? And the family has nothing to do with it. They have the same rights and responsibilities as you. So if you yourself are to blame for the situation that happened, then why take it out on others? Do you agree with this point of view? So, who should be put in the corner? You, and only you!
- Do not live past
Five or ten years ago you were unable to find a jobto a large company, and now you are afraid to send your application there? Stop worrying! Perhaps the recruiting manager was not in the mood then, you did not have enough experience, the vacancy did not match your ambitions. Now a lot has changed, including potential and age, so go to the interview boldly. Do the same in all other cases. After all, if you look back, your neck will break. Learn to distinguish between the past and the present.
- Learn to say no
Think about how often you follow the leadfriends, family, acquaintances? Are you able to say no to others without feeling guilty? Perhaps you have not even noticed such softness in yourself. But it can ruin your life, career, family, personal happiness. If you count, then a third of what you do (or even more) is caused not by your needs or preferences, but by the desires of others. Of course, this does not mean that you should forget about others, ceasing to pay attention to children, parents, husband. Living only for yourself is boring and uninteresting. The main thing is to be able to balance between what you want and what others demand from you. It is one thing when you come to the rescue of a friend who cannot sit at home with a sick child, because she has an emergency at work. But doing this every time she needs to run to get a manicure is reckless. Not being able to say “no” is a sign of stupidity, disrespect for yourself and your desires. Learn to distinguish between a request for help and impudence. Do only what your heart tells you. And only bosses who pay you well for it can force you to do someone else's job. Know how to plan and dream
- When setting goals, do it more specifically
Do you want a new car?Describe what model you would prefer to see in the garage. Or better yet, find a picture of the vehicle you like and hang it near your desk. Every day, looking at the photo, you will tune in to your dream. In this case, achieving it will be much easier.
- Schedule a detailed plan
This point is somewhat similar to the previous one, but itmore detailed. And it needs to be done precisely after you have learned to specify your goals. Write down how exactly your life should change for the better. Will you move to a new apartment in the city center? Find good friends? Work at a prestigious and highly paid job? Describe each point, paying attention to the details. Now set a deadline for achieving each specific goal. When and where will you move? And in how many months will you find a new job that will bring in a stable income? The more carefully you write out your action plan, the more accurately and quickly it will be implemented.
- Do not be afraid to dream
Sometimes some desires seem crazy.An ordinary accountant does not even dare to think that he could become a good manager in a large company. And a family that has been renting an apartment for many years does not even hope for their own corner, believing that real estate is expensive these days and will be unaffordable. Although an ordinary mortgage loan would solve the housing problem. Naturally, you have to pay for it. But it is one thing when you give money to a stranger for an apartment that will never be yours. And a completely different situation arises when a person buys his own home from a bank. But, of course, just dreaming without doing anything is not enough. Otherwise, we would all be rich, famous, successful and loved. If you dream of your own home, then buy a newspaper with ads, sign a contract with a real estate agency, go to the bank. Any step will bring you closer to your goal. A realtor will advise a reliable option for lending, tell you about the intricacies of buying real estate, select an apartment that is suitable in price and layout. However, remember about the attitude. Failures should not turn you from the right direction. Have you decided to radically change your life for the better? Change it, no matter what. And never stop there. Have you moved to a new apartment? It's time to think about a summer house. Have you bought a car? Then you need to go on a round-the-world trip. No need to feel sorry for yourself and give yourself time to rest. The energy you've expended will be restored as soon as you understand that the goal has finally been achieved.
- Believe that it's time to change something in yourself
In order for the usual daily routineпревратилась в интересную и насыщенную жизнь, необходимо впустить в серые будни свежий ветер перемен. Вспомните о том, чего вы хотели добиться раньше, но так и не сделали в силу семейных обстоятельств, из-за отсутствия свободного времени и внутренних барьеров? Может, научиться играть на гитаре? Или освоить английский язык? Настало время воскресить давние желания. Запишитесь на курсы игры на любимом инструменте или наймите репетитора иностранных языков. Новое увлечение позволит вам встряхнуться и посмотреть на окружающий вас мир другими глазами. Забудьте про слово «завтра» Лень, к сожалению, главный враг лучшей жизни! Не откладывайте на потом то, что можно сделать именно сегодня. Вставайте и идите в учебный центр, банк, агентство по недвижимости, автосалон. Старайтесь по максимуму загрузить свой день так, чтобы цели стали еще ближе. Представьте, что живете последнюю неделю. Что бы вы совершили? Вот и делайте то, что может приблизить вас к цели. Конечно, банк будет стоять на своем месте и через неделю. Да и кредит вам дадут и завтра, и через год. Банковским работникам все равно, в чьей квартире вы живете и как выглядит дом вашей мечты. Не откладывайте ничего на потом. Начинайте меняться прямо сейчас. Кстати, вспомните одну известную истину – кто рано встает, тому Бог дает. Поставьте будильник на час-два раньше, чем обычно. Так вы сможете успеть за день сделать гораздо больше дел. Не жалейте себя. Помните, что лежа на боку, успеха не добиться. Никто ведь не придет к вам домой и не скажет: «Слушай, это ты мечтаешь об отдельной трехкомнатной квартире с шикарным панорамным видом на море? А у меня как раз есть для тебя удачный вариант. И с банком все вопросы давно решены». Звучит глупо, правда? Зато данный пример наглядно показывает, что все проблемы решать именно вам. Для начала постарайтесь встать хотя бы на час раньше. А поспать до обеда вы сможете потом, когда будете жить в новой квартире. Если захотите, конечно. Ведь добившись одной цели, начинаешь желать большего. Так уж устроен человек: он не умеет довольствоваться малым. Ведь совершенству нет предела. К тому же, через десять лет вы захотите помочь детям, внукам с осуществлением их мечты. Старайтесь не общаться с теми, кто в вас не верит Если сделать это практически невозможно (например, в случае, когда в тебе сомневаются родители или вторая половина), тогда перестаньте делиться с ними своими планами. Хотите улучшить свою жизнь? Прекрасно. Делайте это молча. А если и рассказывать о мечтах и мыслях о будущем, то только тем особам, которые вас точно поддержат и дадут дельный совет. То же самое касается и общения с неприятными людьми. Сварливая соседка, нытик-коллега, бывший муж, играющий на нервах – всех отправляем в список игнорируемых особ. Вам не нужен негатив в то время, когда вы идете к своей цели. А дальше вы и сами заметите, насколько светлой стала ваша жизнь без энергетических вампиров, выступающих в виде классической ложки дегтя. Мы же хотим с вами получить чистый мед в конце эксперимента, не так ли? Будьте гибкими в осуществлении желаемого Конечно, трехкомнатная квартира в центре столицы – это здорово. Но если ваш доход не позволит покрыть затраты на кредит, то, может, стоит выбрать вариант поскромнее и попроще? Никто не заставляет вас отказываться от намеченных целей. Просто учитесь разбивать задачи на более легкие. Так вы сможете добиться всего, что захотите. Вы ведь не смогли бы прочитать «Анну Каренину», не освоив в первом классе алфавит. Сначала купите «хрущевку» в спальном районе, а потом замахивайтесь и на более солидное жилье. При этом вы можете как продать предыдущую квартиру, так и сдать ее квартирантам, а деньгами за аренду частично погашать кредит. Главное – верить в то, что у вас все получится. Не сомневайтесь, не останавливайтесь и не меняйте направления. Именно так вы достигнете своей цели и измените жизнь к лучшему. 
Do not take failure to heart
So imagine you slipped andfell. Do you think anyone noticed? Some will pass by without paying attention to you, others will try to help you. No one will even think of laughing, gloating or trying to knock you down again. The same thing happens in everyday life. If you make a mistake in a report, draw up a plan incorrectly, make a small typo in a letter, the end of the world will not come. Of course, no matter how hard you try, you will always encounter troubles on your way that you will have to constantly fight. But if you do not sit idly by, but start thinking about how to get out of this situation, you will succeed. Remember the parable of two mice that fell into a jug of milk. One stopped resisting, folded her paws and drowned. The second did not want to put up with the impending death. Moving quickly, she whipped up thick sour cream, from which it is much easier to get out. Now you know how to change your life for the better. And who to be: an unfortunate victim or the mistress of your destiny – it’s up to you to choose! We recommend reading:
