Is there friendship between a man and a womanin its purest form? Whenever this topic comes up, there are always both supporters of this type of relationship and those who claim that there is no difference between friendship and love. Let's try to understand how things really are. Today we will talk about a mysterious and speculative phenomenon - friendship between a man and a woman. According to the dictionary, friendship is a close relationship in which there is mutual trust, affection and common interests. But there are as many opinions as there are people, as well as meanings put into the concept of "friendship". For some, it is a way of lending money, for others - an opportunity to get more competent advice, and for others - sharing the burdens of life, its difficulties and joint problem solving. We can say that almost all statuses about friendship and love are based on the fact that we often feel the need to constantly feel someone's support, especially when it seems to us that it is necessary. At the same time, we want to see cheerful, understanding, kind and reliable people around us, and there should be as many of them as possible, because the proverb says: "Don't have a hundred rubles, have a hundred friends!" And the thickness of our address book already gives us more and more confidence that at any moment we will find a suitable friend and there is always someone to call and pour out our soul to. They say that if you have a lot of friends, then a person will not be lonely. But can all of them be called true friends? The answer is different for everyone, and it is not so easy to understand. And if the question is about friendship between a strong and a weak representative of humanity, that is, a man and a woman, then how can we understand friendship or love?

About love, friendship and destiny

A man and a woman are two different worlds, twoразных вселенной, это «инь» и «янь». Так не похожи, так чужды и так притягательны друг для друга. Богом создано было так, что у нас совершенно разное восприятие окружающего мира, способ выражения мыслей и проявления эмоций. Но единое место жительства в виде нашей планеты должно было бы сплотить и примирить нас, сделать понятными друг другу по истечению многих веков. Однако и по сей день мы все так же пытаемся понять друг друга, изучить, приручить, побороть, покорить и непрестанно учимся статусам про дружбу и любовь. Противоположный пол кажется нам порою абсолютно непонятным из-за полной несхожести с нами самими. И нас все равно влечет друг другу, это карма и рок, и никуда не деться нам от необходимости быть вместе. И иной раз грань между дружбой и любовью так тонка, так незаметна! И если ее стереть — последствия могут быть непредсказуемы. По сути, отношения – это, прежде всего, общение, которое начинается уже с первого слова «Привет!». И в ходе общения мы всегда играем какую-то роль. Психология утверждает, что во взаимоотношениях мужчины и женщины существуют четыре основные модели общения: «Мужчина и Женщина», «Мать и Сын», «Дочь и Отец», «Сестра и Брат». Если и встречаются вариации, то весьма незначительные. Эти роли могут время от времени меняться или постепенно перетекать одна в другую. Например, очень часто, женщина в семье играет роль Матери не только для детей, но и для своего мужа. Отсюда и расхожие высказывания, что, мол, у нее на одного ребенка больше. В какой то степени так и есть, ведь часто жена убирает за мужем, кормит его, одевает, следит, чтобы он отдыхал и берег свое здоровье, жалеет, выслушивает и вдохновляет. Особенно, когда у мужчины проблемы на работе или финансовые трудности — если рядом мудрая женщина — пусть и просто подруга — она быстро заставит мужчину успокоиться. Да и вообще — мужчине забота и поддержка необходимы практически постоянно — психология этот факт подтверждает. Бытует мнение, что у мужчин гораздо ниже порог чувствительности. Например, заболев, он ведет себя точно как маленький ребенок, донимая жену своими капризами, а когда у него болит голова – он страдает сильнее, чем женщина во время родов. Конечно же, вынести всё это можно только через проявление дружбы и любви. В принципе, до какой-то степени это все совершенно нормально, ведь ласки и заботы хотят все, и мужчины не исключение. Только лишь бы всё оно не заходило далеко, и мужчина не увлекся всерьез и надолго ролью маменькиного сынка. В таком случае в отношениях уже исчезает равенство, а женщина устает держать все на себе и под своим контролем, ведь ей тоже хочется проявлений дружбы и любви. Просто невозможно быть все время ведомым – даже очень сильные женщины желают иметь рядом более сильное, чем собственное, плечо. Если этого не произойдет — велик риск нервного срыва — психология видела немало подобных примеров. Поэтому женщина подсознательно становится Сестрой и требуют равного отношения между собой и своим партнером. Если мужчина включается в процесс, им удается добиться какой-то гармонии: они разделяют ответственность за семью пополам, примерно равномерно вдохновляют и поддерживают друг друга. Постепенно они становятся полноценными Мужчиной и Женщиной. Ни один не чувствует себя подавляемым в чем-то. Где тут граница между дружбой и любовью? Нет её. Случается, что затем мужчина добавляет напору, смелости и решительности, а женщина устает быть сильной. Тогда она, наконец, полностью отдается своему желанию быть маленькой, беззащитной и хрупкой, а он, наоборот, чувствует небывалый прилив сил и даже свое всемогущество. Он может говорить ей успокаивающие слова, призывать к расслаблению и спокойствию, ведь он сам обо всем подумает и позаботиться о ней. О таких мужчинах говорят: как за каменной стеной. Да-да, к счастью, такие мужчины до сих пор существуют! Тогда женщина и становится Дочерью: ей так приятно и уютно под крылышком надежного Отца. Она с удовольствием отдает ему бразды правления и полностью доверяет все дела и саму себя — особенно если мужчина поощряет подобную модель поведения. Чем отличается дружба от любви в этом случае? Ведь они снова проходят тот же круг, создавая дружную пару. Таким образом, достигается бесконечное течение взаимодействия и обновления отношений. И в каждой паре только свой индивидуальный цикл, который не вписывается ни в какие временные рамки. Кто-то будет Дочерью – месяц, а кому-то нужен целый год таких отношений. Но в любом случае, трудно сказать, что важнее — любовь или дружба. Кстати говоря, в подобных парах эта грань очень зыбка — если мужчина только намекнет, женщина тут же забудет о дружбе и отдастся любви. Хорошо, когда все это происходит взаимно. А представим на миг, что мужчина зациклился на роли Сына и не может выйти из нее, в то время, как женщине необходимо побыть Дочерью и она упорно подсознательно отказывается быть Мамой своему мужу. В таком случае она может чувствовать себя ущемленной и подавленной, что, несомненно, отражается и на отношениях в семье. Проблемой в таком союзе будет то, что в нём нет истинной дружбы. Таким образом, можно сказать, что одним из китов нормального брака является как раз непременное наличие дружбы между мужчиной и женщиной. Что же представляет собой такая дружба вне семейных отношений?

Statuses of friendship and love

Do you know that psychology is quitean exact science? And everything has an explanation and a name, including such a phenomenon as friendship between a man and a woman. Such friendship of the sexes, if they are not spouses or lovers, can also be conditionally divided into several statuses.

• Mother - Son

Friendship of this kind implies thatthe man acts here as a little one. It is convenient and pleasant for him to turn to a woman - a friend for help or advice. She can be his colleague at work or even his boss: he learns from her and near her, warms himself from her warmth and can always cry on her shoulder. At the same time, she, being smarter, and maybe older and constantly taking care of him, can no longer do the same and count on his support. Because he is a priori below her and is used to only receiving, but either does not know how or has not yet learned to give. How can one understand whether friendship or love is present in this case? After all, such a state of affairs looks more like patronage than friendship! Nevertheless, even in such friendship there is an element of a kind of filial - maternal love, without which a man and a woman are unlikely to be drawn to each other.

• Daughter - Father

In this case, the friendship option is implied.between a girl and a mature man. Of course, it is good and very convenient to have a strong and intelligent man as a friend, who helps and supports, but does not insist on sex. However, this happens extremely rarely. After all, if a man is interested in a girl and helps her, protects her from adversity and lends his strong shoulder - he still thinks about how to turn friendship into love. Well, or, at least, sex - well, such is male psychology. No, a selfless man-father can really come across a woman's path, but in this case, he rather acts as a Teacher, but not a friend.

• Man Woman

Here two free and equal people are friendspersonalities, each of whom values ​​the freedom and opinion of the other, but does not suppress or infringe on each other's rights. These are largely established people or people who develop in parallel, and their friendship can initially be built on some common benefit, for example, a common cause, when a man and a woman are colleagues at work. And here there is little difference between friendship and love. After all, becoming closer and closer, sooner or later they will certainly feel sexual attraction to each other - this is how creatures of the opposite sex are arranged. In such situations, where friendship develops into love, misunderstandings often arise. For example, a woman begins to seriously think about how to make true love out of friendship and opens not only her soul, but also gives her heart to a man. He, in turn, suddenly comes to his senses, remembering that he has a wife and they are only friends or colleagues, although he himself has long crossed this line. Often, it is much easier for a woman in such a relationship to just be friends, when she has initially indicated inside herself that there can be no intimacy between them. This relaxes her, and she, without thinking about her behavior, behaves easily and naturally, reveals her secrets, shares her innermost thoughts. That is, with him, her friend, she can be herself, without demanding anything from him, even in her thoughts. This captivates, this enchants any man who, deep down, is still a conqueror and a hunter. He sees the beautiful soul of this girl, participates in solving her problems and involuntarily becomes closer and closer, despite the obstacles and the status of a man who is not free. And when an understanding of affection and love arises, both are at a loss and do not know how to understand friendship or love between them now. Especially if one of them is not alone and has a permanent partner. Or if one of them has a guilty conscience - he can get scared and break off friendly relations, which greatly hurts the other. And the only solution here is a kind of ultimatum: either we decide together how to transform friendship into love, or we break off this friendship, because it is unbearable to live like this any longer. Can such a relationship be called just friendship? No, of course not! Only short-term.

• Sister brother

This type of friendship between a man and a woman is verysimilar to the previous relationship, but here from the very beginning it is necessary for both to put a strict taboo on the possibility of sex. Such friendship is very similar to the relationship between a brother and sister, for whom even the question of intimacy cannot arise. In such a case, friendship can arise most often. It is a real friendship, if, for example, these are colleagues at work who do not feel great sympathy for each other and do not even admit the possibility of love after friendship in their thoughts. But even here, the absolute difference between friendship and love is unprovable. How many stories do we know when a girl eventually marries a friend, beginning to trust him more and more. That is, gradually and unconsciously, both can shift the emphasis between manifestations of friendship and love, and, in the end, everything will come to the same thing as with the couple "Man and Woman". After all, they can openly complain to each other about their fate and find, at the same time, consolation, spend business trips together or lead common projects at work. All this is possible if one or both of them have problems in their personal life: then they are naturally drawn to search for understanding and simply attention somewhere on the side. In the end, such a friendship between a man and a woman is also doomed to perish.

How to understand friendship or love?

Sometimes it can be kind of educationalfriendship between a man and a woman. When both, a man and a woman, are single, and they, as it seems to them, are simply communicating, finding out the peculiarities of the psychology of the opposite sex. And also tell each other how to meet and go on dates, then together they analyze their failures and pour out their souls to each other. If this continues long enough, one of them will definitely come up with an idea: “What is the difference between friendship and love, and maybe we should try to be together?” And so the friendship ends, even regardless of what answer the other side gives. This is how women often marry their friend, when one day they suddenly look at him with different eyes. At the same time, it should be taken into account that such a family will be built mainly on friendship, not love. A short flash of love will most likely pass, and the spouses will again become friends with each other, but in a slightly different capacity. This may suit both, then this option for love, friendship and destiny is very good for creating a strong and close-knit family. It also happens that one of the friends has a personal life, and the other does not. Little by little, jealousy creeps into this kind of friendship – here it is, and love behind the friendship. Sometimes, when one of these friends gets married, the other only then understands who he has lost, and that friendship is also love. And it immediately becomes clear what is more important – love or friendship… But – too late, too late! And psychology claims that this is also a variant of friendship – love.

Male and female friendship is also love

So, it seems we can draw some conclusions:friendship between a man and a woman can only be temporary. Some are friends for a long time, some are not, but the result will still be either intimacy or a break in relations, and, in some cases, dry patronage based on benefits. Of course, there are options for true love after friendship. But if this did not happen, do not despair that the friendship has ended. In any case, it enriched us, made us more interesting, wiser, and in some ways even better. This is life, and it is always right: it means that it was better for both, or in the future we will suddenly understand that love or friendship is more important. And the relationship will become even more useful for us. Or maybe this friend did not give our man the opportunity to get closer to us? After all, this can happen even on the energy level. Therefore, in any case, you should open up to your Happiness, and, if necessary, think about how to create love from a long friendship. And at the same time, appreciate the people we can call friends, enjoy communicating with them, getting the best out of it! After all, it's good to realize that there is still a person nearby to whom you can turn, if not for help, then just for a kind friendly word. Human communication gives us the concept of love, friendship and fate. And this is a prerequisite for a harmonious life of an individual. Friendship is also love. It is the awareness of this that gives us a feeling of recognition and understanding, without which a person simply cannot exist for a long time, cannot LIVE a full and fulfilling life, but only becomes overgrown with inferiority complexes and goes downhill. Therefore, if someone appreciates you - appreciate it in return. And always keep the fire of friendship alive, because sometimes one kind word is enough for this! Well, and if love arises after friendship, then so be it! Only you can live your life - and no psychology can stop you! We advise you to read:

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