Very often, childbirth leaves indelible marksof a woman's life. And not always as positive as the birth of a charming baby. Very often after childbirth, a woman begins to have problems in her intimate life - sometimes quite serious. And the most common complaint of women is that they are in pain during sex. However, as practice shows, all such problems can be dealt with. Of course, if you "know your enemy by sight." This is exactly what we will talk about below. We will tell you about the difficulties that young mothers face most often, as well as how to deal with them. So, is it painful for you to have sex after childbirth? About two thirds of all women who have recently become happy mothers are familiar with such a nuisance. Moreover, as a rule, they are completely unprepared for this. And it is no coincidence - the first weeks after the birth of the baby, a woman is in real euphoria - she has finally lived to meet her baby! And she does not notice anything and no one around her. But after a month or a month and a half, this euphoria gradually evaporates, and the husband reminds her of himself more and more persistently. And the woman willy-nilly remembers that she is not only a mother, but also a beloved and loving wife. And it is time to return to normal intimate relationships. It is very good if everything goes smoothly. However, disappointing statistics indicate that in most cases, instead of pleasure, a woman feels pain. Do not panic and give in to despair. Many women are afraid that normal sexual life is over forever. After all, now she has a lot of other concerns - feeding the baby, washing, cooking, and also caring for other family members. And the woman resigns herself to this state of affairs. However, you should not do this. In no case should you silently tolerate discomfort - you need to find out as quickly as possible what caused the pain in each specific case. And take measures to eliminate this problem.
Causes of pain
As mentioned above, the first thing that needs to be done isto do - this is to reliably establish the cause of the pain. It is not always possible to do this on your own, so it would be much wiser to consult a gynecologist. And please note - it is best to do this before the start of sexual intercourse. Of course, obstetricians will give you some recommendations when you are discharged from the maternity hospital. As a rule, in most cases they boil down to the following: you cannot start having sex earlier than 6 - 8 weeks after giving birth. The recommendation is, of course, good. But it is very general in nature, without adjustments for the individuality of each specific case. Therefore, a visit to a gynecologist will not be superfluous. The doctor will examine the internal and external genitalia of the woman, assess the condition of the uterus, the degree of healing of the sutures and ruptures, if any. If necessary, a blood test for the level of certain hormones, an ultrasound examination, a consultation with a surgeon may be prescribed. And if the doctor considers that the woman's health allows, he will allow her to have sex. In the same case, if sexual intercourse is accompanied by painful sensations, it is worth visiting the doctor again. The doctor will try to find the cause of the pain and take measures to eliminate it. Although, in fairness, it should be noted that serious problems that make sex painful are extremely rare. Most often, they can be dealt with independently. But it is still worth playing it safe - do not rely on "maybe". So, what leads to the occurrence of painful sensations after childbirth? Most often it is:
- Poorly healed seams and cracks in the perineum
Very often, people get injured during sexual intercourse.stitches and microcracks left after the baby was born. This usually happens in two cases - either the couple hurried and resumed intimate relations before the damage had time to completely heal. Or if the man is too rude and harsh - after all, the tissues at the sites of damage to the mucous membrane and skin are extremely sensitive for the first few months. And as a result, the woman is in pain. In this situation, the problem is solved quite simply. If the cause was not yet healed damage to the perineum, you need to wait some more time. How much exactly - your gynecologist will tell you. Well, in the case of excessive haste of the husband, everything is even simpler. Talk to him, explain. Try calmer and more gentle sex - believe me, it also has its charms. And the chances that you will be in pain are much lower.
- Incorrectly applied seams on the perineum
In rarer cases, pain may occur inperineum during sex can persist for a very long time - sometimes up to a year or longer. And the reason for this may be improper suturing. In this situation, there is only one way out - surgery. Of course, the procedure is unpleasant. But you do not want to associate intimacy with pain and discomfort for the rest of your life, do you? And the operation is extremely simple, not posing any threat to women's health.
- Dense suturing of the entrance to the vagina
Gynecologists often encounter this problema consequence of the "zeal" of their colleagues working in maternity hospitals. The stitches for perineal ruptures and cuts are applied correctly. But too tightly, so to speak. And the entrance to the vagina becomes very narrow. The degree of this pathology varies - in some cases it manifests itself only as mild discomfort, and sometimes it makes itself known with sharp, unbearable pain. In this situation, a man will need a lot of tact, patience and endurance. And do not forget about lubrication - without it it will be very problematic. As a rule, it takes from a month to six months to solve such a problem.
- Seam after caesarean section
Many women believe that in this case,if the baby was born by caesarean section, they are insured against problems in the intimate sphere after childbirth. However, this is not true at all. By the way, the ban on sexual relations for two months is also extremely relevant in this case. After all, this time is necessary for the uterus to return to its previous size, and the placenta to heal. Otherwise, pain during sex is guaranteed. And the suture itself, left after the caesarean section, can also greatly bother the woman. There is only one solution to the problem in this case - the correct choice of position. Avoid those positions in which the postoperative suture is subjected to any impact - for example, friction or pressure.
- Dryness in the vagina
In some cases, the cause of pain isduring sex is nothing more than a lack of sufficient lubrication. It is quite natural that with dry vaginal mucosa there is no point in talking about comfort. Moreover, sharp pain may occur. Moreover, such a problem can be observed for a very long time - sometimes up to a year, or even longer. There are several reasons that can lead to the development of such a problem. The first and most common reason is the state of the hormonal background of a young mother. Like it or not, people were, are and will be children of nature. This means that all the laws of nature apply to people. A little person has just been born. This means that all the woman's attention should be focused on him. And there is no talk yet about procreation. Accordingly, the female body does not see any need to produce lubrication soon after childbirth, facilitating sexual intercourse. And it is not surprising that a woman may feel pain. By the way, a woman can observe something similar in the second half of the menstrual cycle, when conception becomes impossible. The body “understands” that this month the birth of a new life can no longer be expected, so it reduces the level of lubrication. In this case, the only correct decision is to visit a doctor. Only a doctor can decide whether it is worth waiting for some time or whether it is necessary to begin appropriate hormonal therapy. If the doctor decides that it is necessary to give the body some time, he will probably advise the couple to use lubricant. In the postpartum period, it is best to use water-based lubricant. Oil-based lubricant can irritate the still very sensitive mucous membrane of the vagina. And, in addition, if the couple uses condoms, they should remember that oil-based lubricants often lead to the destruction of latex. This means that there is a risk of an unplanned pregnancy.
- Crowded bladder
Sometimes after childbirth the cause of pain is induring sex is extremely common - an overfilled bladder. Moreover, a woman may not feel the urge to urinate, but the pain during sex can be very sharp. Therefore, if you encounter such a situation, try to go to the toilet.
- Various infections
In some cases, the cause of pain ismay be the presence of an infection - both vaginal and bladder. This pathology can only be diagnosed by a doctor, so be sure to seek medical help. The doctor will select the necessary course of treatment and give recommendations that will help to cope with the problem as quickly as possible.
- Bartholinitis
Most women, even those who are well acquainted withanatomy, do not know that in the area of the external genitalia there are quite a large number of different glands. And at the entrance to the vagina are the largest of them. They are paired and are called Bartholin's. The function of these glands is very important - they produce a secretion that ensures a stable level of moisture in the vagina. This is simply necessary for the normal course of sexual intercourse. But sometimes Bartholin's glands can become inflamed. Moreover, the inflammatory process occurs in several stages. First, the excretory ducts of these glands are blocked. Because of this, the normal outflow of secretion is disrupted. As a result, it begins to accumulate inside the gland itself. As this process develops, first there is pain during intercourse, and then the tumor can be felt - its diameter ranges from several millimeters to several centimeters. And during this period, the inflammatory process itself begins to develop. Of course, at this stage, nearby tissues of the genitals are also involved in the inflammatory process. Self-treatment in this case is unacceptable, as it will only worsen the course of the disease. Therefore, a young mother should seek help from a doctor as soon as possible. Doctors deal with this problem quickly and easily.
Psychological reasons
In no case should we lose sight of andsuch a possible cause of pain during sex in the first period after childbirth as psychological problems. The human psyche today still remains the biggest mystery for scientists, despite the high level of medicine. But it is a well-known fact that the psyche has a very strong influence on the physical condition of a person. There are several psychological reasons that can lead to pain during sexual intercourse:
- Fear of pain
This problem is the most pressing.A woman subconsciously expects pain during sex soon after childbirth. And thus, she “programs” herself so that this pain actually appears. And sometimes the reasons for its appearance are quite material. For example, a woman is afraid of pain, the vaginal muscles are tightly contracted. Voila, get it – the pain is right there. And in some cases, this can happen both before the very first sexual intercourse after childbirth, and before subsequent ones. Especially if the first sexual contact really turned out to be painful. In this situation, the main role of the savior of intimate life is assigned to the husband – it depends on how he behaves, whether he has enough tact, tenderness and endurance, how quickly everything will return to normal. In extreme cases, if you cannot cope with the problem on your own, you should consult a psychologist. A specialist will certainly find a way out of this difficult situation.
- Dissatisfaction with his appearance
Many young mothers believe that giving birthbaby affected their appearance in the most unfavorable way. And they have a great complex about this, believing that after giving birth they have lost their former attractiveness for their husband. As a result, on a subconscious level, such women are very “squeezed” - they are embarrassed to undress, they cannot relax properly. And the result is the same notorious pain during sex after childbirth.
- Cultivation of motherhood
Sometimes a woman forgets about everything except her ownbaby. And all the husband's attempts to persuade her to have sex are perceived literally "with hostility". And often all this happens on a subconscious level - the woman herself does not realize what is happening. And again the classic pattern is triggered - tension, muscle spasm, pain. As a result - the subsequent expectation of pain - a kind of vicious circle. And it can only be broken with the help of a husband and / or a specialist. As a rule, psychologists know well how to help a woman after childbirth.
Solving psychological problems
In order to reduce the risk of occurrencepsychological problems, it is necessary to follow several simple rules. Only in this case will sex bring due pleasure – both physical and moral. So:
- Do not try to be a super woman
Don't take it on your shoulders under any circumstancesabsolutely all worries and troubles - you are a living person and have the right to a full rest. As often as possible, involve your husband in help - this will allow him not to feel alienated from the family, and he will begin to understand you much better. And if there is such an opportunity, do not hesitate to ask for help from other relatives - for example, from your mother or mother-in-law. They know firsthand how hard it can be soon after childbirth.
- Learn to stay away from problems
As trite as it may sound, you justit is catastrophically necessary to learn to distance yourself from reality and relax. Moreover, you need to learn this not only during sex, but also in everyday life. This skill will come in handy more than once. Start with the simplest exercise. Sit in a chair, close your eyes and try to relax. “Disconnect” from the outside world. To make it easier to do, at first you can imagine some pleasant moments - for example, relaxing on the beach. And during sex, this method can also be adopted. Although the visual image during sex, of course, should have an erotic slant. Do not rush to smile skeptically - this little trick really helps many women. It is enough to relax before having sex so that sexual intercourse is not so painful.
- Get enough sleep
Of course, for a new mother something like thisThis advice may seem like a real mockery. And this is quite understandable - most women can only dream of sleep during this period. But you should still try to find an opportunity to sleep. At least during the day, at least in snatches. Then the general psychological state of the woman will become much more stable. In conclusion, I would like to reassure young mothers once again. What is happening to you is a temporary phenomenon. If you and your spouse show the necessary endurance and patience, everything will return to normal very quickly. Moreover, most women noted some time after giving birth that their sex life became even brighter and more intense! So we wish you good luck in this difficult task - the fight against temporary difficulties. You will definitely succeed! We advise you to read:
