Human society, as we all know, consists ofof the weaker and stronger sexes. They are constantly in contact with each other in a variety of areas of life. We have to communicate with men everywhere: on the street, at school, at work, at home, and in person. It would seem that there is nothing special about this - we are all people and know how to speak the language. But no! Many girls, going on a date, have a rather vague idea of ​​what to talk about with a guy and how to talk to him. And the lack of such skills creates significant communication difficulties, often hindering the development of further relationships. What to do? How to learn to communicate and how to find topics for conversation with a guy if you have very little experience of such communication?

How correctly to talk with the guy

Talking to a guy is not like chirping at allwith a girlfriend. Women are able to understand each other from a half-word, so their speech in a conversation can consist of half-hints and abrupt phrases. Men are different. They perceive the world differently than women, and a conversation with representatives of the stronger sex is not as easy as it may seem at first glance. In order to understand how to talk to a guy correctly, you need to know some of the features of men's perception of dialogues. To begin with, remember that men have a much lesser need for conversation than women. Therefore, a conversation between a girl and a guy should not be empty and too long. The guy, tired of the tension, will simply stop perceiving the meaning of the speech and delve into his own thoughts. If a young lady really wants to chat with a young man about trifles, he should be warned about this in advance. Then he will treat the conversation correctly, will not strain himself, trying to catch a deep meaning where there is none. The guy will simply perceive the girl's speech as sweet, non-committal chirping. In a serious conversation with a guy, you should always try to remember the purpose of the conversation. When talking with girlfriends, we can allow ourselves to be distracted by extraneous topics and then return to the main one again. Men find this type of dialogue difficult. They try to compare ten different directions of conversation, find a logical connection between them and combine the whole heap of information expressed into a harmonious whole. Let's agree - it's not easy. How should you talk to a guy so that he correctly understands everything we want to say? You need to clearly and, if possible, briefly formulate phrases that correspond to the topic of the conversation as much as possible. They should be clear, without hints and unnecessary interjections. The guy needs to understand everything said at once, and not be lost in guesswork as to what is being discussed. Girls, as a rule, when discussing something among themselves, can already make some final conclusions during the conversation. The peculiarity of men's thinking is different - they first receive information, then build a logical chain from it and only after that draw a conclusion. Therefore, meaningless chatter confuses and irritates them. How to talk to a guy correctly so as not to cause unconscious irritation in him? It is desirable that the girl's speech be coherent and understandable. And in communicating with him, she does not jump from one topic to another.

Topics for conversation

In order to know how to learn to speak withguys, you should have an idea not only of how to talk, but also of what to talk about. What are young people interested in? Certainly not discussing new clothes, household chores, fashion magazines, girlfriends' relationships and gossip about the lives of celebrities. For men, such important topics for us seem like just idle chatter. Men like to talk about sports, politics, cars... In a word, about something real, practical, exciting and raising the adrenaline level. But we may not understand anything about football, politics and cars! What to do? Let's think about what else guys like to talk about. Most of them are very happy to discuss their own successes. So try to talk about such successes, if you know anything about them. If not, then learn to listen carefully or at least pretend to listen. Men like it when women enthusiastically listen to their speeches. Sometimes it is very difficult for a girl to just start a conversation. First, you need to cast aside all your fears. Do you like him? Then go ahead! Nothing ventured, nothing gained! Think about what you would like to know about this person. Ask about their work, hobbies, plans for the future. Below are a few phrases that you can use to start a conversation and gradually move it in the right direction.

• You know, yesterday I read on the Internet ...
• I listened to the news, going to work (to the institute), and there ...
• My brother said that ...
• Do you know computers? I have a problem…

By starting a conversation in this way, you will show yourself in the best light and interest the young man.

What you should not talk about

To avoid getting into an awkward situation, you also need to know what topics of conversation with a guy are unacceptable:

• Do not talk with a young man to engage in self-criticism and tell him about some situations in which you were not up to par. It is better to keep silent about one's own failures;
• In no case can not discuss othersshortcomings and failures. Men are extremely negative about such conversations and can radically change their attitude towards women, suspecting it of insidiousness and envy;
• Never tell everyone about yourself, especially on the first date. A man must feel a mystery in you;
• Do not complain about life, and especially on health. This will not add to your interest;
• Do not talk about past intimate relationships. Put yourself in the shoes of a man. You, too, would be uncomfortable listening to his former girls and listening to the details of sexual life.

These are the main points of building a conversation. In conclusion, here are some more tips:

• Start a conversation with a guy you need specifically, without trying to prepare it for the topic. If you start from afar, he will stop listening to you;
• Thinking about what to talk about with a guy, chooseonly those topics in which you are competent. The main thing is to discuss them confidently. He must perceive you as a person who is solid, capable of independent conclusions and decisions;
• In a conversation with a guy, strictly adhere to the logic of the narrative, clearly describe the facts;
• In conversation with a young man as little as possibleuse conditional phrases, for example: "Is not it?" "Can it be so?" and so on. Avoid subjunctive moods ("I would like" "would know" "would wait" and so on). A lot of probabilities in a conversation are hard for a man to perceive;
• Use a hard tone in the conversation, if in thisthere will be a need. Contrary to popular belief, men are able to perceive such a tone quite adequately. But lisping and deliberately soft tone irritates them.

Well, that's probably all.There is nothing complicated in the science of communication with the stronger sex, but it is better to adhere to everything said above. Otherwise, you risk being misunderstood or not understood at all. And your first date will be your last. We recommend reading:

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